Comments on Girl's Gone Child: Talking? Please Shut-Up.

I wanted to leave a comment on babble but- psch- t...

2007-01-29T12:13:06.630-08:00

I wanted to leave a comment on babble but- psch- too complicated.

just wanted to say that my 7 year old busted a gut at your archer vid. and asked to watch it again.

as a developmental/learning specialist-type (one of the people who sees and works with kids who have learning and devel. issues), i was going to say you might want to have a specialist see him JUST TO SEE, because, you know, seeing can't hurt even though nobody knows him better than you do and blah blah blah and then i decided it really isn't any of my business and moved on.

then is saw the video.

dude TOTALLY talks. what's the problem again?

Well-said! (no pun intended)My son is 18 mos too a...

2006-12-21T21:41:26.406-08:00

Well-said! (no pun intended)

My son is 18 mos too and he isn't talking much either, but I'm not too worried yet. After all, Einstein didn't talk until he was 3 right?

Seriously, people with opinions on OTHER people's ...

2006-12-20T03:47:54.253-08:00

Seriously, people with opinions on OTHER people's kids (when not asked for) SUCK. Flip 'em the bird and be done with it. Enjoy your sandpits and legos and toddler-babble while you can, cause soon he'll turn around and be talking in 'proper sentances' and he won't shutup and you'll be crying for a minute's silence (or toddler babble). My oldest was talking in perfect sentences by 11 months. Crazy early. My 2nd? Well... she didn't talk properly until her third birthday. And now... she won't SHUTUP. At all. Never, ever, ever.

So... all that to say, long live the toddle gibberish!

Not to worry. My (now 8 year old) didn't really st...

2006-12-15T22:02:38.070-08:00

Not to worry. My (now 8 year old) didn't really start talking til closer to 24 months. Our wonderful ped told me it was completely normal. He talks fine now...

Archer is lucky to have a mom like you. You let h...

2006-12-14T11:09:00.283-08:00

Archer is lucky to have a mom like you. You let him be himself, you let him grow into things the way he needs to.

I've so enjoyed your blog since I found it a coupl...

2006-12-13T19:38:52.330-08:00

I've so enjoyed your blog since I found it a couple weeks ago - thanks for sharing you with all of us!

To the point: I AM one of those "someones" you send your child to and I have to say that most of the time, mama knows best and doctors know squat, especially when it comes to language. You KNOW when your child is really sick (hopefully that hasn't happened yet, but when/if it does, you'll KNOW!), you KNOW when your child is faking it, you KNOW when your child needs more help than you can give. Whether or not you deny your mama voice or delay acting on it is another thing altogther, but you still KNOW.

And really, the most important thing at 18 months is that Archer understands you. If he doesn't get his shoes when you ask him to, or if you say you're going to the store and he doesn't go running to the door to go with you...then you have a problem. The second most important thing is that he's not frustrated trying to get you to understand what he wants. If he is...then you need help too (but a little baby sign goes a LONG way in that department...teach MORE, ALL DONE, DRINK, and EAT and you've got just about everything covered!).

Sorry for the novel....KB

You know, Pumpkinpie wasn't speaking much until ab...

2006-12-13T17:08:37.953-08:00

You know, Pumpkinpie wasn't speaking much until about 18 months, I think, but it all came in fast and furious, and I lost track quickly of her new words, and phrases came right after, and now she talks like a little adult at 2.5, so I say don't sweat it yet.

I love reading people's thoughts on their children...

2006-12-13T15:57:42.740-08:00

I love reading people's thoughts on their children's development. It can be quite entertaining! Since I am lacking kids of my own, I only have my own personal history to draw from... my little brother didn't start talking till he was about 3 and when he did, his words came out in complete sentences. It wasn't that he didn't know how to speak or what the words were, he just had me to speak for him. He didn't have anything to talk to my parents about. Until he wanted his training wheels off his bike. When Archer needs his training wheels off, he'll let you know!

All pediatricians are supposed to do an autism scr...

2006-12-13T15:45:34.906-08:00

All pediatricians are supposed to do an autism screening at 18 mo. I would be more concerned if the ped *didn't* do this screening. Talking isn't the be-all and end-all of development, but slow speech development is sometimes a concern as is "losing" speech after it is acquired. Does he point? Does he look at something when you say "Look!" and point? Does he look up at you when you say his name? Is he starting to pretend play (talk on phone, pour juice in a cup, feed a doll)? Will he copy your facial expressions? If he's doing this things, you don't need to be concerned.

Aack PIC I meant pic.Uhh...and said, not "sadi"

2006-12-13T12:56:29.900-08:00

Aack PIC I meant pic.
Uhh...and said, not "sadi"

Phewsh, he's only eighteen months! Jack barely sa...

2006-12-13T12:54:36.586-08:00

Phewsh, he's only eighteen months! Jack barely sadi anything (in English :) before he was two. Mama and boobie was about it. Now he is talking in 4-6 word sentences. I figure that as long as they are communicating with you through play and other actions the rest will come in time.
By the way Archer is a cutie patootie, that first pis is darling!

I just wanted to make a comment from a parent of a...

2006-12-13T10:17:02.890-08:00

I just wanted to make a comment from a parent of a child who actually needed/needs speech therapy. When my son was about Archer's age, he actually had some words and by age 2, he was putting 2 words together, but it was a struggle. I was feeling like you, oh, he'll be fine. Well, it turns out he wasn't "quite" fine. He has a motor planning issue that makes speech acquisition very difficult and at age 5 he still receives services.

I think the HARDEST part of this whole thing wasn't that I had to face the fact that he needed therapy, it was all the "well-meaning" comments/questions that even complete strangers would say to me or the parents who in their roundabout way wanted to compare him to their child. Even harder about all this is that my son is extremely bright - he's an early reader/speller, etc. but b/c of his speech delay people just assume the worst and tend to turn off of him b/c he can't respond "typically".

All children are different, some will struggle and need services (and turn out fine anyway) and others will just blossom. I think what I've learned the most about this whole process is you know your child the best and you'll do what is best regardless of what others have to say about the subject. If I listened to everything anyone ever thought about my son, I'd probably be a basket case right now.

p.s. really enjoy your blog.

I've been coming up on a post about this, too! My ...

2006-12-13T09:35:56.316-08:00

I've been coming up on a post about this, too! My son Chance is 21 months and is not talking either. And frankly, I think some kids don't talk as part of their "negativism" stage. Instead of throwing tantrums or saying "no" to everything, I swear Chance gives me looks like, "You can make me do a lot of things, lady, but you can't make me talk. Now give me more juice," but all he actually says is "eh".

Fortunately, my doc is pretty mellow about it. I asked if I needed to worry if he wasn't talking by two and she said, "not necessarily". I'm not going to worry about it. One of the smartest kids I know didn't talk until he was three!

I'd ditch that doctor. My sense is he didn't give ...

2006-12-13T06:11:20.950-08:00

I'd ditch that doctor. My sense is he didn't give you the whole story - "taking him to someone" is generally more to ease any parental worries than to diagnose something troubling. I've got friends' kids who didn't speak until nearly 2 years and they're fine now. And if he does need, "someone?" So be it. You'll deal with it and that will be that. And he's still an awesome kid with his own strong personality that cannot be changed. Just the way he should be.

Hm... I'm not exactly playing devil's advocate her...

2006-12-12T22:53:19.853-08:00

Hm... I'm not exactly playing devil's advocate here, because I don't entirely disagree with you. Still, I seem to be the voice of dissent in the comments.

While I don't subscribe to the theory of "OMG we have to get this child to see someone RIGHT NOW," it doesn't sound like your doctor was entirely off the wall to me, either.

As long as he keeps progressing steadily, I agree with you that there's not a reason to worry. If he doesn't show any inclination to produce more words over the next few months, though, I think I agree with your doctor that an evaluation wouldn't hurt. But that's all it would be, an evaluation. All 50 states offer free evaluations (and free therapy for children who qualify) through some type of Early Intervention program. If you have anything you're concerned about, you can have an evaluation done. If the evaluation shows an area in which your child could use help, therapy will be offered. And at this age, from the child's perspective, the therapy is just more playtime, with an adult's attention focused strictly on him for that period of time.

(For the record, my son's just recently started therapy. I waited until he was two to have him evaluated. He's having a grand time playing with playdough and trying to say the names of animals with "Miss P." Not that I can't or don't do similar activities with him, but the therapist has insights I don't. OTOH, I can offer her insights into what works for my particular child, too.)

I read somewhere that Einstein didn't talk until a...

2006-12-12T22:23:44.946-08:00

I read somewhere that Einstein didn't talk until age 3? Shove that in thier stupid pie holes! you should tell your doctor he's an ass because a good doctor will tell you the "guidelines for development" are just that- guidelines- just like you say here.

Sounds like changing pediatricians is in order. I ...

2006-12-12T20:37:17.276-08:00

Sounds like changing pediatricians is in order. I stayed with my son's first pediatrician for the first 6 months of his life, just cause, ya' know...I thought she knew him and all. Well, little did I know! I made the switch after talking to a few moms and I could not be more happy with the choice to leave! It's nice to talk to a doc that sees eye to eye with you. It makes all the difference! My son is 16 months now & he don't say much but he sure can scream if he wants to!
PS Archer is adorable & your blog is great!
PSS Saw a pic of you in Babble.com
Can't wait!!

Ezra is 22 months old and all he says is "No." And...

2006-12-12T19:39:43.550-08:00

Ezra is 22 months old and all he says is "No." And, kindof "ball."

Thanks for this post. You reminded me of what I already knew but somehow forgot.

Being a parent doesn't fit into a tidy graph- no matter how hard we shove.

My daughter was slow to talk. Heck until she was ...

2006-12-12T18:51:23.620-08:00

My daughter was slow to talk. Heck until she was about 6-8 months old we thought maybe something was wrong. The only time she made noise of any kind is when she was crying (unless you count the constant state of rasberries she blew when she was happy). But she walked REALLY early, which was a pain. I think she was around 3 before her talking really took off. She's 13 now and I can't shut her up!

Dude. Who really WANTS their kid to speak, when it...

2006-12-12T18:38:09.513-08:00

Dude. Who really WANTS their kid to speak, when it comes right down to it? WonderBaby has mastered NO, and it's already driving me crazy.

Enjoooooy.

Be happy you don't live in New York. Speech thera...

2006-12-12T15:01:56.966-08:00

Be happy you don't live in New York. Speech therapy for little ones is so "in" over there that I couldn't help but think that the doctors were in cahoots with the speech therapists.

One mom told me that she had been worried about her 20 month old daughter, because she wasn't saying much. She took her in for hearing tests and the like, and was still a tad worried.

I asked her when she herself talked, and she said, "Well, my mother tells me it wasn't until I was over two years old."

"See? It's genetic! Before you know it, you'll be wishing she would just shuuut uuup!!" I said.

I'm so glad the mommy smiled. the next few times I talked with her, she seemed more relaxed about it, too.

Hold your head up high, madam. This looks like one happy, healthy kid, and the first full sentence outta his mouth will most likely be, "Don't WORRY so much, Mom!!!"

My 19 month old isn't saying a whole heck of a lot...

2006-12-12T13:41:11.566-08:00

My 19 month old isn't saying a whole heck of a lot compared to a lot of his peers. But guess what? He clearly understands everything we tell him and follows instructions. So we're not worried.

Your doctor sounds, well, less than helpful with his advice.

I couldn't agree with you more - my old boss had a...

2006-12-12T13:30:56.353-08:00

I couldn't agree with you more - my old boss had a son who rarely spoke until age 4; many doctors had suspected he was autistic but hell to the no...he just spoke when he was good and ready!

You know Archer better than anyone. Including his ...

2006-12-12T13:29:01.513-08:00

You know Archer better than anyone. Including his doc.

That said, It never does harm to see "someone" and I can emphathize deeply with this post. I remember having to go see "someone" when my daughter was 18 months because she was But in the end, I lived through it. My daughter won't even remember it and her ped got off my ass.

The flip side is also to follow your gut and see "someone" only if you think you need to. As I read through the chicken pox link I nearly died. I was VERY pregnant with my second when my first was due for that vaccine. I decline. My doc asked why. My response was that I have had the chicken pox TWICE and should she get it I was not about to be 1. hugely pregnant and risk getting them from her or 2. have a toddler and a new born with the chicken pox. I was given the "very unlikely" speech. I still said no and my doc looked at me if I was a certifiable loon.

im sry to say this, but the parents who lash out l...

2006-12-12T12:52:14.736-08:00

im sry to say this, but the parents who lash out like this are the ones with kids who are "behind"...then again what do i know? im thirteen

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