tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post422038311667855130..comments2008-07-16T00:16:37.779-07:00GIRL'S GONE CHILDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07130764109593048451noreply@blogger.comBlogger97125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-31096797681719695152008-07-16T00:16:00.000-07:002008-07-16T00:16:00.000-07:00Oh yeah - if you can afford a midwife they will do the advocating for you, I think. They didn't have those in the Navy for us. Just icky old fat men that liked to look in vaginas.Knit in the Northwesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01284063296659296703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-50548039131594658942008-07-16T00:13:00.000-07:002008-07-16T00:13:00.000-07:00I HAVE had a horrible experience like that. Get this, when I was trying to get pregnant, my doc (who happened to be the head doc at the hospital) told me that I should try kinky sex. He followed that up by saying "I don't know if your husband likes to lick your bottom, flip you over, and bang you from behind." Now I really truly hate being vulgar like that, but I have to put it out there that OBs (or any docs for that manner) can be really truly big ball-sucking dickheads. <BR/><BR/>Complain about the mother f-er. I did, and apparently I was like the 22nd to complain. The TWENTY-SECOND?! When did they stop and think they had a problem?! Complain, and do it in writing, so it goes in the bastards file. At least you will have something on him and you can chuckle about it. Oh man, I have to tell you about the doctor that had me caught in the speculum and didn't realize it.... SONOFABITCH.Knit in the Northwesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01284063296659296703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-38769395089764700642008-04-12T10:08:00.000-07:002008-04-12T10:08:00.000-07:00the only advice i have ... midwives, they actually know what they're doing when it comes to anything to do with childbearing.skylanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07588940455383678405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-40497845619215396562008-04-12T10:07:00.000-07:002008-04-12T10:07:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.skylanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07588940455383678405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-34185141427273961562008-03-26T11:42:00.000-07:002008-03-26T11:42:00.000-07:00Umm, no, you are definitely not being overly sensitive... this guy is le douche extraordinaire. I hope things start getting easier for you... the last thing you want is more stress. Dicktor is a genius. -_-<BR/><BR/>By the way, I'm about 5 weeks pregnant and already have an appointment set, so 'eager'? Please! hahaMorganhttp://mrspriss.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-79345521252386680962008-03-04T20:49:00.000-08:002008-03-04T20:49:00.000-08:00Another throwing in a "midwife" hint. Midwives generally are much more concerned for the woman's emotional needs as well as her medical ones...and a CNM's training rival's a doc's.<BR/><BR/>...and of course, being one, I would suggest looking into getting a doula as well :)<BR/><BR/>Midwives aren't all anti-hospital, anti-epidural. They're pro-woman, pro-individual. Pro-choice in childbirth.Kristinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18170096397537292209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-71421274228044265182008-03-01T12:00:00.000-08:002008-03-01T12:00:00.000-08:00Now I know: if someone should dare to shush (?!?) me during my first birth, I will find it soooo therapeutic to scream at them even louder: "YOU"RE FIRED! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!". <BR/><BR/>I'd rather bite off the umbilical myself than let an unappreciative dick -male or female- near me in those sacred moments. Wow. He must be reported, really. It's up to women (or our husbands) to enforce accountability in these cases. <BR/><BR/>My mother was actually tied down, her arms and legs - in a military hospital, by American 'doctors' and their response was that it was to protect the doctors from any *potential* flailing of limbs - during my birth and I've heard other women from that era, 1965, say it was a standard practice. WTF doesn't even cover THAT.june2noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-62521395886164684792008-02-29T05:22:00.000-08:002008-02-29T05:22:00.000-08:00DICK! DICK! DICK!<BR/><BR/>So glad you switched, R. Not overreacting in the least. I want to kick him in the face for you.Mom101http://www.blogger.com/profile/15468524489744839899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-20647936589487149452008-02-28T13:58:00.000-08:002008-02-28T13:58:00.000-08:00GAK! Although there are already 88 comments and this is TOTALLY OUTING me as a lurker, I've just gotta comment. <BR/><BR/>AND I'll be saying what everyone else has been saying:<BR/><BR/>But seriously...<BR/><BR/>I cannot understand why that OB is even in the business that he is in. It is sick - SICK, I'm telling you. Your alarm and disgust is completely warranted in a situation like this. He is the very definition of a TERRIBLE OB. Shushing during labor??? How DARE he! I'm serious, this man is the very reason why there are rabid homebirthers out there: they don't want to deal with vermin like him. And unfortunately, many have. I'm so sorry, GGC.<BR/><BR/>What a jackass. Please don't suffer for any reason - make the switch. As many people have said...pregnancy, labor, and delivery are way too precious to be wasted on drivel like him.<BR/><BR/>The nerve!<BR/><BR/>Finally, echoing what everyone else has said: FIND A GOOD MIDWIFE, be she CNM or CPM. You will see an entire world - solar system - universe of difference. Pre-natal visits that last 45-minutes to an hour, seeing someone that actually cares about you and the process you are going through, being SUPPORTED during labor instead of shushed.<BR/><BR/>I quit my OB after 32 weeks the first time around and switched to a CNM at a hospital: first off, I saw a different doc every visit, secondly - the OB I saw at 32 weeks nonchalantly told me that they'd "simply induce me" if the baby got too big, as if it were HER body, not MINE. The second time around, I went with a CPM in a homebirth (currently working on getting it covered by insurance). I must say, that experience even topped my CNM-attended hospital experience. Check out your options - you definitely have them.<BR/><BR/>Congratulations on your pregnancy! It is an unrivaled life-experience. Don't let a jackass destroy ANY of it for you.a. borealishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245824881587347498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-67106664391286355042008-02-28T12:33:00.000-08:002008-02-28T12:33:00.000-08:00i meant pay for archer to see your ped that you love even if he isn't "covered" by him this time around.<BR/><BR/>also, i wasn't sure what your case history required as far as the pre-eclampsia entailed if a midwife is in the cards or if, like me, you need the whole OBGYN/perinatologist route as we seem to this time (who knew?)<BR/><BR/>and we are totally looking into the traditional jewish circumcision route as well b/c even though we are christian, we honor the covenant and researched the hell out of topic and like the trad. way of doing it old school hemi-style vs. lopping the whole thing off by whomever happens to be on call that day. lucky for us our ped is orthodox and happy to do it a week after birth with topical anesthetic, etc. <BR/><BR/>so since i think most of my comments get deleted i just wanted to let you know i'm thrilled for you and mazel tov and the very best for a happy and healthy pregnancy.<BR/><BR/>pnuts mamaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-20267037166863366772008-02-28T12:22:00.000-08:002008-02-28T12:22:00.000-08:00hey girl-<BR/>i hope this comment doesn't get sucked away by the internet (most of the ones i leave you do!!)<BR/><BR/>i love the idea of switching docs for the next year and then switching back. worst case scenario you pay for archers 3 year well child? not the worst thing that could happen all things considered.<BR/><BR/>while i love the idea of a midwife and a birthing center, et al, in my case (somewhat similar to yours) since my first pregnancy resulted in pre eclampsia and preterm labor etc i'm not really allowed to have any of that- we are borderline 'high-risk' (as far as so far, so good, but won't be too surprised if anything changes) and are also having tons of sonos *with* a perinatologist (since 8 weeks! our ob wanted a baseline and steady track of progress, see if anything changes immediately) and bloodwork. she also sees us every 4 weeks (since 8 weeks along) and will up that shortly. fwiw, we love our ob, and were thrilled with her warmth, caring, professionalism and expertise (which we didn't realize we needed til he time came). so there are great OB's out there.<BR/><BR/>which isn't to alarm you, but to put your mind at ease in the sense of following your gut- you know how unhappy you were with this guy, and you owe it to yourself and your baby to find someone whom you are comfortable with and will treat you as a partner in the birth of your child, not a waste of his time.<BR/><BR/>pnuts mamaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-42589079242753912282008-02-28T12:13:00.000-08:002008-02-28T12:13:00.000-08:00Oh, also, depending on income level you might qualify for the California programs AIM and Healthy Families.Ewokmamahttp://ewokmama.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-44136140030053862532008-02-28T10:13:00.000-08:002008-02-28T10:13:00.000-08:00You know, some doctors have a horrible bedside manner, but are terrific doctors, and some just suck at life. You have the later apparently. I'd dump his ass. Is there another OB at his practice so that you don't have to uproot your entire medical life? I guess I don't understand why you can't choose your own OB and still keep Archer's ped? <BR/><BR/>Have you looked into getting a midwife? I don't have children of my own yet - but that is definitely a direction that I would like to go in. I love that it makes the childbearing process more personal. <BR/><BR/>BTW - I'm a long time reader, and I have yet to wish you congratulations!!!!Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00714530932538896593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-12129029355234499792008-02-28T09:41:00.000-08:002008-02-28T09:41:00.000-08:00This makes me so angry I want to cry, or punch something. Or both.<BR/><BR/>The episiotomy adn botched circ are reason enough to dump this doc--"childbirth expierience" aside, this is your BODY, and your child's body, and FUCK anyone who's going to hurt you or make you feel like shit. Now I'm all pissed off on your behalf. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this man?<BR/><BR/>I'd contribute to the GGC midwfe fund in a heartbeat.Baby in Broadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00084772004964983968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-9794196314677121262008-02-28T09:39:00.000-08:002008-02-28T09:39:00.000-08:00Hey I loved green's idea ... have someone set up a "midwife fund" instead of a baby shower this time around. Love it!!!Amynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-548874632702575922008-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:002008-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00WOW! I don't know if you will get to reading this and it sounds like you have a plan after skimming through your comments but I just did this. (Stuck with a doc I wasn't pleased with for a second pregnancy). I am very much in your situation. My husband and I are both self employed so I fully understand your insurance woes. I did exactly what your last anon. commenter suggested. I sucked it up and fought back. I didn't hesitate to correct my doctor. If we disagreed on care I armed myself with research made my own decisions regarding my maternal care and stuck to my guns. Even if it meant repeating myself 100 times and crying in my car once I left the office. It is NOT EASY and it totally stressed me the fuck out so I give you that warning but you can stand up to that prick. <BR/><BR/>HUGS! And I hope the ultrasound goes well today!Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06431210699000945731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-34857166286920160202008-02-28T08:31:00.000-08:002008-02-28T08:31:00.000-08:00Of course you should change if you can, but the world is not always a perfect place. I'm going to go out on a completely different limb here. This is my last-ditch-can't-escape-the-hell-or-afford-an-alternative advice, to be used in an emergency. <BR/><BR/>Stand up to the motherfucker. He says he remembers you bigger? Then say, Hm. I remembered you as thinner. He says you're eager to get into the doctor at seven weeks? Say that when you called for the appointment, you weren't told to wait--they got you right in, and if his policy is different--that he should be seeing patients later, then he needs to educate his staff as such. Don't take his bullshit!<BR/><BR/>And read up on malpractice/breach of ethics violations. Don't hesitate to write him up if necessary. He might be walking a fine line between "bad bedside manner" and "booted out of the AMA". But know your legal rights. Maybe drop a line like, Are you sure those comments are appropriate? <BR/><BR/>If all else fails and you can't change soon, see if you can take a girlfriend with you to the appointments--even if it means having her in the room while he looks at your lady business. If he asks why the friend is there, say, "Oh she's my chaperone,"--that's the term my OBs have used for the nurse who comes in while they do exams. It'll make him think twice about what he says if you've got a witness there. And make sure you pick a friend who'll help you be your badass self.<BR/><BR/>I might suggest having Hal there, but it might be more empowering if it's a female friend--the last thing you want is for him to talk to Hal like you're not even in the room. <BR/><BR/>Don't take this shit lying down. I don't want you to feel like you'll be setting yourself up for substandard treatment if you stand up to him, but let him know (if you are indeed truly stuck) that you'll be taking action if necessary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-50569918738580772042008-02-28T08:16:00.000-08:002008-02-28T08:16:00.000-08:00Is there any way to go the midwife or CNM route?Mariahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13783085707283000645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-49645030109139931072008-02-27T22:16:00.000-08:002008-02-27T22:16:00.000-08:00DONT BE A DICK!<BR/><BR/>DITCH THE DOUCHE!!<BR/><BR/>that doc is all talk, no cock.<BR/>speaking of cocks, how's archer's circ? <BR/><BR/>you have the shortest memory of all time, rebecca. call the pediatrician. tell him your problem. see if he/she has any ideas or recommendations for staying within the group, but losing the assjockey.<BR/><BR/>get your head on. fuck that asshole. this is the next year of MY life we are talking about, and i'm not going to spend it listening to how this anal probe fucked you again. <BR/><BR/>fire him. but not before you print out this, and the fucked circ-job post you made about him and give that to him with his "your fired, dr. dickholio"<BR/><BR/>unacceptable.yer mama, bmcnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-31738905812404598602008-02-27T21:47:00.000-08:002008-02-27T21:47:00.000-08:00hey, im a new reader and loving your blog. i really appreciate your honesty and tolerance. lovely!<BR/><BR/>now, dr dick:<BR/>it is inappropriate in so many ways to have a doctor comment on your body size - in a "body beautiful" kind of way. get the hell away from this doctor. you're having a baby! this is a wonderful time! <BR/><BR/>good luck with the insurance - i have heard that if there's no one listed, you can choose whomever you want and they have to cover it. grapevine news.<BR/><BR/>i had a midwife team and loved it. had both of my kids at home. <BR/><BR/>whatever you do, get AWAY from this guy. he is a prick.<BR/><BR/>- sarahkpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-17972298519256241912008-02-27T20:33:00.000-08:002008-02-27T20:33:00.000-08:00You are not being sensitive- CHANGE. You deserve a beautiful birth that a great doc or midwife can help you to have. Please change- then change back to get back to the ped. you like. I had my baby boy at home, and it was BEAUTIFUL.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-68640900198622874862008-02-27T17:05:00.000-08:002008-02-27T17:05:00.000-08:00No, you are NOT overreacting. This is absolutely ridiculous behaviour on the part of a doctor. Is there seriously no way you can get a new OB/GYN without changing your child's pediatrician? That just sucks, but I have to tell you, I think after your description of this visit (he thinks it's too early to come at almost TWO MONTHS? Unbelievable!), it would be the last time I would set foot in that office. <BR/><BR/>I have been through three GYNs in the last five or six years... this last one, I LOVE. She is kind, she actually LISTENS, and she is willing to do what I ask... basically, she treats me like a human being. You deserve that, too.Actorgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15295187029389774381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-11382103645756029602008-02-27T14:22:00.000-08:002008-02-27T14:22:00.000-08:00You guys are super awesome helpful. I'm getting to the bottom of this now. Changing plans, trying to find a midwife covered by insurance. I'll blog about it all later when I get this shit sorted.<BR/><BR/>Re: circumcision. It's a family matter for us and next time around we would def have a mohel perform the procedure (and do a full-on bris) ... We're raising Archer Jewish and it's a lot more complicated than just "looking like his dad"... Personally, I would rather not circumcise but like I said, it's a family decision and I really don't want to go into it any more than that. Appreciate everyone's concern, though and totally respect the anti-circ folks. Word. <BR/><BR/>Again, thank you. It's unreal how many people have had dickfarms for doctors. Makes me want to punch some face in.GIRL'S GONE CHILDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07130764109593048451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-90692260073900362882008-02-27T14:20:00.000-08:002008-02-27T14:20:00.000-08:00i would definitely have grabbed for his delicate parts if he had shushed me, dammit! one nurse told me to make lower noises (i guess i was kind of screeching while pushing)...lower!!! LOWER! she screamed....<BR/>"UNNGHHHRRRRRSHUUTTTTTTUPPPPPunnggHHHRRRRRR" I growled at her.<BR/><BR/>"YES!!! BEAUTIFUL!!! LIKE THAT!!"she praised me.<BR/><BR/>i loved her.gwendomamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08439664476465264089noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-12237879949559525362008-02-27T14:07:00.000-08:002008-02-27T14:07:00.000-08:00first off: congrats!<BR/><BR/>second: you are putting your life and the life of your unborn child in the hands of this person. you need someone you trust and that isn't a nazi. find a new doc pronto.shelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13494945310121919688noreply@blogger.com