Comments on Girl's Gone Child: Adventures in Thai Massage With Uncle Frank

Trust me, you made the right decision not to do th...

2008-07-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

Trust me, you made the right decision not to do the naked massage thing. A Colorado hotel where my hubby and I stayed a few years ago comped us with a couples massage. We are very uptight, WASP-y people. It's astonishing that we were able to have three children considering our extreme modesty. So there we were with this very large pushy Russian lady who started grabbing at my hubby's pants and yelling at him to "take clothes off!" I fled and he joined me shortly afterwards, blushing furiously. The massage woman followed us out of the spa and into the lobby, yelling, "is sen-shoe-all! Not dirty!" I cringe just thinking about it.

Fabulous story! Simply Fabulous!!

2008-07-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Fabulous story! Simply Fabulous!!

oh my god that was funny. so many types of awesom...

2008-07-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

oh my god that was funny. so many types of awesome all in one post. uncle frank can be my fake uncle any day. (i'll even go for a couples massage with him... haha)

Hm... latest pics of Uncle Frank? Shit -- I think ...

2008-07-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

Hm... latest pics of Uncle Frank? Shit -- I think the latest pics I have are from my book party:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/girlsgonechild/2391096723/in/set-72157604407781563/

I'm fairly new here....but OMG that was frieki...

2008-07-24T15:49:00.000-07:00

I'm fairly new here....but OMG that was frieking HILARIOUS! I can just imagine what your poor date was thinking "What the %$#&?!" Ha! You can't make this stuff up!

And where be new pictures of the handsome Uncle Fr...

2008-07-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

And where be new pictures of the handsome Uncle Frank for us to admire?

Oh my god, I'm rolling here! "What, no happy endi...

2008-07-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, I'm rolling here! "What, no happy ending?" Awesome awesome awesome.

That's the funniest stuff I've read in a while...t...

2008-07-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

That's the funniest stuff I've read in a while...thanks for the laughs!
And, you sure redefined the happy ending to a massage. Someone as fabulous as Frank, is crazy about you and treats you to Thai massage. Your cup runneth over!
p.s. I loved the video of you and Frank shopping the first time you showed it, and I was still laughing through it the 2nd time around! He's a doll!

Uncle Frank sounds completely awesome! And I have...

2008-07-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Uncle Frank sounds completely awesome! And I have to say that "Hi, my name is AWKWARD and I watch gay porn with my husband I've failed to mention!" is the funniest thing I have read all day. Thanks for the laugh!

Yeeesss! You made my day, GGC. I am still cracki...

2008-07-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yeeesss! You made my day, GGC. I am still cracking up ...

Could you tell Uncle Frank to tell his nice celeb...

2008-07-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

Could you tell Uncle Frank to tell his nice celebrity frinds to head south the next time they're feeling so generous? There are fabulous people here who desperately need better transportation..free better transportation.

Is this Uncle Frank of your's the same Frank that ...

2008-07-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

Is this Uncle Frank of your's the same Frank that was on Clean House? I could swear he was just on my tv screen last night. He IS fabulous!

That is fantastic! Everyone should have a friend-h...

2008-07-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

That is fantastic! Everyone should have a friend-husband like that. And a massage, for that matter. hmmm.

Okay, I've just clarified the uncle thing. And so ...

2008-07-24T08:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've just clarified the uncle thing. And so has Jaelithe. (Thank you. Jaelithe)

He's ARCHER'S Uncle. Honorary Uncle. That's why sh...

2008-07-24T08:39:00.000-07:00

He's ARCHER'S Uncle. Honorary Uncle. That's why she calls him Uncle Frank.

Also, I agree with Ashley that "Hi, my name is AWKWARD and I watch gay porn with my husband I've failed to mention" is the best line EVAH in the history of blog posts. Or at least the best line by you this month.

Seriously, I didn't take the time to click on the ...

2008-07-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I didn't take the time to click on the link, and I was really thinking this was your real uncle until I read that you used to be roommates. I was extrememly disturbed/confused at your reactions up until I decided Uncle Frank couldn't be your real uncle. Shew! I was having my doubts about you!!

When I went on my honeymoon cruise with my husband...

2008-07-24T06:43:00.000-07:00

When I went on my honeymoon cruise with my husband, I splurged on a massage. I was already kind of nervous because everyone who worked there was South African and gorgeous and 18. These lanky modelwomen take me to the back into this cedar-lined room and they're like, okay, you can disrobe.

And on the other table in the room this dude is looking at me with a mix of "hell yeah" and "uh..." on his face.

I get all shaky because I'm a dweeb and I secretly can't deal with confrontation.

"Excuse me," I say politely, "I'm not really comfortable having this massage with another man in the room?"

The guy seconds my opinion half-heartedly.

The chick says something like "Don't worry, this is how the couple's massage works."

Booking receptionist: FAIL.

"Hi, my name is AWKWARD and I watch gay porn with ...

2008-07-23T21:48:00.000-07:00

"Hi, my name is AWKWARD and I watch gay porn with my husband I've failed to mention!"

Laughing, laughing, still laughing.

I miss having gay boys around. I need a Frank.

2008-07-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

I miss having gay boys around. I need a Frank.

Dear Uncle Frank,

You are fabulous and need...

2008-07-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Uncle Frank,

You are fabulous and need to move to North Carolina.

Oh and Carabee, you're comment is classic.

2008-07-23T19:24:00.000-07:00

Oh and Carabee, you're comment is classic.

Ah, yes, Prescott. The preggo-massage is unlike yo...

2008-07-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes, Prescott. The preggo-massage is unlike your standard, lie-on-stomach massage for obvious reasons. You pretty much lie on your side and are rubbed like so... and then a flip on the other side... Also, there's a lot of feet rubbing and lower back, hip kneading. But it's funny because halfway through, Frank's like "Hey, Bec? Is your masseuse walking on your back, too?" Ha! He didn't get it, either.

First: I clicked on this in my rss reader thinking...

2008-07-23T19:17:00.000-07:00

First: I clicked on this in my rss reader thinking I was clicking on another writer's blog and that it really was HER uncle Frank. I was like: Hmmm this is really unlike so-and-so ... blink. blink. blink. hmmmm.

Now I'm laughing twice.

Secondly: I wish I had a gay bff who make the baby and takes me for Thai massages. just sayin'

Am I the only dumbass here wondering about the phy...

2008-07-23T19:14:00.000-07:00

Am I the only dumbass here wondering about the physicality of performing a full body massage on a pregnant woman? It may have something to do with the fact that I've never had one...

I had a massage when I was 6 months pregnant and i...

2008-07-23T18:40:00.000-07:00

I had a massage when I was 6 months pregnant and it was AWESOME. That is one great friend to take you out for one.

I've always been a little worried about THOSE kinds of massage parlors, the non spa type, where happy endings are the norm (at least in my mind). My luck, the day I went there would be a police raid and I'd be all, "I swear I'm just here for a massage" and the cops would be all "yeah, right, no one just comes for a massage" and then I'd be all over the news, they'd take away my child, I wouldn't be able to find work and I'd wind up on the street turning tricks to support my crack habit. It could happen.

Comments on Girl's Gone Child: Adventures in Thai Massage With Uncle Frank

Trust me, you made the right decision not to do th...

Fabulous story! Simply Fabulous!!

oh my god that was funny. so many types of awesom...

Hm... latest pics of Uncle Frank? Shit -- I think ...

I'm fairly new here....but OMG that was frieki...

And where be new pictures of the handsome Uncle Fr...

Oh my god, I'm rolling here! "What, no happy endi...

That's the funniest stuff I've read in a while...t...

Uncle Frank sounds completely awesome! And I have...

Yeeesss! You made my day, GGC. I am still cracki...

Could you tell Uncle Frank to tell his nice celeb...

Is this Uncle Frank of your's the same Frank that ...

That is fantastic! Everyone should have a friend-h...

Okay, I've just clarified the uncle thing. And so ...

He's ARCHER'S Uncle. Honorary Uncle. That's why sh...

Seriously, I didn't take the time to click on the ...

When I went on my honeymoon cruise with my husband...

"Hi, my name is AWKWARD and I watch gay porn with ...

I miss having gay boys around. I need a Frank.

Dear Uncle Frank,You are fabulous and need...

Oh and Carabee, you're comment is classic.

Ah, yes, Prescott. The preggo-massage is unlike yo...

First: I clicked on this in my rss reader thinking...

Am I the only dumbass here wondering about the phy...

I had a massage when I was 6 months pregnant and i...

Dear Uncle Frank,

You are fabulous and need...