tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post6856646459887844258..comments2023-11-02T07:53:45.876-07:00Comments on Girl's Gone Child: Judgement DayGIRL'S GONE CHILDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07130764109593048451noreply@blogger.comBlogger123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-39366939927775874402009-03-14T17:56:00.000-07:002009-03-14T17:56:00.000-07:00Thanks for the momversation. I fear for Nadya. She...Thanks for the momversation. <BR/><BR/>I fear for Nadya. She must be feeling vulnerable and instead of sending good vibes her way she is getting an onslaught of hate and judgment. I have friends who come from families of 14, 15, 16, even 17 kids (I live in Utah). Growing up the kids help and rely on each other. I am jealous of the built in support system! <BR/><BR/>That was a good point about not knowing where our tax money goes. I would much rather my taxes go to Nadya than all of the idiotic things they pay for (war, indutrial farming subsidies, etc.)<BR/><BR/>Thanks for promoting non-judgement on mothers.GrittyPrettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17303584645383006594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-43084429167195391012009-03-05T21:53:00.000-08:002009-03-05T21:53:00.000-08:00I think you ladies are nuts!I'm a big fan of you a...I think you ladies are nuts!<BR/>I'm a big fan of you all. I'm as open mined as the next guy. I stumped hard for Obama and against Prop 8. I believe that for the most part people can do whatever they want. (For the most part.) I'm a progressive liberal.<BR/><BR/>Here's the bottom line. If look at this ladies and don't immediately think she certifiably nuts, then you're living in denial in a effort to cling too tightly to your liberalism. All your hedging and rationalizing and dancing around the subject are born from the your fears that any concession to the liberal platform somehow invalidates your whole belief system. Conservatives do the same thing, sadly. That's why were such an all or nothing country, politically.<BR/><BR/>This octo-mom is freaking nuts. Period. No discussion. You all know it. Everyone knows it. She didn't even take care of the six kids she already had, so she decide to add eight babies to the mix? Please. <BR/><BR/>Too often these days we like to dance around issues and realities. This case calls for some good old fashioned common sense diagnoses like: Stupid, Crazy and Grossly Negligent. <BR/><BR/>You ladies really whiffed on this one.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and the extra arm analogy was poor, too. If someone wants four arms, fine, go for it. It may be weird, but it only effects that person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-79679219741292067522009-03-03T21:57:00.000-08:002009-03-03T21:57:00.000-08:00Heather: about your proposed "questionnaire" - ...Heather: about your proposed "questionnaire" - although the idea certainly couldn't hurt, you do not have to own a home to be a good parent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-57562957274699553832009-03-02T17:24:00.000-08:002009-03-02T17:24:00.000-08:00Sticky situation! I think if anything, this should...Sticky situation! I think if anything, this should cause facilities that give this sort of service a wake up call and be more aware of what they are doing with their patients. I mean...is it just me or...I feel like I went through more screening when I adopted a couple of cats from the local animal rescue than this women did at this clinic. Hello-- I mean, shouldnt there been a questionairre that asked "are you employed? Do you own a home? How many children are currently under your care?" It seems like she should have been turned down from the get-go.<BR/>And while i know it is the pc thing to say "women dont need a man! I can do it on my own!" the truth is...having someone else there who loves the child and cares for the child and wants to raise it and care for it throughout its life...is priceless. I am just astounded that there are now 14 little lives hanging in the balance here. That should be the bottome line.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01162985502341523594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-12386757145314740082009-03-01T23:38:00.000-08:002009-03-01T23:38:00.000-08:00I read most of the comments but couldn't finish, i...I read most of the comments but couldn't finish, it was taking SO LONG!<BR/><BR/>Here's my $.02. <BR/><BR/>I am one of the most judgmental people I know. So much so that I'm judging all the commenters who were judging Nadya. This isn't to say that I haven't judged Nadya myself. Sure I have. But...<BR/><BR/>I honestly, really and truly, believe that she has problems. We all do, right. But this is more. And saying this is the one time I'm NOT judging. There are many illnesses in the world. Some physical, some mental. I think she is sick. I don't say this with anger, as one might when speaking of a child molester. I just say it, as a statement. A fact. I would say it to her face, but people who are mentally ill and undiagnosed don't usually see it themselves. She would probably get angry/defensive. It may hurt her feelings. I probably wouldn't say it, unless I knew her really well. <BR/>When I think of her, I feel sad. For the babies, sure. Definitely. But also for her. For someone to be that lonely, that empty and lacking, that in need of friendship, support, positive regard from other humans, that they would attempt to remedy it with children, is just very, very sad, whether they have 1 child or 41. I wonder what happened in her life. I don't know her, her history, what her own parents are really like, but from what I can see on the surface, she loves all 14 of her own children far more than she was loved as a child. They will, at the very least, grow up knowing that, I'm sure she will make sure of it. Somehow. <BR/>I hope she gets the help she needs. I hope people reach out positively, and she's able to build connections, so that she can keep her children. And I hope she gets help for her own, deeper issues as well. The underlying reasons for the choices she made. Otherwise, unfortunately, even if she is able to raise all of her children to adulthood, she will come to a point when she is faced with the reality- children grow up, move out, get on with their lives. They can't completely fill the void that she feels. They can't assuage her loneliness.<BR/>All my rambling really amounts to just the simple fact that almost everything about this situation makes me sad. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, on with my judgments, this time of myself. <BR/>I let my not-yet 3 year old watch far more TV than I'm usually willing to admit. Like at least 2 things everyday. Often more. I also feed let her eat fruit snacks daily. And I yell at her too much. I use disposable diapers with my second kid even though I swore I never would. I still give her a bottle at night even though she's past her 1st birthday, and sometimes I just give it to her in her bed so I can go back to sleep. <BR/><BR/>my comment is WAY too long. Sorry.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-306638101125733692009-03-01T20:20:00.000-08:002009-03-01T20:20:00.000-08:00I feel that the children will suffer--a lot--as a ...I feel that the children will suffer--a lot--as a result of this decision. Love goes a long way but doesn't fill tummies, or send you to college. I also worry that with 14 kids, at least 12 will get lost in the shuffle. <BR/><BR/>--I forced: FORCED: my son to do something that he was totally scared of, in public, reducing him to screams and sobs. He did it, and we're both glad, but I think I might have been cruel or power tripping and I wonder if I shouldn't have just let him have his way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-22851092909417863352009-02-27T13:43:00.000-08:002009-02-27T13:43:00.000-08:00Perfect example of why the government steps in and...Perfect example of why the government steps in and butts their noses into our business...Yes, it's wonderful that we have reproductive "rights" in this country. But then along comes someone who obviously lacks good sense, having 14 kids that she can't support without handouts, to give people second thoughts...sort of like cell phone legislation...everyone KNOWS that talking on a cell phone while driving increases your odds of being involved in an accident, yet if it isn't strictly illegal, people do it all the time! My point being, when people lack good sense within the confines of a right or law, that's an invitation for government or other busy-body intervention. If people would just use their brains and exercise some self-control and stop being concerned only about their desires and the heck with everyone else (oh, except for their money), we would be a lot better off and enjoy more freedoms. Oh, and for my imperfect-mom confession, I've yelled at my son, and let him eat junk food.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-13196493476680196812009-02-27T05:51:00.000-08:002009-02-27T05:51:00.000-08:00I got bored half way thru the comments so don't kn...I got bored half way thru the comments so don't know if this was pointed out. But how the hell can she even afford IVF? Let alone all teh plastic surgery she has had. And isn't creepy that she looks like Angelina Jolie? And yes we should judge. Judgement gets a bad wrap. And last I heard there are rules/guidelines on the books in regard to how many embryos can/should be implanrd at a time but that most docs ignore them. <BR/><BR/>When talking about reproductive rights I think you need to seperate the 'natural' from the 'scientific'. Just becasue it's possible does not mean it should be done. I'm all or abortion. The more the better. This planet is dying from over population as it is.<BR/><BR/>And yeah, I'd say all thisto her face. with ut one second thought.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-36817503395238145742009-02-26T12:16:00.000-08:002009-02-26T12:16:00.000-08:00She's a human not a dog. Why the fuck would you w...She's a human not a dog. Why the fuck would you want 8 kids at once? That is completely crazy. I'm judgey judgemental, don't care. I don't see selective abortion as murder.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-7810825942804857662009-02-26T11:17:00.000-08:002009-02-26T11:17:00.000-08:00But Katy....it might be insinuated to YOU or anyon...But Katy....it might be insinuated to YOU or anyone else but go back and read my comment: I TOLD you (briefly) what I think on the issue. Geez. TOTALLY off topic now on the comments section of someone else's blog LOL Moooooving on...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-105822744022612322009-02-26T08:39:00.000-08:002009-02-26T08:39:00.000-08:00De- lurking myself here....i have been reading for...De- lurking myself here....i have been reading for weeks and finally got to the new stuff.<BR/><BR/>My whole issue with "octomom" is the fact that we all know that her children are not going to get the one on one time that they need with their mom. She will have 8 newborns and several (well more than one i think) children with disablities....it's just not possible. I don't feel sorry for her, i feel sorry for the kids. And i worry about her coping with the pressure of it all. Sleep will not come easy for her in this house and i'm afraid of what might happen in a fit of sleep deprived rage....we all know that tiny things can set you off when you are sleep deprived...with most people it's a outburst and you are over it and you feel horrible (coming from someone who confesses screaming at her newborn daughter b/c SHE wouldn't stop screaming, damn acid reflux....) but will she be able to hold it together with 14 kids? She seems a little unstable as it is...it just makes me worry.<BR/><BR/>Ok confession time for me....my 4 year old daughter (the one i yelled at...love her, it was a bad day that week...lol) still sleeps in our bed most nights, eats pasta at least 2 nights a week (high protein varitey, but COME ON!!) and watches WAYYYYY to much TV. But she speaks better spanish than i do and her preschool teachers think she's the best thing since Play_Doh, she's NEVER (no joke) gotten in trouble at school either. My 8 year old son is already planning what tattoo's he wants to get when he turns 18 (i have 2....), we regularly bribe him with video game time and he LOVES WWE wrestling (i have the violence....sigh) BUT he is a gifted student and currently 2nd in his class, you win some and you lose some!!Colehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06270656315799926117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-89042913022077160262009-02-26T08:13:00.000-08:002009-02-26T08:13:00.000-08:00I started to write a long long comment but decided...I started to write a long long comment but decided to just write my own post: http://bodhibaby.blogspot.com/2009/02/grey.html<BR/><BR/>Thanks for bringing out the complexities in the issue.Indigo Childrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14308293750564309399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-43053777122810406292009-02-26T06:55:00.000-08:002009-02-26T06:55:00.000-08:00Being Pro-Life insinuates that you believe that Ab...Being Pro-Life insinuates that you believe that Abortion should be illegal. In making Abortion illegal, the Government is then forcing a woman who would choose to terminate her pregnancy, have a child. <BR/><BR/>You can't have it just one way, Mirinda.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137320441798593969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-33442843972068651292009-02-25T22:35:00.000-08:002009-02-25T22:35:00.000-08:00unmarried or not.wealthy or poor.these kids needL ...unmarried or not.<BR/>wealthy or poor.<BR/>these kids need<BR/>L O V E<BR/>no media<BR/><BR/>they will have many development issues growing up that has not even been brought up.<BR/>even just glasses are HUGE on on a little child.<BR/>i respect you for keeping your comments open...<BR/>as you will still hear both sides.<BR/>xoxo bec.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-36511408556276120532009-02-25T21:01:00.000-08:002009-02-25T21:01:00.000-08:00It might not be right, but I judge her. I judge an...It might not be right, but I judge her. I judge anyone who purposely has children she cannot afford. When you can't provide the basics for their survival -- housing, clothing, food, medical care -- you should not have children, imo. And that doesn't even address the question of how she will physically care for 14 children, eight of them the same age, and many of them with health problems. It was an incredibly irresponsible decision made by her and her doctor, and yes, I judge them both negatively for that decision. <BR/><BR/>I'm far from a perfect parent. One of my things is I spend a pathetically large amount of time sitting at this damned computer, time that could/should be spent with my kids.S.T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06609421452596422823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-67541522606674288822009-02-25T19:19:00.000-08:002009-02-25T19:19:00.000-08:00http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/02/octo...http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/02/octomom-erupts-video-showdown-with-her-mom-over-babies.phpamyinbchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01633627179582112435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-89379553750635061242009-02-25T17:01:00.000-08:002009-02-25T17:01:00.000-08:00But Katy, it is valid. I'm Pro Life but never said...But Katy, it is valid. I'm Pro Life but never said I think our government should force a woman to have a baby, did I? No. But I can sure as heck try and convince her to do so without the government making a law for it. So unless you want my number and we can discuss for an hour or two I really can't tell you ALL my thoughts on the each issue, can I? :)<BR/><BR/>And I never said your point wasn't valid because you are not a mother. What I actually said is that AS a mother/parent it gives you a different perspective...on a lot of things, actually. Doesn't make your point invalid it's just coming from a different perspective than mine, as a parent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-80276601546387899322009-02-25T15:17:00.000-08:002009-02-25T15:17:00.000-08:00Rebecca, I love your compassion. You are so consis...Rebecca, I love your compassion. You are so consistent and I love that. Thanks for this post. I was so hoping that Oprah would shell out the money yesterday when Nadya's dad was on the show just so those babies and kids could try to have a better life. Poof! Problems be gone. ;-) Living in LA, I have wanted to go over to the Suleman's house and volunteer some time holding the babies (or something!) when they come home from the hospital. Hope you are your little family are doing well! :-)Karen, Scott, and Jaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02664282867847917145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-45175985715525898002009-02-25T13:35:00.000-08:002009-02-25T13:35:00.000-08:00I won't judge her. I am a single mom with two bea...I won't judge her. I am a single mom with two beautiful girls from IVF. I had 4 embryos implanted and my MD told me there was a less than 10% chance I would even be blessed with one baby, let alone multiples. If I had four actual develop, I would have dealt with it but am glad to have come out with two wonderful girls. Who knows what she was told and who knows the decision process she took to get there (not to mention the crazy chance that two embryos would split and she'd end up with 8 babies!!) <BR/><BR/>I am sorry she has 14 children to take care of and pray she gets the help she needs to take care of them emotionally, spiritually, and , yes, financially. There are 14 souls to nurture and develop. I hope everyone remembers those children first.<BR/><BR/>Quite a topic!<BR/><BR/>AndreaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-42694047154766989292009-02-25T13:17:00.000-08:002009-02-25T13:17:00.000-08:00people keep mentioning that it used to be common t...people keep mentioning that it used to be common to have 12-14 kids, but hello! the mortality rate was so much higher, and kids were often workers- on whatever family farm or business was keeping the food on the table. Parents needed to have kids to work, children were once married off for dowries or to make various connections between families which largely benefited the parents. Let's just remember that those were very very different times and children were often seen as property and sometimes an investment. Additionally birth control was not always an option!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-60369591650502429752009-02-25T11:42:00.000-08:002009-02-25T11:42:00.000-08:00I'm not adding my two cents. I just want to say th...I'm not adding my two cents. I just want to say that I think you handled the subject brilliantly!Heza Hekelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16521747190274748084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-87863446532283883142009-02-25T10:56:00.000-08:002009-02-25T10:56:00.000-08:00Mirinda, To state that you are against the governm...Mirinda, <BR/><BR/>To state that you are against the government regulating how many children a woman can or cannot have, and then stating that you are pro-life, is pretty hypocritical. So, you don't want the government to not let women have babies, but you want them to make women who don't want babies, have them? <BR/><BR/>Right. <BR/><BR/>It totally invalidates any point you are trying to make. <BR/><BR/>Also, just because I am not a mother, doesn't make my point invalid. I am a member of this society and I am affected by bad parenting decisions and bad parents just as much as people with children. I have a tendency not to feel too sorry for people who make decisions to put themselves into certain situations, such as Nadya Suleman. <BR/><BR/>I don't think the government should regulate a woman's reproductive rights at all, and I never claimed to. I do see this woman as financially, emotionally and logistically unable to care for 14 children. So do her parents, who are caring for the six that are at home right now. <BR/><BR/>If a woman is unable to care and provide (AND NO LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH)for her children, her children should be placed in stable environments until she is able to care for them, by herself. I feel terribly for these children. They are a result of selfish, crazy, greed. They are going to pay the rest of their lives for the poor decisions their mother made, and I think that is awful.<BR/><BR/>With all the people in the world who are so desperate to have their own children, who can't, who wait desperately for an adoption to finally go through..... It's just horrible that this woman and her doctor did this.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137320441798593969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-71692836726452195422009-02-25T10:27:00.000-08:002009-02-25T10:27:00.000-08:00You know, if she was right in front of me I would ...You know, if she was right in front of me I would have many questions for her, and I would want to make sure she understood the ramifications of her actions. First up would be "What were you thinking? I mean really? Do you SEE how some people might interpret your behavior as selfish, or abnormal, or frightening?" <BR/><BR/>Then, I would say, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe that you can take care of all of these children, and do you feel that the people of California should feel good about supporting your family if not? Do you understand how some people might be put off by this?<BR/><BR/>I don't feel sorry for her in the slightest. I don't feel like she was taken advantage of--she knew perfectly well what she was doing. I DO feel INCREDIBLY sorry for her children, whose lives aren't going to be easy, through no fault of their own. And you know what? I bet a lot of those California taxpayers--myself included--wouldn't feel so angry about the possibility of supporting Nadya and her brood if she spoke out with even one IOTA of remorse or understanding for the burden she will place on a state that can't even afford to fund its schools. If she even said "I know this will be difficult, and I am sorry for that--but please look at these beautiful children, and I will do whatever I can to help out." That's all she needs to say! But instead she comes off as clueless and greedy--at best. It's very sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-45501217023834407642009-02-25T09:19:00.000-08:002009-02-25T09:19:00.000-08:00oops... i meant "accusatory" not accusations. Th...oops... i meant "accusatory" not accusations. Third sentence in.JessicaTodayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11003706473725463768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18751784.post-51589384889557718362009-02-25T09:17:00.000-08:002009-02-25T09:17:00.000-08:00Mirinda: I totally agree with you.As a student wo...Mirinda: I totally agree with you.<BR/>As a student working on her degree to go into the family services/human services sector I think its insane for anyone on the outside to make any sort of judgment call on a families behalf. To say things like "she should have her kids taken away" How can people be so accusations? How would they feel if someone on the outside of their world caught a skewed glance at their parenting abilities and said "take her kids away"! If you are not her case worker, you don't know what you are talking about. All you know is what the mass media is telling you to think. You are getting edited interviews and slanted portraits of who this woman is. You do not have the right to make a judgment call about her life no matter how much you are telling yourself "its for the children". Children need their mother. Just because she is not perfect does not mean she shouldn't have her children. Just because she hasn't made the decisions that are OK with society doesn't mean she should have her reproductive rights yanked. Its sick and sad how quick people are to put themselves in the position to tell someone else what to do with their family. Its ridiculous. You cannot know all the details unless you have all the facts. And like you said, its not our job its her social workers. So let the people who have the degrees and resources and experience evaluate this woman who is being unjustly strung up and set on fire by our society.JessicaTodayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11003706473725463768noreply@blogger.com