Comments on Girl's Gone Child: Brothers and Sisters

I love this. It got me a little choked up thinking...

2010-09-09T15:21:53.331-07:00

I love this. It got me a little choked up thinking about my relationship with my siblings. Like you, I remember horrible things I said to them many years ago and wish I could take it all back. Thanks for reminding me of how thankful I am for them.

This is the most beautiful thing I read in years. ...

2010-02-01T06:15:20.272-08:00

This is the most beautiful thing I read in years.
Thank you for that.

he kills me the way he calls her fable-a. he loves...

2010-01-13T20:27:16.490-08:00

he kills me the way he calls her fable-a. he loves her muchly & you and hal are doing such a great job nurturing them wholly in the way they need to be nurtured & taught. they can only glean from us what they will. we can't force it.

my relationship with my own siblings (older sister & younger brother) has changed much over the years. my sister & i have had a tumultuous reationship that has gotten better with distance, age & us becoming parents. my brother is still working on it.

@Mox - after I read your comment I had to jump to ...

2010-01-12T10:16:16.035-08:00

@Mox - after I read your comment I had to jump to the end and comment as well. I am in the same situation as you, although today is not his bday. I, too, feel horrible. I was so mean to him growing up. Ugh. If I decide to have children, "conflict resolution" will be a big theme in our house. Sigh. I guess, if it helps, I am in the same boat as you....

This is your best piece yet. Maybe because I am t...

2010-01-10T18:17:20.663-08:00

This is your best piece yet. Maybe because I am the oldest of four is resonates with me but I just love it. So touching......

Archer sounds so sweet and caring. You're doi...

2010-01-10T14:36:40.224-08:00

Archer sounds so sweet and caring. You're doing a great job!

I was the little sister. I had an older brother. But, I remember being the boss of him. I was downright bossy with him and I really don't know how he put up with me because he was always so much bigger than me....oh well. He still loves me.

I'm the oldest too. Forgive me my two brothers...

2010-01-09T23:15:42.003-08:00

I'm the oldest too. Forgive me my two brothers :) Anyway, hearing Archer talk to his baby sister is so awesome. I remember not too long ago, speech was not so forth coming. Remember Mama? Time flows huh. Go Archer go! You are going to be a great Big Bro lil' man!

Oh, my, my, my... what a lovely post. The same t...

2010-01-09T19:49:09.938-08:00

Oh, my, my, my... what a lovely post. The same thoughts run through my mind so much these days being a big sister and parenting two little boys: a big brother and a little brother. Your words were wonderful.

You totally ruin me, ya know. So often it seems I ...

2010-01-09T09:22:16.159-08:00

You totally ruin me, ya know. So often it seems I have this feeling, this thing on the tip of my heart that I'm working on waaaaay back in the back of my sentimental brain, something I know I'll need to blog about if I can only find the right words. And then before I can even shape the feelings into phrases there they are, right out of my own life and head and heart, On Your Blog, from your life and head and heart and fingertips, perfectly said.

And there's nothing else to say, really. I should just post a link to this on my blog and say, "Here. This is what I feel when I watch my two tiny little boys interacting." Except I was the middle child and so filled with a little bit of knowledge of both sides of the spectrum, a half-leader and half-follower, without the singular perspective of being just one of the two.

I'm blessed to read your stuff, Rebecca. You steal my thoughts in a beautiful way. Thanks for sharing.

This post was fascinating - I'm an only child,...

2010-01-09T08:14:19.555-08:00

This post was fascinating - I'm an only child, so I have no idea what this type of interaction is like when it's with someone you live with and with whom you share parents. We have a daughter now, but intend to have more children (or at least one more) and I often wonder how they will interact and how my daughter would adjust to being an older sister instead of an only child. You write beautifully.

Your post moved me to tears. I grew up an only ch...

2010-01-08T22:27:18.546-08:00

Your post moved me to tears.

I grew up an only child, always wanting a sibling, and now am a mother of siblings who get along great but with the same little bumps and frustrations as your kids. My daughter is 5 years old, and my son 2.

Not having had a first hand experience at any of the 'sibling business', i am learning as they're going. I hope they will grow up to stay as close as they're now ... despite the smaller and and larger battles that may lie ahead.

Beautiful pictures, btw.

So interesting that so many older siblings have gu...

2010-01-08T19:57:22.483-08:00

So interesting that so many older siblings have guilt over how they treated their younger siblings. I too am the oldest, and I also had guilt about being the mean bossy older sister to my only sister, who is 3 years younger.

When she and I entered our 20s, I wanted a friendship with her, but I began to worry that she did not want one with me. I noticed that I called her more often than she called me. I would ask her to meet up for lunch, and she would sometimes have an excuse why she couldnt go. I always assumed she was rightly punishing me for the past. Or it was just the organic way that chickens come home to roost. I hadnt done enough early-on to create a bond with her, so naturally she didnt feel a connection with me.

One day, I finally asked her about it. Her jaw completely dropped. She told me that she really didnt remember many times during our childhood when I was mean to her. She added, "and of course I forgive you for the times you were the bossy, overbearing older sister. We were kids. And I was probably mean to you to"

Ive realized that my sister wasnt punishing me for the past. She is just more of a introvert, and treats me the same as all of her friends. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I suppose all of that time, I was punishing myself.

Fablela! Kills my heart. My 3-year-old son calls h...

2010-01-08T17:39:10.354-08:00

Fablela!
Kills my heart.
My 3-year-old son calls his twin sister Josephini (not Josephine).
That stabs my heart too.
I'm so glad you have that on tape.
d

As I was the youngest, always telling my 7 years o...

2010-01-08T17:12:55.615-08:00

As I was the youngest, always telling my 7 years older bro-- "You're not Dad!" "You're not the boss! Girls can do the same stuff as boys!" -- I see things from a slightly different perspective. But as roommates for a few years, things changed. The sister took care of (cleaned up after) the slobby brother. And now, even though we're 7 years apart, those years have disintegrated and we're equals. I can't wait for the day when the two and a half years between Sammie and Max fade. But for now she's the BIG SISTER as she constantly reminds him; and he's teeny tiny, crawling around after her, grabbing at her skirt with pudgy fingers, pulling at her hair, and stealing her blocks away, slobbering on the edges.

As I was the youngest, always telling my 7 years o...

2010-01-08T17:12:26.362-08:00

A long-time reader here. Your posts about your fa...

2010-01-08T13:19:24.831-08:00

A long-time reader here. Your posts about your family often make me teary. This one was no exception.
I have a younger brother who's taught me more than any friend ever has. He's also the reason I can tolerate the wars between my two kids -- because I know what comes after.

I am here. 27 years old mother of 2 boys, ages 5 ...

2010-01-08T11:19:40.608-08:00

I am here. 27 years old mother of 2 boys, ages 5 1/2 and 20 months. But also the oldest of siblings...sister to a 20 year old gorgeous brilliant theater actor who towers over me at 6 ft. 3 in. and is so smart and funny. A man now who I still remember in my deepest heart as my very first baby. Thank you Rebecca for always putting into words so much of what I think and feel. Happy New Year!

I have just started following your blog & thin...

2010-01-08T09:00:11.587-08:00

I have just started following your blog & think today has solidified my addiction.

I was the baby of 6 kids, with a 13 year age gap from me to my closest aged sibling. Growing up, I had 8 parents telling me what to do, wear, read, eat & how to speak. It was exciting & confusing, enjoyable & annoying. The older I became the more resentful I was for not being allowed to just be, to just create the way I wanted, to grow the way I felt I needed. I didn't understand why my siblings - esp my closest - wouldn't just back off & lead their own lives.

I'm married now with a 5-year-old & a 2nd baby due in August & am so looking forward to the day when my boy becomes a big brother. He's already playing music to my belly & constantly asking if the baby is asleep or awake. If I tell him it's asleep, he wants to wake them up, if awake, he plays music to lull them to sleep. Not because he's a bossy child, he just wants to be involved somehow.

I loved this post because it helped me see siblinghood from a different angle & has given me a clearer view of what mine were going through, watching me grow up & make mistakes they knew they could have helped me avoid. Every paragraph brought forth more & more tears for me today. My family is not nearly as close to one another as yours, but reading this has given me hope for my own & for my babies - big & little, leader & follower - that hopefully someday when they're all 'grown up' they'll still laugh & love & reminisce about times past, & experiences survived.

Thanks for sharing this. I really appreciate it.

um, so, after finding your blog on babble like two...

2010-01-08T06:13:48.230-08:00

um, so, after finding your blog on babble like two years ago and being a continuous reader/fan since then (yep, that's right - i'm geeking out and qualifying myself as a "fan" of yours!) i JUST found this blog!! i wished i'd have known sooner! what great stories you've shared here - lovely, just. love them.

well, i've got ya safely bookmarked, and i'll be reading. hope all is fantastic with you and yours. cheers!

so lovely to read.

2010-01-08T04:43:48.346-08:00

so lovely to read.

I love hearing about Archer & Fable as the big...

2010-01-07T21:01:20.777-08:00

I love hearing about Archer & Fable as the big brother and the little sister. They're so unbelievably adorable and beautiful together, and I know that will ALWAYS be the best of friends. Makes me wish I had an older brother (I've always wanted one, though I got stuck with being the oldest).

You have a wonderful way with words Rebecca. This post was MAGNIFICIENT and almost made me cry.

P.S. You should check out this song by "Cold" called, "Cure My Tragedy." The lead singer wrote it for his sister who had cancer. Such a beautiful song about the love of a sibling, absolutely awesome (again it makes me wish for an older brother, just listening to it).

GGC- I am not a mommy but have been reading your ...

2010-01-07T18:49:48.699-08:00

GGC- I am not a mommy but have been reading your blogs for a while now and this post really hit home. I am your age with a little sister who is almost 16. It wasn't until about a year ago that our relationship started to blossom. My sister battled demons of her own at a very young age and wile she was going though those things I always felt guilty and thought it was because of the way I treated her during her developmental and growing years. (I was horrible and really mean, being 10 years apart I was well into my angst teens days and she was a toddler wanting to grow and learn and be just like her big sister.) I now know that isn't the case and my sister and I have started building a relationship that will forever be my greatest. I know she doesn't hold a grudge towards me and we are still going to have our battles but I hope everyday that she still looks up to me and I dream of the day when I can look up to her and she can teach me things, although she has already taught me so much.

You have two very BEAUTIFUL children and I hope one day I am as blessed as you are. PLease keep up the wonderful writing!

This totally clicked with me. I'm the oldest o...

2010-01-07T18:48:03.185-08:00

This totally clicked with me. I'm the oldest of 4, I'm 26 and my brothers are 21 and 18 and my sister is 17. Just this past Christmas, I realized we were all able to relate to each other as adults now. And like you described, they now tell me what music to listen to and what books to read. =)

Re: the video: Awww. =) "Those are daddy's books, Fablela." Totally cute.

That is so beautiful. I can't put into words ...

2010-01-07T17:32:08.280-08:00

That is so beautiful. I can't put into words how I am feeling right now. I just know god willed me to find this post. Today.
I am also the oldest. Only my brother died last year. Today would have been his 20th birthday.
I have so much guilt for my own meanness and selfishness taken out on my innocent little brother. And even more guilt knowing that he would forgive me though I don't deserve it.
Sorry I am blubbering. I am profoundly touched by this post and wanted you to know.
Your writing? Well, it rocks muh socks. Wish, hope, dream of writing that way someday!

Just perfect. xo-z

2010-01-07T17:08:50.953-08:00

Just perfect.

xo-z