Comments on Girl's Gone Child: The Difference is This

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't slept more ...

2008-09-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it's because I haven't slept more than 3 hours at a time in over 7 months, but this post made me cry. I was 23 when my daughter was born and you described the scary, lonely, confused emotional state I have been in since my pregnancy in such a beautiful and heartfelt way. I am so glad to see that you feel so ready and excited for this next baby, it gives me hope!

I'm so glad you're saying "can" where other people...

2008-09-18T20:04:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad you're saying "can" where other people say "can't." Bring it on, indeed!

i love your blog. I'm 40 and having my first child...

2008-09-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

i love your blog. I'm 40 and having my first child and going through the holy shit I'm a woman now - that will continue through the pregnancy and then shock the hell out of me once the baby is born. 5 more months to go!

My 2nd baby is 6 mos. old and I too was also looki...

2008-09-18T09:47:00.000-07:00

My 2nd baby is 6 mos. old and I too was also looking forward to the calmness of a 2nd baby! (but at the same time dreading doing that difficult first year over again, at least a littl) When they handed her to me after a perfect delivery it was the best feeling in the world. I was just as in love as I had been with my first, but without the anxiety! I was just able to enjoy her so much. Instead of crying on the drive home from the hospital, I smiled the whole way. Newborns are always a lot of work, but that second one really is something special. As far as your goals for the next few months, it will probably have very little to do with you and EVERYTHINg to do with what your baby is like. I felt like I was on a role after I got past the first three months, and couldn't believe how quickly I had adjusted. Then by baby started suffering from reflux and it was like having a newborn all over again (for me and by older daughter). Anyway, enough about me! I'm looking forward to hearing about your journey into being a mommy of two!

A first child at 23 was no biggie back in the day....

2008-09-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

A first child at 23 was no biggie back in the day. My great-great-grandmother had her first at 18 AND she had been married two years at that point. My great-grandmother married at 19 and had her first at 20. My grandmother was considered an old maid because she waited until she graduated from college before she had her first at 24. My mother finished college and grad school before having her first at 26 (she skipped a couple of grades.) I was ancient when I got married at 26 and had my first at 28, while in law school. So there you go. Not everybody has babies in their 30 and 40s.

You're ready for a baby, but are you ready to be m...

2008-09-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

You're ready for a baby, but are you ready to be mommy of TWO? That's where I hit a glitch - coming home and all the sudden there were two! It was an adjustment, but now it's great. I'm sure you'll be great too.

I really enjoy your blog, so keep on keeping on :-)

Mothering a daughter is a unique experience. My da...

2008-09-18T06:25:00.000-07:00

Mothering a daughter is a unique experience. My daughter is 12, and it's been incredible seeing her through her journey so far. I remember being obsessed with making sure she had both stereotypical "boy" and "girl" toys to play with, and I know she eventually loved the Matchbox car garage playset as much as the dollhouse. I loved playing "The Wizard of Oz" with her, turning into tornadoes and whirling around the dining room table. She was never just a "girly girl"--she embraced some frills from time to time, but mostly was just herself.

The thing I've found most interesting is how much she looks to both me and her dad for inspiration. She's a total jock like her dad and loves Language Arts class like I did. I don't know if it's quite the same with boys (my guy is still a wee 1 1/2) but girls are especially impressionable. You and Hal both seem like you're up to the task of setting an awesome example for her--she'll be paying attention. Trust me.

Well said mama. Well said. The second one does f...

2008-09-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well said mama. Well said. The second one does feel different both in your belly and out. My second was just as unexpected as the first (the Chef & I are morons when it comes to bc) however she seemed to be planned. Even now as we are coming up for her one year birthday I feel as though she was always a part of our family even before she was born. Plus she is by far the coolest chick I have ever known. Take care of you and baby girl and Archer and Hal!

even though i'm not a mommy yet (we are right arou...

2008-09-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

even though i'm not a mommy yet (we are right around the corner from starting to try!) i feel like i can relate to this post because i always felt like i didn't want to have kids. now, i want to, and i feel like i'm about 75% ready, which might be as good as it gets.

Thank you for sharing your revelation. I'm expecti...

2008-09-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

Thank you for sharing your revelation. I'm expecting my first child, in my first trimester. It's great to hear about your personal journey.

Congratulations on baby #2. Look forward to hearing more mother inspiration.

Beautifully said. You're gonna love mothering two....

2008-09-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

Beautifully said. You're gonna love mothering two. You're gonna be tired, but you'll love it.

i already have 3 kids and have said there would be...

2008-09-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

i already have 3 kids and have said there would be no more but you just made me want to run right in to the bedroom and get started on number 4!!!! what a great post!!

I'm so excited for you! And can't wait to hear ab...

2008-09-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited for you! And can't wait to hear about the new arrival. My good thoughts are with you! xoxo

I wonder (from what I remember of your situation w...

2008-09-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

I wonder (from what I remember of your situation with Archer, so correct me if I am wrong) if alot of it also has to do with Hal. I know he was there with Archer, and you two got married before he was born, but hadn't you only known each other a couple of months?

Now you've been together for years, you know that he is willing to fight for your family and work through the bad, but you didn't know that before. So I imagine (at least how I would have felt in that situation) that you were preparing yourself to go through this on your own, in case he walked out, because you don't know what you know about him now.

Hell we're just now starting to try (we'll be married 4 years in Dec) and part of me is still scared to death. Yeah I want it, I know my husband will be a great dad, but how will it change "us", will I be a good mother. Gah! Too much to think about.

Beautiful.

And I agree "What is possible ...

2008-09-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Beautiful.

And I agree "What is possible is up to me. Up to all of us."

Each new moment brings with it pure potential --- anything is possible again and again. Just because it hasn't happened yet does not diminish the potential that it will happen.

You are ready--not just for this baby--but for life (truly lived).

I'm due November 12 with my second and I'm both th...

2008-09-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

I'm due November 12 with my second and I'm both thrilled and nervous, not about the baby but about my daughter and how she'll react. As excited as I am to bring a new addition into our family I'm a little sad for my daughter that it's just not about her anymore. I'm worried about turning her world upside down. I guess that's part of parenting in being there for 2 not just one.

Can't wait to see how we do!
xo
MATC

I remember feeling this way with my second...and i...

2008-09-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

I remember feeling this way with my second...and in a totally different place from being pregnant with my first. This post summed it up nicely. Ready and bring it on...

and then the next day I'd be hormonal and scared shitless.

I remember being pregnant with Eli and feeling the...

2008-09-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

I remember being pregnant with Eli and feeling the same way, almost. I was so preoccupied taking care of Caleb and worrying about how he would adjust that the pregnancy was sort of a blur. But then I gave birth and I felt like I was consumed in love. It was so different than the first time around. Everyone told me I would fall instantly in love when I was pregnant with my first, and I think it took a good 8 weeks for that to be true. I was just trying to survive and get by on practically no sleep, bleeding nipples, and I believe a little postpartum depression. But the second time, the minute I saw his face I was smitten. I had been through it before, my body adjusted to sleep deprivation, and I actually looked forward to those snuggly moments all alone in the quiet of the night. I think knowing it wouldn't last forever helped.

You will be an amazing mama times 2.

you put the new one in a side pocket of your giant...

2008-09-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

you put the new one in a side pocket of your giant louis vuitton, hang onto the hand of the one who came before her; you pack up your computer and your coffee mug, and you keep on walking in your manolos to the park before the gym and the coffee shop/office. just like you did last time, only easier.

shit. it's not that hard. it's just exhausting. deep and conditionless love is exhausting.

now. xanex and coffee (a.k.a. fearlessness and energy) -- a steady diet of equal parts of both makes it all possible. the "doing it all" and the thinking that just because you *can* you should. that's just the xanex talking. if you feed it some coffee, you're good to go. and that, my dear, is how ambitious and successful mothers of two+ do it all. or so i hear. i don't do it all. i only do some of it.

That was beautifully written! Your love and ambiti...

2008-09-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

That was beautifully written! Your love and ambition to struggle and push through to new heights is simply contagious :)

I'm all verklempt over here. Can I chalk it up to ...

2008-09-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm all verklempt over here. Can I chalk it up to postpartum hormones?! Okay, probably not.

Personally? I can totally see you shopping a pilot with BabyGirlF strapped to your chest.

Totally.

Say it, sister!

And, not for nothing, but ...

2008-09-17T09:21:00.001-07:00

Say it, sister!

And, not for nothing, but I found it easier to write with a newborn than to write while pregnant (the second time around, anyway). Like I mentioned earlier, my creative energies during pregnancy were more geared toward background research than production. But once I birthed that baby, that creative part of me needed an outlet, too.

Maybe you'll be able to turn in that script and maybe you won't. Maybe you'll finish that book come summer or maybe you won't. But either way I know you'll have a lot to write about--and a new and inspired way to write it.

It is a great feeling. I didn't get that until th...

2008-09-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

It is a great feeling. I didn't get that until the 3rd one, and it was mixed in with terror of having 3 kids. It's only as hard as you think it is, so stay positive.

(That shot of Hal, Archer, and you kinda reminded me of Micheal Jackson with his kids. And the clown in Poltergeist. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much coffee)

Thanks, ladies. And Mrs. Schwartz? I'm due the 12t...

2008-09-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks, ladies. And Mrs. Schwartz? I'm due the 12th of October.

That's AWESOME. Be ready. Be excited. Be confident...

2008-09-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

That's AWESOME. Be ready. Be excited. Be confident! You CAN do this because you Have DONE this! Yes, I'm sure expectations won't be met on some things, but that is true with every new experience. Being flexible is what makes life easier to live. Hoping for an easy, healthy, beautiful baby for you...