Girl's Gone Child

Seven

2012-01-26T12:09:00.000-08:00

When you're in Vegas, seven is the luckiest number. Seven is the jackpot. Seven is what you pray for at slot machines with empty pockets. 7 and 7 is the drink you order before you pull the lever, surrounded by 1.lust and 2.gluttony, 3. greed and 4. sloth, 5. wrath, 6. envy and 7.pride. Seven is for winners. Seven is for sinners. This should be a country western song.

Every night we go to bed at midnight. It used to be later but then we had one kid and two kids and four kids and now we go to bed at midnight. It should be earlier but the babies don't go down until 11:00 so the last hour of the day belongs to us: our hour. An hour we typically spend picking our noses and holding our noses because it smells like farts in here.

"Wasn't me."

"Yes it was."

"It was the dog."

"It was you."

"It was the baby."

"It was you."

"It was the other baby."

"...You."

I was engaged once but it wasn't to him. It was ten years ago and I was twenty and the proposal happened at the tippy-top of a hill in San Sebastian, Spain, and it was romantic. So romantic we broke up a few months later. And then I got married to someone else.

We got married alone. Our parents weren't invited. Our friends weren't invited. Just the receptionist at the chapel with the grey beehive who wasn't even real. We weren't ready for real so everything was cardboard, including the flowers we posed in front of after he kissed the bride. We were running from real. We ran to Vegas and we ran home, and on May 23rd we ran to the hospital and into the glass. January 22nd was the day we became legally wed by the state of Nevada but May 23rd was the day we made our vows. The child we held between us was as beautiful as we'd ever be together. He was our hope and the ring around our hearts.

When you get married it's like reciting the pledge of allegiance and how the teachers try to explain what it all means but you don't care. You say it because you have to. Because you are born with its words in your mouth. And to the republic for which it stands, to have and to hold from this day forward, one nation, under god, till death do us part, I do.

It took four years for me to call him husband. Four years of undoing forced vows in my head, replacing "till death do us part" with a blank line and an ellipsis. We are here today. And most likely tomorrow. But death is too tall a fence to wrap around our perimeter so we place stakes in the land instead. Otherwise we would be fixated on the fence. We spent our first three years of marriage fixated on the fence.

Everybody bet against us. Sevens are hard to come by, they said. It can take years of gambling to get there. Years of pulling levers with a drink in one hand. Everybody bet against us including me and Hal, and we all lost. Fuck yeah we did. We all lost.

Weddings are as beautiful as marriage ever looks on the outside, with its decorative words and couture gowns and floral displays, with its first dances and exchange of precious metals. That is, until your perception of beauty changes. Until you wake up one day and realize you're both on the same team, even when you play against each other in scrimmages. Even though sometimes I drop the ball and he misses the kick and we spend the night under the same cloak of silence, watching instant replays in our children's eyes.

"It smells like farts in here."

"It was me."

"And that's why I love you."

Seven years ago, we repeated words we didn't hear in a place we didn't know with an audience of strangers. I don't have a dress to pass down to my daughters. Or a wedding album. We never picked a song. All we had was the invisible incline. And every year, we get to turn around and look down.

Getting pregnant was the stupidest thing we ever did. Getting pregnant was the smartest thing we ever did. Our wedding meant nothing. We laughed through the ceremony. We posed in front of a bouquet of fake flowers. We lost the bet.

We lost the bet and won everything.

GGC

105/100

2012-01-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

I've posted The Head and the Heart before but it's been a while. This one's for everyone I love who doesn't live inside my house. Sigh... missing you.

105. Rivers and Roads by: The Head and the Heart

GGC

Eat Well: Easy as (Red Lentils and) Chocolate Pie

2012-01-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks, mom!

When Archer was born, I didn’t stay with Rebecca and Hal like I did at the births of their other children. Their apartment was so small I would have had to sleep in the ~~bathtub~~ shower. The day Archer was born, Larry and I, Rachel and David, drove up from San Diego, arriving minutes after his birth. We held and stared at him all day, but when I left that night I cried wishing I could hold him longer, be there, breathe him in. I remember feeling betrayed that no one had ever told me that the hardest thing about being a grandparent is the heartbreak of leaving behind babies you love more than life itself. I had only heard the very popular adage that “the best part about being a grandparent is you get to spoil them and love them and then return them to their parents.” What a bunch of baloney, I thought, aching from the pain of separation. With your own children, you don’t experience this ache until they leave your home or go away to college. But with your grandchildren, it’s continuous.

Larry and I went to LA a couple of Sundays ago to spend a day with Rebecca and family and Hal’s parents who were visiting from New York. It was the first time we had been there since my two-month stay. (They were at our house for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.) When I got home, I couldn’t get Bo and Rev out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes to go to sleep, those two precious faces stared into my heart and I found my eyes tearing up just thinking about them. The next morning I spent way too much time flipping through pictures on Rebecca’s flickr and blog. Because, as it turns out, one day is not enough time to get your baby fill when you have twins. With a singleton, you hold, hug, play with and kiss one tummy all day, and even though it is hard to pull yourself away, you at least feel somewhat satisfied that you spent quality time with the baby. But with two, you spend half as much time with each baby and you return home unfulfilled and unsatisfied. And that isn’t even taking into consideration wanting to spend time with my other two precious grandchildren—getting enough Fable hugs, hearing about Archer’s ideas on world events, playing games, and doing puzzles.

I am sure you are wondering what any of this has to do with food. Well, at the last minute, I decided it would be a nice idea to bring dinner with us so Rebecca and Hal didn’t have to worry about feeding all of us. I didn’t have much time to cook on Saturday so I made my favorite one-pot easy dinner, red lentils, and for Archer and Fable, the 15 minute chocolate pie I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Since I’ve posted the lentil recipe here before, I typed “red lentils” into Rebecca’s search engine and found it, but it was buried in a post about rutabagas and cucumbers. “OH, NO,” I thought. “What if people can’t find it?” Since I love this recipe so much, I decided to reprint it here, giving it its own special place.

For those of you who have made this before, I apologize for posting it again. But for the rest of you who haven’t, I cannot express enough how delicious AND good for you this recipe is. It has become my absolutely favorite dinner to bring to a friend who is sick or to serve to the family. We eat it almost once a week and we never get tired of it. On the contrary, we CRAVE it. Plus it is inexpensive and you can whip it up in a half hour. (GGC Note: This is my favorite WWW recipe of ALL TIME, Kanye West.)

Make sure you use RED lentils, not the brown ones. In fact, you can substitute red lentils in any other of your favorite lentil recipes. They have a much creamier texture and I prefer the flavor.
So here it is, an encore performance of Red Lentils from Six Spices by Neeta Saluja. I always double or triple the recipe (it freezes great!) and serve it in bowls over basmati rice for a complete meal. Don’t substitute olive oil for the ghee (unless you are a vegan) or ground cumin for the whole cumin. Both of those give the dish its signature flavors.

Lal Dal (Red Lentils)

From Six Spices by Neeta Saluja

1 cup red lentils, washed

4 cups water

½ t turmeric powder

1 t salt

2 T ghee

½ t cumin seeds

1 green chili, halved lengthwise, seeded and sliced (I use Anaheims)

1 small onion, chopped

½ t cayenne pepper

1 medium tomato, chopped

2 T fresh lemon juice

¼ cup fresh cilantro.

1. Place lentils in a medium-size saucepan with the water, turmeric powder, and salt. Bring to a boil on a high heat. Reduce heat as froth starts to build up. Remove froth from the surface as it builds up. When froth subsides, turn down heat to low. Partially cover and cook until they are soft and turn into a soup-like consistency, about 15-20 minutes.

2. In a small frying pan, heat ghee on medium heat. When hot, add cumin seeds to ghee, soon followed by the chilies and onions. Cook until onions become soft. Add chili powder and tomatoes. Cook for another 3-4 minutes or until tomatoes are soft. Add to lentils and simmer for another 10 minutes.

3. Add lemon juice and garnish with cilantro. Serve hot.

***

And because I have now mentioned it TWICE and failed to post the recipe, here is the recipe for the heavenly chocolate pie that is easy as pie to make. (Thanks to Larry’s mother for giving me this recipe!) For a gluten free version, buy gluten free chocolate sandwich cookies. (I use Kinnitoos or Mi-Del, both found in the gluten free section of your grocery store.)

Chocolate Mousse Pie

(from Cooking with Trader Joes)

28 Joe-Joe’s cookies with vanilla bean filling

(or any other chocolate sandwich cookies)

¼ cup melted butter

12 oz semisweet chocolate chips

14 oz can light coconut milk

1. Preheat oven to 350. Crush the cookies in food processor. Pulse cookies until fine crumbs. Add melted butter and pulse until combined. Press the crumbs in an oven safe pie dish. Bake crust for 5 minutes. Remove from oven and cool completely.

2. Melt chocolate on the stovetop on low, stirring well until completely smooth and melted. (Don’t scorch.) Pour coconut in blender and add the melted chocolate. Immediately blend until completely smooth (20-30 seconds).

3. Pour filling into crust and chill for 4 hours or overnight in the fridge. (Prep and cooking time: 15-20 minutes, not including cooling/chilling time.)

Serves 12

GGC Note #2: The whipped cream dollop (pictured above) is totally weird and lame because HAL ATE ALL THE WHIPPED CREAM and this was all that was left by the time I got to the canister. Womp womp.

***

Enjoy!

Love,

WWW

From the Vault: Fable Laughing

2012-01-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

I found this video yesterday, while comparing photos of Fable and her sisters at four months old:

Fable was a couple weeks older than Bo and Revi here, and we were in our old house and Auntie Ang was visiting and I almost forgot how I used to prop Fable in the corner of the couch and she'd just sit there smiling all day (kind of like Reverie does now) and I was like, "this is EASY. I could totally have 42 kids!" And then I met Bo and realized that EVERY baby is (wonderfully!) different.

(Oh, hi Bo.)

This morning, Fable insisted on feeding and burping her baby in the car before we went inside to school.

"Just need to get this last burp out, okay? Okay, mommy?"

"Okay, mommy."

Fable, four months x 3 pictures

Fable, four months + 3 years

GGC

Liner Notes 1/23

2012-01-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

"Orchid." Orchid is the baby Fable has kept in her shirt for the past week, refusing to remove her even at school. She sleeps with her, wakes, and promptly tucks her into her shirt or dress or coat, pulls her little face through so that her little head rests below her chin, chest to chest.

Fable has always been maternal but it wasn't until this week that she started wearing her babies on her person.

"Hey, how's she sleeping?"

"Good. She really tired. She sleep a lot."

"What are you coloring?"

"A spider heart!"

I took Fable and the babies to the Flea Market over the weekend. It was our first sojourn the four of us (five, including Orchid, who Fable wore in her dress all afternoon). We perused piles of discarded treasure, old barbies in orange crates, costume jewelry Fable insisted I try on, slap bracelets. I let Fable pick one for herself.

"What about Archer?"

... And one for Archer, too.

Every week I take pictures of the girls on the rug with the intent on making them flip books of their first year, but really, I just love dressing them up and taking their pictures. It's just... fun.

Boheme and Reverie had their four-month check-up last week, weighing in at twelve and a half pounds (Revi) and fourteen and a half pounds (Bo) respectively. It was the first time I took them to the doctor alone, and between shots, comforting after shots and feedings took three hours from start to finish. But we did it! We survived. I think I might even be getting the hang of this, manybabybusiness.

(Kind of?)

With Archer and Fable's help, I can get dinner ready on my own when Hal's working late. Archer has mastered the art of entertaining the girls:

"It's because I know their passwords," he says.

Indeed. So much so, I can FINALLY remove Bo from my body when Archer's home and set her up in her chair next to him. Chop some broccoli, stretch ye olde weary bones, etc.

An Archer and his Bo

The flowers came in the middle of a fight. The timing couldn't have been worse. Hal and I were mid-argument and then, all of a sudden. "Knock, knock, knock!"

"Delivery for... Rebecca Woolf?"

The bouquet was beautiful, an anniversary gift he designed himself, which of course, at the time, made me all the angrier. Because I wasn't finished being mad. I needed AT LEAST another hour of slamming doors and sweeping hallways. Because there's nothing worse than a beautiful bouquet of flowers when you're trying to be pissed off. It wasn't fair.

I refused to look!

"Do you like them?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to read the card?"

"Goddamnit, YES."

We made up just in time for the sitter to arrive and later that evening, at our fancy anniversary dinner, I spilled an entire bottle of champagne in my lap. But not before we toasted to seven whole years and four perfect children and two full spider hearts.

GGC

Gone (Postpartum) Style: In Vest Wisely

2012-01-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

photo via bethany winters circa November Kin shoot

Good day! The time has come for another installment of POSTPARTUM FASHION! Today I sing the praises of the men's vest. (Vest shown below belonged to my late grandpa Lou. I wear it often and pretend we're hanging out.)

Harem pants: American Apparel

White top: French Connection (purchased a million years ago)

Tartan top: Torn (also purchased a million years ago)

ED: There are some great mens' vests for sale on Ebay and even more at your local thrift shop.

pre-pregnancy in my dad's vest (and the same French Connection blouse in video)

In a thrifted military vest and top (also pre twin-preg)

P.S. I found this post (which I wrote four months after Fable was born) and now I feel inspired. I look pretty much the same right now as I did then. My body is VERY slowly losing the weight and I'm confident I will someday be able to zip my riding boots above my calves. In the meantime: vests and unitards, unitards and vests. (And accessories. Accessories always fit.)

GGC

Updated: Bag (above) is Mia Tote by: Ellington. My mom has the same one in black because we are twins.

Thing of the Week: Noise

2012-01-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

"You are getting veeeeeeery sleeeeeeepy..."

Uh. No, I'm not.

After all that talk of quiet, it's noise that's keeping me sane these days. As per your advice, we purchased a sound machine for the nursery and both babies have (more or less) slept through the night ever since.

white noise machine by: SleepMate, $55

Don't let its homely looks fool you. It's what's on the inside that counts: EIGHT WHOLE HOURS of sleep.

Thanks to many of you for the outstanding recommendation. You are my very favorite people.

zzzzzzzzzz,

GGC

104/100

2012-01-19T09:16:00.000-08:00

This one's for my man, seven years married this Sunday.

Thank you for sharing a sailboat with me.

... And 462 baby penguins.

Bec

***

104. Love, Love, Love by: Avalanche City

Eat Well: Eat it, SOPA (de tortilla)!

2012-01-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

As by now I'm sure you're well aware, many websites went dark today in protest of SOPA/PIPA. I have no idea how to go dark SO instead I waited until nightfall (dark) to post this recipe for sopa... de tortilla. Because puns are my revolt! For more information on the SOPA strike go here. If you haven't already, you can sign google's petition, here and/or write your congressperson, here.

***

The following post was written by my mom, WWW who is as pro sopa (de tortilla) as she is anti SOPA (de stupido). Thanks, mom!

I am LOVING experimenting with my Vitamix. Of course it makes amazing smoothies and you can increase vitamin intake by sneaking kale, spinach or other greens into fruit smoothies. Or, add more protein via nuts and seeds. My favorite nut smoothie so far is 2 handfuls of almonds, 1 banana, and 4 dates blended with unsweetened almond milk.

This is a meal in itself. The Vitamix is also great for making veggie drinks. I can’t believe that a carrot blended in the Vitamix becomes liquid. No need for a juicer and that’s great because they are such a pain to clean.

The Vitamix comes with a cookbook, but I have heard from several sources that it isn’t the greatest. I tried the tortilla soup and it was kind of bland, so I came up with my own recipe. It got rave reviews from Larry. Make sure you use a good quality vegetable stock to start with. My favorite is Imagine Vegetable Cooking Stock. (Not their vegetable broth. There is a BIG difference). Of course if you have time, homemade stock is the best. You can make a lot of it and then freeze it to use for the base of your soups.

Vegetarian Tortilla Soup (Sopa de Tortilla)

4 cups good quality vegetable broth, homemade or bought

3 ripe tomatoes, halved (or ½ can drained whole tomatoes)

1 cup hominy

1 large carrot, halved

1 stalk celery, halved

1 slice onion

1 garlic clove

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and halved

1 slice cabbage

3 teaspoons taco seasoning

1 teaspoon cumin

1 handful of cilantro leaves

½ can black beans

1. Place all ingredients except cilantro and black beans in the Vitamix in order listed and secure lid.

Select variable 1. Turn machine on and quickly increase speed to variable 10, and then to high. Blend for 5-6 minutes or until heavy steam escapes from the vented lid.

Add cilantro and black beans and mix on variable 2 for about 10 seconds.

Pour mixture into a saucepan and add: 1 can drained organic corn.

Bring to a boil and simmer for about 5 minutes:

Adjust seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste. Add: The juice of 1 lime

Pour hot soup into bowls. Add:

-Chopped avocado
-Crushed good quality tortilla chips

(Serves 3-4)

Love,

WWW

Liner Notes 1/17

2012-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

~~What's~~ Spits up?

My in-laws left this morning after spending the long weekend here, meeting their grandtwins for the first time. We hadn't seen them since last spring and it was lovely. (I didn't take nearly enough pictures of our time together because that's kind of what usually happens.)

Hal's mom, Susan & Revi

Grandpa Norm rockin' the bottle service

Over the weekend, everyone went to see the new Metropolis II exhibit at LACMA, an exhibit many of you have forwarded on to me (thank you) and one we have all been waiting for months to see. We're huge fans of the museum and between LACMA's NexGen passes and Hal's work we can go free every day after school, which may end up being the case now that the kids have seen the exhibit and fallen hopelessly in love.

For those of you not in LA, this video is just as cool:

Favorite moment of the week: A scene

Trader Joes Checker: Hey, man. How old are you?

Archer: Six and a half.

Checker: What is that, first grade?

Archer: Yeah. First grade.

Checker: What's three plus two?

Archer: What!!??? I can count by twelves all the way to two hundred and forty.

Checker: Is Math your favorite subject?

Archer: Yeah. Math and working on my personal narrative.

(sometimes it's hard to focus.)

I cut my bangs last night but instead of trimming them I adjusted the part so my hair would look thicker. I regret not taking step by step pictures because that would have made for a pretty awesome tutorial. If any of you bang-rocking ladies are experiencing hair-loss and would like to thicken up your bangs, let me know and I'll mock up a tutorial to post.

Hint: this is what your sink will look like afterward:

And your bangs:

Here's the before:

Not to sound dramatic but on Friday afternoon I almost died. I was crossing the street with Revi (after miraculously getting Bo to sleep via wrapping her up in my sweater) who was wide awake, kicking her legs as I sipped my Avo-kale smoothie when a driver, who wasn't paying attention, floored it on a left turn to beat oncoming traffic...Now, I know most people don't walk in LA but I happen to be one of the crazy ones who prefers to go by leg.

I have two of them after all and pay a premium to live where I don't have to get in my car to drive.

In LA, we don't have left hand turn lights most of the time so it's a constant battle, turning left. One has to yield to oncoming traffic and then floor it when there's a window to turn and/or the light turns red. I get it. I've lived here all my adult life.

But this was different. I was already halfway across the street when the car appeared, left blinker flashing, racing oncoming traffic without paying attention at all to whether anyone was crossing the street.

"Holy shit, this car's going to hit us."

But it didn't. The woman in the passenger seat screamed, the car swerved, I jumped out of the way... And then it was over and the car sped off and I was standing in the middle of the street with Revi, now asleep, clutching a kale fucking smoothie.

And then I turned and walked home.

These moments typically bug me out for days. I usually lose my appetite directly after almost dying. Instead I became incredibly thirsty and by the time I got to my front door, my cup was empty.

For whatever reason, it felt like one of those game-changing moments. But only because everything stayed the same. I was fine. I went back and got the same smoothie the next day, this time with both babies. Crossed the same intersection. Felt time surround me like a sort of god-like enterprise. Because that's what time is: an invisible government, every moment a newly elected president of presence. Seconds distinguish us from death, happiness, fear... The clock is always right and we are always against it. Every day, time hooks us up, pulls us back, guides us forward. Whether we insist on walking, driving, riding a unicycle along an electric line... We're all just a bunch of weirdos trying to get from one side of the street to the other, safely, or at the very least, more enlightened.

Over the weekend a very dear family friend's cancer came back. In an email, she eloquently wrote about her situation and ended it with the following:

"So here's the plan: we go forward with joy, hope, gratitude, courage and humor, we boost each other up with love and encouragement, and we don't take things too seriously..."

Some of the wisest words of all time. Thank you, Denise. We love you with our whole hearts.

GGC

Reverie & Boheme, Four Months

2012-01-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

Every month, when it comes time to take their pictures, write a few words on all that's changed, I marvel that anything actually does. These days go by so slowly but somehow, the months seem to fly. Four months are faster than four days. I don't even remember what it felt like to hold them in the hospital, to dress them in the white newborn onesies long retired. In the beginning I fed Revi through a tube in her nose. Poured the bottle into a a syringe and let it drain down her throat into her belly. Two ounces on a good day. Now she drinks six. They both drink six in the tall bottles. No more preemie flow nipples for these girls.

Boheme: Transparent blue eyes flashing from the Ergo when she wakes to make sure I'm still there...

"I'm here, Bo. I'm here." Her hair is still light, blonde eyebrows. She is yesterday's Atlas, carrying upon her shoulders the weight of another world. The kids call her Bobo and I call her Bobolini and when she hears her siblings cry she does, too. She is sensitive and soft and in need of affirmation, touch, love. Her eyes tell stories. And in her sleep she paws my chest, my skin beneath nails I'm too nervous to clip.

She is strong for her age and big for her age and can almost sit up on her own.

She's mostly serious. Intense and serious. But when she smiles everything illuminates. Everything.

Reverie: Eyes as big as teacups, black hair that sticks straight up, olive skin and grey eyes...

...she is light to carry and light in name and light. We call her Revi Coconut for short for no reason other than that's the name that suits her. She's our coconut. Our smily face. She laughs in her sleep. Sometimes so loud she wakes herself up. (You would never know it from these pictures, but it's true.)

Aha! Got one:

She just started rolling over, crashing on her back with a smile, and when she meets a new face she makes noises that sound like, "Hi!" "Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeoooooo."

When we go on walks she stares at the trees and kicks her legs and faces out in the Bjorn. (Bo hates to face out. Revi hates to face in. Of course.)

(Bonk)

"yo, yo!"

"chill sis, I got this."

Happy four months, growing girls.

(today.)

***

(Our cup runneth over.)

(And over.)

GGC

Quiet is Seldom Discussed

2012-01-12T10:04:00.000-08:00

Everything is loud. Everyone is screaming. Everyone needs something. Everyone needs me. I can't think with all of these sounds and all of these lists and all of these decisions I have to make. Can I borrow your ears? Your organization skills? Your memory?

We talk of the moments, but only those bolded and underlined, notated with red ink. We mark dates on the calendar and double-check them, make plans to fill our days with noise and conversation, push ourselves to take on more, measure our heft by the wake of our ventures but quiet is seldom discussed.

Of course there is chaos and every morning we wake in sinking beds and we must dress, eat, feed, drive... all before the time the bed disappears beneath the floor, its monsters and tube socks revealed.

But what of the reflective pauses? When the music isn't blasting the same songs on repeat. When the children are coloring. And the kitchen is clean. And the babies are finally sleeping. After school drop-off when the car is parked on the driveway and the key has just left the ignition...

When I open the door she is screaming. Every morning she screams. She is afraid of arms that aren't mine. Terrified. So I strap her to my body, tell her over and over that it's okay. The world is safe. You don't need me. Just ask your twin sister. The quiet one who in four months has cried once.

The world is safe.

Hal says the one thing that gives him solace in moments of panic or stress is: "everything is absurd." He tells me to try it sometime so I do and he's right. This sentence is absurd. So is this sentence. And this.

A. It's a wonderful feeing, to be needed.

B. It's a terrifying feeling, to be needed.

C. All of the above

They're not supposed to sleep on their stomachs but there's no other way that they will sleep. They're not supposed to sleep with bumper pads in their cribs but they do that, too. Otherwise they would sleep with their faces against the bars. I am told by reputable sources that I'm putting their lives at risk. I have been told by reputable sources all my life that what I'm doing is wrong because that's how reputable sources work. They are smug in the knowledge they possess after games of telephone. They tag their hypotheses with the names of Ivy League research institutes and we all fall down on our knees out of fear that we know nothing and they know it all. And they do! They know everything. Their voices are loud with wisdom so we musn't trust our own.

I knew a woman once who forgot how to listen to herself, too busy was she listening to voices on headphones telling her how to feel. And then she would cry because the song told her to cry and she would laugh because the studio audience told her to laugh and then she put her babies on their backs because that's just what you do now. That's just what you do. So much noise.

I'm learning to turn down the music. No headphones. No more listening in on the conversations of reality stars with cameras aimed between their eyes. Everything is absurd.

My hair is falling out again. It's falling out like it did when Fable was born and I blamed my IUD. My hair is falling out because of hormones and I'm afraid to have sex because of pregnancy and every time Hal sits next to me on the couch I cross my legs. In the meantime, the shower drain is clogged with hair and the water is rising.

The water is rising and the bed is sinking and the voices in our heads belong to everybody else. We know the words to every song but forget what it was we were saying. We retweet in place of our own thoughts. Repin our fantasy kitchens. Tumble quotes. We tell our children to "be quiet! I can't hear myself think...."

...But of what are we thinking? I know all the lyrics to Baby Got Back. I say "like" too much. I click "like" too much. Nobody "likes" this post. I don't "like" it either.

I bought a brick of Pilates classes last month knowing I would never use them.

Ever.

But everyone is doing it, you know? Everyone ELSE is doing it.

There's always a bra that hangs from the doorknob in the bathroom. It's always damp and it's always there, even when I take it down and slip it through my sleeves at the breakfast table. Somehow, moments later it's back. Another bra, twisted and drying against monogrammed towels. This is what I'm thinking about right now in my quiet moment at my desk with my quiet baby in the other room and the other one in my arms. Quiet is a stretched-out bra with a missing underwire.

Yesterday I started an outline for a new thing. A new story. Three years ago I wrote a short script that got made into a film that I hated so much I never wrote about it. It was bad, that's why. It was bad and I wrote it and it was bad. But, see, someday I'd like to write about someone else's bra straps, a different married couple's vasectomy pamphlets. I did the same thing last January. Started something. Finished it. Hated it. Wrote something else. Liked it okay. Hated it. Wrote something else. Decided it wasn't worth a second draft...

I imagine I'll spend the next forty-something years writing things and throwing them away until one day the muse appears like Mary Poppins with a taped-together manuscript and helps me wrangle decades of dead ends and tangled plotlines. In the meantime, it's easier to start a new story than to edit another draft. This is why they say that half of manuscripts end in divorce.

"I write to quiet the voices," people like to say. Just like we say "shhhh!" to our children for talking too loud in libraries.

There is so much noise. Too much noise. Noise blocking noise but quiet is seldom discussed. Unless of course there is so much quiet. Too much quiet. Quiet blocking quiet until it, too, becomes loud.

The margins of life are thick. Peace exists. (We named our screaming baby after it.) Silence happens. (Even if it's only as we dream.) A song fades out and then, for two or three seconds; quiet.

It's everywhere and it's whispering.

GGC

Eat Well: Broccoli or Bust

2012-01-11T09:04:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks mom!

I have a huge confession to make: I don't like broccoli... the traditional mature heads of broccoli, the type you get at the store with thick stems and large florets. I love broccoli rabe, broccoli leaves, broccolini, and any other vegetables in the cole family:

broccolini = love

In fact, they rate at the top of my vegetable love list and I have often talked about them here. I adore young picked home grown broccoli and especially savor the second, third, and fourth side shoots that appear after the first large head has been picked. I just can’t figure out what it is about the large heads that leave me cold but I guess others share this distaste. It’s probably the only thing George H.W. Bush and I have in common.

This week I was cleaning out my refrigerator and came across two HUGE bunches of mature broccoli, one that I got in my CSA box and the other left over from when the kids were here (the only green thing that Archer will eat is broccoli). So not wanting to be wasteful, I had to figure out something to do with it. “I could use it all up in one fell swoop if I make soup,” thought I, but as it turns out, I don’t even like cream of broccoli soup. (I know…I need serious therapy). But I decided it would be a good opportunity to experiment. Larry loves broccoli and all things soup, so I knew that if I couldn’t concoct a soup that I liked, he would happily eat it up.

The only dairy product I had in the house was organic low fat cottage cheese and because I now am the proud owner of a Vitamix, I decided to puree it to use as a thickener for the soup (this works GREAT I found out…it is kind of like crème fraiche). You could also use silken tofu the same way if you want to omit the dairy. And do you remember the garam masala I made several weeks back? I decided to add that to make a normally bland soup more interesting. The miracle is, I not only liked the soup, I LOVED it, so much so that we have been eating it every night for three nights and I am still not sick of it. So here it is, my broccoli hater’s cream of broccoli soup. Hope you like it as much as I do!!

Wendy’s Broccoli Haters Cream of Broccoli Soup

6 cups vegetable broth

2 cups water

2 potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 inch chunks

2 large carrots, peeled and cut into 1 inch chunks

1 onion, chopped

1 jalapeno chili, seeded and chopped

2 large bunches of broccoli, broken into florets (can use stems, too, if they are peeled)

2 cups low fat cottage cheese or silken tofu

2 teaspoons (more to taste) garam masala (either store bought or home made. Recipe here)

2 teaspoons curry powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Bring vegetable broth, carrots, onion, potatoes, and pepper to a boil. Cover and cook for 15 minutes. Add broccoli, curry powder and garam masala (or cumin and curry powder) and bring back to a boil.

Turn down and cook for another 15 minutes or until broccoli is tender (don’t over cook). Meanwhile, in a blender, puree cottage cheese or silken tofu until completely creamy.

When vegetables are tender, puree with an immersion blender or blend in batches in a blender. Add blended cottage cheese or silken tofu and blend until combined.

Add salt and pepper to taste and add more seasonings if desired. Simmer until hot and serve. Makes 8-10 servings.

***

The day after I made the soup, I was thumbing through Dr. Weil’s book, “Spontaneous Healing” and just happened to open it to the page where he extols the virtues of broccoli’s “cancer-protective effect” via the compound sulphoraphane. After insisting on the importance of eating broccoli, he recommends to those of us who think we don’t like broccoli to cook it the following way:

Dr. Weil’s Broccoli

(for those who think they don’t like broccoli)

1 large bunch of broccoli

¼ cup water

1 T extra virgin olive oil

Several cloves of mashed or chopped garlic (I used 4)

Salt to taste

Red pepper flakes

Parmesan cheese

Cut off the main stem of the broccoli, peel it beneath the fibrous layer, and cut into edible chunks.

Separate the head of broccoli into bite-size pieces and peel a bit of the skin from the stems to make them more tender. Place broccoli in a pot with the water, oil, salt to taste, and garlic. Bring to a boil, cover tightly, and let steam until it turns bright green and is crunchy-tender, no more than five minutes. Remove the lid and boil off most of the liquid. Season with red pepper flakes and Parmesan cheese.

Serve as a side dish or with pasta.

***

I made this recipe tonight and I have to admit Dr. Weil is right—it’s really delicious, owing, I’m sure, to the large amount of garlic in the recipe. I think the trick to making broccoli palatable to those of us who aren’t broccoli fans is to cook it with strong flavored ingredients such as garam masala or garlic. When David was little, he loved dill pickles but hated broccoli so I would soak his broccoli in pickle juice. For years, that’s the only way he would eat it. Maybe all these years I should have been eating it that way too!

Do you like broccoli? Do you have a favorite way of cooking it? I’d love to hear from you!

Love,

WWW

****

Thing of the Week: Racecar Vans

2012-01-10T14:27:00.000-08:00

Archer picked these out the other day at one of our favorite shoe haunts and hasn't taken them off since:

Vans Racer, $37

Hoping VANS heeds my call and debuts a practical (yet surprisingly sexy) Honda Odyssey hightop. #miniVANS

GGC

Liner Notes 1/9

2012-01-09T14:09:00.000-08:00

A lot went down this week so allow me a moment to untangle the past seven days and write about them coherently. In the meantime, here are some pictures of Bo and Revi who will be a whopping ONE -THIRD OLD this weekend.

Bo's hair seems to be getting lighter and Revi looks like she may end up with curls like her Auntie Roo...

They are a full size apart, Boheme already wearing 6-12 month clothes while Revi's still rocking 3-6. Bo continues to be a challenge and looking through photos I'm starting to realize how many more there are of Bo because she's always. with. me. I'm making an effort to wean her off and out of mom-mania-mode but I'm not getting very far. I pick up Revi, Bo screams, I put Revi down, grab Bo (screaming stops) and four hundred pictures later...

Lately, the only way to spend alone time with Reverie is to take her out with me on errands. Every few days we go on Mommy-Rev dates where we can hang just the two of us, at Target or wherever and I can catch up with her on the latest goss, share secrets, rock out to the 90's satellite radio station and just. be. together.

And when we come home? Bo's waiting, screaming her little head off, stopping instantly when I take her back.

Sigh.

I started looking at houses this week and of course, fell madly in love with the first home I saw because I am impossibly emotional and also a sucker for Spanish tile and stained glass. And also because house hunting is overwhelming and my soul is a delicate flower.

I called Hal crying from the car. BECAUSE OH GOD, THE WOODEN BEAMS! THE HAND-PAINTED DOORS! So what if there's a large skyscraper in the front of the house?

"...This is our home!" I said sobbing.

"Bec. You said that about the last house you saw."

"But this one REALLY is our house!"

Hal thinks I'm the Woolf who cries Wolf but COME ON, look at these details. They are STUNNING:

Hal begged to differ.

Unfortunately, even with it being a buyer's market we cannot afford a home in our neighborhood (unless it's a fixer). So we're looking at homes that need work in our zip code and homes that are finished in other neighborhoods.

I've already seen one of each (both 1920's Spanish) and am leaning toward the "different neighborhood" scenario only because I'm not the fixer-upper type. Renovation scares me. Especially with four kids. Don't get me wrong, I love WATCHING renovations take place but dealing with them sounds... slightly terrifying,

***

I spent a good chunk of the week packing for our weekend sojourn to Santa Barbara. We left Friday evening, during rush hour because we are masochists. Just before leaving, Fable took to the floor with her markers and began drawing madly.

"Fable, come on let's go. You can finish that when we get back."

"No! I have to finish it before we leave!"

"But why?"

"Because I'm drawing it to bring to Santa."

Santa. As in Santa Barbara. Fable thought... yeah.

We spent the weekend in Santa Barbara the six of us. I contribute to The Four Seasons' family blog so was able to take my family on a weekend trip to their Santa Barbara location. Unfortunately, a vacation with four small children, two of them being infants isn't much of one, no matter how beautiful the grounds.

After three hours of screaming-in-car-in-traffic-me-with-both-pacifiers-trying-to-calm-both-babies-behind-me, we finally arrived in our room where we (for the most part) stayed put for 36 hours, unable to rally the troops between feedings/poop explosions. And then there was the whole, all-of-us-in-one-room-no-sleep-for-any-of-us scenario...

This is what pretty much all of my photos from the trip look like:

And this:

We did leave the hotel room (once!) and managed to make it to our very first out-to-lunch outing as family of six about a mile up the road from our hotel.

On the way home to LA, we decided to stop for lunch in Malibu. I stayed in the car to feed Boheme while Hal and the other kids went to find a table. The day took a turn when I realized Bo had peed (and pooped) through her clothes, all over her carseat and Hal was in the restaurant with my diaper bag and cell phone so I had to take apart the trunk with a crying/naked baby in front of a restaurant valet line all while my car was being waited on so the valet could move my car...

"Ma'am, we're waiting."

"SIR! I AM COVERED IN POOP!"

It was a baaaaaaaad time. One of my least favorite moments everever. But of course, as all moments do, it ended and ten minutes later Bo was fed, clean, my car was moved and all was once again right and fine in the world... until I walked into the restaurant. There below was Hal trying to break up a fight between Archer and Fable as Revi looked on. I arrived just in time for Rev to excrete an explosive poop all her own. As Hal worked on separating Archer and Fable, I tucked Bo in the Ergo, whisked Revi over my shoulder and hauled ass into the restaurant bathroom where I waited for ten minutes with two babies on my person. Because (of course) the ONE bathroom stall with a changing table was occupied by a the ONE woman in the bathroom who wasn't even USING the bathroom but rather making herself at home a la trying on several outfits whilst humming show tunes.

And so. Because, duh frustration, I cried.

When I returned to the table with the babies, Archer was hunched over on his side of the booth.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up..."

Check please.

... And all the way home, the babies screamed. SCREAMED.

Stopping off in Malibu for lunch = Never again.

Later that night, as Hal and I sat down on the couch with the babies, both of us still recovering from the day's events, Bo and Rev made each other laugh for the first time. It started with them facing one another, cooing, babbling and then, Revi smiled. Bo smiled back and giggled. Revi giggled. Bo's giggle turned into a laugh and then Revi joined her, their little voices in joyful duet.

"This is definitely one of the greatest moments ever," Hal said.

It was.

And once again, because duh perfection, I cried.

GGC

Gone (Postpartum) Style: Unitards for all!

2012-01-06T10:12:00.000-08:00

And we're back with another riveting episode of Postpartum Gone Style via Kin. This week, UNITARDS: my favorite wardrobe staple. You may recall the unitard's role in my pregnancy. Or at least until it exploded at thirty-one weeks:

Well. Postpartum I bought myself a new one (American Apparel) which I wear AT LEAST once a week. The following video shows three of my favorite (and most practical) ways to wear a unitard, which come in TOTAL handy postpartum. Viva spandex!

ED: This video was shot two months ago which makes me feel like I'm making some progress here in ye olde land of weight loss. I know I sound like a broken ~~record~~ MP3 but I can't help that my physicality is weighing (zing!) heavy on my mind right now. It's totally cliche and I hate that I'm not better at embracing my body, especially after creating two perfect little humans with it, but sometimes it's hard. That being said. I think every one of you is beautiful and in no way does me feeling self-conscious about my body suggest that for any reason you should feel self-conscious about yours. Apparently, that didn't come across in my last video/post and I apologize. Body image is a tricky thing and these videos are meant to help those of you in party boats similar to mine. xo

GGC

Eat Well: Gluten Free Pancakes (& Post Holiday Update)

2012-01-05T11:36:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks mom!

Having everyone home for ten days was like eating a fabulous meal where every course was better than the next. Tomorrow morning Rachel will board a plane back to Ohio and I know it will take me a few days to adjust to the quiet—it always does—but it also will feel good to roll up my sleeves and begin the New Year. I have lots of wonderful memories from the holidays, many centered around food. We had our first gluten free Chanukah and Christmas and it was a huge success. Larry’s mom made her scrumptious potato latkes with gluten free flour and David’s gluten free gingerbread turned out to be the perfect (and delicious) building material for our Dubai gingerbread city.

(recipe found here)

Christmas eve, David whipped up some gluten free biscotti so we could have a snack with our coffee as we opened presents on Christmas morning and later made us the most delicious pancakes I have ever eaten…both recipes from his favorite cookbook, Blackbird Bakery Gluten Free Irresistible Desserts. Normally I can’t eat pancakes, they make me feel bloated and kind of sick, but I had four of these babies and never felt better. We ate them with Vermont maple syrup, yogurt and David’s homemade apple butter:

Blackbird Bakery's Gluten Free Pancakes:

Ingredients

1/4 cup + 2tbsp almond flour

1/2 cup millet flour

2 tbs glutinous/sweet rice flour

2 tbs sugar

1 tbs guar gum

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 t baking powder

2 large eggs, beaten

1 cup buttermilk

2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

cooking spray

Directions:

1. Heat a griddle pan to medium heat.
2. Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl and whisk together.
3. Melt the 2 T of butter in a microwave or warm oven. Beat eggs and mix in buttermilk and butter. Pour wet ingredients into dry and mix together.
4. Butter pan. Measure out 1/4 cup of batter and pour onto the griddle. When bubbles form on the top flip the pancake over until both sides are golden brown.

(Batter should make 8 pancakes.)

***

Several times over the holidays I made Trader Joe’s Chocolate Mousse Pie and substituted gluten free chocolate sandwich cookies for the crust. This recipe has become one of my favorite desserts and is easy as, well, pie. It tastes rich but really is quite light. (It’s vegan, too, if you use a butter substitute in the crust since the filling is made from only coconut milk and chocolate).

I got some wonderful foody presents, too. Rebecca and family gave me a Vitamix (!!!!!!!!!) Many of you mentioned that you couldn’t believe I didn’t have one when I posted about my favorite kitchen tools a few weeks back and after making a green smoothie this afternoon and a vegetarian tortilla soup last night, I am completely hooked. Also, I had no idea how easy it is to clean. Just fill half way with water, add a couple drops of soap, and whirl away. No fuss, no muss. So much easier than a blender. I can’t wait to make hummus tomorrow with sesame seeds instead of tahini. How cool is that? I will keep you posted as I learn more about my new favorite kitchen gadget!!

And David gave me a wonderful book about olive oil which is not only fascinating but sheds light on the corruption surrounding the olive oil industry. (I will tell you more about it in a future post when I am done with the book).

Happy New Year to all of you!

Love,

WWW

Gone... Childstyle w/ HGTV.com

2012-01-04T16:45:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, I got the chance to chat with friend and fellow blogger, Katie Granju about a possible collaboration with HGTV.com. As a fan of the network (House Hunters International, hello), I was thrilled to potentially join forces, but after several days trying to come up with a collaborative concept, decided it would be best to hold off. At the time, I felt I had little to bring to the table creatively. We agreed to reconnect down the line if/when it made sense for us to do so. It wasn't until a few months ago that (BOOM!) the timing became right. I had spent a good part of my pregnancy obsessed with Househunters International and with our imminent move, a partnership seemed organic, even fated. Not to mention (aha!) this time I actually had an idea. Something I was genuinely excited about: nursery design.

For months I'd spent countless nights searching the web for video series on nursery decor and had yet to find anything that excited me. Everything seemed so cookie cutter perfect... ripped from the pages of Pottery Barn catalogs. Pink for girls and blue for boys, meaningless accessories to match doldrum decor. How could there be 789792739843789 design shows centered around room makeovers (Hal worked on Deserving Design for a season) and not a single show devoted to featuring unique nurseries and children's rooms? Rooms that were beautiful, practical and attainable for the style-conscious parent? What was that about?)

I pitched my idea to pursue a web series on nursery design and (success!) the ladies at HGTV totally dug it. Three months later, I'm excited to announce our first collaboration together: "Childstyle with Rebecca Woolf", a web series I'll be creating with HGTV.com featuring inspired spaces for babies and children.

We're just starting to break ground as a team so there's nothing to show you guys quite yet besides this little introductory post on HGTV.com but I will absolutely be sharing more news as I have it. In the meantime, I am beyond thrilled and so appreciative of the support I've already received from so many of you, so thank you. Thank you!

GGC

Liner Notes 1/3

2012-01-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

It always feels anticlimactic, waking up to the first day of a new year. Like the view is supposed to change, the feel of the pillow, a new longing to get out of bed. If only we could move through our lives with the same self-forgiveness we carry these first few days of January, the same hope and hustle. We could all stay up until midnight, kiss and exclaim "Happy New Day!" and then make it one instead of waiting around for the year's change to reset our alarms. This thought occurred to me New Years day when Archer woke up upset we hadn't woken him, as promised, at midnight.

"But we tried! You refused to budge!"

"Can you wake me tonight instead?"

"But it's not New Years Eve anymore, goose. Next year..."

"But that's SO FAR AWAY! I want to celebrate TONIGHT!"

Rewinding to earlier in the week...

...Last week my cousin, Yvette her husband Iban and daughters flew in from Spain where they live outside Pamplona and I got to meet their new baby Mikaela for the first time.

Mikaela was born on the fourth anniversary of her late grandfather's death, Yvette's father, my uncle Pete. She was born at home, days after she was due, her own unique soul full of light and love, stamping LIFE on a date previously reserved for mourning. Life is full of magical coincidences and the poetry of her birth is an exquisite one. Meeting Mikaela was wonderful and watching Archer, Fable with their cousins (second cousins, no first cousins yet) was the highlight of our week.

It was also the first time my Nana was able to be with six of her seven great-grandchildren at once, which she clearly HATED:

We had such a lovely family time and it bums me out considerably that we can't all live next door to one another.

The day after we came back to LA my brother went back to Boston and my sister returns to Ohio tomorrow. Boo hoo/sigh.

And then we came home.

After tucking Archer and Fable in their beds, post east-coast ball-drop feed (that's your new band name), Hal and I gorged ourselves on cheese and chocolate and watched our #1 favorite movie of 2011 (appropriately titled Beginners) before ~~passing out at 1am~~ waking up at 1:02 am with Reverie.

In the morning we toasted with the kids over breakfast, babies-in-laps and started our first annual "Things We'd Like to Accomplish in 2012" list, all of us contributing as many things as we could think of that we'd like to make happen for ourselves and each other in the coming year.

Some of Archer's goals: Go somewhere we've never been before, learn to be a better swimmer, cuddle on the couch as a family and watch Madagascar.

Fable had three goals for 2012:

1. Play with Archer.

2. Play with Boheme and Reverie

3. Play with friends.

So far she's three for three and it's only the third. Nice work, Fable!

Hal's goal was to play more piano, mine was to read more books and together our biggest goal for 2012: buy a house.

We spent the last three days putting together lists of homes, stalking short sales, emailing links back and forth with our agent and starting this week I'll be touring homes as a potential BUYER. Um, what? (When I close my eyes, I'm still twelve years old so JUST LOOKING at potential properties to "own" feels surreal.)

So here we go. Whether it's a Steve or a Stefan or a Stephanie, our house is out there and we're going to find it. And if it's meant to be, we'll buy. If it isn't? We'll continue to rent. In the meantime (and by meantime, I mean "last three days") I've become so addicted to real estate sites that I haven't been able to sleep.

Real estate sites are rabbit holes. Your search begins with a modest three-bedroom short sale and an hour later, lands you on a squillion dollar dreamhouse with ivy framing stained-glass windows and a koi pond that whistles dixie. And then by the time the day has ended you're trying to calculate how you could make the dreamhouse happen by, you know, taking on a few hundred more jobs, selling a kidney, etc, which seems COMPLETELY sane in your head. Like falling in love with a celebrity and thinking if you wore the right dress and showed up at his door, that Owen Wilson would totally love you back. (I spent many a year obsessed with Owen Wilson. OBSESSED. Don't laugh.)

This is why we're hunting for a Steve, not an Owen. But YOU GUYS, there are some serious Owens out there, holy Wilson.

***

Yesterday at Trader Joes a "nice" old man pointed to my stomach and asked me when I was expecting.

"Never again," I told him.

I wish I could say this was the first (or even the second) time this has happened but alas, every other week I am congratulated on my non-existent pregnancy.

Funny story: When I was discharged from the hospital and shlepping back and forth to the NICU twice a day, EVERY SINGLE TIME I passed the security guard in the front entrance with my cooler full of pumped breast milk, waddling and cringing from my healing incision, dude would stand up from his stool and say: "Congratulations! Looks like it's time!"

At first I corrected him. "Nope. I already gave birth last week. Just... you know... still looking pregnant, walking weird because I just had major abdominal surgery."

The security guard apologized and then three hours later, when I returned, congratulated me again. "It's go time! Girl or boy?" This went on for days.

By day three I just went along with it.

"Congratulations! Baby time!"

"~~Congratulations! You're a complete idiot!~~ Thank you! Which way to labor and delivery!!??"

Anyway. After the Trader joes incident I had Hal take a picture of my fifteen-weeks post-partum baby bump so I could share what a postpartum belly often looks like, a little pregnantish:

LET THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERYONE: DON'T EVER COMMENT ON A WOMAN'S PREGNANT BELLY UNLESS THERE IS A BABY HEAD CROWNING FROM HER VADGE. Because some girls are bigger than others. Some girls are bigger than others. Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.

and the award for most awkward picture ever goes to...

GGC

Gone... 2011

2011-12-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

Last year I spent the last month rotating some of my favorite posts of the year. And by "favorites" I meant, "favorites to write." I meant to do the same thing this year but instead committed to a squillion contests/giveaways and an extended family of sponsored material which left little room for nostalgic ramblings outside the weekly photo post and a few scattered words about sleeplessness. That's December round these here parts and I'm lucky enough to make a great portion of my yearly earnings the last few weeks of the year, leaving little time for sorting through yesterday's posts and composing tomorrow's. Until, of course, today. When I sat down to post some of the highs and lows of the past twelve months, a year which has been, in a word: momumental. (Sorry, that was lame. But true. Lame but true.)

On New Years Eve, 2010 I wrote about slowing down:

...We tend to focus our attention on how fast things accelerate because all drivers have a need for speed. Zero to thirty. Zero to fifty. Zero to one hundred miles per hour without slowing down. In the past, de-acceleration has felt to me like failure when really, it's the speed at which we slow down that showcases our ability to drive. 2011 = break and roll down the window. So much to see beyond the glass...

2011 was supposed to be the year of reflection and stilling the mind, Alan Watts style. A zen year of exploring the internal. The year of om. Of pausing to exhale. Pausing to inhale. Pausing to exhale, serenity now. Except that didn't happen...

What happened instead: On Hal and my sixth wedding anniversary, we spent the night in a hotel...

...I got pregnant. Found out I was carrying twins. Panicked. Stopped panicking. Watched my belly grow. Went to New York on our first family vacation. Watched my belly grow more. And more. And more. Archer turned six. I turned thirty. Fable started school.

...We bought a minivan. I obsessed over the nursery. Shopped for the nursery. Finished the nursery. My belly kept growing. And growing.

...Until it broke open and Boheme and Reverie were pulled out into the world. And then we were six.

...Two weeks later they came home. On that same day we were told we'd have to move. Hal changed jobs. We celebrated Bo and Revi's first three months, cross-dressed on Halloween, played with dollhouses, counted our blessings, cursed each other, made up, marveled at our children as siblings, adored each other.

In that time I wrote about graying hair, forgoing college and the controversies of compliments. I wrote about discussing death, Osama Bin Laden and why I think it's important for kids to share bedrooms. I wrote about changes occurring overnight and magic hours that occur some evenings, bad haircuts and snails.

I posted weekly updates on my pregnancy, and then daily updates on Bo and Revi's NICU stay, wrote about the names we considered and the names we chose, posted a thousand photographs because I couldn't help myself, sped so fast that everything blurred...

... all while my mother cooked. And cooked. And helped with babies and cooked.

If what I wrote last NYE is indeed true, that slowing down is what showcases our ability to drive, then I'm nowhere near assessing my prowess behind the wheel. What I do know is that I managed to make it through 2011 without crashing, thanks to the love and support of family, friends and all of you.

"Everything is temporary" has been 2011's mantra. And without fail, everything has been. The morning sickness went away. The fear subsided. The pressure disappeared, came back, went away again. First smiles appeared and with them, the storage of newborn pajamas. Days ended. Weeks began. Hal and I fought and made up. I was pregnant and then I wasn't. I worried and then I didn't. I couldn't sleep and then I could. I didn't sleep and then I did. Everything was temporary. For better, for worse: temporary.

It's been a tremendous year full of magic and wonder and insanity and life, of great love and laughter, tears, fucking up and bucking up and learning to open up to life's unexpected gifts. Thank you all for reading, for letting me share, for being my peeps. Looking forward to 2012 and all the crazy wonderful yet to come.

With love and gratitude,

Bec

Gone Style: Tee Time (Sponsored & Giveaway)

2011-12-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

the following post has been brought to you by Stylemint.com. Thanks, Stylemint!

That's right. We're still talking about postpartum fashion! Because I'm still... postpartum! Anyway. Here we are again, with another exciting post about comfort + style in the fourth trimester... which lasts ~~nine months~~ ~~a year~~ indefinitely I've decided.

A few weeks back I hand picked three comf + cute tees to incorporate into my daily wardrobe. Stylemint.com is Jewelmint's sibling site which means it's ALSO subscription based (all featured monthly tees are $29.99) for those of us looking to update our wardrobes with wearable essentials without fitting room angst. It's also backed by fashion's favorite twins: Mary Kate and Ashley who I once went as for Halloween. I love them. I also love taking fashion quizzes. (RIP Seventeen Magazine) and wearing things that fit me because, hi.

Here are three outfits I wore this past week that made me feel... enthusiastic about leaving the house. (See photo above for proof.)

Tee: c/o Stylemint

Harem Pants: Fluxus

Shoes: Nicole

Glasses: Oliver Peoples

cardi (below): Zara

If it isn't harem pants it's leggings. And if it isn't leggings its denim. I'm still a good three waist-sizes away from my pre-pregnancy weight and have refused to purchase jeans to wear in my fourth trimester. Until my mom bought me a pair this Christmas because I was annoying her with my lack of pants. (Leggings aren't pants! They are too! They are not! They are so! They are SO not!) So here is what I wore yesterday, paired with the necklace Archer made me earlier that morning. (Thanks, Archer!)

tee: c/o stylemint

jeans: BDG (Urban Outfitters)

boots: FRYE

assorted necklaces: gifts from Archer & my aunt

scarf: sidewalk sale/bin thing

My favorite of the three shirts is probably this next little number which I wore with leggings last week. Yes, leggings. And leggings are PANTS. They are PANTS PANTS PANTS!

tee: c/o stylemint

necklace: jewelmint & gift from mom

card: Fluxus

beanie: Forever 21

lipstick: MAC

leggings: AA

boots: thrifted

Wanna win a Stylemint tee of your choice? Just tell me which tee is your fave and how you'd style it and I'll choose one winner via random.org next week, January 5th. In the meantime, you can shop with discount code GIRL for 15% off your first tee purchase. Happy tee-ing!

GGC

Updated: congrats to commenter #82: My Bottle's Up for winning a stylemint tee (wheee!) and thanks to all of you for participating with your stylish comments! xo!

Liner Notes 12/27

2011-12-27T11:17:00.000-08:00

Boheme and Reverie's first Christmas has come and gone and tonight is the last night of Hanukkah. We celebrate both holidays, always have, and between Hanukkah dinners and gingerbread house decorating parties, this last week has been one giant celebration of friends and family and babies everywhere. I don't think either baby has NOT donned a pair of arms since we've been here, both of them being passed around like peace pipes. (Reverie anyway. Bo clings to me like a... clinging baby. There isn't a single recent picture of me without her in my arms)

Bo wears Fable's first Christmas dress with a new pair of kicks c/o Gooey

One of the hardest parts of having twins (for me) has been an inability to divide my time equally between both babies. Going through the last week of photos, Bo is always in my arms and Rev, the community baby, always finds her way into the arms of someone new. She's equal opportunity when it comes to love and attention which is wonderfully helpful but I can't help but feel guilty that my attention is usually elsewhere. (Not that Revi seems to mind, but...)

... Meanwhile, hello.

Some of my favorite pictures from the last week have been of my grandparents:

My Nana with Revi:

My Grandpa reading books with Archer and Fable:

My Grandma lol'ing with my mom and sibs:

They personify the joy that years of living can bring and watching them play and read and laugh with my children brings joy in spades. Their good health is our happiness.

Both babies have been sleeping through the night since we arrived, going to sleep between nine and midnight and sleeping until 5:30, sometimes as late as nine. They sleep in a pack n play down here so I think when we return to LA tomorrow, I'll bust out ours and see if that's the trick. Or maybe, at three plus months, we finally turned a corner. Amazing if that's the case.

Baby in reeeeeeeed... is sitting with me. Cheeks and cheeks:

She wore a mushroom shaped beret. The kind you find as a hand-me-down from your big sistttteeeer...

We leave tomorrow, back to the grind of reality with a few exciting perks: a family getaway in Santa Barbara, tickets to see Woody Allen's New Orleans Jazz Band play Thursday night (a Christmas/Hanukkah gift from Hal) which is going to be so amazing and I cannot WAIT.

feeding ducks

holding babies

watching cars

decorating cities

playing princesses

drying nails

being happy

For Christmas Fable got this beautiful dress from my parents and the wings and dress-up clothes from Santa. These pictures were taken Christmas morning after she opened her gifts and promptly ditched her pajamas for something fancier:

For Archer it was all about Tomica:

my gifts:

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

Now let's keep dancing.

GGC

103/100

2011-12-26T22:23:00.000-08:00

If you aren't already acquainted with Wye Oak, I have a feeling you'll like getting to know them. This song is equal part happy and sad, very day-after-Christmas, me thinks.

103. Civilian by: Wye Oak

GGC

Merry, Merry

2011-12-23T12:53:00.001-08:00

May your heart be light and love to all...

xoxo,

GGC

Eat Well: Happy (Gluten Free) Holidays!

2011-12-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks, mom!

A couple of months ago, I called David, our gingerbread engineer extraordinaire, and told him that we need to put our heads together to come up with a gluten free gingerbread recipe for our beloved house. (Last year I posted about this favorite Christmas tradition and you can read about it here.)

“I’m already on it,” he assured me. “I’ll try it out on my friends at Thanksgiving to make sure it works.” I sighed with relief, thankful that I could cross this task off of my “things to do” list because this is the exact kind of problem that wakes me up at 5 am lately.

“Oh and something else,” I added. “Archer has requested a Dubai gingerbread house...”

A couple of days after Thanksgiving, I opened my inbox to find David’s recipe. Not only had he made gingerbread men for all of his guests at Thanksgiving, but he had also made a gingerbread house.

“It was delicious,” he wrote.

And yesterday, while babies were being fed and rocked by aunties and friends and the house was filled with the joy of being together, David sat at his computer, creating a plan on google sketch of the gingerbread house that will be. The Dubai gingerbread house with the “tallest skyscraper in the world.” This year there will be new little faces in the kitchen, the recipe will be modified to weather the new health needs of our family and tomorrow, Hal will arrive to make our family complete, just in time to create our yearly masterpiece.

making candy

For all of you gluten free people, see below. (For non gluten-free recipe go here.)

David’s Gluten Free gingerbread

(for a large gingerbread house)

2 ⅔ cup packed dark brown sugar

1 ⅓ cup (gluten free) molasses

2 tbsp ground cinnamon

2 tbsp ground ginger ½ tsp ground cloves

3 sticks butter

2 tbsp baking powder

2 tsp vanilla

3 cup potato starch 2 cup tapioca starch 2 cup sorghum flour 2 cup brown rice flour

1 ½ cup almond flour

1 cup millet flour

2 tbsp +2 tsp xantham

4 pinches salt

4 eggs, lightly beaten

Preheat oven to 350. In a heavy-based pan over low heat, dissolve the sugar with the molasses, spices, and butter. Slowly and carefully bring the mixture to a boil, cool it to room temperature, then mix in the baking powder.

Place the flour in a LARGE bowl with a pinch of salt and make a well in the center. Pour in the cooled syrup mixture and the egg, and stir from the center to incorporate the flour.
Knead the dough in the bowl until smooth and flour is completely incorporated:

Split in half and roll it in the pans until it is uniform thickness and completely filling the pans.
Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Lay templates on the warm gingerbread and cut around them with a knife.

***

And here’s some more family cooking fun….my friend, Martha who is the cookie maven of Encinitas, sent me this recipe for reindeer cookies. We had so much fun making these as a family. Fable decided after making three reindeer that she would, instead, like to make an owl—which was awesome beyond belief. Archer, inspired by Fable’s lead, created a stoplight and a car.

We used the Whole Foods peanut butter cookie recipe because it's gluten free, but you can use any peanut butter or gingerbread cookie dough, even those bought at the store.

Reindeer Cookies

20 oz peanut butter cookie dough

60 2” gluten-free pretzel twists

60 chocolate chips

30 m&ms

Freeze dough for 15 minutes. Cut into 30 ¼” slices. Place 4” apart on prepared cookie sheet (parchment paper on pans works great). Pinch 2/3 way down to make reindeer face. Press in pretzels for antlers. Press in chocolate chips for eyes and M&M’s for nose.

Bake at 350 for 9 – 11 minutes. Let sit on cookie sheet until peanut butter cookies set and then cool on wire racks.

Makes 30 cookies.

Happy Holidays!

Love,

WWW

Thing of the Week: Peacock Menorah

2011-12-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

Jonathan Adler, $150

We already have a family menorah (the kids picked it from a local tchotchke store on Fairfax last year) but if I was in the market for a new one? This would SO be IT. I fell in love with it last week while browsing the Jonathan Adler store. I think it's just beyond delightful. And chic. So chic!

Happy Second Night of Hanukkah, everyone!

xo,

GGC & Fam

Captured IV (Sponsored & Giveaway)

2011-12-20T12:21:00.000-08:00

The following post is the last of the "captured series" posts brought to you by Best Buy. Get unbeatable prices on all digital cameras to capture your family memories this holiday season.

I was up late last night going through all of the entries trying to narrow down my five favorite photos. (Many of the images posted were blocked from embedding and/or downloading so I was unable to include all of my favorites. Like this one. And this.) I could have posted fifty photographs because there were at least that many that were incredible and moving and verklemptish but the following thirteen (choosing a top five was impossible) made me audibly gasp from the magic and joy so lovingly portrayed. So thank you.

Guardian: "While we packed up to go home from our camping trip, James sat on a stump, armed with his bow, overlooking the other kids playing on the tire swing below." via AprilAnn

"Dorothy fell asleep in the middle of her one month photo shoot. I put the camera down and curled up next to her, and Jeremy grabbed the camera... I don't think any of my other pictures so effectively capture the calm yet overwhelming love that I feel when dozing with a sleeping baby in my arms." via Jeremy Wakeman

via elk

Family: "I snapped this at the arboretum on one of our visits this summer. Gray was upset and wouldn't go sit on the bench (not unusual for him) so he slumped on the grass. And I remember just watching them through the bushes. I couldn't even hear what they were talking about, but I couldn't get over my beautiful family." via adventuresinbabywearing

via urbanbrat

Salermo Brothers: "This is a pic of our two boys Griffin and Gavin a few weeks after we brought Gavin home from the hospital. When I was pregnant, I was so worried about how my 2.5 year old would adjust to the big change. Being an only child myself, I never fully grasped the sibling relationship but was always intrigued by its complexity. I asked everyone I knew how I should help "foster" their relationship. I wanted them to be close but knew it was something that was probably beyond my control. I knew to expect bumps in the road because every great relationship always has them. But as I watched my two boys lay on my bed and my "big" boy reach around to embrace his sleeping brother, right then, in that instance, i saw the power and instant love two siblings share. Regardless of whatever changes he was feeling, his need to hold his baby bro close was something that came natural...the love is there from the beginning and all we can really do is help it grow and watch in awe. So happy I caught this moment." via takebacktables

Dusk via candykempsey

Magic: "My son, two years ago, really experiencing the magic of the holidays for the first time." (via Ashley)

Angela & Ella: "These girls are attached to each other when they are home. My daughter will drop whatever teenager type stuff she is doing, at any moment, to be there for her little sister..." via candykempsey.

Sisters: "We were renting this townhouse in the 'burbs and the large shared field out back was why we chose it. No one was ever out there. We spent most of our time our back and the girls could wander all over. I loved these Cherry Blossom trees that would bloom for such a short time. Seeing the girls "on their own" playing together so far from me made me observe them in a way I never could up close." via littlereddogstudios

Practicing Levitation via Candace Laning

Meeting Harper: "Harper Mae was born 2:46am November 10, 2010. This was the first moment I laid eyes on my daughter." via jberthume

Four Kids: "These four. From four different places on the globe. From four different genetic backgrounds. And somehow so absolutely siblings, so absolutely belonging to one another and to us as a family. We are so lucky to get to witness the miracle of them every single day." via KCHK

Walking to the farm: "I spend a lot of time with my cousin's three boys - basically my nephews. One of the common daily pasttimes is to walk up through the woods to the farm where our grandfather grew up. I just love this shot with the black-eyed susans." via welleslypiffy.

"This is one of my new favorite photos. OF ALL TIME. Playing in the yard at Papa and Nana Deur's house in Iowa." (via Jana.)

***

Thank you for sharing your photos everyone. I'll be narrowing down this final bath to one within the next few weeks ($500 Best Buy gift card c/o Federated Media = hooray!) If you haven't submitted your favorite five photos and still would like to, please do so by uploading to flickr and tagging them #CapturedPhotoContest_GirlsGoneChild. Please also remember to make them "public" so I can see them. (You can also link them in the comments if for whatever reason, they don't show up.) You have until December 24th to enter. (Eprize will contact the winner through flickr mail from the "family memory photo contest notice" screen name on/around 1/16/12.) For more info, see this post, contest rules and regs are here.

...Thanks again for sharing your incredible photographs. Gorgeous, all of them, as are all of you.

Liner Notes 12/19

2011-12-19T12:20:00.000-08:00

We arrived Saturday evening after a chaotic morning that involved many tears and tantrums, and I'm not talking about the kids. Ahem, exhaustedfightingparentsandmehystericalomg. We hit the road around 2:30 and didn't arrive until nightfall. Yes, I just wrote "nightfall". It makes me feel like a romance novelist. "Before nightfall, Sven entered the cabin..."

"... and held the babies so his ~~lover~~ wife could pour herself some coffee."

Anyway. Here we are at my parents' abode, waiting on my sister who arrives tonight and my brother who flies in tomorrow. Hal took the train back to L.A. last night because, sadly, he'll be working all week. Celebrity news must go on!

After writing about how AWESOME Bo and Revi were sleeping last week, they decided to psyche us all out with super-awesome all-night party-time. Luckily they're adorable and we love them with our whole (exhausted) hearts.

Yesterday we went to pick out a Christmas tree at the local lot, next to the grocery store where my first boyfriend worked, across the street from the 7-11 I bought a Playgirl magazine on my 18th birthday (because I could), the vacant lot where things happened between boys and girls in pickup trucks, Weezer blasting "In the Garage". Where first hickeys were had and rumors took hold and break-ups occasionally occurred.

It should be strange to return home to the refurbished and reclaimed areas of one's past and it used to be, years ago, returning to my childhood haunts as an adult. I used to avoid the vacant lots, fearing I may be sucked in and spat out as my teenaged self, freaky friday style. I have no desire to be young again. Or younger. Maybe that's why, after years of dragging my feet, I now find myself excited to come home. Has it been so long that even the ghosts have died?

"When I was your age, this Christmas tree lot was... something else."

I noticed the halo of light around Archer's head just after posting these. Pretty cool:

And later, at home:

When I was pregnant, one of the things I was most looking forward to was THIS. Being home with my family and all four of our babies, listening to music and consuming large quantities of delicious food and just, you know, EXISTING together. I had a picture in my head of what all of this would look like and the reality is even more beautiful than that.

GGC

102/100

2011-12-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

photo via fashiontoast

You can cross "cigarette" from the following song, replace it with "cookie" and that would pretty much sum up the duet I've been having with myself all month.

"It's just a little cookie, in the New Year, I'll cut sweets."

"Honey, who you trying to kid, I know you, you love treats..."

"...Those sunglasses are cute, I should buy myself a pair."

"You're way to old for those. You have grays in your bang hair."

102. The Cigarette Duet by: Princess Chelsea

***

Have a great weekend everyone!

GGC

Captured III (Sponsored & Giveaway)

2011-12-15T13:30:00.000-08:00

The following "captured series" is brought to you by Best Buy. Get unbeatable prices on all digital cameras to capture your family memories this holiday season.

This past February Hal and I took the kids to the library. No big deal, right? Every day parents take their kids to the library. Ah, yes. But this was a particularly special outing for us because it was our last adventure as a foursome before finding out that we would soon be a six...some?

I snapped the above shot of Fable in the grass at the foot of the Los Angeles County library. It was just us on this massive stretch of lawn and sidewalk, fountain and stairway, as Archer sat watching the traffic pass on the corner of 5th and Grand while Fable ran around in circles, arms outstretched, pretending to be a bird.

That day Archer taught Fable how to roll down a hill and Hal and I discussed for the thousandth time whether we should try for a third child, how it would affect us and them and THIS. They, our kids, were finally old enough to appreciate libraries and lawns and rolling down hills that weren't so hilly. Starting over with a new baby would change that, would change everything. Were we sure we wanted to go there? Was I? We linked arms and sat in silence as Archer counted cars and Fable chased shadows, big kids, both of them. How did this happen? Where had we been?

"I really want to go there, yes."

And perhaps, in some cosmic way, I knew I already had. That tails had already formed and with them the clues of two crossword puzzles, Saturday and Sunday editions.

I was recently asked to pick my favorite post of the year which is kind of impossible because every post is so totally different and every choice is arbitrary and favorites are for race horses. And yet. For whatever reason, this post was so obviously it. Because after weeks of shock and fear, I was starting to feel excitement, awe, acceptance... Because these pictures were taken before we knew... Because even though Fable felt like a big kid then, she was still, at the time, our baby. And now she's this girl, who knows to avoid mud puddles, and can roll down even the steepest hills.

...Because on that afternoon, in the lawn at the foot of the library, laughing with closed eyes, she was two. And unbeknownst to me, to us, so were they.

***

Thanks to everyone who has shared photos thus far. They're amazing, all of them and I can't wait to share some of my favorites next week. In the meantime, if you're still interested in entering the Captured Photo Contest (for a chance to win a $500 gift card to Best Buy c/o Federated Media) go to flickr.com, upload your (up to five) photos and tag them #CapturedPhotoContest_GirlsGoneChild. Please also remember to make them "public" so I can see them. Unfortunately some of your photos aren't showing up in the collection and nobody knows why. Soooooo, please double check that your images are included here and if they're not, post their link(s) in the comments so I can include them in the contest. For more info, see this post and for rules and regs go here. Thanks, everyone!

Real Quick...

2011-12-15T09:31:00.000-08:00

1. Good morning!
2. I'm giving away a Dell Inspiron computer over on Gone Childssss. For a chance to win, (you have until tomorrow night to enter!) insert commentary here and/or here. I'm writing about "teching the halls" these "appy holidays". Pun times for all.

3. Thank you all for your kind words, tweets and facebook messages about the Babble Top 100 List. Your support and kindness blows my mind. I love you guys.

4. This gift guide is my favorite on the entire Internet. So clever. So festive. So right.

5. Several of you asked after Archer's roadway set. It's called Tomica and was first introduced to us at FAO Schwartz when we went to New York in the spring. It's also for sale at Toys R Us. The stuff is genius, affordable and so SO great for kids who love cars and building for them. Archer's dream is to become a city planner and every day he comes home from school and creates these elaborate cityscapes and roadways with his Tomica, wooden blocks and imagination. Joyful stuff.

6. No plans for Saturday night? Say HELLO to your hot date that is this:

Baby sloths? Are you kidding me? I think a live tweet is in order, you guys. Animal Planet. 8pm. See you there. #slothparty

GGC

*gramophone ipod dock/photo via newist

Eat Well: WWW's Ultimate Gift Guide

2011-12-14T00:22:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks, mom!

chocolate banana bread + cutting board, recipe here

I'm not much of a mall shopper. I am not much of a shopper at all, actually. But in early December, I enjoy going once to the mall just to see what’s out there and to buy any gift(s) I can’t find locally or online. For instance, I wanted to buy Archer a nice coat and I found an amazing one at Nordstrom that wasn’t too expensive. (When did their prices get more reasonable? I guess I should get out more often!) On that same trip, I stopped into Williams-Sonoma—a foodie’s candy store. I drooled over their dishes and tablecloths, tools and gadgets. But in the end, I left the store realizing, in my spirit of simplifying, that a good cook doesn’t really need too much stuff. And although the new Zoku Quick Pop Maker looks like LOADS of fun, it probably would end up in the garage after using it a few times. That’s where my fondue maker, electric skillet, deep fat fryer, yogurt maker, bread maker, popcorn popper, and ice cream maker ended up years ago, all gadgets I bought thinking I HAD to have them. This got me thinking about what tools I have that I can’t live without, the tools that I use daily or at least weekly.

So… here is my list of 17 cooking “must-haves” that WON’T EVER end up in the garage:

1. Cuisinart Food processor:

Larry bought me my first Cuisinart as a present on our first Christmas. We had no money but he splurged on me and I was THRILLED beyond belief. I used it so much I actually wore the thing out. A couple of years ago I bought another one. I still use it all the time, although I no longer use it to puree my soups. Now I use an…

2. Immersion Blender:

About ten years ago, my niece, Yvette, told me that I MUST get an immersion blender. It took me several years before I finally got one and now I can’t imagine living without it since I cook so many soups. Mine was made by Cuisinart and it works great. Immersion blenders vary in price and can be just as costly as a food processor, but mine cost around $30.

3. KitchenAid Mixmaster

For years I balked at spending the money for a KitchenAid Mixmaster . I was given a Sunbeam mixer for a wedding present and used that until it died. After that, I tried to make due with a handheld mixer, but a hand mixer doesn’t work well for stiff batter such as cookie dough and so I finally broke down and bought what I had always secretly wanted…a KitchenAid. If you don’t have one, put it on your wish list. It’s quick, thorough, heavy duty and you don’t have to turn the bowl while you mix which means you can be doing other things while it is working away. They last forever and are worth the price. Their one flaw is their weight, but I keep mine on the counter so I don’t have to lift it.

4. Microplane Graters:

There are no other graters that match the sharpness and ease of these. They come in many sizes and shapes. I love the zester/grater and use it for grating Parmesan cheese, nutmeg, and for zesting lemons. I also have a larger grater for soft cheeses.

5. A fine mesh strainer such as this one:

I use mine almost every day to wash beans and grains and strain vegetables or soups.

6. Heavy aluminum (16 gauge) cookie sheets

I used to buy just any old cookie sheets until my friend, Mary, gave me one of her restaurant quality sheets used in her catering business. What a difference! They cook evenly and most importantly don’t warp with the heat like many inferior brands. There are many companies that make these including Bakers and Chefs, Chicago Metallic, and Eagleware.

7. Large cooling racks:

I like the large ones better than the small ones as you can cool an entire batch of cookies on one. They’re also great for cooling large slabs of gingerbread for a gingerbread house. I like having two of them since the first batch of cookies isn’t usually completely cool by the time the second batch comes out of the oven.

8. A set of sharp, good quality knives:

But you don’t need 10. Every kitchen needs a chopping knife, a paring knife, a slicing/carving knife, and a serrated knife. Any more than that isn’t necessary. Probably the best knives made right now are the Japanese Shun knives, which I don’t have, but they are probably worth the investment if you cook a lot. I have an eclectic variety of knives that I have accumulated over the years, but my favorite knife that I own is a J.A. Henckel.

9. kitchen scissors that come apart:

I LOVE these and use them all the time, even for cutting pizza. You can take them apart to clean which is a must when you are cutting food with them.

10. A Dutch oven:

I have said before that I love my Le Creuset, but any heavy bottomed stainless steel or cast iron pot would be fine, too. Don’t get aluminum as the aluminum reacts with acidic food and leaches into your food. Unlike iron, aluminum isn’t good for you.

11. Stainless steel pots:

(including one large soup pot and two smaller ones.)

12. Cast iron frying pan and at least one other frying pan

(cast iron or stainless steel).

Refrain from buying “non stick” pans as they have a plastic coating that eventually will end up in your food. When seasoned properly, cast iron will not stick. Neither will stainless steel if they are heated to temperature with butter or oil before adding food.

13. Good quality cutting board:

There is a lot of controversy regarding which type of cutting board is best, but I really like bamboo. Bamboo is harder than wood so it lasts longer and is more eco-friendly than wood or plastic. Make sure you don’t get a cheap one as it will splinter.

14. Kitchen scale:

I buy a lot of food in bulk so my kitchen scale is a necessary tool for measuring the correct weight of any food needed for a recipe. I have an Eatsmart precision digital scale.

15. Assorted pans for baking and roasting:

I have one LARGE roasting pan and several ceramic and aluminum pans as well as two pie dishes, cupcake pans and bread pans. (NO PYREX). What you need in this department depends on if and how much you bake.

And...the two specialty gadgets I have that will never end up in the garage:

16. Electric citrus juicer:

A 10 pound bag of oranges costs $5 at our local farmer’s market, so fresh orange juice is common around these parts. I also make a lot of recipes with lemon juice (especially my hummus) and using a manual squeezer hurts my wrists. I have a cheap one…the Black and Decker Citrus Mate (about $16) and I use it so much that it lives permanently on the counter.

17. Flip Waffle maker:

My mother gave me the Waring Pro waffle maker for Christmas years ago and we love it. It makes the most perfect waffles every time because you flip it over half-way through. And it’s fast so you minimize the waiting time.

What are your favorite kitchen must-haves? What have you bought that you thought you HAD to have but after several uses it ended up in the garage? Any kitchen tools on your holiday wish-list?

Happy shopping!

Love,

WWW

Boheme & Reverie, Three Months

2011-12-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

I wanted to post this earlier today but life intervened. So! Here we are, a quick post before the day is over and we forge ahead into month four with four...

Today I went back and watched the video of Bo and Rev's birth, read through some of the posts I wrote while pregnant, combed through those first photos of them, tiny and new in the NICU and miraculously, didn't shed a single tear. Which I credit to sleeping THREE FULL NIGHTS in a row, woohoo! We celebrated with a dance party that Boheme slept through as Reverie kicked very impressively to the beat. And then we all sat down to a dinner of spaghetti and milk.

Unfortunately, I forgot to post (and shoot) photos of the babes on their blankets last month so there's a little hole in our series. Bummer. Still, it's pretty fun to compare them today to the seemingly minuscule babies they were two months ago:

one month

today

eyes

EYES!

Annnnnd break-it-down in five, four, three...

***

You guys, we did it! We survived three months! WE SURVIVED!

Rock.

GGC

Hats were homemade by my friend (and fellow twin mama) Joy @ freckletree, bloomers are next9, a gift from Rone at Mothering Earthlings and moccs were homemade with love from Susan at Freshly Picked! Thank you, Joy, Rone and Susan!

Captured II (Sponsored & Giveaway)

2011-12-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

The following "captured series" brought to you by Best Buy. Get unbeatable prices on all digital cameras to capture your family memories this holiday season.

There's something flawless in the lawless. This picture of Archer (above) is one of my all-time favorite shots; from the motion of him running, arms open, the seersucker jacket that was JUST too small but not so small he couldn't wear it one last time...

The photo was taken days before Archer's fourth birthday at my Nana's 80th birthday party at a local golf club. Some kids were outside playing golf on the mini-course and we asked if Archer could join them.

Thirty minutes into his time, one of the security officers approached us.

"Is that your son in the jeans?"

"Um, yes?"

"No jeans allowed on the green! He must vacate the premises immediately."

I tried to reason with the guard. Nobody was there! It was just us! They're nice jeans! But it didn't matter.

"I don't make the rules ma'am, I just enforce them. Please don't argue with me or I'll have to call for back-up."

Back-up? HE'S FOUR. And THEY'RE JEANS.

I reluctantly adhered to the security guard's orders, called for Archer to come back inside. He was crushed, of course, and I explained to him that there was a dress code and that...

What's a dress code?

...next time we'd remember to dress him in slacks or khakis or whatever the hell little boys are supposed to wear on golf courses, stupid archaic rule that make no sensewhatsoeverwhatthe....

What's a rule?

And then we talked about rules. Specifically silly rules that seem silly even to adults but how we must follow them anyway. Usually. Not always but usually. It was the first time we discussed what it meant to follow rules, to break them, to understand the sometimes arbitrary nature of rules and laws... of order and when it's important to fall in and out of line. That it's okay to disagree with rules but that there's a time and place to fight them. That one can follow rules but still lead. Break rules and still be ethical.

What's ethical?

He'll be seven in May, which might as well be tomorrow. Seven. He is the most law-abiding rule-adhering person I know and yet, when he grows up he wants to "change things" (specifically the Los Angeles traffic problem).

Spring 2009

Fall, 2011

I often think back to the day on the green, of Archer in jeans and me all pissed off trying to explain to him (and myself) that even when they make very little sense, there are rules that we must follow...

At least until we're older and clever enough to find a way to change them. Archer Sage, I'm looking at you, kid.

***

Your photos are amazing, you guys. I'm having so much fun checking them daily, marveling at how beautiful your families are, your lovely stories. I'll be featuring some of your photos next week and am already completely overwhelmed with the task of picking a winner. I mean... how in the what? If you haven't already but would like to participate for a chance to win a $500 Best Buy gift card c/o my ad network, Federated Media, upload (up to five) photos to flickr.com and tag them #CapturedPhotoContest_GirlsGoneChild. Don't forget to make them "public" so I can see them. For more information see: my last "captured" post. For rules and regs go here. Best of luck and thanks for sharing!

GGC

Liner Notes 12/12

2011-12-12T11:03:00.000-08:00

I don't want to jinx anything and maybe I already have by typing such words, but last night Bo slept a whopping seven hours and I was able to get a much needed five hour sleep, which is more rest than I've had since my mom left. Five hours is everything right now and I woke up feeling tremendously different than I have these last few weeks, an emotional time bomb in a perpetual state of fog. It's not depression so much as exhaustion. I'm typically a very chill person who can navigate life on an even plateau but lately I've been driving uphill, chanting "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" until I hit a pothole and crash into a wall. Even my dreams are full of car accidents, including the one from last night where Blythe Danner was in the driver's seat and I was screaming at her to stop because she kept ramming her Mini Cooper into the pole she insisted was in her blind spot. (I'm sure the Mini Cooper/pole thing was ingrained in my psyche after seeing Young Adult over the weekend and relating to a character I should have hated. Perhaps it was the cabriolet-driving-washed-up-homecoming-queen-defunct-teen-book-series-writer-thing but I spent a good portion of my yesterday wondering if I was actually a terrible person masquerading as a mom with a thousand kids.) Regardless, it was a fantastic movie. Go see it immediately.

Anyway... Sleep.

Last night I slept five straight hours and it wasn't even Bo that woke me up! It was Rev! It was raining all night so I assume that had something to do with my enormous sleep, which leads me to believe that a noise machine might be in the cards. Anyone have one to recommend? ED: Both babes sleep in their crib but I bring them into during their middle-of-the-night feedings and spoon with them until morning, one in each arm. It is by far the coziest thing of all time save for the cramps in both of my shoulders and spit-up stains in the armpits of my pajamas. (Hal's still sleeping on the futon in the office so the babies don't wake him up at 3am/so he doesn't wake them up at 5:30 when his alarm goes off.)

But enough with the rambles. Here are some of my favorite photos from last week:

Bo is the oldest three-month old I know. In fact, posting this picture just reminded me of ANOTHER dream I had last night (See what happens when I ACTUALLY sleep? I dream! How novel!) where Boheme stood up and started walking and I was yelling at her to SIT DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT, YOUNG LADY! YOU ARE AN INFANT CHILD! Except (minus the crying and need for bottles every three hours) she isn't very infant-like. Perhaps that's why I had the dream. Bo exudes this inexplicable maturity. Her energy is very forty-year-old career woman.

"Will I be seeing you at the weekend retreat?"

"Shall we meet at Cheeks Cafe?"

"... I'll be the woman in the pink sweater and blouse."

Later, at Cheeks Cafe:

"I thought you said you'd be wearing a pink blouse."

"Yeah, I went ahead and puked on that. Do you like my shoes? They totally fit me."

...Meanwhile, Revi wins the "smiliest baby of the week" award for outstanding use of happiness:

Meanwhile, part two: at The Napping House...

...Annnnnd wide awake.

Meanwhile, part three: Fable's been wearing her Olivia costume to school because it's adorable and why the hell not?

...And Bo and Rev have been wearing Fable's hand-me-downs:

Socks and shoes aside, every article of clothing in this post belonged to Fable when she was a babe which is awesome for us and fun for Fable.

"This was my coat when I was a baby?"

"It was indeed!"

I'm really enjoying these weekly recap posts, sorting through photos, watching how quickly the girls (who will be three-months old tomorrow) are changing, reflecting on how far we've come even in the last few days. Growing out of clothes and sleep patterns and infancy, learning how to multitask. I even took the babies to the Farmer's Market yesterday all by myself and we all survived! WE SURVIVED!

One of the greatest life lessons I've learned from having twins thus far: if spit up isn't happening from one source...

...it's happening from another.

So long as you clean up the mess to the best of your ability, there's no harm in a little stain.

GGC

An Epilogue in the Form of a Bouquet

2011-12-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

The week after Boheme and Reverie were born, Danielle and Toby got married. And even though I was able to attend her bachelorette weekend, knowing I wouldn't make her wedding was heartbreaking because more than anything, I wanted to be there for her and Tobias, stand behind them, celebrate their love. I wanted to see Dani in her dress and throw flowers and cry over their beauty and happiness and the magic they so effortlessly exude when they're together. Always have.

Toby playing a song at The Piano Bar in Hollywood, 2007

... I wanted to be there to witness the woman I adore marry the man of her dreams.

As anticipated, their wedding was joyous and lively and full of music and laughter and Dani's handmade decorations that she spent months creating, the flags, the table settings, the tent she sewed on her living room floor.

Everyone pitched in to decorate. Her father hung the white lights from the barn and trees. Her friends and cousins dragged driftwood and seaweed in from the beach and built an altar. Magic:

And after they exchanged vows, surrounded by wild flowers and wild things, Tobias performed the song he wrote just for my friend Dani, in front of his family from Copenhagen and hers from California and together, everyone danced until dawn.

"It truly was the greatest day of my life," she said, as we flipped through photos and listened to the song Toby wrote for her, marveled at the bouquet she clutched as she came down the aisle.

Danielle's bouquet

Fast forward to now, to this week, almost three months post-wedding, Danielle and Tobias home from their honeymoon and back to work and life and the reality of driftwood altars being a thing of the past. Of post-wedding comedowns and a living room without a tent to sew. Of married life dressed-down without the champagne...

Dani texted me a photograph yesterday with the words: "I thought you'd appreciate this." In the picture was Dani's dried bouquet hanging from the windowsill... dead and yet... coming back to life? Yes! Somehow amidst the sticks and deceased flowers, the green had returned, new blossoms growing up toward the light. No explanation. No water. Just magic.

I'd never seen anything like it before. "How is that even possible?" and yet there it was, the perfect symbol of love and life and death and the cyclical nature of everything that matters. Of the regenerative quality of love, specifically marriage which is a tough against-the-odds enterprise to be sure.

The flowers were a sign. Not only for them in their early days of marriage but for me, coming up on my seventh year as a wife. Nature is miraculous in its ability to reveal its own poetry, that through time, distance, and against all odds, greenery always find a way to reveal itself, love wins.

GGC

Olay Presents... Defember! (Sponsored)

2011-12-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

We all know about Movember, yes? Well, this year Olay is instituting its first ever "Defember" campaign where women pledge to de-'stache (de-fuzz) in support of Breast Cancer research and the National Breast Cancer Foundation, which promotes early breast cancer detection and offers free mammograms for women in need.

(For every woman that pledges to defuzz in Defember on Olay’s Facebook page, Olay will donate $1 to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, up to $50,000.)

Yesterday I played around with MISStache Swap on Facebook, which boasts a wide variety of mustaches to choose from. Since I've been told my whole I look like my father, I couldn't NOT chose the "Larry Woolf" model mustache to pin to my profile pic. Damn, if it isn't strapping:

(apparently my dad loves him a red polo?)

Hello.

Hi there.

...And speaking of hi, hello and Larry Woolf mustaches, here is a picture of my parents the summer they met and fell in love at UCSD. My dad was a graduate student and my mom was a smitten twenty-year-old who looks so adorkable in this picture I could die.

Aw.

...It's my favorite photo ever and lives permanently on my desk where I sit typing this so NATURALLY I had to include it in this here post about 'staches. (My dad has NEVER not had a mustache. Ever. After wearing one for two hours I can say with authority that THAT is some serious commitment, people!)

***

And speaking of commitment: pledge to support Breast Cancer research whilst removing your "miss-stache" here. Big ups to Olay for sponsoring this post and fundraising for such a noble cause.

GGC

Gone Style: Postpartum Style Dos and Don'ts

2011-12-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

Today on Girl's Gone Child (and everywhere else, apparently) I'm "exposing" another postpartum fashion tip (See: hot pink lipstick for tip #1). The following is one of several videos I shot with kin community last month, featuring my hot pink thong yet again. And yes, my hot pink thong is feeling extremely smug these days. Smug and tight and unflattering. Oh well. I think it's important for women to recognize that a good postpartum ass was not built in one day. Or six weeks. Or six months. Or sixteen months. It's perfectly natural (and okay!) to look a little doughy after giving birth. Our bodies just made humans, you guys! We should be celebrating our muffin tops! Quietly? Under a loose-fitted tunic? ED: After watching this video I'm thinking a pair of calf-covering boots may be a more flattering choice than a booty which draws attention to the thickness of the thigh/thinness of ankle differential e = mc2.

I'll be rolling out more of my kin videos in the weeks/days to come as well as featuring some of my favorite videos from other contributors. (Cough, Bethany Winters, cough!) In the meantime you can subscribe to kin, here.

GGC

Thing of the Week: Argan & Aloe

2011-12-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

For the last two years I've been using the same two products every morning when I wake and again, every night before I go to bed.

Josie Maran Argan Cleansing Oil, $32

DDF Aloe Toner, $35

(my skin has never looked better)

I was unsure about the "oil" cleanser at first because my skin is of the oily variety, but my friend Polly (who was working with Josie Maran at the time) insisted I give it a spin and I have not NOT used it since. The DDF toner was something I first tried at Mighty Summit in 2009 and have used daily for the last two years. Dig it.

GGC

This has nothing to do with face wash, I know, but I have two new posts up on my Babble Voices blog. One is about Rebecca Black (Friday) and the other is about @SantaClaus and @how he's @changed @since @we @were @kids. xx

Eat Well: The Gift of Garam Masala

2011-12-07T09:59:00.000-08:00

The following post was written by my mom, WWW. Thanks mom!

I know it's December and I should be thinking about new holiday meals and such, but for some reason, living out of one suitcase for two months while living with Rebecca has me thinking about how to do everything simpler and that includes the holidays. All I have felt like doing since I got home is cleaning out closets, recycling and getting rid of a lifetime of accumulated stuff. (Speaking of STUFF, if you haven’t ever seen George Carlin’s routine on it, you must. It's my favorite routine from my favorite comedian.)

One way to simplify your holiday baking is to pick one recipe that is your favorite and let it become your signature food. It should be something you LOVE to make, not something that is a chore. As soon as it becomes drudgery, the whole meaning is lost. Years ago I streamlined my baking by sticking to my all time favorite candy, English Toffee.

I posted about it last year, but for those who missed it, this is the BEST candy ever, is SOOOO EASY, and makes great gifts!

Of course, your signature holiday food doesn’t have to be traditional. If you love dehydrating apples, why not give packages of those as holiday gifts? If it’s roasted nuts or caramel corn you like, make those! Lately I've been cooking lots of Indian food and this week made my own Garam Masala spice blend. I bought the spices in bulk from Sprouts (I know they are fresh because it is a high volume store), toasted them in my cast iron pan, and ground them up in a spice grinder (coffee grinder used exclusively for spices). I plan to write up a few of my favorite Indian recipes and attach them to a package of my homemade spice blend.

Garam Masala means “hot spices” and is made from a mixture of toasted spices which are then ground. Common spices used in garam masala are peppercorns, fennel, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, cumin seeds, coriander, ginger, dried chilies, mace, and nutmeg. In northern India, each household has their own favorite recipe. You can have fun figuring out what you like and in which combination. Here is a basic recipe that I found in Indian Home Cooking by Suvir Saran and Stephanie Lyness. You can change the proportions according to your taste, or add fennel seed and nutmeg for a different flavor.

Garam Masala

1 cinnamon stick, broken into pieces

2 bay leaves

¼ cup cumin seeds

¼ cup coriander seeds

1 rounded tablespoon green cardamom pods

1 rounded tablespoon black peppercorns

2 teaspoons whole cloves

1 whole dried red chile

1/8 teaspoon ground mace

Combine all ingredients but the mace in a frying pan and toast over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the cumin turns uniformly brown, 4 to 5 minutes.

Put into a spice grinder and grind to a powder. Add the mace and store in an airtight container. This will keep for 3-4 months.

You can use the garam masala as a flavoring for dips (use yogurt and sour cream half and half and add maybe a little onion or garlic) or add it at the last minute to curries, lentils, or vegetable dishes.

Here is a wonderful recipe for cauliflower using garam masala:

Cauliflower with yogurt

(Inspired by Indian Home Cooking)

1/3 cup canola oil

1 medium head cauliflower, cored and cut into small florets

1 teaspoon cumin seeds

1 small onion cut into ½ inch dice

1 bell pepper, green or red, (or 2 Anaheim chiles) thinly sliced and cut in half

1 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 tablespoon chopped ginger

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 teaspoons garam masala

2 teaspoons ground cumin

½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 ½ cups plain yogurt (not low fat)

¼ cup chopped cilantro

1 tomato, finely chopped

Heat the oil in a large frying pan over medium high heat. Add the cauliflower and cook, stirring often, until lightly browned, about 10 minutes.

Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.

Add the cumin seeds to the oil and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the onion and salt and cook until the onion turns brown around the edges, about 5 minutes. Add the pepper, garlic, and ginger and cook a few minutes. Add the ground cumin, garam masala, cayenne, and yogurt and cook, stirring, 2 minutes. Add the tomato and the cooked cauliflower and cook, stirring, 5 more minutes.

Taste for seasoning and add more if needed.

Add cilantro and serve hot.

***

What are some of your favorite food(s) to give as gifts? I'd love to hear from you!

Love,

WWW

Carded! (Shutterfly winner chosen! Woo!)

2011-12-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

The following post/series/hot giveaway action was sponsored by Shutterfly. Send holiday joy with with a custom card from Shutterfly. Hooray!

As you can see, I went with a completely different card than "what fun" (even though it WAS and still is my favorite) because one family photo just would not (could not!) do and I wanted to capture the essence of our little-humongous brood. And yes, I just used the word "essence". Essssssence. Anyway and without further ado...

...the winner of the Shutterfly + camera prize pack isssss... commenter #686, Mary! Hooray for Mary!

Thank you to all who participated! This was a really fun one for me and BONUS, pushed my ass to finally finish our holiday card. Now to find the time to send the thing...

GGC

The Redshirts are coming! The redshirts are coming!

2011-12-06T06:04:00.000-08:00

Back when we shot this Momversation we also shot this one (see below) about whether or not one should "redshirt" ie "hold their kid back" a year before sending them off to Kindergarten to give them an academic advantage. As the mother of a child who was born ONE DAY after the new California cut-off, I'm more annoyed that I have to pay for an extra year of preschool tuition. Fable will be one of the oldest in her class and if the rumors are true that California will be moving its cut-off day to September 1st in a couple years, Boheme and Reverie will also be on the old side of their class. Or so I thought until Daphne brought this whole redshirting thing to my attention:

Apparently there are parents who are like, "forget that my kid is ready for Kindergarten I'm gonna make him THE READIEST OF ALL, RAAAAAAH!"

It kind of goes back to my post on super competitive preschool parenting. Just because your kid is the oldest in the class doesn't mean he's going to be the readiest. Case in point: Doogie Howser, Ronan Farrow and my brother, David.

Obviously, this is a case by case situation much like everything else that exists in life but the idea that parents are holding their kids back even when they know their kids are ready, because they read Outliers and "Malcolm Gladwell said so..." is craziness.

What do you guys think? Do you have an opinion on this thing? And to clarify, I totally respect parents who hold their kids back because their kids aren't ready. I would likely do the same.

GGC

Captured! (Sponsored + Contest Giveaway)

2011-12-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

This Captured Series is brought to you by Best Buy. Get unbeatable prices on all digital cameras to capture your family memories this holiday season.

The first firefly I ever saw was in New Jersey. I was five or six at the time and remember clear as day that first night, in my cousin's backyard, mason jar in hand, sweaty palms, the air balmy and bloated with the kind of eastern humidity my west-coast self was not used to. That feeling of seeing and chasing and trying to capture while the fly while it's "on fire" is exactly how I feel taking photographs, specifically of my family. Which brings to me the first and one of my all-time favorite images ever taken... singing, "baby you're a fiiiiiirefly.." And indeed this photo was.

I took this picture of Archer and Fable Thanksgiving, 2008 when Fable was about the same age as Boheme and Reverie (two months) and Archer was a few months older than Fable (3 1/2).

I remember the moment clearly. Archer had asked to hold his sister and when I placed her on his lap she smiled. But it was the one picture of them NOT smiling that took my breath away. It was the first time Archer and Fable looked like partners. Like, "don't mess with us, we have each other's backs" and three years later that is still and absolutely the case.

This was the picture that launched a thousand moments, the beginning of the bond Archer and Fable so clearly hold and even as I type this now, in a room across the hall from the bedroom they share, I can hear them whispering back and forth between their beds, these SAME children in the picture, now reading stories with babies in their laps, Archer's eyes full of the same intensity and pride in big-brotherdom:

That's what I love about taking pictures: So many questions behind the lens, so many answers in front of it. Like spotting a moment, flashing in the dark, and in an instant, trapping it with eager hands.

***

I'm partnering with my ad network, Federated Media, to offer a $500 Best Buy gift card to those of you interested in sharing some of your favorite family photographs. Just upload your photo(s) to flickr.com and tag them with #CapturedPhotoContest_GirlsGoneChild. Be sure to make them "public" so I can see them. You may submit up to FIVE photos between now and December 24th, when the contest ends. I'll be judging them based on creativity, image quality and storytelling-through-family-photo ability and contacting the winner through flickr mail. In the meantime, I'll be posting some of my faves here on GGC, contest rules and regulations are here. Oh and I'd also love to hear the story behind your images so if you feel so inclined please share. Can't wait to see your photos! Good luck!

GGC

Liner Notes 12/4

2011-12-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

girl talk

This week Bo and Rev before their maiden voyage in the side-by-side Maclaren (Twin Triumph). We came back inside approximately two minutes later because a wind storm was knocking the fronds off the local palms (not ideal) but for a moment, it was pretty fun seeing the lil' ladies sit side by side, their differences even more pronounced.

... the girls will be three-months next week. THREE WHOLE MONTHS!

Bo knows: smiles

This week I went to see about another Steve, except this "Steve" was not a rental. He was an Essssssteban and he was for sale. I even went so far as to tour Estaban with our Real Estate Agent and as I type this, am compiling the necessary docs to go over loan possibilities with our mortgage broker which seems like the most adult thing of all time for some reason. After spending the last two months looking at Steves we're starting to think that purchasing an Esteban may be a better plan. More on that as soon as I have... more on that. In the meantime, here's a glimpse of Esteban #1, who is very 1920's Spanish handsome on the outside but on the inside has him some serious baggage requiring therapy in the form of a full-on kitchen renovation, etc. Still. Dude has perfect bones.

In other news, Reverie is still the easiest baby of all time.

"My name is Fable. I like to dance."

I spent all day Saturday with my friend, Dani who insisted on wearing one of the babies at all times, even in the dressing room of Zara, where we spent an hour plus trying on roped cardigans in every color. It's a really lovely feeling knowing your friends love your children and your children love them back. Also lovely? Being able to get out of the house with someone happily willing to stop every block on a walk to adjust blankets and clean pacifiers and rock babies to sleep in line at Starbucks... Dani's like a thirty-year old version of my mom which is pretty much the greatest compliment I could think to give a person.

with Bo

...and Rev

Boheme and Reverie started laughing this week, those little baby giggles that sound like super-hiccups and make you want to cry because they're so damn beautiful.

Another exciting thing that happened this week: Reverie started sleeping through the night (EIGHT HOURS x three nights = woohoo!) If only Bo was interested in following her sister's lead. (Come on, Bo! You can do it! Bo-oh! Bo-oh! Bo-oh!)

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

xoxo

For Michal, Jay, Reverie and Jackson

2011-12-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

In the last few days, several of you have brought to my attention the story of the Snyder twins and the passing of their mother during childbirth. Her name was Michal (the girl) Friedman and her twins were born last weekend, one of them named Reverie. I spent the last few days imagining our parallel lives, of two Reveries forming on either coast, of carrying twins simultaneously and all the pain and excitement and fear that happens during that time. I can't not feel a connection to this woman, a stranger, and her family. I'm overcome with grief for her, frustrated that I can sit here and watch my babies coo and flail and she cannot.

The last thing I want to do is make anyone sad or scared of childbirth... which is why I went back and forth on whether to post about this family who I do not know. Except, I couldn't not. Twins are an expensive and overwhelming production under normal circumstances and I cannot imagine not rallying around her husband Jay, Reverie and Jackson now that I know that they exist. It breaks me that Michal will never know the sleepless nights I so frustratingly curse. That she will never know how beautiful her children are. That my Reverie has a mother and hers does not.

We are all so SO lucky to be here. Sosososososoinfinity lucky.

GGC

You can donate to Jay, Reverie and Jackson here. Thank you.

Thing of the Week: Hot Pink Lipstick

2011-12-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

Because you guys asked, a quick postpartum beauty-tip for my fellow "breeders" who cannot fit into their pre-pregnancy clothes, don't have the time to apply a full face of makeup and are in need of a little pick-me-up: HOT PINK LIPSTICK!

... It's like an anti-depressant for your face. For fifteen buckaroos. I bought it on a whim when I was pregnant and cannot get enough. It makes me feel REBORN! (It's what I was wearing, here actually. Although in the picture, it looked red. Psyche, it's not!) I'm typically afraid of lipstick and prefer Burts Bees (in watermelon) and heavy eyes (for those who recently inquired, I have some old and very loooong eye-makeup tutorials I did a few years back) but time has not been my bestie as of late so I'm leaving eyes bare and going for color. I have green eyes so pink lipstick really brings them out and so long as I'm not wearing makeup anywhere else it almost looks subtle. Kind of?

wearing "Impassioned" by MAC

(and my trusty ERGO where a baby permanently resides.)

Tune in next week when I confess my undying love for a face wash that changed my life. And no, this is not sponsored. I just love me some makeup. And other such things that make me feel attractive in my current state of unattractive-feeling-ness. Postpartum hormones are bastahds.

GGC

ED: WWW will be back in action next week. December is when things get wonky in the posting department. Pardon our appearance as we brace for holiday insanicraziness.

* "impassioned" lipstick image via makeupandbeautyblog

Mix Tape is BACK in action! (101/100)

2011-11-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

Because you asked, I'm bringing the GGC Mix Tape project back, hooray! Hope you enjoy this sassy little number made especially for the at-desk-dancer in the house. Take it away, sexy mod chicks with fabulous eye-makeup and Peter Pan collars!

101. He's Not a Boy by: The Like

Acoustic version found here. Warning: it's dreamy.

GGC

Words with Friends: Beth

2011-11-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

The following post is the second of two posts sponsored by the American Cancer Society's More Birthdays Campaign . 100% of the proceeds of this post will be donated to Lymphoma-fighting charities on Beth's behalf.

I first met Beth in 2003, when she was out visiting from D.C. (that rhymed). My friend Dana introduced us and I've been lucky enough to stay in touch with her ever since. Beth is one of the most generous people I've ever known and meeting her for lunch, or coffee or a drink when she comes to town is enough to keep me vibrating on a higher frequency for days. The woman personifies what it means to fight hard and fair for what you believe in and do so with grace humor and the strength of a thousand fists, which is why she's such a successful organizer for worker's rights, as well as the object of admiration for so many, myself included. I've always felt incredibly blessed to know her and right now, that feeling is at an all-time high because girlfriend is a true force to be reckoned with. Clearly "Cancer" has no idea who he's messing with.

Name: Beth

Friend since: 2003

Type of Cancer: Stage 4, Grade 3 Follicular Lymphoma

Diagnosed: July, 2011

Age: 36

GGC: First of all, you are Beth and you are awesome. Can you tell the folks at home a little about who you are and what you do and what kinds of things make you happy?

Beth: I am a sensible, 36 year old, Midwestern lady living in the very unsensible East. I do social justice work and am frustrated to have cancer and be less active during this incredible time where the dialogue about class and corporate control is happening in our streets. I like pets, good meals, and giving gifts to the people I love.

GGC: When were you diagnosed with cancer and what have your treatments been like since?

Beth: I was diagnosed in July and my awesome oncologist quickly got our treatment plan together and set me up with a great team of radiologists and others to make sure we beat the fuck out of this disease. I’m on R-CHOP, a chemo cocktail that is a 7-8 hour infusion every three weeks followed by 5 days of 500mg of the steroid predisone. The predisone is really awful: can’t sleep, makes me sick, moody, and generally unpleasant to live with.

The worst part of chemo has been getting admitted to the hospital one week after every treatment with neutropenic fever. Basically, my white blood counts drop to dangerously low levels and I can’t fight infections so the doc likes me to be hooked up to the things that fight that sort of thing. I like living, so we just roll with it as much as possible.

GGC: Professionally, your job is to empower, unite and organize. I wonder, then, if your work experience in kicking-that-ass has enabled you to kick cancer's ass with the same aplomb. YOU are your union, you know?

Beth: I think it gives me a way to look at the treatment process differently than most people, because I’ve been trained to be action oriented and I make strategic campaign plans for the most seemingly unwinnable battles. I wrote a cancer plan that is complete with goals, strategies, and tactics for surviving and coming out as a better person. That plan* is my foundation, I try to read it most everyday and remind myself of what I haven’t accomplished yet and take some credit for my successes so far.

I also think that because most of my support system are also organizers, they approach helping me with a plan and aren’t scared off by something as awful as cancer. I mean, they aren’t even scared of Walmart.

I was reminded of the coolest thing about my army of a support system when a coworker/friend said, “solidarity isn’t just for picket lines.” That just sums up the way my particular breed approaches life.

*MY GOALS:

1. Survive

2. Come out with Deeper Relationships/More fulfilling life in general

3. Come out feeling more capable/better/improved

4. Maintain realistically positive outlook

5. Maintain a balanced/Healthy Lifestyle

GGC: It took several months for it to actually hit you that you had cancer, a moment you wrote (on your blog) was very transformative for you. Can you explain?

Beth: I’ll try. I think when I first got diagnosed I was trying to manage everyone else’s reactions and concerns. I got a bit stuck there. I think I had sold myself this reality that I was just going through some shit and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I thought that I was making it so that other people didn’t have to worry about me, but really I just wasn’t worrying about myself. I think it was probably pretty healthy and necessary to protect myself from the real fucking possibility that this thing could kill me.

Recently, I had a visit from a large group of old friends and wound up spending the bulk of their visit in the hospital. It just destroyed me. I hated not being in control of it. I lost it. I was completely powerless. I let myself be alone with those thoughts and that real understanding that this life is totally fucking awesome and I didn’t want to be taken from it or from this incredible group of people that love me.

That rawness and pain brought me into this new perspective that is making me appreciate what I have so much more than I ever did before. I’m embarrassed by how much I still take for granted, but I am trying to slow down and respect what I have more now. That exercise is making me feel more in control than I ever have before.

I’m not sure if any of that makes sense. I guess it is facing the fact that there are very few things that we actually have control over, and to stop pretending or trying to control the ones we don’t is liberating and empowering.

GGC: What's it like to lose your hair? And when it comes back, what are your plans for styling? (Ha!)

Beth: I thought I was prepared for losing it. I had shaved my head before, you know, I was once a college lesbian. But in actuality, I was so totally unprepared for it. When it started to fall out, I felt so weak. I was not in control and that mattered a bunch to me, so I immediately shaved it off. Back in control.

I’m lucky, I have a really nice head for bald. But I also got a gorgeous and totally pricey custom wig made in New York that makes me look just like my old self when I care enough to wear it.

I hope it grows back different, maybe straight and blonde or really curly and red. I have heard that can happen. I’m also hoping that my friends (read: you) will help me learn to be a real girl after all of these years and teach me how to style my hair. If that doesn’t work out, I’m going to go full on butch, with a seriously badass pompadour.

GGC: You also wrote about "control" and that it's okay for us to remind ourselves that NONE of us are in control. That we might "...get robbed of some really important times with really important people.” That it's okay to be pissed the fuck off because cancer is a total dick. And yet, by reading your blog it sounds like relinquishing control helped you gain some. How has feeling powerless empowered you?

Beth: I feel totally powerless. Even with the good news this week on my PET scan, I know that it can come back with full force in just a few weeks time. Really though, I could get into a car accident or slip and fall and have an aneurism. While that is totally scary, it does allow me opportunity to just live in the present.

Cancer sucks so bad, and I’m more likely to die earlier with this diagnosis, and that means I’ll lose some amazing moments. I think in actuality, I haven’t enjoyed many moments fully in my life because I’ve been preoccupied with the past and future, or whatever is on television.

This powerlessness has given me permission to slow down and live a little bit more, definitely makes me feel more in control. At least for now.

GGC: How has this experience changed your relationships? With your friends? Family? Girlfriend? How has it changed your relationship with yourself?

Beth: My relationships overall are more honest. I’ve always used humor to deflect when things get a bit too real and deep. It’s a common coping mechanism I think for people who don’t totally trust themselves. At least that’s why I think I do it.

I very rarely open up with my friends and family about the things that bother/scare/intimidate me. When I made the cancer plan, one of the main tactics for accomplishing my goals was to trust. Its so much harder to do than to write on an excel spreadsheet.

Starting the blog was supposed to be a way to disseminate info, so that it wouldn’t be such a pain to have to explain to so many people one on one. It very quickly became a way for me to process and open up with the people who care about me, or at least bother to follow along.

My relationship with my girlfriend has gotten so much better, I let her take care of me now when I need it. It’s amazing what some equity and openness will do for a relationship.

My relationship with myself is harder to know. I’m not sure, I feel a bit stronger emotionally. Not because I’m fighting cancer really, just because I’m choosing to fight the demons that have been keeping me from truly living. Though knowing my demons and writing about them on the internet doesn’t make them go away, and in some ways, that exposure and vulnerability make me feel weak. Check back in a few months for an update on this.

While it seems cheesy and too sincere for me, I have to say that I think cancer overall has been a gift. I feel more in touch with my life and more comfortable in my own skin. Except for the effects of chemo, which are completely uncomfortable and awful.

GGC. As of yesterday you are *this* close to being cancer-free. How do you plan to live differently? Or is your plan not to plan? Will you be going to Disneyland? Turning your wigs into a modern art piece? Let's hear it.

Beth: ...Unfortunately, my road ahead has 2 more chemo treatments followed by a bone marrow transplant that will require many weeks in the hospital and roughly 6 months total out of work/life. Ick.

I definitely have a plan. I want to get back deep into work and figure out what parts of my job that aren’t specifically about conflict and try to spend more time doing them. Constant conflict is hard on the soul. Additionally, I will continue with my cancer plan in my post cancer life, maybe even add a few new goals.

As far as vacations/adventures, we’d like to take a California trip for a few weeks where we spend time traveling the coast and seeing friends when chemo is done. After the bone marrow transplant, I’d really like to go to Greece.

GGC: Describe the last three months in 140 characters or less.

Beth: Junior Soprano called cancer "the Big Casino." Jackpot so far: visits with friends, delicious meals, and copious vomiting.

GGC: Lastly, if you could give your pre-Cancer self life advice, what would it be?

Beth:

Dear Beth of July 2011,

I have some advice for you. Trust the people that you have surrounded yourself with. There are no bad days that won’t be made better by telling someone ALL about it. Your friends will make it better and keep you laughing. And say thank you more, you damn heathen.

Love,

Beth of November 2011

(Thank you, Beth, for sharing your life with us. You win and I love you.)

... Beth is blogging her journey to cancer-freedom, here.

GGC

Liner Notes 11/28

2011-11-28T09:38:00.000-08:00

We took our first sojourn as a family of six this weekend, eight if you include the dogs and it went surprisingly smoothly. We woke up early Thursday morning after packing up the car the night before, fed the babies and then loaded up the van. Two hours later we were at my parents' house where we spent the long weekend. Here are a "few" snaps from our time with family and friends, most notably Reverie and Boheme's first introduction to my childhood stomping grounds and some of our favorite haunts:

painting at ~~Quail Gardens~~ San Diego Botanic Gardens

I grew up in (the garden formally known as) Quail and every time we take the trek home to Encinitas we bring the kids. (If you're ever in Southern California I wholeheartedly recommend it. Better than any Zoo, the gardens overlook the ocean on one side and on the other boast a treehouse that will blow your kids' (and your) mind. It's like a wonderland of wonderfulness.) One of our favorite things to do during the holidays is attend their Garden of Lights with the whole family. If you live locally, GO.

Bo, meeting cousin Zanna for the first time

Reverie with my Nana, her Nana-na.

The babies got to meet some new friends and old family, including one of my childhood besties who is expecting her third son any day now.

With Meredith & baby Quinn

Oh, hello.

With her Gigi (of triplet fame)

The hat was a gift. Pretty insane, right? Insane in a good (insane) way.

This was as close as we came to a family portrait.

Fable looks so old in these pictures it kind of blows my mind. I guess that's what happens when you have a new baby, your old baby suddenly looks... like an old baby.

four generations

The drive home was just as shockingly successful as the drive south. We managed to squeeze two adults, four kids, two dogs (one of them, 90 lbs) and 789749283 duffle bags BACK into our minivan, Tetris style. Odyssey, indeed.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend full of food, family and friends. Every day I feel more thankful for this space and all of your wonderful voices. Oh and P.S. Caught Smiling, Reverie edition:

GGC

The Art of Being Older

2011-11-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

Archer calls it "lifeguarding", the need to look after and teach, to sing and rock and sit with. He told me the other day, as we stood rocking the babies to sleep side by side, a bottle in his lap and one in mine that he "had it under control", that I could go back to work if I needed to because he had this. I almost believed him. When the babies finally dozed off I put them in their crib side by side and left the room. Not Archer. Archer pushed his stool to the side of their bed and watched.

"A lifeguard doesn't leave," he said.

Yesterday Fable told me she wanted to be a doctor when she grows up, so she can take care of babies. I wondered if that came from our just spending a long afternoon at the doctor's office, the babies in for their two-month shots and check up. (Bo was a whopping 11lbs 4oz and Rev was 9lbs 6.) She told me that she wanted to be the "night kind of doctor" and I thought back to those weeks in the NICU, a thousand years ago/ yesterday when Hal drove Archer and Fable through the darkness to visit the babies and me. We were all a little nervous then. A little scared and protective. The fear is gone now but the protective never went away.

I used to think that the more children a family had, the less time and energy they'd have to care for them because how can one mother possibly dote on all those children? When we found out we were having twins, that was my biggest fear. How could I possibly be a decent mother to FOUR? It is clear to me now, not only how big families "survive" but also how they flourish. When Archer was a baby, Hal and I were his everything. But Boheme and Reverie have this:

As an older sister, it took having children of my own to understand my role, my influence and responsibility. But now, watching our four together, it's like watching miniature adults redefining what it means to be "big". And even on the days I feel lost, trying to recognize myself in the reflection of all these eyes, I am found because of them. Because somehow they always know to come to my rescue. Before I even think to ask, they are here.

In Archer's Thankful Book at school, he wrote about being thankful for "his twins". Because as much as they are mine and Hal's, they are his. Fable's too. How lucky Bo and Rev are to have such doting lifeguards...

... How lucky I am to have them too.

GGC