how to raise a better rejector (and be one, too)

If you were to search "the art of rejecting," which I have just now done, you will find 34,700,000 results. The only problem? They're mostly about how to deal with "REJECTION," not how to be a better "REJECTOR." This is problematic to me.

It's problematic because, like many other human beings out there, I have struggled my whole life with SAYING NO. I am actually really good at it now but only because I HAVE WORKED and WORKSHOPPED and matured into a scrappy no-shit-taker in my old age.  In fact, I'm experiencing a bit of a NOPE-AISSANCE in my ability to reject things/people/ideas I think are full of shit. I am also still recovering from many of the instances I should have said no but said yes. That said, my inability to say NO was, for many years, a struggle for me.

Because...

A. I didn't want to hurt any feelings.
B. I didn't want to burn any bridges.
C. I was afraid people would think I was a bitch/too cool for school/the worst

I have seen many people post about the importance of raising "nice" kids... and while I agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY in modeling empathy, kindness and preaching GOODNESS above all else, I also believe that children must also be taught that IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE NICE SOMETIMES. And it's our job -- as parents -- to equip our babies with the tools to REJECT.

At the same time that I am working on being a better No-er, I am helping my kids find ways to be better No-ers, too.

Peer pressure is a huge fear of mine -- specifically peer pressure in these modern days of social media.

What happens if someone sends you a naked picture?

What happens if someone TELLS you to send a naked picture?

What happens if all of your friends are sending naked pictures?

What happens if your friend is asked to send a naked picture?

What happens if you overhear a group of people trying to convince a girl to send a picture?

My son recently got his first phone. He's 11, in middle school and wanted to be able to communicate with his friends without using my phone. Over the summer, at the height of the Pokemon Go craze, he came home from camp and asked if he could download Pokemon Go.

I asked him why he wanted to.

"Because all of my friends have it," was his answer.

That opened up a very long, very (in my opinion) much needed dialogue about ALLLLLL OF THE TIMES he's going to THINK he wants to do things because EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING THEM.

We talked about how POWERFUL group think is and how challenging it is to step out of line and think for oneself. Especially when you're a teenager. I told him about the many times I asked for things because I thought I should -- all of the times I did things because everyone else was -- and all the times I went along with things because I didn't know how to say no or worse, I didn't WANT TO SAY NO and risk offending, embarrassing, making someone else feel uncomfortable.

I gave him 24 hours to come up with a better reason to convince me.

He did.

I explained to him that I will only consider saying yes to something he wants  if it is really something HE WANTS --not something he feels he needs to get because others have or want it.

That said, it's one thing  to talk about peer pressure and quite another to actually access the tools needed in order to bow out of a not-okay moment. One must have basic training in order to know how to handle people and situations that NEED TO BE REJECTED.

One must be willing to deal with the ramifications of being called  "a bitch" or an "asshole" or a "pussy" or a "loser" or a "fraud."

ED: I was recently at a coffee shop, having a meeting with a colleague, when a man approached us and interrupting our conversation, asked us if he could buy us a piece of coffee cake.

"It's THE BEST coffee cake, " he said. "You two can share."

"I'm okay," I said. She agreed.

"No thanks!"

We rejected him in the MOST polite way possible and while he was clearly NOT OKAY with the rejection, he walked away.

AND THEN CAME BACK.

"You don't understand," he said. "IT'S REALLY GOOD COFFEE CAKE."

That's when something shifted in me.

"NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE DON'T WANT YOUR COFFEE CAKE, DUDE."

"Well, I'm just going to buy it for you anyway. You don't have to eat it..."

"PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE."

It occurred to me later that day that even five years ago, I would have taken the cake. I would have eaten the cake as not to offend or make a scene. I would have said yes to something that made me feel uncomfortable because, well, it's easier that way.

That broke my heart.

I thought back to all the times I had eaten someone's shitty coffee cake to make it EASIER ON THEM and hard on myself. I thought about all of the times I chose to be "nice" instead of real. I thought about all of the times I was unable to reject even when my body was SCREAMING for me to do so.

I can't change the past. I cannot take back all the times I got into cars I shouldn't have. Wandered off with strangers when I didn't want to. Ate the cake when I didn't want to eat the cake. But I can do everything in my power to empower my children to be OKAY, or at the very least MORE OKAY THAN I WAS, at saying No.

Because:

A. It's okay to hurt someone's feelings if it means standing up for others and yourself.
B. Sometimes bridges must be burned in order to forge new paths.
C. You will never be liked by everyone. Someone will always think you're the worst.

And so. Here is how I'm attempting to raise artists of rejection.

Back-to-School with Stranger Things

I know, I know. Another blogger weighing in on Stranger Things with a think piece... or should I say a THING piece. But I can't not say something about this show -- especially because, this might just be the first time in my entire life that I've:

A. Watched something scary.

I don't watch scary/violent anythings ever. I can't even with Game of Thrones. I think it's despicable. Walking Dead? You would have to pay me huge sums of cash to even THINK about watching such filth! That said, I will pretty much watch anything that is teen drama related--ESPECIALLY period teen dramas that focus on the trials and tribulations of suburban tweens and teenagers. And while I was but a toddler in the early 80s, I know that world. I grew up with E.T. And Goonies. And smocked dresses and Huffys.  You got me, Stranger Things. You had me at de de de de de de de de...

B. Binge watched something this fast.

Hal and I watched Stranger Things over the course of a few days and now I'm all end-of-summer balmy with thoughts -- and in the case of today's post, attempts to draw parallels between Stranger Things and parents (and older kids/teenagers) preparing for back-to-school. Oh and P.S. THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOUNG CHILDREN AT ALL. THIS SHOW IS FOR ADULTS OR OLDER TEENAGE CHILDREN. (Common Sense Media says 14+ and that seems accurate.)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD:

***

NAVIGATING BACK-TO-SCHOOL WITH

LESSONS LEARNED FROM STRANGER THINGS

1. The Upside Down is basically The Internet 

A dangerous place that is essentially the inverse of real life? Where scary things can snatch you up and feed on your very soul? A place that is very hard to escape once you're in? I mean, let this be a cautionary tale, my darlings. THE INTERNET IS A MONSTER.

Not all the time, mind you. But here are some helpful (hopefully) tips for parents and children who are new to social media/the Internet.

- Keep social media accounts private.

I personally believe every child has his/her right to their own privacy and do not believe in snooping through text messages/etc. I do believe in non-judgmental communication and being super open and honest with my own social media/teenage missteps and mistakes. Being the example, in my experience, is always the best way to guide.

- Put time limits on social media - limiting screen time at night.

This is pretty self-explanatory but important to reiterate. Teenagers need A LOT OF sleep and studies are finding that these days (I just shook my cane in the air), they're unable to unplug and get the rest they need. Keeping phones out of bedrooms is a great way to enforce better sleep habits. (For parents, too.)

- Have the Internet porn conversation

If your kid has been on the Internet for longer than a week, there's a good chance he/she has stumbled into Internet pornland. More than once. If you're not talking to your kids about Internet porn, you really need to think about doing so. And regardless of whether you have parent controls on your own Internet/your kids devices, you cannot parent control everything. (Just because you have Hustler magazines underneath your bed, doesn't mean your kid's BFF's parents haven't hidden theirs.)

You can start by asking your kid(s) if they have ever seen anything they didn't understand online and go from there. For me, talking about Internet porn is very similar to talking to kids about ALL THINGS THAT ARE NOT REAL.

Just because it looks like people are enjoying themselves, doesn't mean they are.

Sex is something you will want to do someday but this IS NOT SEX in the same way science fiction books are not real life and talking animals are not real. 

Also, here's a GREAT RESOURCE for talking to your kids about Internet Pornography. 

- Discuss "likes" and their effect on social media users (of all ages and genders).

Likes are the worst. I wish there was a way we could select NO on making them available because they CAN ONLY NEGATIVELY affect. That said, they are a reality for anyone who uses social media.

- Model positive social media skills. 

How often are you on Instagram? At what time of night do you turn it off? What kinds of things do you post? And how would you feel if your child was posting the same things? All important questions to ask, I think.

2. T(w)eenage girls are the most powerful human beings in the world

This is important for both boys and girls to recognize and not in a sexist-toward-boys kind of way. Girl power is real and it affects boys (and men) in ways that even boys (and men) don't fully understand. This is why TALKING to our daughters about their power over their own lives AS WELL AS BOYS is important.

Typically, media shows girls as boy-crazy lunatics, but the fact of the matter is, boys are THE EXACT SAME WAY but aren't given diaries to write about it or love songs or games like MASH to play in the PE locker room (Do people play MASH? Did I just make that up?) Hell, boys aren't really given any outlet at all.

The truth is, in the same way teenage girls are struggling with their own sexuality and pressures therein, teenage boys are, too. A lot of boys don't know what to say to girls or how to say it and are modeled (care of music/movies/media) pretty horribly sexist shit.

As a teenage girl, I knew I had power. And as the mother of a soon-to-be-teenage son, I am only NOW seeing what life looks like from his POV and while I believe that all girls, teenage or not, should own their power, we need to give our boys the tools to better navigate their feelings about that power.

3. Assholes "slut"shame. Don't be an asshole

This goes for parents of teenagers as much as it does for teenagers, themselves. NEVER define nor degrade a girl based on WHAT SHE DOES AND DOES NOT DO SEXUALLY. EVER. If you have a problem with someone because of the way they provocatively dress, don't say so out loud in front of your young children. You are merely reinforcing that it's okay for them to do the same. (One can express worry about other children/teenagers behavior without shaming other children/teenagers.) Also, calling out women (or girls) for their sexual prowess (falsified OR real And let's be real, A LOT OF WHAT IS SAID during the teenage years is rumor-laden and falsified.) Saying or acting negatively toward a girl (or woman) based on her sexuality/physical identification is bullying, plain and simple. It also promotes rape culture, reinforces double standards, and is DANGEROUS. Remember, as a parent, your kids are LISTENING to your words. They are INTERNALIZING your judgement. And they are, most likely, passing it on. 

Signed, someone who spent much of her high school years trying to rinse the word "SLUT" off her driveway...

***

You can read my post in its entirety, here. And if you haven't already seen Stranger Things, dial that shit up tonight like whoa...

xoxo

The future is female and our boys are watching, too

I'm watching the DNC and I am crying. Ididn't think it would affect me the way that it has, but here I am, snifflingon the carpet with my computer in my lap.

My son, Archer is next to me -- my eleven-year-old son, who months ago wrote his own presidential speech and has been Hillary's biggest fan from the start. My daughters scamper in and out of the room as we sit transfixed -- every now and then they gather on my lap and we explain to them who we're watching and what they're talking about. 

Every time I explain, I get choked up.

"Mom. Why are you crying?"

"I'm just... really moved, I guess. All of this is just... "

"Long time coming, right?" Archer says.

"Yeah."

He nods and goes back to watching the DNC. He sits with me as we watch one woman after another take the podium -- powerful women -- strong, well-spoken, game-changing women, women who unite to celebrate the power and accomplishments of another WOMAN. Together we watch mothers. Sisters. Movers and shakers. We also watch fathers. Brothers. Strong well-spoken, game-changing men also celebrating the power of women. Of WOMAN.

This is a celebration of Hillary and her life of service and accomplishments, but the more we watch, the more it starts to feel like something else. Replace her name with SO MANY women of yesterday, even today and tomorrow... women who have worked ten times as hard as their male colleagues only to be discredited, discouraged, brushed aside. Women who for centuries stood in the shadows, pulling strings, changing the world without credit.

Watching, I feel the spirits of our foremothers and their brilliant potential -- a history of muted voices suddenly LOUD. I try to make out what they're saying. The ghosts. The wives. The mothers. So many names we'll never know, and I desperately want to hear them all.

"Think of all the women... through time. The women all over the world who are screaming without stages. Who are orating without microphones. Our history is dark with oppression. But this -- THIS -- your life -- you get to witness what feels like REAL CHANGE."

THE FUTURE LOOKS so different than the past, Archer. The PRESENT looks so different from the past...

I was recently out with my kids when a stranger approached my son. His sister was wearing her FUTURE IS FEMALE shirt and he cocked his head to the side and squinted with disgust.

"Is that your sister?" he said. "What do you have to say for your sister's shirt?"

"What do you mean?"

"I hope you have a shirt at home that says 'the future is male.'"

"I actually have the same shirt she's wearing," he said. "Mine is just in a bigger size."

I smiled.

"This isn't a pissing contest, sir. A more female future means a more equal future. Equality benefits the brothers of the sisters wearing the shirts AS MUCH as it benefits the sisters wearing the shirts. There is plenty of room for men AND women at the table. And yet, for thousands of years men have taken up most of the seats. Have you done anything to change that? My assumption, after listening to how threatened you are by four words on a little girl's t-shirt, is no..."

I wish I said all of those things. What I said was far less eloquent. I stammered, got defensive, tried to cover his voice with my voice. I did say something about the table though. And I did storm off in a very stomp-footy-stormy-offy-way.

The thing is, that man was not alone in his thinking. There are plenty of men (and women) who have commented on my posts throughout the years who feel that PRO-FEMALE means ANTI-MALE. And I get it. I used to be one of them.

I wonder, though, how many of them -- of you, if you're reading -- have been excluded from your own conversations? I'm not just talking about women whose rights have been dictated by men since the beginning of time, but people of color whose rights have been dictated by white people...  LGBTQ people whose love has been questioned by heterosexual leaders who cannot possibly know the struggles they have taken it upon themselves to define.

This is why we need ALL voices -- diverse voices -- leaders, spokespeople, teachers, writers, artists, actors, presidents of the United States of America.

For centuries, white men have called the shots in this country. Trump represents what feels like the patriarchy going out with a wet fart. And if it wasn't so terrifying, it would almost be poetic -- biblical even -- Here we have a more inclusive, more female future battling closed-minded white men who live for the past  -- men who represent the very worst the patriarchy has to offer.

And the whole world is watching....

You can read my post in its entirety, here. Go, Hill! 

pubic service announcement

I recently finished Peggy Orenstein's new book, Girls and Sex, which I highly recommend to every single human out there over the age of 13, ESPECIALLY men and fathers. Men and women, boys and girls ought to be more communicative when it comes to sex, and I think it does FAR more harm than good when we separate our girls and boys during sex education. Boys should hear what it's like for girls FROM GIRLS and girls should hear what it's like for boys FROM BOYS. How can we possibly grow and change and empathize with one another if we're whispering in different locker rooms?

(ED: My biggest issue with the book is the fact that it’s hot pink and is called GIRLS AND SEX. I don't know many men who would feel comfortable reading a hot pink book called GIRLS AND SEX on, say, the subway or in a doctor's office waiting room, and I find the pink cover problematic and annoying, but that's a diss on the publishing house, not the book. I think Orenstein is wonderful and I respect her voice and her non-judgmental attitude towards young people. This book is a MUST READ, you guys. Real talk.)

Anyway, we can talk more about the book later, if you want. Also sex education and teenage sexuality, which I think we SHOULD be talking about more openly. Because the only thing we should feel shame about is shame itself, and I am ALL FOR shame-free dialogue when it comes to sex and sexuality and pleasure and masturbation and periods, puberty, sex, OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS NO REASON WHYTHIS STUFF SHOULD BE EMBARRASSING! WHY ARE WE SO AFRAID TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT THIS STUFF? DON'T WE REALIZE THAT WE ARE DOING FAR MORE DAMAGE BY KEEPING QUIET AND YES I AM YELLING IN CAPS RIGHT NOW BUT, DUDE... SEX IS WHAT PEOPLE DO WITH EACH OTHER AND HUMAN BEINGS ARE BASICALLY JUST WALKING ORGASMS. SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE SOMEONE CAME. SO IS YOUR CHILD. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT, PLEASE. PLEASE? LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX WITH OUR DAUGHTERS SO THEY KNOW IT ISOKAY TO ENJOY IT!

Hell, if it was up to me, I would bomb the world with vibrators. VIBRATORS FOR ALL!

Which, in a round-a-bout-ish way, brings me to today's post...

... About pubes. TODAY I WOULD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT PUBIC HAIR and how for the last twenty-something years I have resisted having any—until now.

Like many (all) of the girls questioned in Peggy Orenstein's book, I also started shaving off my pubes the moment they started growing in. Because, ew, being am adult woman is GROSS. Not that I said those words, but in my head I was like, what am I supposed to do with this hair stuff? From a very young age (13) I shaved my pubes every few days in the same way I shaved my pits and my legs... I was disgusted with hair and I hated the way it felt when it was growing in.

Also? (And here's the rub...) Everyone else was doing it. I assumed it was a rite of passage -- that girls like me who shaved themselves pube-less were EMPOWERED. Somehow, that was the message we instilled in one another. THIS IS US STANDING UP TO ADULTHOOD AND REBELLING! Oh and also? This is what boys are into, so like... that's cool, too. 

In recent years, I toyed with various hairless styles (no relation to Harry Styles) including various landing strip-esque situations which felt like a good compromise between NOT WANTING ANYTHING TO DO WITH HAIR and feeling like I needed to model some kind of hair acceptance for my children -- because pubes happen, kids. And there is absolutely no reason for anyone to feel shame... And yet…there I was, FEELING it. I found myself regularly saying one thing and doing another -- preaching "pube-love and acceptance!" while being pube-free. 

It wasn't until I read Orenstein's chapter on porn and pubes that I started to rethink my teenage "empowerment." All those years, I had remembered feeling TOTALLY in control of my body.  I assumed that shaving my pubes off was BECAUSE I WAS MAKING A STATEMENT, THAT I COULD CONTROL MY BODY, DAMMIT. 

But wait... was that it? Was that why my friends and I shaved our hair completely off? Because we felt like we were in control? Or was it something else? Did we do it for ourselves or for the boys who thought it was hot? I would like to think it wasn't the latter but also, I'm an adult now and I realize that there were a lot of things I thought I was doing for me... when I wasn't. 

Fast forward to now. I am a thirty-five-year-old mother of four and I have never in my life had a bush to call my own. I don't even know what it looks like to look down and see hair. And I think that might be a problem. Hell, I KNOW it's a problem. It's a problem because, once again, I feel shame for something my body NATURALLY does. I feel shame for something men my age do not feel shame over. (Unless you're a man who is reading this and DOES feel shame about pubic hair. Do you? If you do, please come forward. I don't want to discount your experience. Please feel free to prove me wrong.)

Orenstein writes: 

"...Herbenick is concerned that young women's genital self-image is under siege, with more pressure than ever to see their vulvae as unacceptable in their natural state. She recalled a student who started shaving after a boy announced—during one of her class discussions—that he'd never seen pubic hair on a woman in real life, and that if he came across it he'd walk out the door.

There's no question that a bald vulva is baby smooth—some would say disturbingly so.Perhaps in the 1920s, when women first started shaving their legs and armpits, that act seemed creepily infantilizing, too, but now depilating those areas is a standard rite of passage. That early wave of hair removal was driven by flapper fashions that displayed a woman's limbs; arms and legs were, for the first time, no longer part of the private realm. Today's pubic hair removal could be seen the same way: We have opened our most intimate parts to unprecedented scrutiny, evaluation, commodification..."

Here's the thing ... I want to expose my children to a natural looking body -- shame-free. I want my kids to be like, oh, pubes aren't so bad. My mom's got some of those and she seems pretty chill about it...

Girlfriends or Two Women Friends by: Gustav Klimt, 1916

So, yes. Maybe all those years ago, I bic'd my pubes for the boys... But now, for the first time, I'm growing these bad boys out for the girls...not just my daughters, but for myself and all of the teenage girls out there who are like, EW PUBES ARE GROSS PUBERTY IS GROSS HAIR IS GROSS I AM GROSS. Because in simple terms, I want to be the change. I want to show my past self and my present self and also my future self that all of the things we have been told as females to be GROSS and UNSIGHTLY and SORRY YOUR CONTENT HAS BEEN FLAGGED FOR BEING HAIRY AND NIPPLE-Y AND REAL, aren't even at all. Nipples, pubes, hairy legs... all of the things boys and men show all day long with nary a word...

You can read my post in its entirety, here.

under our clothes, we're all just naked

I recently spent an afternoon in a hot spring amongst nude bodies of all ages and sizes and genders, and realized how warped my sense of body image truly is. Here I was,surrounded for the FIRST time in my life by dozens of REAL bodies that looked nothing like one another -- naked people unfazed by their own (and eachother's) nakedness, none of whom gave a shit about lopsided breasts or belly folds, penises of all shapes and sizes, flaccid and chilling like whatevs. REAL life. REAL bodies. No shame. No praise. Just... People being naked and themselves. 

About a month ago, I happened upon a link to an article via Pitchfork's twitter,"Why are People so Mad About The Hotelier's NSFW Cover for Goodness," and to this paragraph, particularly: 

Unlike other recent NSFW covers, Goodness spotlights ages and shapes rarely seen on album art, naked or otherwise. The online complaints, like those that flooded Pitchfork’s own Twitter feed last week upon publishing our Goodness review, have been dispiriting, particularly the detractors who complain about the type of nudity: imperfect, unfiltered, human. In an era when nothing really shocks us, when nearly naked and highly sexualized bodies routinely grace album covers without even a second thought, seeing the desexualized nude forms that resemble how we will all eventually come to look—apparently that’s offensive. We only want lightly airbrushed body positivity, if at all. 

People were PISSSSSSSSED that real life (older) and very NAKED bodies were just... you know... existing in their natural state on an album cover. 

People were SHOCKED to see bodies. REAL bodies. AGING. SAGGING. BODIES. People were offended and angry that truthiness was on display... smiling like NBD whatever. 

***

There is so much going on in the world right now -- so much madness that I haven't even known where to begin lately. I have so many thoughts and words and they're all getting tangled... but in the end, I find a commonality to ALL OF THE ABOVE, and that commonality is FEAR and a seemingly universal INABILITY to see one another -- to recognize the SAMENESS in each other...

....There is something to be said for being surrounded by naked bodies -- there is a vulnerably to that -- a relief -- like, oh wait, we're all just flesh and bone... we're all just skin and fat and muscle and hair... we're all the same, even when we're not. 

WE'RE ALL THE SAME, EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT. 

I'm not interested in those who choose to shame Kim Kardashian for posting nude selfies but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was equally tired of those who applaud her for her "feminist statement." If we're going to make REAL progress we need to give fewer shits about other people's bodies. 

In a country that prides itself on puritanical values, patting itself on the back for its ability to either shame or praise, it felt revolutionary to watch people do neither. Like, oh hey, there's a middle ground CALLED EXISTING HAPPILY IN ONE'S SKIN. 

Authenticity is the woman in the hot spring who’s taking her clothes off, not because she wants to make a statement, but rather because, what-the-fuck-ever. 

THAT's radical. 

***

We are at a societal crossroads. Hell, maybe every generation is. But for me, right now, this moment, feels as hopeful as it feels dangerous. I happen to think that our puritanical values as a nation/society combined with our inability to be transparent and honest (and fearless and non-judgmental) with one another has paved the way for those who FEAR AND JUDGE to lead. 

Our fear of judgment and shame has caused us to COVER ourselves in ways that are alienating -- we cannot come together if we are hiding our TRUE selves. 

We, as a species, worship perfection. Isn't that what God is? Not just the Judeo-Christian God but GOD in every. single. religion? Is it possible, that through worshipping so-called PERFECTION we are paralyzed when we realize it doesn't exist? In ourselves? In our partners and relationships and lives? 

Humans are imperfect. But like REALLY FUCKING FLAWED. That includes everyone... 

And yet, we seem to have very low tolerance, as a society for imperfection. We have no idea how to accept ourselves (and each other) for who we really TRULY are... We only know how to judge one another (and ourselves) against what we HAVE BEEN TOLD is right, wrong, beautiful, normal... 

Judgement is a great way to distract ourselves from our own denial. 

Here's the thing -- one cannot judge a naked body when she herself is naked, too. I mean this physically but also everythingelse-ly. It is very humbling to admit one's humanity. And you know what else? People like that in others. People appreciate when you say, HEY, WHAT'S UP, GUYS. THIS IS ME. I'M RAD BUT I'M ALSO A MESS. I HAVE LOVELY SHOULDERS AND LOPSIDED BREASTS AND CELLULITE ON MY ASS AND MY BELLY BUTTON HAS CAVED IN ON ITSELF POST-PARTUM BUT I ALSO HAVE THIS AMAZING BACK AND A SCAR ON MY SHIN THAT MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG AND INTERESTING...

So many of us are afraid to reveal the parts of ourselves we KNOW go against societal norms -- that are unusual, even strange... but the more we are able to reveal those parts--the more we are able to SEE that bodies are bodies--the better we will be at  RECOGNIZING  that we're all a bunch of human animals...

....I hope someday more of us will be willing to climb naked and imperfect into the hot spring so that we can all be naked and imperfect together and eventually forget to notice that we're naked and imperfect. We'll instead realize we are all just human beings existing at the same time, in the same place. WE ARE ALL JUST PEOPLE. Lopsided, hairy, beautiful, unfiltered ... different, the same, but TOGETHER.

(You can read my post in its entirety, here.)