The Thing About Planning is One Day You'll Be Like WTF?

*updated below*

I'm not much for plans. They intimidate me. They worry me. They don't seem to make a difference in the outcome of a day or a week or a life so when it came to writing a birth plan I was all, no thanks. Mainly because "Birth Plan" always seemed to me like a complete juxtaposition.

With my first birth, I was pretty sure the baby was going to come out my vagina but other than that? I knew absolutely nothing.

I did burn a birth mix, though, because, obviously.

Having "no plan at all" ended up working against me the first time around. I ended up with an OBGYAsshole who shushed me during childbirth and gave me a totally unnecessary episiotomy that took me an entire year to heal from.

And even though I still come from the place of refusal when it comes to reading parenting books and making plans, my second birth experience kicked my first birth experience's ass because I actually did some homework this time, found a kick-ass doctor who understood my need to go episiotomy free. One who even agreed they were unnecessary!

I felt empowered during my birth with Fable. I knew what I wanted even though I didn't care to write it down.

So even though I play devil's advocate in this here video I absolutely believe it crucial to feel empowered during birth, however that may be.



I also think it wise to understand that plans are what they are. And twenty-pages of laminated, calligraphy-drawn words aren't going to do a whole lot to maximize their potency.

Which is why a good birth mix is sooooo imperative.

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Did you or will you have a birth plan? Would you recommend one to fellow mothers? How did your plan affect your birth? This week I'm giving away a full collection of baby skincare products from MD Moms - amazing products for babes, including the can't-live-without'em sunscreen towelettes for summer (which I use on Fable daily and adore). Winner to be picked at random by 12 PST Wednesday. Good luck and thanks in advance for sharing!

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In the meantime...

-I'm ready for Hal to come home from work and hang out with us again. I'm feeling the burn of his absence like crazy.

-Fable takes her first two-hour nap and Archer rocks out on drums. Twas a very happy Mother's Day.

GGC

**Congrats to Sharon at This Bloomin Life for winning the MD Moms products! And thanks to everyone for sharing their birth plans/lack thereof. You ladies are the teets. No lie. **

Happy Mother's Day, Sister Wives

Rock out with your baby out.

(Mandolin Solo.)

Love,

GGC

Bananacado

*Updated with winner, below!!*

Yesterday afternoon I left the house to go write, leaving Hal in charge of Fable and feeding her lunch. Because Hal has been unemployed for three months* he has contributed equally as caregiver to Fable. Changing her, bathing her, taking her on father-daughter outings and of course, feeding her.... which up until now has been pretty easy to do:

Four ounces of water, maybe six, depending on when she nursed, then add two scoops (or three) of formula and stick the bottle in her mouth.

In the last week, however, Fable has almost completely weaned herself off the bottle, preferring mainly solids during the day. Yogurt, Banana, Hummus, Tofu and various other smashed delicacies of baby life.

"What should I feed her for lunch, today?" Hal asked as I packed up my computer bag.

"Avocado. Maybe some Banana," I said.

Seemed like straightforward directions at the time and I figured he could feed her both rather simply, straight from the source with a bit of smashing. No need for the baby food grinder. Easy peasy.

Um...

I was wrong.

I came home several hours later to find a bowl of what appeared to be raw snot on the table.

"What the balls is this?"

"What? It's banana and avocado."

"Like... mixed together?"

"That's what you told me to do!"

"What!? No! I said to feed her avocado and banana. Not .... avocanana. This is disgusting. No wonder she didn't eat any of it."

"What do you mean? She had a.... bite."

"Hm..."

"Well maybe she wasn't hungry!"

"Would you eat Bananacado?"

Hal paused for a beat** and then ...

"Yes. Yes I would."

"You're such a liar."

"I bet it's delicious."

"Oh, really. Then let's see you eat it."

And then, with nary a wince, Hal took a giant bite of the stuff...

... before spitting it out in the sink.

Ha ha! Sucka!

"Maybe I'll just feed her yogurt next time."

"Good idea."

GGC

Tell me your best "foodie" story and be entered to win a brand new Svan highchair: a favorite in the GGC household since 2005:

Seven-month Archer, January 2006

Seven-month Fable; May 2009

Winner will be chosen at random via random.org by end of the day Friday! Good luck and happy food... ing.

GGC

*Hal got a job yesterday. He starts tomorrow. So stoked. And relieved. But also a little bit sad because I'm going to miss him and his rather disastrous food concoctions.

**Writing scripts has caused me to "beat" everything. Even aloud I can't help exclaiming "there was a beat" during moments of tension and dispute. It's miraculous my husband doesn't "beat" me because of it. Womp womp.

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Congratulations to Dari @ Day in the Life (whose father-in-law fed her baby Mountain Dew! Ahhhh!!!) for winning the Svan highchair! And thank all of you for showing up for the food fight. More most excellent contests to come, my lovelies. Kisses on all of your cheeky cheeks.