Girl's Gone Child

Until today, Archer had yet to hold Fable. He had kissed her, loved on her, tried to feed her a banana and even said to her "You're cute, baby seester!" but he had not yet held her. He didn't want to, he said,"I'm afraid."

"Afraid of holding her?"

"Yes."

Today he wasn't afraid. He opened his arms to his baby sister and softly touched her hands. And she looked up at him and him down at her and he smiled.

I don't believe in heaven. But I do believe in its fantasy: the happy ending. And I desperately believe in life's heavenly moments, where the universe feels small and intimate and good. When nothing matters beyond what is happening now. And more than any other moment on record, this was mine: my son holding my daughter in his hands.

I know the world is in shambles, the economy is in the toilet and fear has paralyzed us in such a way many of us feel we can't go on. But not so. Not when every day in a million households around the world, there are moments like these:

When we stop to pay attention, life is so fucking beautiful it hurts.

GGC

(a GGC original poem, reposted from last year.)

Archer jumps hay at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch, West Hollywood

Twas the Night Before Halloween

Twas the night before Halloween and all through the house

Not a person wasn't helping me throw last-minute costumes together, not even my spouse.
Fabrics were pressed with iron-on-letters with care.
In hopes they would look good and no one would stare (in a bad way)

My child was screaming from the bars of his bed
Wanting to hang out with his parents instead
Although mama was flattered, "Archer, don't get me wrong...
"...But this costume is going to take me all the night long!"
When out the front door, there arose such a flutter.
A teenager in a mask! (I internally muttered)
Away from the peephole I arose with a knife!
(I was cutting a jack-o-lantern with my Dad and his wife*. )

The full moon that I saw through the peephole was scary!
"Smell my feet," said the teen and "my ass is real hairy!"
Then what to my wandering eyes should appear?
But a dozen more teens with trick-or-treat gear!
And all of them clad head to toe, all in black
Carrying with them, stained pillow case sacks!
"It's too early I said! You must come back tomorrow"
But the teens, they all frowned, their brows furrowed in sorrow...
So I opened the door. With my pumpkin carving knife.
With my half-awake toddler, my dad and his wife
And we looked at each other and we had to agree
It isn't a sin to want some candy!
"Just one!" I demanded, shaking my head.
"And if you smash all our pumpkins you're totally dead...
...I'll kill you, myself!" I seriously said.

The kids all said thank you, adjusting their masks.
And as the door closed, my father's wife asked:
"Why did you give them our candy, anyway?
They're too old and it's not even Halloween day!"
I thought for a moment and then looked at my son.
And then back at the costume I had just now begun.
And I opened my eyes and stretched my hands to the sky
And I said something, shocking, even to I...

"One day my son will be older and change
And it will be a little bit hard and a little bit strange...

2007

2008

....And costumes will become what little kids wear
And it will be suddenly cool to flash strangers ass-hair.
And being too old for candy and costumes and fright
And unable to participate on Halloween night.
Is a terrible feeling. A feeling not right....
And I remember the feeling," I continued to say.
"For there is nothing quite like a dark Milky Way.
And the sound that it makes when it falls in the sack.
I would do anything to get those glory days back..."

As I muttered the words, a thought came to me
My son just turned ~~two~~ and was going on ~~three~~ four
An age that was expected to ring doorbells and run!
It was almost as if a new childhood had come!

2006

A wink of my eye and a twist of my head
And it was time to get Archer back into his bed
Then finish cutting jack-o-lantern's triangle eyes
And the iron-on letters for tomorrow's disguise.
And I heard my son babble as he passed out in his seat.
"I can't wait for tomorrow... my first trick-or-treat."
(And I nodded and said, "yes, me, too, little sweet.")

.........................................

Sadly for me, this year Archer picked out his own costume, which means for the first time in three years, he won't be wearing an original concoction. Fable on the other hand? Let's just say I'm most definitely taking advantage of the fact that I CAN DRESS HER UP IN WHATEVER I LIKE! Wuah ha ha ha haaaaa!!!