I wrote this in my Umbro shorts. Umbro shorts. I wrote this evening's blog post in my Umbro shorts.


This week was hysterically bad. Like, I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING TO KEEP FROM CRYING bad. I mean, we literally have a dead animal in our wall that is stinking up our entire house which is the least of this week's problems. And yet. SUCH A METAPHOR for this week, you guys. THE METAPHORIST of metaphors.

I just hope it decomposes soon, you know what I mean? Without doing any permanent damage to our nostrils.

(This week was a pile of shit for everyone I know so I feel like I'm not being totally presumptuous when I say GOOD RIDDANCE, WEEK! YOU MAY FUCK RIGHT OFF, YOU MAY!)

Luckily, things exist to make us laugh. Which is why as I ice my swollen ankle (caused by an incident with a broken flip flop and a steep hill) and type these words on a computer that has blitzed out on me twice this week, rendering hours of work lost forever,  I present: ACTIVE WEARThe only good thing that came out of the last few days.

Besides all the Pope stuff. GO, POPE STUFF!

And speaking of Activewear, which I don't really even own, where does one BUY "activewear" that isn't hundreds of dollars? I will never be able to justify dropping 50 bucks on a sports bra, let alone 80 or 165. I'd rather wear my old nursing bra tank top with the things on the straps and my old Umbro soccer shorts from 9th grade. (Which is what I've been doing. Every day.)

Hook me up, Activewearers! Because for the first time in my life, I actually NEED Activewear. I also need next week to be a little more pleasant for everyone, because, DUDE.

Let us pray.