Sunday, at the Parade

Sunday, we took the kids to our neighborhood parade. We walked from our house -- we always do. It was a beautiful day for a parade. The sun came out as we were walking... there was music everywhere. And color. So much color. There was dancing in the streets. Women wore feathers in their hair and people waved from cars. Confetti and balloons danced in the wind and everyone was cheering...

Love is love.

We are HERE and we are PROUD. 

Love is love. 

We all live - we all love... differently...

Sunday, we walked in the parade. It was a heartbreaking day for a parade. People were mourning. Hugging. Holding one another's hands. 50 candles burned in silence. People wore black and carried signs. "ORLANDO" painted on backs and fronts and signs. Hearts in hands...

The kids walked on behalf of their school... rode scooters in circles, waved signs...

On La Cienega there was a man with a megaphone and a group of more men waving signs. The signs said horrible things. Hateful things. HATE in big block letters rose against a slew of signs preaching LOVE.

Everyone kept walking, signs held high. Fable pressed her sign higher. Kids kept dancing, riding...

They understand... 

These men want to stop the Parade.

But they can't.

They were not Muslim, these men. They called themselves Christians (but we knew better than to believe them.)

They were Americans. 

Just like the Orlando shooter.

They were extremists.

Just like the Orlando shooter.

They were men. 

Just like the Orlando shooter.

Their weapons were different, perhaps. But the root was the same. Homophobia. Toxic masculinity. Racism. Hatred born out of shame... fear... self hatred. Using religion as a crutch... using their god's name... in vain.

They were American.

This is America.  

Where guns are easily accessed. Where "hate" is a campaign strategy... Where LOVE is something debated in houses of worship... Where people say things like, "love the sinner, hate the sin." 

Where there are CAVEATS to mourning.

To acceptance.

To love. 

Keep walking...

Keep dancing...

Keep holding up your signs...

Keep LOVING exactly as you LOVE...

Sunday, we took the kids to the LA PRIDE parade. And next year we will, too. And the year after that. And the year after that. Because LOVE is a parade. SEXUALITY is a parade. OWNING our differences is a parade. FREEDOM is a parade. BODIES, FEELING SAFE AND CONFIDENT, is a parade. I want my children to see that. To feel that. To encourage and support and embrace EXACTLY who they are. And to rejoice as others lovingly, confidently do the same...

(My entire post is here.)

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Love and solidarity to the LGBTQ community in Orlando and all LGBTQ communities worldwide. We are heartbroken for you. We love you. We stand by you. And we will continue to use our privilege to fight for your BASIC HUMAN RIGHT to THRIVE in this country. WITH LOVE AND INCLUSION. 

For those looking to DO SOMETHING here is a great place to start.  For those wondering how to talk to your children about Orlando's hideous hate crime, "LOOK FOR THE HELPERS" is no longer good enough...  WE NEED TO BE THE HELPERS. BY BEING ALLIES. BY PREACHING LOVE. BY RESISTING BIGOTRY AND RACISM IN OUR COMMUNITIES AND CULTURE... We need to involve our children in the conversation -- include them in the good fight. THIS IS THE TIME. LOVE IS AN ALL AGES SHOW. 

Things I Love for Me and Us: June

1. See: Mustang by Deniz Gamze Ergüven

At the risk of divulging too much, MUSTANG is not only the story of five girls and their powerful sisterhood, but also about what individuals are capable of doing to escape, rebel, break free. Rebellion fascinates me above all else. I see it as a necessity and after watching MUSTANG, i was better able to understand why...

Accepting orders, obeying "rules," and relinquishing control can ultimately, and in many cases, mean death -- of the soul, the spirit, the body. Rebellion is a survival instinct -- a direct response to repression. At home. In life, society....

Where do wild things go when they are caged? Does age have anything to do with fearlessness? What are we, as human animals, willing to do and risk and lose in order to live freely and by own own will?

Mustang asks these questions impeccably -- powerfully and from a uniquely female point of view.

In an IndieWire interview, writer/director Deniz Gamze Ergüven, in response to a question about "feminist filmmaking," says: 

"...Women have always been objectified and there are very few figures of womanhood that literally look like us and who work like us in terms of our desires, hopes and all these things – like real females do. Literally, this is the first in a movie where I can completely relate to the characters. The metaphor I use is that masculinity is like New York in cinema. If you are not a New Yorker, when you arrive there for the first time you have the impression you grew up there because you’ve seen it in so many films. It’s been filmed from every single angle and by so many different filmmakers that you know the streets, the sidewalks, the architecture, the cabs, the temper of the people, all that you know. Whereas femininity is that village behind that hill with the bad road. Nobody goes there. There is no camera. We don’t know what it looks like. It’s pioneering to crisscross those territories.

For example, every step of the way of the experience of being a woman I always thought, “Damn, nobody told be about this, or this, or this.” After I was a mother for the first time I thought, “Where did you see breastfeeding in cinema?” Almost nowhere. There was one film by Bergman that takes place in the Middle Ages where you have people going completely crazy because there is an epidemic of the plague. They start dancing and walking from one city to another. It’s an eruption of collective madness, and in that city there is one guy who has his eye dangling out of his face, then you have a guy carrying a cross, and a mother who is breastfeeding. That’s the only time you see a woman breastfeeding in cinema. It’s crazy! All those things which are so common in our lives and that are there in every step of the way in our lives, are not there..."

ED: Deniz Gamze Ergüven shot this film (her first) while pregnant. Just weeks before filming was scheduled, she found out about her pregnancy and one of her producers immediately pulled out, worried that Ergüven might not be able to handle the grueling production schedule. 

Spoiler alert: she did. Brilliantly. You can watch it now on Amazon. 

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2. Hear: Lost Boy --  Ruth B

I've been following Ruth B since Lost Boy -- a song that started as a Vine post -- was first placed on my radar late last year. I've had the song looping in my iTunes for months and then earlier this month, Ruth B released her official Lost Boy video which is ALSO magic.

From an interview in ANDPOP, Ruth explains how Lost Boy went from a six-second loop to a VIRAL six-second loop to a hit song:

"I was watching (the show Once Upon a Time) and it was all about Peter Pan  so I went down to my keyboard, like I usually do, and I randomly sang the line “I’m a lost boy from Neverland/used to hang out with Peter Pan” — and didn’t think much of it. Then, once I posted it, it got like a crazy reaction. I think it was like 84,000 likes in the first week, which was super unusual at the time for me. And originally the comments were, “Hey you should turn this into a full song, we really like it,” so I kinda did just that. I sat down and I wrote a song.

I think the most important thing about that is that when I made the original Vine it was just about a TV show; it was just a couple words with a catchy melody, but when I sat down to write the song I really wanted to make a point, to give the song a message and like, you know, make it important and give something that people … that they could understand and relate with. I didn’t want it just to be about Peter Pan, so I tried to just make it about, you know, everyone gets lonely sometimes, everyone needs a friend and that feeling anyone can understand. And I think that’s why people connected with the song the way that they did."

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3. Do: Build your own Skateboard by Pink Helmet Posse

We decided it was time for Revi to get her own skateboard a few weeks back so I pulled up Pink Helmet Posse's site and let her pick her own board, wheels and grip tape. (She went for cheetah grip tape + pink wheels + this board.) We bought everything separate and then took it to our favorite local shop to get the board set up and voila.

Pink Helmet Posse (who I've written about before) is all about getting girls excited about skateboarding. For those with little ones interested in building their own boards, go here. (They also send a special "Pink Helmet Posse" membership card which is VERY exciting indeed.)

(Bo got one, too, don't worry.)

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4. Wear: Linen Boyfriend Shirts from GAP

I know, it's just a black shirt how boring but the fit on these = TOP NOTCH. I usually despise shirts with buttons because they pull in the boob area. Not these bad boys. I actually went back and bought the same shirt in green and also denim because, SO GOOD + EASY + CHILL VIBES = FOREVER. 

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5. Go: The Really Awesome Improv Show @ Second City for $5

We recently discovered Second City's "The Really Awesome Improv Show" and I can't believe it took us this long because WHOA BEST BANG FOR YOUR FAMILY BUCK. Especially for those of you/us with theatre kids who are interested in improv, Second City's especially-for-families Improv show is a must-see for all Angeleno's/visitors passing through. Walk-ins welcome. For more info on Second City's shows go here. (They also do birthday parties.)

6. Vote: Hillary Rodham Clinton for President

This morning Caissie St. Onge posted this on Facebook and it articulated everything I am currently feeling right now, today, on the eve of the California primary:

Tomorrow I will cast my ballot for Hillary Clinton for President. With pride. 

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P.S. I have two new posts up on Mom.me. One is about bathing suits and body image and the other lists some of your/our all-time must-haves for newborn living/life. Big love to all. xo

The Month in Moments: May

My friend Polly took this picture. I am a horrible skateboarder, yes, but I am willing to eat shit trying which is basically my MO for life. If at first you don't succeed, eat shit trying. 

My other MO for life is the word NO and finding new ways to use it. For so many years I assumed "YES" was the way to go because confrontation is the worst and it's so much easier to just do the things that people tell you to do and help everyone when they need help and be like YES I WILL BE THERE. Getting older is pretty liberating in that you realize that NO is POWER and YES must ONLY be reserved for times when it is TRULY AND FULLY FELT. Anyway, I'll write more about "the power of NO" sometime soon when I have time to sit and really suss out my thoughts on the matter. In the meantime, I have one hour to sit down and do computer-y things today and these monthly posts make me feel extremely grateful for MOMENTS and how spectacularly fleeting they all are.

Also, just because I LOOK like I know what I'm doing in that first picture, doesn't make it true. (Not even close.)  Sometimes people say to me, "Your life looks so _________." It's not  ________ , actually. But it is ________ and _________ and also ______________. And capturing moments that move me brings me joy, even relief. This is what I choose to see and how I choose to see it...  

That's the magic of photography. One can choose what she wants to focus on, crop out, memorize...

Because life's a goddamn three-ring circus of chaotic insanity until you slooooooooowwww it waaaaaaaaayyyyy downnnnn and study every (other) frame.

This is what May looked like from behind my camera... not everywhere, but in certain places -- bits and pieces of bits and pieces.... and sometimes peace(s).  xoxo

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P.S. My Great Aunt Dot took this picture of me earlier this month:

I am a pendulum swinging back and forth over grass that is green on every side... because, today, that is how I choose to see it...