Nice Hollandaise: A Weekend Recap

Ruth Adams and her very dangerous Polka Band

Friday afternoon Hal and I left our tantrum-having darling and set off for our first weekend alone since the summer of 2004. Our last getaway, celebrating our whirlwind four-months together as bf/ gf, we came back all pregnant and shit. (Hi Archer!)

Three years later (this weekend) getting pregnant was NOT an option. But having good silly couple-ish fun was. Quite.

Friday morning, we set off for Minneapolis for a wedding, and even though Minneapolis is hardly an exotic destination for a couple of marrieds desperate for a honeymoon (One day!) it was pretty awesome.

Honestly, at this point, we could have rocked Death Valley like a couple of desert-loving honeymooners. Humping amidst tumbleweeds and running around screaming, "yahoo!" to the wind.

Hal in front of Nye's Polonaise, very sad to hear "last call!"

I attract freaks and weirdos, impersonators and circus folk like celebrities attract groupies:

With an Elvis Impersonator named Larry who spent the entire night with us.

...Perhaps, because they can sense my inner-freak. Because behind all of this quarter-life-crisis confusion I am really a sixty-year-old male Elvis impersonator.

Regardless, Nye's Polonaise (or as I accidentally told our cab driver, Nice Hollandaise) is currently ranked favorite bar of all time. At least, this week (subject to change) and no doubt I would have quickly become a regular had we stayed longer in town. Regardless of how not-very-underground the place is. Not even close.

We danced all night to Ruth Adams and the World's Most Dangerous Polka Band. And they are sooooo not kidding when they call themselves dangerous. Ruth may not look intimidating here but she's a total maniac. A real force to be reckoned with. A hurricane:

You don't believe me? See Ruth rap:

...The Ruth! The Ruth! The Ruth is on fire!

See Ruth bark like a Pomeranian:

Other weekend highlights included one of the most amazing antiquarian book stores I have ever seen. We spent hours thumbing through first editions and old records, gazing into the spines of classic and unknown works. Records. Prints. Piles of dusty pamphlets. Perfection.

Hal, caught empty-handed in the vinyl section, downstairs.

Step into my office, baby.

And then, like Bill Clinton before us, we stumbled in to Peter's Grille for some brunch. Here's a little background information about Prez Clinton and his history at Peter's, in case you were wondering:

After reading the good news, we excitedly ordered from our Bill Clinton signature menus...

...Skipping over but almost ordering the President Clinton special (unfortunately for me, there wasn't a vegetarian alternative for Canadian bacon)

Part one of our two-part commentary, starring Hal and his facial expressions, located below:

(more videos to come as soon as I can figure out how to un-corrupt some of my video files. My camera seems to have caught the flu.)


*For more on vacationing away from children and/or Hal and me acting like assholes, go here.


screaming girl | 9:22 PM

I live in Minneapolis and when I saw the first picture, but before I read the post, I thought, "Do they have a Nye's Polka Bar in LA?" I guess it really is one of a kind. Did you spend any time in the piano bar?


Yeah! Piano bar was awesome (the reason the bar was recommended to me by a friend) and I'm a huge fan of the piano bar BUT polka is way too hard to come by these days, even MORE than the beloved piano bar. And Ruth is like nothing else. Amazing. Totally one of a kind.

Scar | 9:36 PM

I want to meet ruth. Maybe I have to plan a trip soon.

Russell | 4:36 AM

if you're into polka, you should ask hal to take you to florida for your long-awaited honeymoon. florida, new york, that is. he should find that funny.

you guys seem great. makes me smile!

The Mommy | 9:42 AM

I actually had a dream you were in Minneapolis, where I have lived for the vast majority of my life, just last week. Odd. Nye's is one of my all time favorites! Did you meet the elderly man who hangs out by the door from the piano bar to the polka bar? He's always in plaid and asks all the pretty young girls to dance.

Glad you enjoyed the wonderful things Minneapolis has to offer. next time you'll have to check out Hell's Kitchen for breakfast.

Everydaytreats | 10:01 AM

Polka! Elvis! Sounds like a great time was had by all.

kittenpie | 10:29 AM

OMG Laurie's bookstore is beyond amazing. Good call, popping in there. And if you made it out in less than three hours, I'll be shocked, frankly.

BOSSY | 10:47 AM

So that's what it is: Bossy thinks some of her Brain Files are corrupt.

Mom101 | 12:44 PM

I love that you could be both freak girl and homecoming queen all at once. What a word. What a gal!

And with all due respect to the kiddies, nothing to get the loins a-tingling again like a weekend without them.

Shel | 2:11 PM

i'm sure you already know this, but: you two make one hot lookin couple. :)

thanks for taking us along on your adult adventure.

Anonymous | 9:39 PM

hopefully you didn't spend the ENTIRE night with Larry, but hell, it's your whatever floats yer boat. Perhaps Larry has had a float or two, or maybe a few President Clinton Specials? it. Canadian Bacon with an egg sandwich on the side.

MamaCarter | 10:22 AM

Does the piano bar in Nyes still rock that sparkle-infested vinyl booths? Lurve that place.

Also, next time hit up the Uptown Bar & Grill for a great post-bash hungover breakfast with excellent bloody marys. I've got more bloody mary pint glasses from that place than I care to admit.

muah from a manhattan mom, imported from Mpls and happy to hear about Nyes again!! Ah, the good old times....

Jill | 7:15 PM

Glad Mpls. showed you a good time! Nye's and Peter's Grille may not be our most glamourous spots, but for classic Minnesota kitsch you could not have done any better. The only thing missing was hot dish on a stick at the Minnesota State Fair.

Crazy Baby Lady | 10:38 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Althea | 7:13 AM

Just now stumbled upon this. I used to live in MPLS, and Nye's is SO BEST. The Polish beer and red glitter vinyl booths make the trip worth it.
And I am pretty sure I've gotten drunk with that Elvis man.