Chapter (Month) Twelve: One, The Road


I had a hard time putting Fable to bed tonight so consumed was I with the fact that she would be waking up a one-year-old.

So I lagged. I stalled. I rocked Fable in my arms and told her the story of where I was one year ago ... I told her what I was thinking about and what I was hoping for and all of the things that consumed me whilst in labor - all of the dreams I had for her unknown. I tried to describe the way she looked when I first saw her, the tiny movements, her glow.

Fable: hours old

And then I went on. And on. And even though she didn't understand me, she still listened. A noble lesson.

I have enjoyed this last year so much. Reveled in every moment - clutched Fable to me with all my might because this time I knew how fast the time would fly.

I had the floppy-haired proof standing before me in beat-up sneakers.

Passeaster, 2009

Tonight as I placed Fable down in her crib she held her arms out for me. Cried but only for a second. Archer's voice interrupted her. "It's okay, Fabes. Sometimes I get scared of the night, too. But you don't have to cry."

Too fast.

Time is the greatest tragedy. The repercussions of moving forward - of age and change and every moment ephemeral.

two days old

seven months

eleven months


Life is cruel that time cannot be paused. That babies grow. That humans must learn to speak so that they can talk back, learn to walk so they know to run away, but that's life and that's the journey and what a blessing it is to be a hitch-hiker for as long as our children will allow us the ride.

Hanging off the back of Fable's pick-up truck this past year has been an incredible trip. What a view.

This following chapter is a special one because it's the last in my series of Fable's first year videos and also because the song I used was written and performed by my brother, David (vocals, lyrics, guitars) and his Boston-based band, Self Assembly.




I'm going to miss creating these "fable films" every first of the month. They've been an absolute, heartbreaking joy to compose and this last year of my life? My most profound spiritual journey.

Happy Birthday, sweet Fable:

Adventurer,


...muse,

light.


GGC

82 comments:

N | 12:37 AM

You have a beautiful family :) Happy Birthday Fable!

myfuckingeye | 12:44 AM

Happy Birthday Fablela!

Anonymous | 2:08 AM

Happy Birthday Fable!
Thanks for sharing

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? | 2:23 AM

Happy birthday Fable - I've loved reading about the first year!

Beautiful pictures

kirida | 3:01 AM

My how time flies! Happy birthday Fable!

Nicola Proctor | 3:35 AM

Happy birthday, Fable!
::::HUGS:::: Rebecca; if I could leave you a box of Kleenex as a comment I would!
x

Susan | 3:51 AM

God, can you just imagine them one day, reading of your love for them in this blog. What an amazing gift.

Kristin C. | 4:05 AM

As I nurse my sweet little 3 month baby girl and tap awat on my iphonr before running off to work....I am crying. GOD I don't want her to grow old. Let her be my innocent forever...let me hold her and snuggle her against me for eternity.

Formerly Gracie | 4:40 AM

Wow! Has it been a year already?! Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

soph | 4:47 AM

Happy Birthday, Fable!

Anonymous | 5:31 AM

Happy Birthday Fable!!

randi | 5:38 AM

Wow. Happy Birthday Fable!

Tatiana | 5:53 AM

Hi! I've been reading your blog for a few months now because it always makes me feel better about any hardships I come across (I'm a new 25 year old mom to a 7 month old little girl...so I can relate). And I just wanted to say congratulations on your AMAZING family. Your writing is beautiful and the videos are incredibly heartwarming. You guys truly deserve the very best the world has to offer, and I hope all your dreams come true!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FABLE!!

Hope | 5:55 AM

Happy birthday Fable!!

Prasti | 5:55 AM

so sweet. happy 1st birthday to fable! time does fly much faster...

Hilary | 5:59 AM

I will miss your "fable films," too. This one is my favorite and the song is fantastic, you're brother is talented! Happy Birthday, Fable!

BubbleTeaResa | 6:00 AM

I think you have the most beautiful daughter and she is the luckiest little girl in the world to have such a talented mom.
Happy Birthday Fable!

LbL | 6:01 AM

I have to stop reading this at work when i'm feeling all sensi.

Beautiful.

And in a surprising twist, my word verification is dernit.

Dernit, I'm cryin at work. Perfect.

Karen | 6:12 AM

Happy Birthday big girl!! I LOVE the baby legs - check out those thighs!!

Kendra | 6:46 AM

Happy birthday, Fable! And Archer is the sweetest brother ever. You must be doing something right over there!

Meg | 6:58 AM

Oh Rebecca. I need the kleenex. This is the most beautiful thing I think I've ever read. Thank you for giving words to how I feel as a mother. I love it. Happy Birthday beautiful girl.

beyond | 6:59 AM

happy birthday, sweet fable!
rebecca, what beautiful posts you write for your children...

mountain.mama | 7:03 AM

Oh the bittersweet joy of it all.

casadekaloi | 7:06 AM

Happy Birthday, Fable!

Each month until he reached six months I've been profoundly sad that Jasper is growing. But for some reason, this birthday was so exciting to me, and now I'm so thrilled to watch him grow--I'm not even saying I wish he would stay little, because it's truly enthralling to see him accomplish so much, rise to challenges, and to watch him learn.

I'm not sure how long this perspective will last, but I hope it lasts a long time, because growing is the greatest thing babies can do. Since it's an inevitability anyway (assuming all remains well), then I think there's nothing else to do but celebrate that he (and all babies) is one day, month, year, etc. older, and rejoice in the fortune that we have to get to spend the time with them.

Aaah, she's such a lovely lady. Her photos bring me such sweet serenity.

Lindy | 7:13 AM

I'm tearing up. She is so lovely. And such a lovely mama. And daddy. And such a lovely, sweet big brother. Beautiful words, beautiful images. Thanks for sharing Fable's life with the rest of us.

Kiddos Mom | 7:14 AM

That was so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

booshwash | 7:16 AM

Maybe because my second child will be turning one next month and I can't imagine him being anything but my baby boy, but likely because your style of writing is perfectly beautiful--your words have brought me to tears. Happy birthday to your little girl, and thank you for providing words to the way my heart feels about my little boy.

Amber | 7:21 AM

Happy Birthday Beautiful Fable!

Rebecca | 7:22 AM

Aw, I'm going to miss the Fable videos. =(

Happy birthday, sweet Fable! It's been a pleasure to watch you grow.

P.S. Your mom is awesome. As if you didn't know that already.

Nicole | 7:51 AM

I've been reading your blog since you were about 6 months pregnant with Fable, and this morning when I saw Chapter 12 I shed a little tear. I feel like we've all been so lucky to watch her grow, and your words reflect exactly how I felt when my now 18 month old hit the one year mark. It's such an incredible journey. Thank you so much for sharing it with us all.

Sarah | 7:54 AM

Count me in your legions of teary-eyed fans. Happy birthday, Fable.

Erin | 8:13 AM

Oh my God. She is literally stunning. What a beautiful little life, blossoming.

mommymae | 8:15 AM

my littlest love & i just watched your final fable film (say it ain't so!) it's been an absolute pleasure and privilege watching her, you, archer, hal, gooey, nana, etc., etc. grow this last year. you are beautiful. your family is beautiful.

happy birthday, dear, sweet fable. you bring such joy to the world and especially those who love you best.

DanYell | 8:21 AM

Thanks for the warm fuzzy on this beautiful day and the reminder that time is the greatest tragedy. So true. I love that I live in the moment and think that every stage with my kids is "the best stage" but when you stop and breathe it's so sad how fast it's all going.

Anonymous | 8:30 AM

thank you for all the wonderful/beautiful/heartwarming posts. w/o them grandpa and i would be floating w/o oars. that smile, that light, that special, beautiful child. happy birthday to a precious little tweedle. we love you, ecgs

Amy Lynn | 8:44 AM

Happy Birthday, Fable!

Amie | 9:26 AM

Happy Birthday Fable!

Rebecca, thanks so much for documenting your relationship with your daughter over the past year. The first year with my baby has been filled with ups and downs fear and anxieties love hope and joy. Your easy way with Fable and Archer remind me to not sweat the small stuff and to relish every innocent little second of her life.

Issas Crazy World | 9:41 AM

I had not forgotten that Fable was born one week after my son. Happy birthday to your beautiful girl.

ps. I am saying he's 12 months. Screw that one year crap. LOL. You are welcome to steal it if you want.

mrs.notouching | 9:44 AM

I can't believe she is a one year old! Seems like just yesterday I was refreshing your blog every 5 minutes to check if you have given birth yet.
Happy birthday to Fable and thanks again for this wonderful blog, Rebecca!

Amanda | 10:26 AM

Happy Birthday, beautiful girl!

Mama Cas | 10:36 AM

It gets said so often that I want to gag from it, but it's all too true...the time goes by so quickly. My first baby is 9 1/2 years old already. I was pregnant with him TEN years ago. That doesn't even seem possible.

Happy Birthday, Fable. Enjoy your big day.

tlr | 11:07 AM

Oh, please continue the videos!!! Or maybe every 2 months to celebrate her 2nd year or at the 18 month mark - please give us something to look forward to.
My Jilly is 6 weeks younger and these videos remind me to not take for granted the beautiful moments of being a mom. My son is 4 like Archer and I show him the pictures to show how nice Archer is to his little sister (we're still working on the jealousy issue).
You are such a beautiful mom, inside and out, with a beautiful family to boot. Continue enjoying every moment and growing as a woman and mom.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Fable, and congratulations, Rebecca, for raising such a loving and happy family!
Best wishes for year two!

A Fable Fan | 11:23 AM

Rebecca~

(1) You could always write monthly "Fables" instead, although the films are spectacular.

(2) Your children are art in its finest form.


Fable~

Happy Birthday! May there always be a moral to your story (if not for your sake, for mine =)! You're a sage, m'dear. . .

Exponential X's and O's,
Marisa

Wendy | 11:44 AM

Happy Birthday, Fable!

Rebecca | 12:40 PM

Beautifully written post and a touching tribute to her first precious year. Happy Birthday, baby!

Carrie | 12:55 PM

Happy Birthday Fable!

Bea | 12:59 PM

What a happy little girl - what an amazing first year! Hope you see what an amazing mom you are, because I do.

Happy birthday Fable!

Baby in Broad | 1:47 PM

Happy Birthday, Fable! I don't even know you and I can't believe it's been a year already.

Amira @ DefineMature.com | 2:37 PM

Happy Birthday and many wonderful love-filled wishes Fable!

We've seen you grow up in front of our eyes, and just like Mama, we just can't believe it's been a year as well!

Shoshanah | 3:58 PM

Happy Birthday Fable!

Ashley | 4:31 PM

Happy Birthday to beautiful Fable. And Happy Birthday to you and your wonderful family!

Anonymous | 5:11 PM

Beautiful girl. Beautiful family. Happy birthday Fable.

Anonymous | 5:18 PM

Beautiful post and video. It's so true that you cling to the second child because you know how fast it goes now...for real. Happy Birthday Miss Fable! Happy Giving Birth Day, Rebecca!

Mom101 | 5:39 PM

I can't even believe it a whole year. Isn't it crazy how with child #1 it's all you can think about, and with #2 it sort of creeps up on you?

She's gorgeous, and I'd bet beautiful on the inside too. Can't wait to kiss those sweet cheeks in person.

Happy birthday Fable.

Missy | 6:32 PM

Happy Birthday Fable!

Thank you for writing this little celebration of your daughter's first year! It's so beautiful...

Loukia | 7:18 PM

I love this post. I'm sorry, my comments to you always start the same and I hate that I can't tell you in better words how amazing I think your writing is! OH and most importantly, HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY to that gorgeous little girl of yours! I too hate how fast time moves, and how quickly our babies grow. I wish I could hit rewind or at least pause whenever I had the urge.

Rachel | 7:28 PM

What a beautiful post! My daughter Isabel will be 1 on October 22nd. This year has been a crazy ride and has been the most amazing journey. Your daughter Fable is lovely and I hope she has a very Happy Birthday!!

Kalee | 8:13 PM

She's beautiful! Happy Birthday Fable!

Heidy P. | 9:32 PM

And why exactly do you have to stop making the videos??
You inspired me to do the same for my little boy (I started reading your blog when I was pregnant and now my boy is 5 months old)and I absolutely love love love doing them and my family absolutely loves watching them. I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.

You can still make them every two months or so? Maybe? Please? Pretty please?

Anyway....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FABLE!

Allison the Meep | 9:40 PM

Oh, I love her. That was so beautiful. It made me so nostalgic for my son's childhood that is flying by, and makes me even more excited for my girl to be born.

Glenda | 10:44 PM

Happy Birthday Fable!

amyinbc | 11:49 PM

What a wonderful remembrance of her first year. Loved the song and the pics.

Happy Birthday Fable! You are obviously very loved.

robin | 11:45 AM

Beautiful.

Boy Crazy | 12:23 PM

My sick, snuggly 10 month old Axel lifted his feverish head from the sling to coo and reach for Fable when the video started. It was really sweet. Happy b-day girlfriend!

Mrs. Cline | 1:12 PM

Happy Birthday Miss Fable!

(And Happy One Year to Mothering a GIRL! You DID it! You're DOING it!!)

Geordy and Pete | 3:27 PM

happy birthday Fable!

Beautiful Post by your amazing mummy.
x

Desiree Fawn | 6:28 PM

How quickly it goes -- I remember sitting around turbo pregnant watching momversation talking about you giving birth just weeks before! Ah!
Happy year time, Fable dearest!!

Cave Momma | 9:49 PM

I am going through the same thing. My daughter turned two 11 days ago and my son turns one in 8 days. We celebrated their birthday together today. So bittersweet. Happy birthday Fable!

K-Diddle | 10:30 PM

She is so beautiful and she reminds me so much of my baby girl Lily. They really do grow way too fast! That video was awesome, thank you for sharing it with us. She is such a doll :)

Elaine | 6:44 AM

I love the way you are able to convey your emotions and thoughts about this wonderful addition to your family. I send you Kudos with hopes that I, too, will be able to leave my child without a doubt that I love him deeply and without flaw.

Thank you. Happy Birthday to you both.

Ray | 11:54 AM

Awwww, you don't have to stop the Fable Films just because she's turned a year. ;o(

Anyhow: A BIG HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO FABLE!!! =D I love how you choose your brother's song for her last video. Nice touch. And a beautiful one-year-old you have there. I love how she's such a big baby. Too cute. ;o)

And, I loved this line, "That humans must learn to speak so that they can talk back, learn to walk so they know to run away, but that's life and that's the journey and what a blessing it is to be a hitch-hiker for as long as our children will allow us the ride."

<3

mom2nji | 4:42 PM

How blessed is Fable to have these incredible posts and films to document her first year. Your love and pure joy at being her mother shines through your writing.
As the mom of three boys who was more than damaged by her own mother, I have always been scared to death to have a daughter, you show me that it is possible to thrive as the mommy to a girl.

Happy Birthday Fable!!
I hope you had an fantastic day.

Sarcastica | 5:57 PM

Happy Birthday Fable!

Gorgeous post Rebecca!

freckletree. | 6:23 PM

happy birthday fable!

congrats mom and family!

okay-- have to ask and PLEEEEEZE divulge: where did you get the owl hat? L-O-V-E it!

bluejeanamy | 9:20 PM

lovely entry, as always.

happy birthday, miss fable!

E.S. O'Riley | 5:41 AM

Does your brothers band ever play in LA?

Breezy | 7:30 AM

Happy Birthday to Fable and to mommy and daddy! And Happy one year of being a great Big Brother to Archer!! I never realized until I had my son (10 months ago) how special your child's birthday is and what it means as a mother (tears, as I think about my son turning one two months from today!) I love the cupcake picture and I'm sure you noticed that all of the sudden, in that one picture, she looks soo different...like a "big girl", not a baby =( I'm still advocating for 1 year olds to be called babies and not toddlers =)

Mariselle | 9:10 AM

Feliz CumpleaƱos, Fable!

GingerB | 9:01 PM

Happy Birthday Fabes!!

I love you and your wonderful family. Well done, mama!

mfk | 10:30 PM

Awwww. Happy birthday Fabes! I LOVE that Archer calls her Fabes. You have such great kids ... sweet and beautiful... and OLD but we can ignore that part. :) I love the picture of her with her cupcake too... "what is this amazingness??? omg!!!"

Bex | 10:41 AM

I remember when she was born--I'd just found out I was pregnant and scared to death. Watching her grow gave me a sense of peace that what was happening to me was a joy and not a tragedy. Hard to believe I've been there for all these milestones for the daughter of someone I've never even met. Ah, the Internet.

The Girl | 12:03 PM

Look at that picture of her at two days old - god, Bec, she looked like a doll. She still does. How heart-breakingly beautiful she is.