Seriously? She's wearing pink tights and a dress with flowers all over it. COME ON!


okay so not in this picture. but she is wearing a skirt and a heart headband. same diff.

Fable has her father's hair. When Archer was a baby he did, too.

I always figured Archer's boyish manliness was why he was never once referred to as a "cute baby girl." Always a boy was he. But now I know. There was nothing manly about his infancy. He was just bald and therefor assumed to be a dude. Because girls are supposed to be born with full heads of hair apparently. And by the time they're one-year-old they're required by social law to have long flowing locks.

And when they aren't? Hairclub for babies is born. And/or infant ear-piercing.

Recently, I've taken to barrettes because Fable sadly refuses hats. Headbands, too.

(although not on this particular day.)

Anyway, the other day, whilst pushing Fable down the boulevard, en route to Latte-ville, a kind-looking and apparently-blind person bent over and waved her hand in Fable's face.

"How cute is he! Weaing his sister's barrettes? Aw. My son used to LOVE wearing his sister's clothes! It's so sweet!"

Now I will explain to you exactly what Fable, "my darling son" was wearing. Not one. Not two. But ALL of the following items:

1. pink.
2. purple
3. rainbows
4. flowers
5. sparkles
6. pink sparkles
7. hearts
8. a vagina
9. floral barrettes
10. a pink and purple blankie with floral rainbow sparkle heart vaginas on it.


Right? I mean...

She was literally wearing head-to-toe pink and purple frilly, floral femininity and this was the fourth, maybe even fifth time in less than two blocks someone assumed she was a boy.

Because of her hair? I guess?

The truth is? For the last year, 99% of people have been all "what's his name! I love his dress!"

Seriously, people. There's a fine line between being open-minded to cross-dressing infants and plain-old idiotic.

...So anyway - I was minding my business totally fine and ho-hum-whatever re: correcting people's disregard for the obvious when this chick comes up to us and compliments "my son's rainbow sparkle pink bow barrettes."

I mean seriously what the fuck.

"Really? You think I would put pink-glittered heart-barrettes in my son's hair?"

"Oh! I mean... I don't know."

"You think I would dress my son in purple flowered tights and a pink dress with little heart shoes and push him around the neighborhood? Order a soy latte at Starbucks? Pick up some dry shampoo at the Beauty Supply store? Meet a friend for lunch with my son and his rose petal sparkle hairclips and purple-hearted leg warmers?"

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

"Well... he? looks great in purple."

"Fuck you! She's a girl. A goddamn motherfucking girl."

Okay so I didn't say that. I'm far too nice. But that's totally what I meant when I said, "Thanks! Have a great day! Love your shoes!"

(She did have very nice shoes.)

(For someone who obviously had no clue.)

(This is why people pierce their daughters ears at birth, right?)

(Not that I would per se.)

(I just get it now.)

(How annoyed are you that I'm typing in parenthesis right now?)

(Good. Now you know how I feel every time I leave the house with my "son" who has a vagina and wears girl's clothes.)

Lame.

GGC

169 comments:

makyo | 11:00 AM

i was bald for the first two years of my life. my parents claim i looked like gerald ford. i have no idea what strangers said about me.

if it makes you feel any better, when my hair did finally grow in it was really, really thick & grew very long, very fast. i wore it to my waist until i was about 12. our family hairdresser used to spin me around in the chair and tell me i looked like the breck girl :)

Hubbard Family | 11:02 AM

Thanks for the laugh.

the bellyacher | 11:02 AM

People are lame...and blind apparently!

Anyway...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell me that baby bangs is fake. Pleeeease.

whitney | 11:05 AM

awesome. my daughter didn't have "girly" hair till...well, she still doesn't really. she's two. we can manage an awkward, messy bun at this point but far away from flowing locks are we. used to happen to me ALL the time.

though, appreciate that baby hair now. soon it will be gone and you will miss it as your comb out the knots.

Sarah | 11:08 AM

haha, hilarious GGC... I can't believe with all the girly bells & whistles people would still make those comments!
Apparently as a kid, I also was assumed to be a boy. Probably because I was bald as a bowling ball until I was 2!!! So at least she has some hair to speak of!

tlh | 11:08 AM

10. a pink and purple blankie with floral rainbow sparkle heart vaginas on it.

that's some funny shit!

xoxo

leila | 11:09 AM

Everyone does EXACTLY the same thing with my daughter, even if she's in all-out pink/sparkles/flowers/lipstick too.

Luckily, these products exist for us: http://www.babybangshairband.com/

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Jelena | 11:11 AM

Thank you for this. It's hilarious and dead-on accurate. I get the same thing with my 16-month-old girl. I've even tried putting a onesie on her with a pic of a vagina on it. No luck.

http://itinerantyak.wordpress.com/

Anonymous | 11:13 AM

Amen. I have 3 boys: all with curly, long hair and long LONG eyelashes. BUT dressed in navy blue windpants, white plain NIKE T-shirts, NIKE running shoes. And I get, "what cute tomboys you have!" yup. Like I would take a girl with pretty curls and long eyelashes and put her in her brother's sports clothes.

Sheesh, people. Can you just say, "cute kid." Thank you.

Still Life With Coffee | 11:16 AM

This post is totally hilarious! Same thing has happened to my 15 month old girl all dressed in pink and flowers with a clip in her hair. "How old is he? What is he going to be for halloween? He is so cute".
Must be the hair length. Go figure.
Thanks for the super funny and true post.

ladythor | 11:26 AM

laughed so much at this

nikki | 11:30 AM

My son was constantly referred to as "a beautiful girl". While wearing a blue sweatsuit covered with sport paraphernalia. Just because he had lots of dark brown curl hair. Not even LONG curly hair! I just fucking gave up.

JuJu | 11:40 AM

I remember my oldest once wearing a frilly, pink sleeper that had "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS" emblazoned on the chest - and one dumbass STILL said I had such an "adorable baby boy."

Ay yi yi. ;)

Anonymous | 11:43 AM

What is wrong with those people?

Fable looks like a girl, she has a little girls face, she does need longer hair for people to see that!

Obviously pink sparkles are considered unisex these days.

Maggie Musicien | 11:44 AM

HA! People are idiots...My brothers Sam and Owen were both mistaken for girls for years. They were both blessed with a shock of blonde curls that no mother would have been able to cut without tears. So we just dealt with the mistakes of strangers with gentle, subtle corrections and rolled eyes...

Alana | 11:45 AM

Ooooh I feel for you. When I was in 4th grade, my mom took me to get my hair cut, and they thought I was a boy and gave me a boy's hair cut. Oh yes. Yes they did.

p.s. I'm a girl. With a vagina.

Jasie VanGesen | 11:45 AM

Get the little lady a pink shirt that says "proud owner of a fucking vagina, you twats."

Do it.

Kalee | 11:47 AM

Thank you for sharing this, I laughed so hard I almost cried! Okay, I was the baby with the cute wispy curls, big eyes and dimples, and my niece looks just like me, so we've never been mistaken for boys (although I do get asked if she's my daughter). However, my brother, her father? Just as pretty as a baby, with long, long eyelashes (which she, lucky bitch, inherited), so I know that plenty of times he got confused as a girl....in sailor outfits and all!

Jen | 11:51 AM

A similar thing happened with my son at the grocery store. He was wearing blue, lots of it. Which, ok, girls can wear blue too. But he was dressed very boyish. "Oh cute baby. What's her name?" I was asked. "His name is Carter, thanks." At which point the person shrugged and said "It's so hard to tell."

Indeed.

Sarah | 11:51 AM

"Thanks! Have a great day! Love your shoes!"

Those three little exclamation points pretty much sum up most of my public interactions: thinking one thing that's shocking, or witty, or eloquent, and saying another.

Thanks for helping me find a much needed laugh.

Love your shoes!
-Sarah

Joanna | 11:52 AM

People are just stupid. I had my daughter in a pink dress (with ruffles and lace), pink socks, with a pink blankie and all purple and pink toys. And, looking straight at her. "Aw, how old is he?" I reply. "SHE is 8 months" They respond "oh, I couldn't tell." I swear next time I'm going to ask people if they noticed the pink. It's nice to know that I don't have the only feminine "little boy"

bluejeanamy | 11:52 AM

a) this post is hilarious. i heart you.

b) people are idiots.

c) i was bald till i was ~2 as was every baby in my family. my little lady is due in february and no DOUBT she will be equally hairless; i'm not even gonna TRY and girly her up now that i know it's no use. thanks for the heads up.

AVB | 11:53 AM

My sister was born with a full head of dark brown hair and STILL she was called a boy for two years, despite my mom's best efforts with the girly barrettes and all the pink clothes and dresses.

Emily | 11:53 AM

This happens to me with my daughter too. I never thought I'd be a mom who dressed her daughter in all pink and such but I do now so she looks like a girl and yet I still get these comments.

Melinda | 11:53 AM

I am so going to get into trouble at work for reading this post and laughing so hard. People are staring at me. Seriously, people pink, purple, flowers....SHE IS ALL GIRL! I have never seen a baby girl look more girly than Fable.

Carrie | 11:54 AM

At my baby's two month checkup, right after the nurse saw her completely naked and I put her pink onesie back on, she repeatedly referred to my baby as a "he". Like, at least five times. She actually saw her vagina and then called her a "he".

Laura | 11:55 AM

The same thing used to happen to me with my sweet little GIRL. I'd dress her in pink from head to toe and some old lady would ask, "what's his name?"

Kendra | 11:56 AM

I hate when people do that. My daugher has been called a boy while wearing a dress and my son has been called a girl whily wearing a shirt with a dump truck on it. After my son was called a girl, my husband cut his hair very short. He was ready for the military with that haircut. It might have been an over reaction on his part.

caleal | 11:56 AM

I, apparently, had the same problem when I was a baby. Drove my mom nuts. She would cover me, head to toe, in lace and frills and pink and sparkle, to no avail. And it did stop happening when my hair grew out. I think I was nearly two-and-a-half before that happened though.

You may just have to hang on a little longer. Or, print her a T Shirt that says "I Have a Vagina, Moron."

Though people will probably still make the mistake.

Juggle Jane | 11:57 AM

HI-larious. As always.
xo

A | 11:58 AM

I am a girl, but I was mistaken as a boy for all of my childhood. It would upset me everytime someone mistook me for a boy or asked if I was a girl or a boy, but looking back at photos of myself I see how there may have been some confusion to the casual observer. I had short red hair, lots of freckles and was tall and kind of rangy and athletic. I had earrings, but I dressed to be active so that meant lots of trousers and shorts and t-shirts (which meant big, billowy, booby-hiding things in the '80s) (I mean, what boobies there were to hide..). I was uncomfortable in my skin, but I think I thought I looked okay. Nonetheless, everytime I was called a boy or 'your son' I would die a little bit inside. (But doesn't everything kill you a little bit inside when you're a teenager? And then it makes you a stronger person with funny/sad/awful memories.)

The last time it happened, I was 17 (!) and wearing my high school kilt. (A SKIRT! Which, uh, is worn by manly Scottish men so... ) I was at the dentist after school, and a little boy in the waiting room looked up at me and asked, really loud, in front of everybody, "Are you a boy or a girl?" It killed me again because outta the mouths of babes, you know?

Anyway, now I am definitely a woman, with a 9-week old daughter of my own. She's draped over my shoulder as I type this. I hope she won't have the same trouble over her appearance as I did. Right now, she is so freakin' pretty I can't ever imagine that being an issue. No doubt she'll have issues of her own though. Whatever they may be, I hope that she will trust me enough to confide in me.

Nothing But Bonfires | 12:00 PM

Oh Rebecca, I'm dying. People are crazy! Why would they overlook about fifteen glaringly obvious SHE'S A GIRL! factors and STILL think it polite to draw the conclusion that Fable is a boy? OUT LOUD? I mean, WTF?

(When I was little, I DID totally dress my little brother up in my clothes. Barrettes too. But whatever, he liked it. He used to ask me to call him Caroline. His name is Tom.)

Anonymous | 12:02 PM

So funny! Every time I take my little baldie boy out in anything that is the least bit gender neutral (like a litte gray and red carters outfit), everyone says what an adorable girl he is! I don't mind - I think he is quite pretty.

phoebe | 12:03 PM

My son who was bald was ALWAYS called a girl. I chalked it up to him being an attractive little boy. I didn't balk when he was wearing red or purple, but dino shirts or trucks?? Come on! My daughter who has a whole head of hair is always called a boy. Even when wearing head to toe pink and ruffles. What the Fuck is right. Can't they just say "what a pretty baby" and stop before they make an idiot out of themselves. Yesterday someone asked if my daughter was a girl/boy because "you can't tell the way they dress them these days". She was wearing a dress, tights and PINK PINK PINK. Aaah.

Leah | 12:06 PM

I tend to attribute this to the dumbing down of Americans re: the English language. I knew a guy once who constantly got his "he"s and "she"s mixed up. And he was a native English speaker! Crazytown.

For the record, though, we have totally put our son in a dress.

Desiree Fawn | 12:09 PM

Hah, oh man, I feel your pain!
Gretchen gets mistaken for a boy EVERY FREAKING DAY.
It totally doesn't matter what you put on them -- people just assume!
Bah!

Anonymous | 12:10 PM

Oh do I hear you! My daughter is almost 5 and still has wispy baby hair. We've not gotten it cut AT ALL and it's still above her ears. Poor thing. We always dress her in pink - actually for her first year of school had her wear only dresses for the first month, so the kids would know she was a girl. But what do you think people call her?!?!? Funniest thing is my DH has long curly hair in a pony tail - some weird gender bending going on in our family I guess. I think your post said it best - next time I'm going to respond like you! Thanks for the inspriation!

Heather Freeman | 12:14 PM

My son's another with the blond curls and everyone, everyone! assuming he's a girl, no matter what I dress him in. I'm more amused than anything else, but - wow. Why bother with gendered clothes at all if people go right to the hair as the definitive criteria?

And yeah, to echo another poster, why can't people just say "cute kid"? instead of insisting on knowing what genitalia my child happens to have? Really pretty creepy when you think about it.

Jessi | 12:14 PM

I had this problem with my oldest and now again with my youngest and they have a ton of hair. I don't get it. But yes, I want to punch them in the teeth and both of my children dress way girlier than I am comfortable with because I don't like them being mistaken for boys.

mrs.notouching | 12:23 PM

I get this ALL the time for the same reason, so for Halloween this year we are dressing her as a "boy"... so I pretty much don't have to buy anything.

Anonymous | 12:27 PM

My daughter was born bald and with her father's features. One day while dressed head to toe pink (including a pink gingham & flowered hat) I was asked "What's his name?" and when I replied "Emily" the man said "You named your son Emily?" Luckily no reply was needed, a simple "Duh" stare brought the man back to reality.

At four she is now an unmistakable girl, all pony tails and tutus. However, her sister was just born and I know I have at least two more years of "really, she's a girl" ahead of me.

Laurie | 12:29 PM

My own father used to continually refer to my son as "she." What up with that?

Breezy | 12:30 PM

This has happened to me twice in the last month...my son being called a "she". Honestly I was prepared for it early on, like when he was a few weeks old, not 11months old. But, they always said "he", until recently. The odd thing is he has VERY little hair. I was actually thinking it was fortunate that he's a boy b/c I figured a girl would be mistaken with such little hair (though Fable has a lot more hair than my son, and looks like a girl!). Connor has crazy long eyelashes, so I guess that's where they're getting the "she"...don't people know that it's typically boys that get the long eyelashes we all covet? Why else would we need mascara and latisse and eyelash curlers and fake lashes? GEEZ! These idiots must be the same ones that come up to you when you're pregnant and say "You're ready to pop!" when you're only 5 months along or "I can tell you're having a girl"-obviously they need to brush up on their people skillz! Lesson 1: When approaching a baby, unless the caregiver refers to the child as "he" or "she" you should not do so either. Kindly say "Oh how cute YOU are! What is YOUR name. Look at YOUR pretty dress." Feel free to tell the mother/father/etc "You have a beautiful baby/child." I will not assume that just because you used "beautiful" that you think my child is a girl. Boys are beautiful too.-end lesson

showmeyourcookies | 12:32 PM

Dood. It could be worse. I was born in Japan (dad was military) and mom used to love to tell the story of how the Japanese women near the base would not even ask, they would just slip their hand in the baby's diaper to check. But honestly, who cares what gender the babe is? I always toe the line carefully when I see any baby (regardless of how he/she is bedecked) and say things like, "how old is your baby?" or "cute baby" or "hi, little one!" Also, don't pierce Fable's ears. She's adorable and all baby girl. :) That and, have you ever noticed how girls who got pierced really young wind up with really high up holes on their lobes when they're older?

Heidi | 12:41 PM

I had this same issue with my daughter, but she had a head FULL of brown hair from birth on!!!

So, I think...people are just stupid.

And insensitive.

And stupid.

Laura | 12:44 PM

I always try to use gender-neutral terms when complimenting the adorable-ness of others' children - e.g., What a cute kiddo!, etc. Wouldn't it all be easier if we had gender-neutral pronouns too?!

I also think that it is interesting to think about why this is so annoying. I get that no one wants to be called something they are not, but there's also something about gender that makes it seem especially offensive when you get it wrong. I'd love to hear thoughts on what you think that is!

dani | 12:45 PM

A vagina! I love it. This why people should say "your baby is adorable when in doubt." Or, you know, not go up to complete strangers and assume. Especially when the child in question is head-to-toe girly. I wish you would have said that to the woman, though.

showmeyourcookies - my mom pierced my ears when I was two months old. I got a second hole later on but have since let those close up, so not _all_ babies with pierced ears grow up to have 27 holes in their ears.

Amanda | 12:46 PM

People do this with Jack too. It just baffles me! He's walking into an elevator in a blue and green striped sweater, jeans and chucks and toy car in his hand and this lady is like "she's so cute!"

Ummm, lady are you senile!

It's then when I want to yell out "I love my little gay son!"

foodiemama | 12:54 PM

i've got a 5 yr old BOY- WITH A PENIS with long flowing blonde locks. So, ya-i get you. at 5 you can tell the difference. most people i want to punch and oddly enough old people and little girls tend to be the ones who are smart enough to know he's a boy. go figure. when gus was little (2-3 yrs) he would just say hey, i have a penis. now prior to talking to/meeting anyone new he starts everything out right with an automatic, "I'm a HE!" just so they know, ha!

Cave Momma | 1:03 PM

I completely understand. My daughter had about the same amount of hair at 1 year and EVERYONE called her a boy no matter what she was wearing. It's the most annoying thing.

Allison the Meep | 1:03 PM

Julian is 5 now, and since he was born, people have been telling me what a pretty little girl I have. Even when he would only wear extremely boyish things, like a cowboy outfit, or his Batman pajamas in public. His hair is curly and longer than a typical little boy haircut, but it still definitely falls into the boy category hair.

And it doesn't help that his name is Julian, either. Because apparently, people have never heard of this WAY common English boy name and assume it is only for girls.

Them:"Your daughter is so pretty!"
Me: "Thanks. He's a really great boy."

Seriously. I hope by the time he has a beard people think he's a boy.

Hef | 1:07 PM

When my daughter was 15-ish months and we were doing laundry and she was wearing PINK pants with flowers and carrying a BIG, bright, sparkly pink purse, I had TWO old people tell me how cute HE was.

It happened a lot.

Now she's three and has ridiculously beautiful long blonde ringlets and all those "Aw, what's his name, that's such a cute dress" comments are a thing of the past.

buenobaby | 1:20 PM

Lady on street approaches me with my two girls in identical dresses:

Are they twins?

No

What's your daughters name?

Whitney

What's your son's name?

What?

His name is "What"?

No his name isn't what. What? - you thought SHE was a boy?

Isn't HE?

She probably asks women when their due. Even if their not pregnant.

kim | 1:23 PM

ba haa haaa. don't ever let fable stop wearing her vagina, and i would love to see her vagina blanket. i am giggling and have tears in my eyes right now. my daughter has come over to investigate what is so funny, and when i did not answer "what is so funny." she decided to jump up in my lap and try and see for herself. so glad this wasn't a video for her sake.


on a more serious note i have gotten these both times around. with my daughter who was quite obviously wearing a dress and my son who was sporting a camo hoodie. i guess some people are just plain dumb.

Robyn ...but call me Rob | 1:24 PM

Seriously, that was the funniest thing I've read all week~! :-)

kimberly | 1:26 PM

I think it's gotten kind of absurd how much people obsess over gendering their children. Seriously, what's the difference? Babies aren't procreating. That's the only reason we have a sex to begin with. Just let it fly...

On a side note: Babies/toddlers with long hair look creepy in my opinion. Kids that age always have such fine hair. It just ends up looking terrible when it's grown out. I would keep my daughter's hair short, even if it was thick and grew out a lot (which I'm sure it will, given that I was born with a massive afro - no lie).

Marketing Mama | 1:31 PM

As always...love love love your posts. WTF is with people? Honestly. Fable is adorable as always.

Marian | 1:32 PM

people always think both of my children, 6 year old boy and 3 year old girl, are girls. since birth. always. and i think, although sometimes funny, that it's generally just sad because i think people assume they're both girls because they are both kind-of objectively really pretty and always had lots of hair. like, boy babies aren't pretty? it is really sad. i hardly ever correct people. it's become an issue a couple times when random strangers have tried to address my son as "girl" or with other kids as "girls" and he doesn't respond, because he isn't a girl, and then the adult gets louder and more insistent. so now i know this and watch for it. sad.

eefpeef | 1:43 PM

This happened A LOT to us here in Spain. Since my daughter doesn´t have her ears pierced, everyone assumed she must be a boy... She could be wearing the girliest dress, and even when her hair was growing... "oh, he´s so beautiful!". After a while, I stopped correcting them.

Ryan and Katie | 1:48 PM

It's funny but the other day I was on the other side of the story and felt so stupid as to why I couldn't put 2 and 2 together. There was a baby in an orange onesie and I got in my head that was a boy baby. I noticed he had on a purple cloth diaper. THe mom changed it into a pink one and I thought that was odd for a boy to have girly diapers. Then she even told me her baby's name was Meredith and I thought Meredith was an odd boy's name. It wasn't until she said "she" that I felt sooo dumb. I don't know why I couldn't add it all up that he was not a he but a she! And I am recently a mother whose daughter has been mistaken for a boy with her girly outfit on and purple blanket so I felt even worse!

Mimi | 1:49 PM

This post is awesome. I relate, because my little boy was constantly mistaken for a girl when he was a baby. He had curly hair and full lips and was a little femmy-looking, I suppose. But he was also always dressed in blue... with trucks, cars, spaceships... everything manly. Believe the clothes, people. Believe the clothes!

Karen Chatters | 1:50 PM

Oh, I so hear you! Courtney leaves the house in head to toe pink, she looks like the pepto bottle puked on her head. And people will be all, "Oh, he's so cute." WTF, yo. GIRL!! SHE'S A GIRL!!!

And i HATE pink. It disgusts me. I don't know why I bother, people thing "he's" so cute.

Surprised Suburban Wife | 2:10 PM

This happens ALL THE EFFIN time with my 22 month old daughter who has *maybe* 5% more hair than Fable. And her stroller is pink and brown. She wears pink/girly stuff regularly. Would you dress your sun in flowers and butterflies even though they're on a blue shirt, oh and the blue shirt has ruffly sleeves and say, some lacy bits? I THINK NOT. People are crazy.

ps be thankful that Fable permits barettes. Megan does not. She simply says "OFF" and pulls them out:(

Portia | 2:23 PM

Ahh my mom got my ears pierced for this very reason. Apparetly, that didn't even stop some people from thinking I was a boy...

Anonymous | 2:26 PM

This makes me laugh, because my son, who is 3, has a great head of hair a little past his shoulders, and because of this everyone assumes he's a girl. NEVER has he worn something even slightly feminine. Annoys the crap out of me. Little boys with long hair rock. Peope can be so stupid.

Dari | 2:41 PM

Shit people!! Honestly!? I get the same thing sometimes. Lola even has a good head-full of curly hair, which usually has a clip or something in it and she is always dressed in something pink/girly.

We had this same think happen last weekend. The lady at the hay ride kept calling her big guy and saying how "he" turned his head when she took the picture of us. WTF!?!

I have toyed with getting her ears pierced for this same reason.

Fable is beautiful... people are retarded!

Bekka | 2:54 PM

"I think it's gotten kind of absurd how much people obsess over gendering their children. Seriously, what's the difference?"

I agree completely - while I get that it's totally frustrating for people to make assumptions about your kid (I'm also of the 'cute baby' school of thought), the reason people make mistakes is because MALE AND FEMALE BABIES LOOK THE SAME. And I don't understand why that's such a big deal. Do you really treat boy and girl babies that differently? Do you expect other people to? They're infants. Is it really necessary to start instituting rigid boundaries between the genders at such a young age? I like to think that most of the other commenters would be offended if someone asked, in shock, why their five year old girl was allowed to play with trucks, or wear pants, or for that matter designate adult jobs as 'mens work' or 'womens work.' But it starts with this very same offense at the idea that there might ever be any common ground between to two.

To clarify, I know this isn't really what the OP was about - and people ignoring obvious cues and making creepily familiar comments is a legitimate problem. But the deeply felt offense over the mix-up points to some deeper issues with the 'right' gender.

Meggan Hood | 3:21 PM

This happens ALL OF THE TIME with our daughter. She's almost 18 months and almost completely bald. The little hair she does have is white blonde and everyone assumes she's a boy. At dinner the other night she was sitting in her pink dress with a pink bib on and this guy goes - What a handsome fella! Really dude? Bah! I'm just embracing it and loving the fact that I only have one head of hair to do in the morning, dressing two girls is enough stress!

Mrs. Sitcom | 3:53 PM

SERIOUSLY?! People are RIDICULOUS(ly stupid.) Dude. It's one thing to think, to yourself inside your own idiotic head, "Gee, that little boy is wearing a dress and tights and sparkly barrettes." It's just SO far over the line to actually SAY THAT OUT LOUD and advertise to the world what a STARK RAVING MORON YOU ARE. Geeeeez! PS She is adorable, and very clearly a GIRL!

bold | 4:01 PM

I once had a man on an airplane ask "What's the baby's name?" and when I answered told me, "Jennifer is a strange name for a little boy."

Chica | 4:12 PM

Ok, this is one of the funniest posts you've written. I'm still giggling. Sorry. It must be frustrating, hence the reason my ears were pierced at the age of 1. My mom claims everyone kept thinking I was a boy.

lizzie | 4:27 PM

dude, why's it such a big deal--
it's awesome that you live in such a liberal-minded area.

Amber | 4:32 PM

This is awesome. If it makes you feel any better, my mom had the same experience with me when I was a baby, except I WAS born with a head full of hair--I was also born quite large, which apparently meant there was no way I could be a girl. She said she would dress me completely in pink with barrettes and everything, and she'd still get compliments on her son.

SoMo | 4:40 PM

Yeah, it is annoying to say the least. On my second girl, I am getting the same thing. In their defense I am using my son's blue camo cart cover, but she is dressed in full on pink and her name is on her blanket. I don't think I would name a boy, Evangeline, but I guess you never know, right?

I just go with it, because I will never see these people again and one day my daughter will speak and say, "Hey, I am a girl, asshole." That's my girl.

I did have a woman say in a snotty way that it was my fault that she thought my daughter was a boy, because I didn't pierce her ears. I guess my daughters can just add that to their therapy list of why my mom screwed me up.

Whateve!

Anonymous | 4:48 PM

This is hilarious!!

I get a lot of comments about my adorable twins. My son is a large (95th percentile) 3 year old and my daughter is a small (3rd percentile) 1 year old. And this is when they are walking next to each other not in a stroller. Yup we just starve the girl and feed the boy steroids. People are clueless.

Amie | 4:52 PM

WHAT??? ARE KIDDING ME????? HOW IS IT THAT PEOPLE CAN BE SOOOOOOO CLUELESS??? AT THIS AGE GENDER IS ALWAYS CUED BY CLOTHING, RIGHT? I THOUGHT EVERYONE KNEW THIS???? OMG! SORRY FOR WRITING IN ALL CAPS BUT I AM SERIOUSLY STUNNED AT THE IDIOCRACY SOMETIMES!

Bex | 5:09 PM

For what it's worth, I would never mistake Fable for a boy. Even if she were bald.

kateypie35 | 5:10 PM

My son has red curly hair...he looks pretty cherubic. Someone told me straight out that "he has a very pretty face, he doesn't look macho." Eh????? Do 21 month olds every look macho?
EVERYONE thinks he is a girl. And short of dressing him in a 3 piece suit or letting his balls hang out, I really can't do anything about it. Little boy clothes are pretty gender neutral, and he has these luscious curls. Pffft.

Anonymous | 5:25 PM

Can I just mention how much this post made me laugh??? Thank you for that and please keep up with your musings...

margaret | 5:28 PM

OMG that is TOO MUCH. My son often get the "he/she" and the "... ???" and sometimes, "Well, obviously he's a boy!" And that is when I wonder if they see that he is dressed head-to-toe in BLUE and blue and more blue. I mean, I get it when he's wearing green. But WOW. To go up to an obviously girl-dressed child and ASSUME that it's a boy is ABSURD. Like, totally cracked up. I DARE you to blog out loud for that one. Even in L.A. that is too weird.

Adventures In Babywearing | 5:36 PM

Ivy has similar hair, but thankfully (I guess?) it's turning into a long mullet. I'm thankful she has ANY hair at all. She won't even do barrettes anymore. I had this problem with my son- he had hardly any hair but people thought HE was a girl. And one time a FAMILY FRIEND told us he'd make such a pretty girl.

What is wrong with people?

Steph

Sarah | 5:52 PM

I can totally sympathize, I was essentially bald until I hit 5 years old. When I did finally get hair, it was platinum blonde and approximately 2.5cm long.

I had my ears pierced at a young age and while walking down the street in a pink dress with pink shoes, pink tights, earrings and bows in my hair, people would still mistake me for a boy.

Once I was old enough to talk, my grandma trained me to respond "I'm not a boy, I have a vagina!". That took care of the problem fairly quickly.

-Sarah

Heather | 6:04 PM

I have the same problem with Clara, and she has the same barely-there hair as Fable. I think it must be the hair.

Meanwhile, Miles has all that curly hair, and everyone thinks he is a girl (even when dressed in navy shorts and a transformer t-shirt).

I give up.

Trista | 6:47 PM

I think the default setting for baby gender assumptions is "boy." I took my daughter in to work to visit while I was on mat leave, and she was dressed in a flowered outfit topped with a white, frilly hand-knit sweater with pink ribbons, tucked into her pink cherry blossom-patterned stroller with a pink blanket (bordered in pink satin), and as I was getting on the elevator to leave someone said "how old is he?" And my eyes bugged out and I was like "SERIOUSLY??"

Risa | 7:17 PM

One day a couple behind me and my daughter in line at a coffee shop (very loudly) whispered to each other about "why would I put my son in pink leggings". She too has very little hair but COME ON!! She's six months old. People are stupid.

Anonymous | 7:33 PM

My daughter had absolutely no hair until she was two, and then two or three strands grew in. Seriously, I thought she might enter kindergarten bald. Don't even bother with the ear piercing, we tried that and got comments like "what a cute little boy, love his sparkly earrings". No joke. The world is full of idiots with no power of observation. Just saying.

Rebecca | 7:41 PM

But Hal doesn't have any hair. Because it floated way up into the sky. =)

I remember these things.

janie | 8:06 PM

Fable should meet me son. He's 2 and everyone thinks that he is a girl simply because he has TONS of hair and refuses to have it cut. Yeh, he was born with lots of hair and it just gets longer. He also loves anything "boy" superheros (that I try to keep away from him until he started crying uncontrollably) trunks and everything blue, green, and dirty. If we put them together people would just have a field day missing gender cues.

mommymae | 8:23 PM

just the other day the dry cleaner looked at miss jamison & was talking "he" this & "he" that. and she was decked out in pink. pink!

the same thing happened to the twins when they were little. now that i think about it they didn't get real "girly" hair until they played beauty shop.

and the boy was mistaken for a girl all. the. time. with his shaggy blond locks. while wearing all black & boyish duds.

whatevs. people are wack.

chris | 8:31 PM

I think the solution is obvious. You need to buy fable a wig.

Mrs. Cline | 8:47 PM

Clearly none of *those* people read your blog. Losers.

ninjette | 8:49 PM

Those people are as blind as they are ignorant ... try not to let them get to you. Fable is THE most feminine, beautiful baby girl i've seen in years. Even without the headbands and dresses, she's obviously a girl and will always be.

Sara Eileen | 9:11 PM

So apparently, the new trend in LA is to dress your baby boy like a girl. That's hilarious. Believe me you don't want the hair to deal with. My daughter is almost 17 months and I have to "fix" her hair every morning. I'm talking ponytails, rubberbands, etc. If I don't she rubs her forehead all morning and looks at me scornfully.

Chloe | 9:25 PM

the link about "baby wigs" in your entry today (along with my feelings about the creepy weird sexualization of little girls in general) inspired me to make this post on babycenter:

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a17589525/my_heart_aches_for_future_generations_of_girls.

i thought you or your readers might want to read it.

p.s. fable is gorgeous and so not a boy. people are stupid.

liz | 9:26 PM

My 10mo daughter has some (short, slowly thickening) hair, a very girly face and often wears pink. and purple. and clips. People always either assume she's a boy, or ask 'boy or girl?'. It happens in Australia too.

BabyBangs | 10:12 PM

Ms Woolf,

Hello, I happened upon your very interesting blog post today, and I would like to compliment you by letting you know that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story! Some of the comments left I equally enjOyed reading as well!

Oh, my name is Lisa Griggs Campbell, and I am the creator of Baby Bangs Hairband, or as you put it 'HairClubForBabies'.

I'm thinking you most obviously found out about Baby Bangs while in search of hair accessories for your beautiful daughter, Fable, am I correct?
And you, most likely, have read the many negative comments, blog post, etc that, for the most part, bash my product.
Some complain about how Baby Bangs! are a stupid, useless invention that will cause children to feel inferior at an early age...,some find Baby Bangs discusting and even have compared Baby Bangs to things like fake boobs for babies and botox for babies, someone even commented saying, "what's next, why not put a roll of quarters in your boy babys' diaper, that would make as much sense as Baby Bangs"

Just by reading your blog post today has enlightened me, once again, to the simple fact that there ARE millions of mothers on this Earth that are just like you, who have baby girls that are constantly mistaken for boys, all because she has'nt any hair yet.
This is exactly the main reason why I believe in my product, and I will continue to attempt to get people to lighten up and understand that my product is one that makes perfect sense.
Just look at it with a clear and open mind.

I would like for people to realize that Baby Bangs are novelty make-believe hair, that's it that's all! Baby Bangs are not something to put on your child all day or everyday. These just give mothers like you an alternative for their child to wear, also it will give mother's of bald baby girls the chance to, at least, get an idea of how their baby girl is going to look with hair!
I really don't understand how and why so many people are so negative and offensive/offended about something that offers an immediate solution to a dilemma that has been around for many years!

People need to Calm Down!!! I mean it!
No one is trying to wipe all bald baby girls off the face of the earth with Baby Bangs!, nor do I think bald baby girls are ugly or lacking in beauty at all!
I mean, come on!

It upsets me that some people actually think I invented Baby Bangs solely to banish the sight of bald baby girls FOREVER,... and I cannot believe people actually think that I intended for bald baby girls to wear these as if it were their OWN hair, ALL DAY/EVERY DAY!, all the way until their own hair grows in!!!???
Come on, people! Lighten up! Why all the seriousness about a simple headband with hair attached to it!?!

Whatever happened to just having fun with your baby!!! Geez!!!

Again, I appreciate your story so much!

Thank You!
Lisa Griggs Campbell/Baby Bangs Hair+band
www.baby-bangs.com
Meet the Creators of Baby Bangs!
http://www.photoshow.com/watch/Ua8MN2pB

BabyBangs | 10:19 PM

P.S.
Your daughter is gorgeous!
And I LOVE the name, Fable!!! =)

Liz | 10:57 PM

I gotta tell you. It's near 6am in England now, I'm up writing an essay, procrastinating.

This has to be the best form of procrastination ever, you've had me in stitches for the past 15 minutes, pasting bits into my other insomniac friend's MSN window.

THANK YOU.

p.s. I've always thought Fable looked like a girl? But then, I've been reading this blog since a week before she was born...

kkjayne | 11:12 PM

My son is a baldy and occassionally gets accused of being a girl, even when he's wearing blue... maybe it's the luscious long eyelashes both he and his brother got from their father... (nobody calls their father a girl)

Ray | 11:31 PM

I've heard of the having a baby girl in head-to-toe pink and STILL having people mistake her for a boy. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS! Is cross-dressing babies a new phenomenon or something that we're just not in the know about? Sheesh! You should contact Oprah Winfrey on this subject for a show. Maybe then we'll have the answer on why a small percentage of people would mistake a baby girl for a baby boy in this instance. Maybe then we'll figure it out. LOL!

Question: were the people who were mistaking Fable for a boy older folks, or no? I'm very curious to know.

ZDub | 11:44 PM

I almost peed when I read "a vagina".

Well done.

BB | 12:29 AM

Ah yes.. I get this all the time with my short haired one year old girl no matter what colours or items of clothing I dress her in.

On the flip side a friend of mine was telling me she put her boy in a boy's red jumper with a car on it and some woman said "what a lovely girl". When my friend said "oh he's a boy" the woman told her that she shouldn't dress a boy in red unless she wanted him to be feminine. *sigh*

satakieli | 1:49 AM

Oh that's FUNNY.

My son is always being mistaken for a girl. He has the big ol' eyes and beautiful eyelashes.

I'm like "Dude, he's wearing a shirt with CARS on it." My MIL is insistent that we never dress him in gender neutral clothing... y'know.... just in case.

Sass E-mum | 2:27 AM

It's not the hair. There are some nasty bastards out there.

That has to be the explanation.

Old guys used to say that about Peaches - and she had blonde curls from the three months.

I go on to blithely refer to Peaches as a girl. But I like your unspoken response MUCH more.

Shoshana | 2:48 AM

For what it's worth, 50% of people think that my 14 month old little boy is girl. To top it off, his name could be considered to be a girl's name in certain cultures, so having people ask his name doesn't clear things up. And he wears blue and red ALL THE TIME.

liina | 4:07 AM

Well, you have two boys and I apparently have a son and a daughter! :) (even though there's no pink/purple/glitter in my kids' wardrobe, nor does the little one have much hair...)

Anonymous | 4:20 AM

My older son always got asked if hes happy by havin a small sister now.
actually he had become a younger brother with kinda longish hair afetr birth. Kinda annoying

Little Miss Moi | 4:21 AM

My poor little sproglette gets it all the time, because she's sadly bald at the front, with a little mohawk down the middle. Cute as a button, but sadly we live in the tropics, so there's little chance to dress in more than bloomers and a t-shirt, and it makes delineating between the sexes hard for many people.

Little Miss Moi | 4:28 AM

Then again, the Sprog has in the past two weeks mastered putting bangles on her wrist, putting her big toy necklaces around her neck, and putting headbands on. (meanwhile she can only pull herself to her knees not her feet).

So I think if someone calls her a boy in the future, she'll quickly master how to give them the finger!

Melody | 5:36 AM

I was bald until the age of two, and every stranger on the street thought I was a boy. Of course, my case wasn't helped by the fact that my mom regularly dressed me in my male cousin's hand-me-downs.

phoebe | 5:45 AM

dude, the baby bangs lady read your post!!

Andrea | 6:39 AM

People really are dense...I got asked this question alot when my oldest was a baby...nevermind the fact the her ears were pierced, dressed head to toe in pink..it never failed someone would always stop me in the grocery store and say..."OMG I've never seen such a pretty baby, is it a boy or a girl?" My reply would be.."Oh thanks, it's a boy, I just have him dressed in drag" SERIOUSLY??? Scary to think people like those are actually reproducing (shudder)

Kristin | 6:56 AM

I feel your pain. I have b/g twins and when they were 1 they both had lots of curly hair and big blue eyes. Despite my son wearing very boyish clothes (skull/crossbone and guitar tees and cords/jeans) people always mistakenly said, "Oh, identical twin girls!" And then I would say "NO, he's a boy!" And they would say, "Oh but they are identical!" I finally took to saying, "Yes, identical except for his PENIS!" That shut them up real quick.

Tracie | 7:17 AM

That happened to me constantly when my daughter was a baby. She didn't have long hair until she was almost 3! I used to just smile and say, "Thanks, she is...." People are just lame sometimes.

Although I did once tell a dad that his daughter had gorgeous hair, curly dark hair awesome hair on a sweet toddler, but it was a boy!

Meredith | 7:34 AM

I am always appalled by the rudeness and sheer stupidity of strangers when commenting on the appearance of other people's children. A good friend of mine had a daughter who, much like Fable, had a sparse head of hair well past twelve months old. People would actually say "Wow! Why doesn't she have any hair?" Seriously.
This too shall pass!

Amie | 7:50 AM

writing one more time because the first time I didn't click over to babybangs. Then I read the comments this morning and the women who made the thing wrote in. Again, STUNNED at the idiocracy. Seriously, children are dying, being sexually enslaved, enduring hunger and poverty etc...And this company sells what? I am sorry, but our girls (and boys) have enough on there plates in this world without having to learn that their hair isn't good enough at the ripe old age of babyhood. WTF?

I think your fuck you attitude is far healthier for Fable than the baby hairwig lady will ever understand.

Anonymous | 8:03 AM

i know you're trying to make light of the situation, but i just wonder how all of our society's focus on gender norms benefits us in any way. does it matter if babies look 'like boys' or 'like girls?' not sure where this leaves some young people who eventually struggle with their gender identities (eg. trans folks), etc. 'he' or 'she'... it's just lovely to hear that people are so drawn in by fable's love and light :)

Allison | 8:04 AM

I can totally relate!!! My 13month old son has blond curly hair and the other day while on a plane, the flight attendant said, "She sure is having a good time!".

He was playing with a tractor, dressed in jeans and a brown shirt and was caring a blue blanket! Seriously?!?

Katherine | 8:24 AM

HA! My husband and I were DYING over this post. We have fraternal twin girls and every time we go out - albeit that they are dressed in the same exact thing (sometimes with a little color variation) people, without fail will say "They're so cute, one boy and one girl?". My husband handles it better then me, I tend to go slack jawed and look back and forth between them trying to see where this is coming from. Why would we dress our son and daughter in the same outfit?! We've made a pact to never assume a child's identity (though really, I find it hard not to tell - if you are correctly using your context clues) and instead stick to a general "oh your baby is so beautiful! What's their name?" To which the parent should dutifully reply: "This is my Daughter, Bella..."

Pipsqueak | 9:10 AM

I don't understand why people are so surprised and upset by this. People make and act on incorrect assumptions all the time. My youngest brother got mistaken for a girl all the time (long lashes). My siblings and I are mixed race and we'd often get asked which one was adopted. Or people would ask my mother if she was our nanny. Or if she had us all by the same father. And on and on.

I don't see how the solution is playing in to people's stereotypes. My mother didn't try to change our coloring and dye our hair so we'd all match. She'd answer their questions and spend her time teaching us be confident about who we were, not trying to get unthinking nosy strangers to guess correctly.

Caveat: I don't have kids yet. I don't have people giving me the unasked for advice that parents seem to get.

Megan | 9:24 AM

That does it! People are idiots!!! My daughter was in her stroller with me at the post office. She was wearing a pale aqua blue cable knit cardigan sweater with a pink polo horse on it. She had a matching floral blue, green, and dark blue pair of pants. (COVERED in flowers!) This elderly woman comes up and pokes at her and says "he's so cute!" and I said "she's a girl, her name is Paige" and the woman says in an accusing tone: "well, she's wearing blue!" sigh.

Catherine | 9:30 AM

You're light years ahead of me, Fable! I was a complete baldy sour till I was 3--we are talking peach fuzz, eye lashes on top of my head. Full head of long, thick hair now though! Apparently this runs in my family. When my cousin was a baby, my great-aunt insisted she wear a BONNET WITH FAKE CURLS SEWN TO IT! Have you considered all your options, Bec? *wink*

Liz | 9:50 AM

I feel for you. Both my boys came out with at least 2 inches of dark lovely hair. The oldest one has super long lashes as well. He could have been wearing all blue, holding a football and belching and people still would have thought he was such a "lovely little girl". We have fun with all the hair though. At first he looked like one of the models from the SNL "baby toupee"skit (think newscaster swoop in the front)... then it stuck up constantly and reminded me of eighties new wave bands. My two month old looks a bit more boyish, but has still been called a girl already.

Any baby with little hair just looks odd in my mind because I'm used to full heads. By 1 year my little guy had already had at least 3 haircuts!

Meghan Elaine | 10:26 AM

I totally get it. I have 7th month old boy/girl twins and people stay the STUPIDEST things. First they always ask if they are identical- even though one has a PENIS and one does not. And I recently had my daughter dressed in a blue and brown stripped dress with a brown flowered headband. A lady commented on my twin boys and when I told her Ella was a girl, she looked at me furiously and asked, 'Why then is she wearing blue?!' Wow. Sorry to put you out mame.

Prasti | 10:33 AM

i couldn't help but laugh at this post. i wonder a/b some people sometimes. hair clips, pink, purple, flowers, hearts, glitter...duh! if it's any consolation, a man though my 3 year old daughter was a boy despite the red hat (w/ flowers) and matching scarf she was wearing, the pinks shoes, and the purple coat w/ flowers on it. and never mind the fact that she has long hair. maybe it was the brown pants that threw him off?

Allyssa | 10:53 AM

OMG. This sentence "Seriously, people. There's a fine line between being open-minded to cross-dressing infants and plain-old idiotic." I totally just spit at my computer laughing at that sentence. I was bald for quite awhile as a baby and my mom said she made me wear bonnets. Where's a good ol' bonnet when you need one?

ERM | 11:41 AM

Fable is beautiful and people are so out of it if they think she's a boy! I had hair just like Fable's when i was that age, and around 2 it started to grow in a bit choppily, a la David Bowie. People thought my mom cut it that way on purpose! I guess it was the eighties, but still.


I love your writing-- you are such an inspiration. xoxo

Beth

Able Ponder | 12:06 PM

we have the opposite problem, living in the Deep South-- if my daughter was not wearing pink or a dress, everyone thought she was a boy. Because baby girls don't ever wear jeans, or sneakers, or gender-neutral sweaters.

My husband thinks it's because in the South, it's insulting to call a boy a girl, so unless you're dead certain, aka the child is in pink, assume it's a boy.


and now I have a baby boy! Who occasionally wears his sister's pink onesies and rain hat! But only around the house.

AZ Mommy | 12:14 PM

My son had a full head of hair when he was born, tons of hair. I used to dress him in blue every day once he had on a shirt that said "Future Mr. Right" and I still got "oh what a cute girl" sometimes I would just smile other times I would say "oh HE sure is my handsome BOY" they shut their yap and walk away. A-hole's

Amber | 12:14 PM

Oh my goodness you are so funny. I'd be pissed too. Haaa I'm still chuckling.

Anonymous | 12:17 PM

people thought I was a boy until I was 5 years old. F-I-V-E. I still don't know how I turned out eterosexual after all that pressure
valentina

Miz Kizzle | 1:31 PM

Get her some extensions; that'll do the trick.

lara | 2:03 PM

I had no hair until 2 years old and my mother actually scotch-taped holly and berries on top of my head for formal Christmas photos. Which caused a rash, requiring a trip to the pediatrician. Try explaining that one to the doctor!

Fable looks as girlie as they come. Gorgeous and lovely. People are clueless.

mfk | 2:13 PM

hahahaha... I think I have that same blanket :) And I also think your response from now on should be "She has a vagina and it's covered in pink sparkles and hearts WTF is your problem???"

Seriously though... I knew people assumed that girls were boys if they were dressed in blue... but I have NEVER heard of someone assuming a girl was a boy based on hair, totally overlooking pink-heart-sparkly-vagina-ness. People on the northeast side are too used to hipsters I think ;)

for what it's worth, I think she is the cutest thing to ever hit the internet, boy or girl. also for what it's worth, the doctor when I was born was convinced I was a boy based on the size of my head. Refused to even "check" until the nurse persuaded him that I was, in fact, wearing a vagina. And it was pink and sparkly. But this was almost 26 years ago in West Virginia... I would have expected better from the good people of Los Angeles.

Nicola Proctor | 3:12 PM

My hair is STILL falling out in handfuls post pregnancy, y'all.

(Seriously... bath plughole can't take it anymore).

Where can I get babybangs FOR ME? I'm all about headbands. Well, not really. But I *might* be.

Who invented the word 'bangs' anyway?

Mine don't make any noise whatsoever.

In England where I live, they say 'fringe'.

Equally bad.

(Rebecca, I'm sorry for drinking some glasses of wine and then commenting on your blog.)

Amy | 3:29 PM

and here I am, mourning the fact that my three-year-old has recently assigned a lot of importance to pronouns. I'm actually kind of sad that she's figuring out "girl" vs "boy," especially because she has somehow decided that train engineers are only men. I never put her in pink, because I just didn't want to layer all of that social norm crap onto her before the world made it so. i'm not sure why you're so offended, to tell the truth.

Anonymous | 3:39 PM

I may have spent too much time around people who self-describe as radical non-conformists, but... does it really matter that much that Fable gets mistaken for a boy? A few weeks ago you tweeted about how much you hated the girl fighting on "The Hills" and "The City". It seems to me these two things are in opposition to eachother. Not saying you're wrong because I would probably be annoyed if I were in your shoes too, but just wondering if you should think it through a bit more.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 3:45 PM

COME ON! I'm making A JOKE! The situation is hilarious and I'm making light of how silly...

Do you really think Fable has a blanket with pink sparkle vaginas on it? Because, she really doesn't FYI.

And P.S. Amy? I'm not offended! At all. I'm just MAKING LIGHT of a SILLY situation. Because that's what I do when I'm not taking myself too seriously on this here blog.

Sheesh.

mountain.mama | 3:56 PM

Along these lines, my very different daughters have very different hair. One has gorgeous naturally curly brown hair that was wild when she was little. The other one has thick, straight dark brown hair. I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I LISTENED TO:

"Oh, one has curly hair and one has straight hair!"

I so wanted to say, "Do you think I'm so fucking stupid that I never noticed that?" Jeez. I did say, "Yes, they do." And thought, DUH and double DUH.

People! I thought your post was hilarious.

The Girl | 4:41 PM

You know what's awesome? "Thanks! Have a great day! Love your shoes!" totally rhymes with "Fuck you! She's a girl. A goddamn motherfucking girl." So it all works out.

Also: Dude. Fable got big. What happened to the baby, you baby disappearing magician woman.

Mamalang | 6:40 PM

We had the same problem with my son, only because he had soooo much hair. Everyone assumed he was a girl. Even in the most boyish outfit, and when we took him for his first haircut at 9 months, the lady refused to cut his hair after asking how old "she" was. Told us it was against the law. Idiots.

Fable is gorgeous, and hair will come soon. In the mean time, enjoy people believing you are so open minded that you would totally cross dress your son.

Anonymous | 8:26 PM

goddamn, this is a funny post. i really laughed out loud!!!
and PS. rock on with Archer and his get-dressed-for-tomorrow-before-bed-routine. Maybe i could get my daughter to brush her teeth and pee before dinner. oh, the tantrums. Good thing these said children are so freaking lovable.

Anonymous | 8:43 PM

My daughter still has short hair at the age of two. She was never bald, but it just hasn't really grown much longer. She has always worn a bow in her hair with every outfit and has never been mistaken for a boy. It kind of "femmes up" the short hair better than a little barrett. Not that it really matters. I don't think it hurts Fable's feelings at this point! She's a gorgeous girl!

mom2nji | 8:47 PM

LAME. This is why I just say "oh what a cutie pie!" I had someone ask me if I was sure my first was a boy. He was in blue and had a PENIS, which I offered to show her. Moron.

Tara | 9:17 PM

This seems to be quite the popular post!

The exact opposite has been happening to our son. His full head of wispy brown hair has haunted him since the day he was born. More times than I can count people have told us how beautiful, or cute our little girls is even though HE is wearing BLUE Socks, Shoes, Sweater, riding in a BLUE stroller, a BASEBALL CAP, CAMOUFLAGE PANTS, and a shirt that says BOYS RULE.

I feel your pain, although I have taken the path of least resistance and have stopped correcting people. He is definitely going to have a complex when he gets older.

Sara | 9:48 PM

context clues people. Even my daughter, with a head full of hair and more, was thought to be a boy once because over her purple and green floral turtle neck she had a blue sweater. I guess blue = boy and pink = girl and there is no arguing with that.

OEsme4046 | 10:18 PM

People are lame. Fable is a beautiful little gal and I agree with the person who said her hair will end up growing in thick and lovely. Just wait and see. :-)

Oh, and I totally would have told that lady to piss off.

Meemo | 1:07 AM

My son gets the same thing because of his long wispy hair. And I refuse to cut it just to make him look more boyish.

Get a clue people.

Andrea | 2:10 AM

oh my... my daughter is of the "full, black hair at birth and long luscious locks at 1 year old" variant... and she's dressed pink and purple and frilly almost ALL the time... with pink pacifiers, pink ribboned piggy tails... the whole deal.

and? "look at that cute boy" - MORE THAN ONCE.

people are just stupid.

TheGirl | 6:22 AM

My 6 week old daughter has a full head of dark hair. I don't have any barrettes because i havent seen any that we like. anyway, on days when she has a bright pink hat on with a pink fleece jumper...those are the times when people say "he" what gives?
i mean, i don't get offended, she is a baby,who can ever tell. i think the american education system might need to work more on "understanding context clues" though.

Anonymous | 8:09 AM

LMAO - What a GREAT start to my Saturday/Halloween! You make me laugh. Sorry that something sucky for you, makes me laugh - actually it's the way you word it.

Here's an idea ~ write on a whole post-it note thingy "I'M A GIRL DUMBASS" keep the pad w/ ya & everytime you get asked or told, without speaking, just pull one out & stick it to Fable!!

Megan | 9:46 AM

This happens to us all. the. time. While it certainly baffles me at points (like when Bug is totally dressed like a girl head to toe), for some reason it hasn't ever bothered me. I just expect some people to be idiots and others, I think, are simply oblivious to anything other than their own human experience.

C'est la vie.

Ruth | 12:16 PM

Fable is a girl it is so obvious! I love the way you dress her it is very much the same way I dress Isabel, we love misha lulu and I have that same headband, if people can't decipher her gender with that headband God help them!!!

Amie Simmons | 7:11 PM

shocking. why are people so dumb? but i do have to say that my sister in law came to a family gathering with her son in a pink fuzzy pajama onsie. WTF? This was like a year ago, and I'm still talking about it.

Melissa | 7:41 PM

Hahahah! I am dying after reading this post. I was born with a head full of jet black hair, then after about two weeks, it all fell out and I was COMPLETELY BALD until I was almost two. My mom went right out (to my father's dismay) and got my ears pierced. Even then, she says that people still referred to me as her son. I feel for Fable, but if it helps at all, just think of this as a funny story to tell her when she gets older. I know that I laughed about it when my mom first told me.

Brooke | 11:01 PM

I was bald for almost 3 years. My younger sister's hair was halfway down her back when I managed to sprout more than one curl on the very top of my head. My mom used to TAPE bows on my head and dress me in pink, yet people still thought I was a boy. People are dumb. That's my only conclusion.

tam | 6:45 AM

I dress my daughter in my son's hand me downs (yeah, I'm that cheap) and so I'm braced for people using male pronouns. In the rare moments when anyone refers to her with a feminine pronoun I think "Wow, that's just amazing that they could tell that she's a girl, despite all the blue sports stuff on her! She must exude girliness or something like that."
I think it's a little less of a stretch, though, to dress a girl in boys clothes than to dress a boy in sparkles. Who _are_ these people?!
And, Fable is one of the most feminine-lookin baby/toddler (bobbler you said?) girls I've ever seen. Is there something about you that seems more like a Mom of a son than of a daughter? Is there a subtle difference? I don't know. It's curious, though.

angela | 7:30 AM

Well,
everyone thinks my boy is a girl. He'll be in camo and football shirts and baseball hats and shoes with rockets on them and people will be like, "She is soooooo pretty." And I don't know why. It's not like I put make-up and earrings on him. His hair's not long. I don't know. But it's really weird that people have such diarrhea of the brain sometimes. Oh well. Fable is a beautiful little girl! People are just dumb.

Megan | 7:46 AM

This is the FUNNIEST post I have ever read! I am laughing so hard that my cat has come in to see what is going on. Fable is the most beautiful little girl I have seen in a really long time. I want to squeeze her chubby thighs until her sparkled rainbow headband falls off. That girl is ADORABLE, in a girlie kinda way ;-)

bbmowery | 9:34 AM

Stupid people will continue being stupid. I distinctly remember once when I was 5 years old--and not bald--and wearing my Strawberry Shortcake shirt and pants, a little old lady saying something to my mother like, "what a nice little boy..." Whatever she said, I was old enough to be really pissed off. I was in head to toe pink, in an outfit I really liked, with a girl cartoon character on the front. Yes, I had a pageboy haircut. Grrrr. Still makes me annoyed to think about it. Mom just laughed it off, though.

Michelle | 2:40 PM

People really do assume bald babies are boys. I had the twins I nanny for in purple and pink and an older gentleman called them boys which I politely corrected. I gave him a break since he was probably approaching 80 years old.

Fairly Odd Mother | 4:05 PM

Bald baby girls/toddlers here too. BALD until about 2 when teeny bits of hair sprouted.

My biggest IDIOT moment came when I had my 6 month old daughter in the pool in a ONE PIECE BATHING SUIT with a little frilly skirt on it and someone asked me how old HE was. WTF!?!?!

And, maybe I was just being stubborn but I refused to put anything in their hair to help people figure it out.

Fairly Odd Mother | 4:08 PM

Oh, one other thing: my 2nd daughter has always had super short hair, by (my) choice---it looks adorable on her and is super easy to take care of. When she was about 4, a little boy asked what 'his' name was, and when I said she was a girl, he said she couldn't be a girl b/c she had short hair(! the horror!) and was wearing blue (!ahhhhh!). I cut the kid a break b/c he was maybe 6, but it bugged me.

Jennifer | 6:17 PM

You're hilarious. Love the way you tell a story. And you're two boys are just darling. :)

Lara | 7:15 AM

I am actually horrified FOR you. Because THE HELL? Are there that many crazy women out there who DO dress their boys as little girls that people assume that's what you're doing? I mean, it's one thing if she's wearing a t-shirt and jeans in uni-sex colors and someone innocently makes the mistake, but THE. HELL? Pink sparkles and rainbows and dresses = the kid is LIKELY a girl.

I actually saw this happen at the supermarket. The cashier referred to a baby in a dress as a little boy and in my head I was all, "Seriously? BECAUSE THE KID IS WEARING A DRESS!"

Although, sidenote - my ex-boyfriend's mom wanted a girl sooooooooooooo badly that when her first child,a boy, was born - my ex's older brother - she grew out his hair and dressed him as a little girl FOR TWO YEARS.

Thank god we broke up.

Lara | 7:23 AM

PS - those baby tupees freak me out, dude. BAD. AND. WRONG!

Jennie | 7:48 AM

I can sympathize! Same thing has happened many times with my daughter. It's got to be the hair. People just have this weird mental block to little baby girls without a ton of hair. Some days I got tired of saying "She's a girl." to strangers who would compliment my cute little boy so I just said, "Thanks!" and went on my way!

Sarah | 7:41 AM

I was equally offended when my daughter was a baby + (often!) mistaken for a boy because of her no-hair situation. But now? I wonder why it was so important to me. Now I wish that the dividing line between genders wasn't so darkly marked.

Kira | 11:25 AM

My three sons' biological father is Mexican, and they were therefore born with full heads of thick, dark, gorgeous hair. And eyelashes that Maybelline keeps trying to sell us. No matter WHAT I dressed them in (overalls! baseball caps! t-shirts reading "ASK ME ABOUT MY PENIS!") they were exclaimed over as SUCH ADORABLE GIRLS!
Now I have a daughter, different father, and she is very nearly bald. Do I have to tell you the punchline here? No, I do not.
*sigh*