Posted by GIRL'S GONE CHILD | Friday, January 11, 2008
1. They are painful and therefor painfully unfair (104 degree fevers for three-days straight is just awful and sad.)
2. No one in the house gets any sleep for days, which leads to fatigue and soon a household of grumps and sick mommies. For the third time in six weeks, I'm sick again. Which is insane because I'm a rather healthy individual. (Hal wanted me to add that when I'm sick I lose my voice, which he loves because I cannot talk. Real nice, Hal.)
3. Injecting a child's mouth with a large syringe of pink stuff three times a day for ten days is by far the most torturous thing I have ever done to anybody.
4. Somehow, by default I have been appointed the official shoot-Archer-up-with-drugs-in-his throat person. I get to watch my poor son cry and flail as I pin him down and force him to take his medicine. (Once again, thanks Hal.)
5. Trying to imagine how your son's ear could become (in less than a week!) "ravaged by pussy-goop."
6. Typing "ravaged" and "pussy" in the same sentence and then realizing that might not read properly. (I mean "pus" as in the yellow goopy... never mind.)
7. Getting the church-giggles after re-reading #5. Being unable to explain to Hal what's so funny. (See, Hal! You MISS my voice! You really miss it!)
8. Realizing that I should have titled this post "Five Reasons Why Ear Infections Suck" instead of thinking I could come up with ten original reasons. That was dumb.
9. I think I'm going to add "My Penis" to the end of this post title. You know, to make it more appropriate for those who find this post through... ahem... google.
10. Scratch that, this is a mom-blog. I'm going the mature route.
For more in-depth theatrics from Ear Infectionsville go here.