Today is Valentine's Day, which means since early this morning, Hal has been on his knees, following me around with truffles, roses, compliments, wine, champagne, jewelry, diamond jewelry, a Lexus, gift-certificates for day spas, romantic comedy DVDs, a blow-up doll, feather slippers, heart-shaped erasers, pink socks, a huge greeting card, a huge greeting card in spanish, homemade art, mix CDs, porcelain figurines of angels praying, conversation hearts, oysters, flavored condoms, crotchless underwear, pink mechanical pencils with hearts on them, a stuffed cupid doll, vibrating cock rings, a baby he found, the screener of Valentine's Day (the movie), Astronaut Ice Cream, pajamas with Boston Terriers on them, an erotic massage, a panini press, 101 of the greatest love poems of all time, pasties from Fredericks, Teddy Bears holding fake roses, a cotton-candy scented butt-plug, heart-shaped Bath Salts, Bach recordings on vinyl, Bach recordings on cassette, Bach recordings on compact disc and a Turbosnake.
So if you'll excuse me...
In other news, Happy Chinese New Year, Tigers. RaRRR.
(Here are some fun places to celebrate Chinese New Year with the kids, P.S.)