Valentines, Etc

Today is Valentine's Day, which means since early this morning, Hal has been on his knees, following me around with truffles, roses, compliments, wine, champagne, jewelry, diamond jewelry, a Lexus, gift-certificates for day spas, romantic comedy DVDs, a blow-up doll, feather slippers, heart-shaped erasers, pink socks, a huge greeting card, a huge greeting card in spanish, homemade art, mix CDs, porcelain figurines of angels praying, conversation hearts, oysters, flavored condoms, crotchless underwear, pink mechanical pencils with hearts on them, a stuffed cupid doll, vibrating cock rings, a baby he found, the screener of Valentine's Day (the movie), Astronaut Ice Cream, pajamas with Boston Terriers on them, an erotic massage, a panini press, 101 of the greatest love poems of all time, pasties from Fredericks, Teddy Bears holding fake roses, a cotton-candy scented butt-plug, heart-shaped Bath Salts, Bach recordings on vinyl, Bach recordings on cassette, Bach recordings on compact disc and a Turbosnake.

So if you'll excuse me...

In other news, Happy Chinese New Year, Tigers. RaRRR.

(Here are some fun places to celebrate Chinese New Year with the kids, P.S.)


*Gone Style will be MIA for the next couple of weeks but back soon with some red-hot amazing makeover action. Thanks to all who emailed your stories and commented with recommendations. We're super excited to keep the web series going for as long as you'll watch. Stay tuned for more!


Unknown | 3:02 PM

We exchanged kid valentines and press-on tattoos. Also, our house was thoroughly toilet papered. It's classy around here.

I totally agreed with your take on Valentine's Day in that episode. Happy Day nonetheless.

Therese | 4:06 PM

I feel ya on the rose for my rose business. BARF. Vday cab be a bit of a Hallmark horror day when all the obligatory, conventional cheese is administered and flogged as genuine romantic gestures.
My fave Vday memory is a few years back my husband (who does not usually dabble in anything artsy craftsy) hand drew his very best rendition of a bumble bee (using a text from college as reference) and wrote BEE MINE on the back. He does cute, romantical gestures that he banks on riding out for a few years time every now and then. I'm due pretty soon...
Enjoy the Bach et al. Happy VDay.

Unknown | 4:23 PM

I thought I was the only one who got a teddy bear holding fake roses and a cotton-candy scented butt-plug for Valentine's Day!

Anonymous | 5:53 PM

Your description of Valentine's Days in the past is exactly how it has gone between my wife and I for years! We both agree that we don't care, then the day comes and somehow a fight breaks out because we didn't do anything.

So this year, I completely ignored all notices not to do anything and got her candy and flowers, a card from myself and our daughter, and made her a lobster dinner.

Next goal is to do this on a random day...

Brooke - Little Miss Moi | 5:59 PM

Dear rebecca. It means nothing to us.... I'm more pumped about Chinese New Year! Gung Hei Fat Choi!

Chelsea | 6:45 PM

the blurb before the video has me rolling. you are TOO funny!

You girls are awesome!

foodiemama | 11:24 PM

man, and all i got was a dancing midget and some rusty razor blades... pshhh!

Christine | 12:09 AM

I've been living in Australia for two years now, and I'm finally moving back, just so I can access your blog properly. With comments and shit. I have no idea what was said about the IUD bid-niz, but my two cents say that the copper one, with no hormones and the strings left extra long is wicked. The threads are just a couple soft pieces of fishing line all curled up gently in the back. I've had no children either, and I haven't noticed anything apart from somewhat sharper cramps. Its awesome. You get to be in heat part of the month, too, because you still ovulate.

Ray | 12:22 AM

LOL! That paragraph was awesome! My thoughts on Valentine's Day (and it's not at all original): "If you need a national/commercialized holiday to remind yourself that you care about me, then I seriously DON'T need to be with you." That and this holiday is so forced it has gone from a turn on to a complete, "TURN OFF!" Yes, I'm a cynic. =P

Kayla | 5:38 AM

Holy Hell - I hope that the Gone STyle is not gone becasue of some comments a few idiots mad! If it is then talk about ruining our fun!



Gone Style not gone! Just going to take me a bit to get these videos going. Not easy I say!!! xo!

Kayla | 9:05 AM

Well then that is perfectly understandable!!! I LOVED THEM and like I said once I am back to the land of the employeed, I will def be putting my name in the drawing.


SoccerMOM | 10:30 AM

He must really love you. What a great guy. My guy got me a bosu ball. So either he knows me really well or he thinks I need to exercise. WTF?


"Romance is my number-one turn-off."

I am "me too"-ing the shit out of that statement so hard, you have no idea. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who want nothing more than a man who brings red roses (and later makes super-intense, but also soft-focus eye-contact across taper candles at the dinner table), but I am so not one of them.

A Mother's Thoughts | 7:03 PM

Haha, so much rambling!! I loved it! My husband didn't even acknowledge it....having a husband is so over-rated!! lol

Anonymous | 4:12 AM

I feel the same way about the artificially induced romance stuff. I much prefer the way my husband does things for me when I am not expecting it. I will say that Val Day is more fun now with a kid. We make a bigger deal of it now than pre-kiddo. Weird, right?

Jessica | 5:32 AM

Totally with you about Valentine's Day. I'm just ambivalent and don't really care.

dusty earth mother | 7:30 PM

I was so sure I wanted nothing and then had a trembly lower lip because there was no bling. I'm pathetic.

But you're not! This is my first time reading you and I cracked up. Thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous | 5:19 PM

I am in love with your ability to tell a story, even about seemingly mundane and uninspiring things. There have been many times when I look to your blog for inspiration of my own. I just wanted to thank you for posting so many actual blogs lately, as opposed to posting those gone style things( Which were interesting at first, but I began to despise them when they showed up more than actual posts). I love to read what you write and I just wanted to say thanks.