Every Time is the First Time (Sponsored)

The following post was sponsored by GRACO and their new SnugRide Click Connect 40, which I wrote about, here and plan to use through the twins second birthday so that I can continue to NOT wake them up when they fall asleep in the car, and instead, carry their carseats quietly into the house via tiptoe. (Thanks, GRACO!)


Eight years ago I was newly pregnant with Archer, flying blind. Being a younger first-time mom, I was pretty much expected to know nothing which made knowing nothing less scary. (When everyone treats you like a fool you’re allowed to feel like one.)
mommyarchermombday with Archer, Christmas '05 Archer & Sculpture
I was just like every other freaked out first time mom, whatayagonnado, eh? None of my friends had kids back then, so I was even MORE relieved. I could do whatever I wanted and nobody was going to say, “you’re doing it wrong” because none of my friends knew how to do it either! Liberating! And yet, somehow, that didn’t stop strangers and extended family and people who sometimes babysat to lend unsolicited advice as to how to feed, diaper, care for and love my child.
Favorite Face Eva Chasing Bubbles (with a smile)
Four years ago, I had just given birth to Fable, my first daughter, once again, flying blind. Being the mother of two children I was expected to know a lot more than I did the first time and I kind of sort of did, and maybe if Archer had the same birth as Fable it would have mattered. Maybe if Fable was the same baby as Archer it would have made a difference. But that wasn’t the case because that is never the case and everything Archer “prepared” me for was useless to me with Fable. Sure, they were both little people, but other than that, every single variable was different.
Nice Boots
And it made me realize that if I couldn’t give myself parenting advice, even as a seasoned professional, nobody could! NOBODY! Liberating!
Drooling Closet Day 17 Untitled Untitled Untitled
This was only made more apparent, last year, when my doctor sliced me open and pulled two perfect (albeit slightly small) babies from my body. Once again? Completely blind. Blind and numb from the neck down and puking from panic attack. (I had no idea that C-section would numb my WHOLE body up to my arms. I completely freaked! FA-REAKED.)
IMG_7817 Untitled
It was my first C-section, my first pair of twins, and everything I had learned from parenting “two children at once” did absolutely zero to prepare for me “parenting two infant children at once” which also made me realize that nobody should be allowed to give anybody unsolicited advice on anything ever. Again, LIBERATING!
My point being – every child is different, and no experience will fully prepare us for the experiences that will follow. No matter how much practice we have, how many births we survive, infants we care for, birthdays we celebrate, when it comes to children and relationships and pretty much everything else in life, we’re all flying blind. We’re all, no matter the what and the who and the how, first-time moms.
IMG_7771 IMG_9913 IMG_1742 IMG_9941 IMG_6646

As one of Graco's Ambassadors I'll be hosting my second takeover on Graco's facebook page next Friday, November 2nd. Join me as we discuss what (if any) advice we'd give our first-time mom selves. And by first-time mom selves, I mean selves. Me? I would like to give myself advice on how to be better at getting up earlier (go to bed earlier!) and also better at remembering important things. (Go to bed earlier!) And with that, I'm logging off and going to bed... earlier. 



ec | 9:46 PM

perfectly written. thank you

and that last picture is definitely my fave.

Tracy | 3:14 AM

Clearly, you've figured out so much by doing which has lent to your sense if confidence and competence a a mom. What I don't understand ( as it seems counter to your nature/personality as revealed in your writing) is your apparent objection to receiving advice. What's your beef with it? We're all novices when it comes to parenting and if there are well meaning folks who offer pearls of wisdom, why not heed what resonates with you and dismiss the rest?