199/100

babe
Over the weekend my kids got a chance to meet month-old River, new edition to planet Earth and daughter to some of the most amazing first-time parents of all time, Kanye West.

Fable met River with me when she was days old, but for Bo and Revi meeting a newborn baby was completely new. Their minds were blown.
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Dani and I went to Mel Trading Post on Sunday where we passed River back and forth and tried on dresses - her for nursing access, me for... non-nursing... access and it reminded me of the time, not so long/a lifetime ago when Dani and I did the same thing with the twins.
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Dani with Bo
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...and Revi

And it all felt so poetic...the cyclical nature of it all, the growing and the changing and the babies becoming non-babies and it suddenly occurred to me that Bo and Revi are the same age Archer was when we decided to go for #2 (I was already well into my third pregnancy when Fable was 2.5) which means... this is the first time I've had a baby babies no longer be babies with no new baby on the way.

And OH, THE PANGS!

They are legit pangs, too. It probably sounds appalling to most of you but I could spend the rest of my life pushing babies into the world and be perfectly stoked. If money and time and resources were no object? I'd be knocked up right now true story.

We're done, though, don't worry, but still. Still.

The twins are about to start preschool and Archer is as tall as my chin. And all of that is very overwhelming. I cried the other day watching Enough Said (which I did not particularly love) thinking of what it will be like when the kids go off to college. I am an insane person clearly.

"You used to be small like this, too," I explained to the twins when they pointed out how "teeny tiny da baby ees."

"You used to be even smaller than this," Archer corrected.
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"Feels like three seconds ago."

"Mom. No it doesn't."

(Yes it does.)
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New life is such a refresher course on why we're here in the first place. Babies are like unicorns that way. They are magical hope machines. I could not take my eyes off of River on Sunday. I could not take my eyes off of Dani and the ease in which she held/nursed/communicated with her newborn daughter.
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And then there were my kids -- their hands wrapped around River's tiny fingers with these looks on their faces... of awe and interest and an understanding that new life is a marvel. That brotherhood and sisterhood exist regardless of family ties.
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Welcome to the world, River June. We are all so thrilled you are here. 

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199. I Follow Rivers: Lykke Li

GGC

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