The Unbearable Likeness of Being

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This week on Mom.me, I wrote about some of the feelings many of us are experiencing with our kids being back to school and how important it is to recognize, as they set off for the unexplored and (somewhat unsupervised) world, that not everyone is going to love them he way we do...

And that's okay.


It’s OK to be disliked. It is a part of the human experience. 

This is hard for us parents to accept because we adore our children and are unable to see outside of our own bias most days. And we’re entirely right to feel this way. Hello. I mean, OUR KIDS ARE AMAZING and everyone should think so, duh. 

But there is a chance that people don’t. And there will be times when they won’t. And it isn’t just their childhood but fortherestoftheirliveshood...


I did so many things i didn't want to do because I was afraid I'd be disliked by those who wanted me to do them. I said "yes" when I should have said "no" because I didn't want to make people angry... or come off as unlikable. It took years before I realized that I was cowering to those I should have stood up to. Why? Because my fear of being disliked had turned me into someone who had given absolutely everything away... 

You want my sandwich? Here.

You want my bracelet? Here. 

You want my body? Okay... 

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There are few things more dangerous than a child, a teenager, and hell, even an adult who will do anything to be "liked" and "accepted" and "understood."
One of the great secrets to happiness in this life is recognizing that there will be people at every turn who think you suck. There will be birthday parties you don't get invited to and teachers who don't understand your brilliance and friends who misunderstand you and on and on ...

After all, it is far better to have lived and been, at times, unloved than to have never lived at all. It is far better to have said "no" and lost a friend than to have said "yes" and lost yourself. 
***


You can read the whole column, here. Hit it, Taylor... 


GGC

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