Posted by GIRL'S GONE CHILD | Wednesday, February 15, 2006
I have been noticing that as Archer grows up I seem to be growing down. I am genuinely interested in building castles out of letter blocks and playing with Pound Puppies. (My favorite toy as a child.) I find myself exploring basic crap as wide-eyed and curious as my son.
"Archer!" I say, "Don't pull Cooper's tail." Then I pull Cooper's tail to see what happens. I am turning kind of retarded. No offense because I know some very nice retarded people. I do.
So today I was playing with Archer and we were pressing the buttons on the Sesame Street thingy so that Oscar the Grouch would pop up out of his can and sing "I love trash." After interrupting Ernie's fully-clothed bathtub-romp several dozen times "rubber ducky, you're the oooooone" I suddenly wondered if Elmo "This is the song. LALALALA. ELMO song!" had room in his pop-out window for Archer's nunu.*
"Archer. Can I please take this nunu? Thanks bud."
I snatched Archer's nu out of his mouth and folded it gingerly in Elmo's compartment and closed the door shut. I had decided that it would be fantastic to press the button and see Elmo fly out of his window with Archer's nunu. I was ecstatic with excitement. I also thought my brilliant idea would perhaps cause Archer to become more interested in the toy, so I could take a break and get some work done. I was shocked to find that my brilliant idea wasn't brilliant at all. In fact, it was stupid. The door was jammed. ELmo had hijacked Archer's favorite NuNu and it was all my fault. What a dumbass.
Frantic I began smashing the toy with my good hand, pressing the button, wedging a nail file in the door as to force the door open, ANYTHING TO MAKE THIS RIGHT while Archer looked on and babbled at the wall.
Suddenly my hubz appeared to see why the hell I was cursing in espanol**. "Um. Archer locked his pacifier in Elmo's cave thingy."
"Yeah. Our son is such a curious little person. Psh."
But we all knew the truth. (I am a very bad liar.)
For the record, I succeeded in unjamming Elmo's window and rescuing Archer's nunu. Because although there is a large part of me that never grew out of childish mischief-making, there is also a part of me that wants to make everything right...
...All by myself like a big girl.
** cursing in espanol is a great way to get away with saying your favorite words including fuck & shit. Seriously. Try it. GGC Recommends...