Posted by GIRL'S GONE CHILD | Tuesday, February 28, 2006
"I think he pooped."
"Someone has a poooopy diaper!"
"Loooooks like a poooop!"
Something happens when a girl becomes a mom...
I should have known when I was pregnant, a super-smeller with serious disdain for anything pungent. I get it now. The whole preggo-smell-thing was so I might give my nose its calm before the smell-storm. Being hyper-sensitive to stink is the nose's way to free itself from tyranny before succumbing to a life of less-than-aroma-therapeutic scents. Kinda like sleeping 18 hours straight when pregnant, the winter hibernation before the endless, restless summer.
When I was pregnant, the fumes in a car garage caused me to hyperventilate and I stayed indoors on garbage day as not to be bombarded by the orange stench of rotting waste on the streets. Everything stank including dust, which was my biggest adversary for months before baby popped on the scene.
The other day I found myself lifting Archer off my lap into the air and smelling his butt. "Smells like a pooooooper, mr. poopinbaum!" No big deal except we were at a rather cutesy breakfast spot in trend-o-rama neighborhood surrounded by people who do not sniff baby's butts nor seem amused by the people who do. (sorry, dudes.)
I stopped myself, adjusted my sunglasses and quietly sassed everyone from behind my cafe latte. Because the only way to get away with smelling baby butt at breakfast is to back it up with some Angeleno attitude and I have been here long enough to know how to work it.
"Poopy diaper with your eggs?"
I have to admit, I used to think people like me were disgusting. Diaper changing in public? Pulease. But the me of today would like to formally flip the me of yesterday the finger. I'm proud of my public displays of poopfection. Maybe proud is the wrong word. More like oblivious that I might be grosssing out local versions of my former self.
And now I ask you, readers: do you smell your baby's butt in public? And if you haven't a baby, do you find me tacky? Go on, use your words. Smell it and tell it, people.