Hi Honey, I'm Huge!


I'm just about halfway through my pregnancy, coming in at 20 weeks and am wondering how the hell I'm going to double in size at this rate because I do not look four and a half months pregnant. Four and a half months is "barely showing" territory. Uh... not. So. Much. 

Today some homeless guy stopped me as I was coming out of the gym. 

"You look like you're pregnant!" he said. 

"No, actually. I'm not."

"Yes you are! You're lying!" 

"Okay. You got me. I lied. "

And THEN dude proceeded to follow me to my car. 

"What are you having!?" he shouted. 

"I don't know, dude." I walked faster.

"Whaaaaat Arrrrrre youuuuu haaaaaaviiiiiingggg..."

"I dooooooon't knooooooowwwwwwwwakajhsdkajdkajds!"

I almost forgot how weird people get around pregnant women. I mean, this guy was already kind of nuts but still. 

After that I came home and spent well over an hour trying to figure out what the hell to wear today because it's hard to be creative with one's wardrobe in 100+ degree heat when you're carrying around an enormous hump on your torso. 

I'm in my fourth costume change of the day, I kid you not, which is crazy because I did nothing today but the usual gym/work-at-coffee-shop-until-2:oo/pick Archer up and take him to get a smoothie/go home and sweat fucking bullets until bedtime. Although, I gotta say, when you're typing away next to the guy who wrote this, you kind of want to look presentable. Or maybe that's just me. Or maybe that's just me living in Los Angeles for ten years. A part of me expects myself to look writerly when I'm writing (Perhaps this is why I've always had a crush on cigarettes. And old man hats. And vests. And eye-patches) so then I become this obsessed with what I'm going to wear person who always ends up looking like some version of the same as everyone else. Except unlike everyone else I put all this unnecessary effort into it, which is such a waste of time for something that doesn't matter even at all. ESPECIALLY for a writer who no one ever sees anyway.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I get distracted when I'm hot. I ramble. And fall asleep on the hardwood floor like a dog. But seriously? How does one honestly dress as a pregnant person in the summer? I'm kind of thinking of starting a flickr set of (your) inspiring summer-pregnant looks because I give up. Wife beaters and beach-skirts are just not cutting it. And can we please talk about flats being highly unflattering to swelling ankles? (See above photo.)

Is it October yet?

I'm like a Sophomore with Senioritis

GGC

Congratulations to the winners of the BFF contest I posted last week. The two runner-ups who will be receiving GGC BFF mix CDs are: Amy and Angel!!! And the winner of a signed copy of Alexa Young's Frenemies is.... She Likes Purple! Congratulations you guys and thanks so much for participating! (Everyone's stories were AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing. If you're Amy, Angel or She Likes Purple, please email me so I can get your prizes out to you asap!) Thanks, everyone! 

42 comments:

Anonymous | 9:53 PM

Doesn't matter how much you work out, second time around those muscles just give way. Cute maternity sun dresses, only way to go for summer.

foodiemama | 10:12 PM

first, you look great! and arghh..i hate being pregnant in the summer. i wore dresses and waded like a walrus in my bathing suit for the most part.

NOELLE ALOUD | 11:48 PM

I wore cotton skirts with wide waistbands and the thinnest t-shirts I could find. I'm pretty sure everything was see-through in the sunlight, but I was too hot to care.

And don't get me started on shoes. I think I had one pair of black flats that I wore my entire pregnancy. I never want to see them again, except that they're really easy to walk in.

This Must be the Place . . . | 12:26 AM

Dressing your McPrego body in the summer's a real bitch. I did it last year, and it was 110 a few times. I relied on stuff from Old Navy -- thin cotton knit pull on skirts and tank tops . . . and flip flops. I'm not sure I wore a pair of real shoes the entire time. And wrap dresses -- lots of them. They're easy to dress up or down, and you generally looked pulled together. I just bought 'em in larger sizes rather than maternity (over-priced market that it is).

You look absolutely gorgeous. Who cares if you're only four months? I had a belly that looked like an M, with this weird indentation in the middle, the whole time. Even my husband said I looked stupid (which is always fucking awesome when you already feel like gnocci).

Anonymous | 3:06 AM

OMG! You my dear are HUGE! There isnoway you are 5 months preggo. NOWAY! You look ready to pop that sucker out! WOW! You are definatly having a girl! I hopethat you can lose the weight this time around, seems its going to be 100+ good luck my dear!

Mrs. Schmitty | 5:13 AM

You look great...but are you sure there is only one baby in there?

Unknown | 5:20 AM

Wow, I feel your pain. I went through my pregnancy and was way huge and crabby. One day I tried to leave the house in a sun dress my friend had bought me, but my mother insisted I looked like a misplaced trailer park resident. In retrospect, it was true, but I was hot and 7 months pregnant. She really took a risk telling me that.

Summer | 6:16 AM

Wow look at that belly! :)

Ugh, my second was born in the summer and I hated those hot days when I was huge and swollen. Lots of light cotton tank tops and light flowing skirts kept me going.

Fraulein | 6:45 AM

How scary is it that it's 100 degrees out there in May? I'm headed your way soon and hoping like hell that it cools off (and I'm not even pregnant). If I were you I would just go with the thinnest cotton skirts and T's that I could find and then decide not to give a crap what anybody else thinks! You look awesome!

Anonymous | 7:23 AM

You look great! I wore a lot of flowing maxi-dresses and strappy sundresses. It made me feel somewhat graceful. But then I ruined it with Teva flip-flops because that's all I could stand having on my feet. Good luck!!

Anonymous | 7:31 AM

There is a Motherhood Maternity store where I live and I got TONS of stuff from them that I loved and can still even wear sometimes. Check it out: www.motherhood.com (click on link for dresses). If nothing else, you can get some cute ideas. Also, don't stress over showing faster with your second. It's completely normal and it's because your body knows what to do from having a baby once before. Be GLAD you're showing! Get out there & show that wondrous belly & baby to the world and be proud! The weirdos will always be there. The amazing journey you're taking with your new baby and your newly formed bump will not!

pamela | 7:43 AM

if you have any long "peasent" skirts with stretchy tops you can hike those up and wear them as a strapless dress. if you put a belt above or below your bump it can look really cute. or go the whole gwen stefani/angelina jolie route and just go totally boho-screw-even-worrying-about-your-ankles and just wear maxi dresses that you can hike up when no one is looking and cool off. by the way you look great! and you're really only big in the belly! so don't sweat it too much... and as someone else said...maybe you're having twins?

Sarah | 7:50 AM

yeah...everybody puts as much effort and thought into looking like they don't care what they look like.. I promise.

Rachael | 8:51 AM

Wow, I can't believe how much baby has grown since you were in Seattle! I was lucky to get pregnant in August so I don't have much advice to offer on summer pregnancy... You look great, I hope you find some comfortable new styles!

kittenpie | 9:18 AM

I'm totally the same - at 23 weeks here, I am looking like 7 months, and wondering if I will be able to remain upright by the end.

me, I got some short flippy little skirts (some cute jersey ones from H&M that aren't even maternity wear but so stretchy I'm sure they will do it, despite my massive girth) and a bunch of maternity Ts and a few cute sleeveless tunic-y things, plus a few faux-wrap maternity dresses that look nice for when I need to. For the sandbox, I picked up a couple of maternity shorts and capris, too, though I'm not so into them.

Anonymous | 9:32 AM

I know our tastes are probably very different, but I was pregnant last summer and I wore solid color maternity tanks from Motherhood Maternity. I also got some of those peasant top style shirts to wear over them. I don't know about LA but I live in Albuquerque and everyone still wears them here, so I didn't even need to go into a maternity store to find them. I wore some of my husband's T Shirts, he's really tall (over 6') so they fit me for a while. But then I wore his shirts before and after pregnancy, too. I had one pair of maternity overalls that I hated, they were capri style and when my legs got bigger they started riding up my calves. I also had some stretchy shirts that weren't maternity, including a very stretchy tank I got at a VNV Nation show. Also I had a long elastic waist skirt that I had forever. As for shoes, if I wasn't going anywhere I would stay barefoot or slip on some flip flops. Other than that I would wear my heelies or a pair of leather combat boots. I stopped wearing the heelies about halfway through my pregnancy because I was afraid of falling in them. Oh, and I also had a pair of Dansko clogs, but I kept falling out of them so I had to stop wearing those after a bit, too. They were practically flats so I thought they would be ok, but nope! Well, I guess I sound like a complete dork now, so I'm going to get out of here :)

motherbumper | 10:07 AM

I was pregnant with Bumper during one of the hottest summers on record (she was born in October). Nothing trumps boob AND belly sweat - ick. I think I mapped out every single AC pathway to get around downtown Toronto - even it added time to my waddle, I mean commute. Anyhow, I feel for you and all I can say is: men's undershirts, stretch skirts, and cranked AC offer some sweet relief. BTW - I think you look fantastic.

Anonymous | 10:24 AM

Ohh....but you're so CUTE! I'm sure some of your previously preggo-the-second-time-around-friends have told you this, but, you show sooner with the second bebe. Things "down south" aren't as taut as with bebe #1. And I do feel for you.....I heard on the news this mrning that LA was setting heat records...already! In May!

Time to break out the kiddie pool! Fun for you AND Archer.

ChefSara | 10:30 AM

i need this advice too! fortunately, only 10 weeks left, but all in the heat and humidity of an Atlanta summer!! So far, I'm pretty much having to borrow my husband's t-shirts.

Maremone | 10:43 AM

I hear ya! It hit 104 yesterday and I'm already complaining. I'm due in Oct. too. It sucks though because I look like I'm carrying my kid in the fat under my arms so tank tops are really apalling.

I think I'm going to invest in sundresses and air my nethers :)

You look beautiful btw. Your body is so tiny and then you have that adorable belly. You are the envy of other pregnant women!

Anonymous | 12:10 PM

In college I took a photo of a friend inspired by that same photo of Colette. Menswear is hot. It just is.
P.S. You look lovely.

Sonja Streuber, PMP(R), SSBB | 12:49 PM

Adding my nod here ... you look great; like Angelina, you've got the whole "slim with belly" thing going on for which I am totally envying you (to me, it looks like, instead of my front, my ass has actually expanded, at 10.5 weeks!).

I just bought a few peasant-style shirts at Ross, you know, the ones with the empire waist that are stylish now. As for shoes, during work I still wear my heels, but as soon as I get back "home", it's Birkenstocks (lite) all the way.

Anonymous | 3:25 PM

I'm finding that skirts aren't really working for me this summer: instead of letting in a cool breeze, the lack of material between my thighs just means Sweat City.

I try to mostly look presentable at work (and haven't told anyone there I'm pregnant yet anyway), but as soon as I get home I throw on the tiny tank tops and drawstring short-shorts. I look like trailer trash, but at least I'm not melted.

Anonymous | 3:45 PM

Ok so you're pretty big... :) but it's CUTE big. You definitely have the skinny with basketball thing going on, no joke. About clothes, I have no suggestions from experience, but I second the suggestion to just rock it Angelina-style and let your bump hang out with pride. Or maybe find some strapless long cotton dresses? And flip-flops? You could also consider cutting your hair short (gasp) though I'm not sure how you'd feel about that one... but I think you'd look really cute with an angled chin-length cut or similar. (this is more for the heat than for bump concealment, obviously.)

Anonymous | 4:45 PM

You look fabulous!

Heat is a bitch when you're PG, I am feeling for you girl. And I am not sure if the flowy, open sun dresses can make up for it either (altho air up in and around there sure does help, ack).

Anyway, time to work on that picket sign. You know the one PG ladies MUST carry around with all your stats and automated replies: 20 weeks, 2nd child, no I don't know what I am having, no I don't care how I am carrying, no you can't touch me, no I am not REALLY REALLY big and fat - just preggo, leave me alone or I may hormonally rage on you, have a nice day. It works... I'M TELLING YOU.

CheekySweetie | 5:00 PM

Wow, how cool, I'm a weiner! I mean winner, ha! Thanks!!

I wanted to make sure you knew about the BellaBand: http://www.ingridandisabel.com/index.html It's freaking AWESOME! I still use mine to cover my wide hips when I am wearing a cute short type top, and it just looks like I am layering-but it's WAY cooler than real layers. Also, Old Navy has cute maternity stuff!

Anonymous | 5:39 PM

Yes, it is hot, but you LOOK HOT! Seriously, you look great. The baby belly is in! xo

Anonymous | 6:39 PM

You are ALL belly! ALL. BELLY.

You truly look amazing.

I spent three summers pregnant, two of which I was HUGE.

I lived in tanks and skirts. And a bathing suit while I sat in the lake.

:)

Anonymous | 6:48 PM

I think you look beautiful.

I was all about loose fitting dresses when I was knocked up last summer. I am super cranky when it's hot without pregnancy - so, while pregnant, I was a mean, sweaty bitch. The baggy light cotton dresses let some air in between me and the clothes. I also regularly dunked my feet in a bowl of cold water. That, a raspberry popsicle, and the couch, and I was in heaven.

Anonymous | 11:29 PM

Rebecca,
I am new to your blog and I wanted to first say you look absolutely fantastic. Honest! You do! And, second...the grass is always greener.

I don't know if you're a native to LA, but me...I am. Born and bred. I moved to the East Coast for college swearing I'd never ever move back to LA and after the 94 earthquake, the fear of being orphaned had me back within a month. 14 years later, I'm nearing the end of my 2nd year living in Ireland with my husband on a work contract and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. I hope and pray I make it to 20 weeks after two miscarriages, but ultimately I miss LA and I thought I might list some of the things that I miss as a hope to remind you of all the wonders LA has to offer.

1. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Gelsons, Ralphs, Rite Aid, Sav-On and any other food/convenience store that has those staples that I love and cannot get outside of the US and/or LA.
2.Sushi, Mexican food, California Chicken cafe, any other of my "old favourite" restaurants, and any and all "to go" places so I don't have to cook every night of my existence.
3.Rollerblading at the beach, hiking in the Santa Monica mountains, Venice, Main Street, 3rd Street, Santa Monica, Abbott Kinney, the Marina, the heat, wearing only a tank top without carrying a sweater, a raincoat and an umbrella, and driving my car with the sunroof open blasting music.
4.Exchanges with checkout people that entail eye contact and smiling, and just the general overall laid back feeling that only LA has to offer. I smile and tell people to have a nice day over here just out of habit, and it throws them every time.
5. Western Medical care. I know that I am at least West of China, but here at 11 weeks I still haven't had an appt. with an OB even after 2 miscarriages. I don't meet him till I'm 16 weeks, and if I hadn't insisted I wouldn't have had an ultrasound till 20 weeks. The hospital was built in the 1800's and hasn't been refurbished since at least 1952, and they don't do any screening/testing here. I mean what are you gonna do abort? Secondly, every 3rd woman is pregnant here, so that glory and newness of someone commenting on your pregnancy and asking questions, well...it just doesn't happen so much.

When I returned to LA after college, I realized that I "chose" to allow the negatives of LA to seep into my existence, so I could then "choose" to take in what I love about LA and the rest could just fade. I've worked in the industry, and I have to admit that on my last visit we stayed with my Mom in Studio City and I could spread the pretention like Philly Cream Cheese, but how I let it affect me is my choice. I know it sounds overly simplified, but for 12 years it worked for me and I learned to love LA for what it had to offer. I learned to look at those affected people and recognize them for what they are putting out there, an insecure sense of themselves and a need to feel superior. It's over here in Ireland too, pretention is universal, it doesn't only exist in LA, but again, it's how you choose to take it in.

So, in the end, I thank you for your openess about your struggles, your stories about your experiences and the small doses that you provide me of the home that I miss so dearly.

All my best to you.
Stacie

Anonymous | 6:45 AM

Ha! At least you look pregnant, i'm 4 1/2 months and I am still in that "is she fat or pregnant" phase. You look awesome! Oh and swollen ankles, I am right there with you. I have also just retired my wedding rings, guess i'll have to hit up Clair's and get a cheapie ring, ha ha!

ufos8mycat | 9:18 AM

Only in LA will a homeless person walk you to your car and ask what gender the baby is. Isn't crack good?

Stephanie Wilson she/her @babysteph | 7:58 PM

I just fell in love with Michael Stars Maternitees. They have tees and tanks and will probably be all I live in during the summer- with a cute skirt or whatever's clean or kinda clean.

Steph

mo-wo | 10:16 PM

You know, as an aside, my mother told me as soon as you have only one thing left in the closet you can wear THEN you have the baby.

It has proven true for me.

And her babies. September and October.

I guess that's why she made me those super cute drawstring maternity sun-dresses.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 11:03 AM

You guys are awesome. Thankfully it cooled down (lower 80s) so I can go back to normalcy. I think sundressess are going to get me through summer for sure. And most likely a wading pool in the living room.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 11:03 AM

You guys are awesome. Thankfully it cooled down (lower 80s) so I can go back to normalcy. I think sundressess are going to get me through summer for sure. And most likely a wading pool in the living room.

Anonymous | 1:10 PM

Oh my goodness! Look how beautiful you are!

Robin | 3:28 PM

I don't know what happened between my pregnancy era and yours, but somehow pregnancy is cute now! Sigh. How'd you do that???

Congrats and good luck with number two!!

Julie Marsh | 10:00 PM

What Steph said about Michael Stars. I've got a few hand-me-downs from Liz, and they are awesome. Even now that the baby's out.

I've also got a shirt from Boob Maternity that I loved. If you want it, I'll send it!

Anonymous | 10:58 AM

I'm at 28 weeks with my 2nd and have been plagued by comments the whole pregnancy about how big my belly is. I totally popped sooner but seem to be hitting the point where it's all leveling out now. I'm only 5'1" and it doesn't help either. Bellies may grow but they will also go away.

Anonymous | 12:41 PM

I.Am.So.Sorry!

I was lucky enough to have April babies both times. I'll bet that's miserable! I say wear whatever the heck you want to wear! Just go for comfortable - if that's possible..

Debbie | 11:01 PM

you're smashing. and adorable.

i want to lick you, almost. (well, except, not really, because of the sweaty, but *only* because of that. otherwise, totally licking you.)

(and humping the bones of F. Scott. in my mind's eye.)