August. September. October.

Just back from a lovely two days at Crystal Cove with Archer and my parents:


It was a beautiful end to our five-week mother-son-before-the-baby-comes time together and even though we had our kooky days, I wouldn't trade our time for anything, because, rain or shine, it was all about us. In sickness and in health. And I needed that.

I needed to hold Archer's hand in the pony-ride ticket line and ride the Griffith Park train fifteen times in a row, listening over and over as Archer pointed out power lines.

"Look, Mommy! Anoder power line so cool!"

I needed to sweat under the blazing sun at Disneyland, to regret taking him on Pirates of the Caribbean because it was too scary. (I should have known better. Now I do.) I needed to watch him introduce himself to boys and girls at friend's birthday parties.


"Hi. My name is Archer. Come on, o'er here! Play with me."

I needed to chase him screaming down the beaches of Santa Monica, half-crying, clutching my belly, sprinting as fast as I could until I found him hiding behind the farthest lifeguard tower. And then I needed to lecture him on why we don't run away from pregnant mommies with shitloads of stuff in their hands. I needed him to cry just like I needed to kiss him on the face and tell him "it's okay. I love you. Let's be friends again. Follow me..."


I needed to tell him I loved him a hundred thousand times and listen to him make up his very own lullabies for the baby.

"The one in mommy's tummy I sing song?"

I needed to hear him say that he has a baby in his tummy, too.

"Di you know that, Mommy? I have baby, too."


I needed to draw Saturn for him and read The Space book a thousand times and remind him to wash his hands. I needed to applaud him for building "the biggest tower ever that I've ever seen!" out of LEGOS. I needed to watch him learn to climb the wall at the park.

I needed to spoon him under the window of a cottage on a great hill overlooking the sea, his little hands pulling my arm over his waist, playing with my fingers.

view from our bed at Crystal Cove

All of this because I needed to watch him grow-up. Become my big boy. A big brother. I needed to watch him every second to make sure I didn't miss something. I needed to memorize the way he walked, played, fell asleep. The way his hands felt in mine, his sandy feet against my knees.

So that when he's old enough to understand, I'll be able to tell him about the month before his sister came and how we spent it just the two of us... And how special and beautiful it was... most of the time. How special and beautiful it always is... most of the time.


I feel ready, now. For him to go back to school, go back to his friends, five days a week, six hours a day...

I'm ready to get back to work while I still can. I've been unable to get much writing done this last month and am eager to get back to the coffee shop and my current projects, at least for these last few weeks of freedom until the baby makes her appearance and totally screws up my schedule makes it difficult to do much of anything besides being a mom.

August was about Archer so that September can be about me so that October can be about her...

thirty-five weeks

October. I can't believe how soon it's going to be October.

GGC


32 comments:

Mommato2 | 7:03 PM

How lovely to have this special Mommy son time before the baby comes.

Brandi | 7:27 PM

Oh how special the last moments of my last pregnancy was with my 2 year old daughter. We did all sorts of special things like you did with Archer. I loved how she would point at my tummy and say 'Baby?...you got baby in yo tummy mommy?'
We took a trip to the New Orleans Zoo the month before I was due. (Thankfully it wasn't too hot!) I know she'll never remember these moments but I will tell her all about it one day!

Samtastic | 8:44 PM

you look great. =) i hope that my son & i have the same kind of bond you & archer have!

Katadia | 9:33 PM

Oh, I got all teary reading this post. I started disciplining my 2 yr old son after his sister arrived in April. I always feel bad after I made him stay in his corner. Sometimes I just feel like I'm going to explode. My son tells me "I'm sad when you punish mama...". And that just breaks me to pieces. He also thinks that when I said I was about to explode, his mummy would pop like a real balloon. :(

Yes, spend a lot of time with him before she arrives. Two are lovely. But both of them together in the first few months could drive you up the wall sometimes. Cheers.

flemgobber | 10:16 PM

This is one of my favourite posts ever on your site. So great.

Cheers to you.

Amber | 10:35 PM

Beautiful. Thank you.

your escalator operator | 11:07 PM

Been reading your blog for a few months, but this is the first time I'm 'using my words.' Love it all, and especially this post. If I'm ever a dad, I'll come back to this one.
Good luck and good health to you the rest of the way.

Stacy | 11:14 PM

Oh my.

My son hit the 18 month mark Tuesday and we're officially trying for #2. Reading your post made me so excited, and yet so scared at the same time.

I know I'll love another baby just as much as I love him, and in new and different ways. But at the same time, I can't imagine another little person entering our partners-in-crime situation. How will I be able to love another person like I love this boy. Sometimes my heart hurts just trying to contain everything that I feel for him, ya know?

I think you sound like an amazing mother, and I think this month with Archer proves that.

Daddy Dan | 11:31 PM

How wonderful that you got to spend 5 whole weeks with Archer. What memories you must have made!

I would love to be able to do something like that with my son.

He got scared on Pirates of the Caribbean too, but only during the two drops in the dark. I told him "That's it, no more drops" and he kept asking me for assurance. "All done, no more drops, Daddy?"

I love your writing. When's the next book?

Heza Hekele | 3:11 AM

October!

We are almost ready for halloween around here...had to break it to the kiddos that it's actually a long ways away. October is the month that my niece turns three and the next niece arrives. To say that we are eagerly awaiting that month would be an understatement.

In short (less the actually being preggy thing)...I know a bit how you feel. September feels like such a preparation month...October is where the party is!

Bokker | 4:29 AM

That little man is just so cool.
That's all.

Wicked Step Mom | 4:39 AM

That is one hell of a way to get ready for the new baby. I hope that you get enough time during September!

b-m-c-loves-y--o-u | 7:00 AM

love you, ya big rotund sap

She Likes Purple | 8:26 AM

I just read this lyric on another blog, and I think it's perfect for your August (and your October):

"Unlimited. Together we're unlimited. Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been."

You're such a good mom.

Dianna | 9:00 AM

You two had so much fun! Besides the belly-clutching run of course...but still. He is so lucky to have you as a mom! Hope you get everything you want to do in September accomplished! By the way, you look great!

Norm | 9:46 AM

Jaysus Mary and Joseph, young lady, you write well. Am envious. Also need to drop everything and go hug my kids a lot now.

Also I need to invent a time machine and dart ahead to read your equally moving and eloquent post on your baby going off to college because I'm facing that next week and ... I'm not ready.

Again, wonderful post.

Maternal Mirth | 11:51 AM

This really did seem to go by fast! Good to know you got plenty of Archer time ... :-)

Petra | 12:16 PM

Beautiful post! Your children are lucky to have a mom that puts so much into being a mother and makes these times special that so many let pass us by!

Carmen | 12:31 PM

Oh my gosh, besides the beautiful story you told about the *August of Archer*, so to speak,
I must say you look great! After you shared concerns over weight gain this pregnancy, I couldn't help but comment on how healthy and perfectly pregnant you look!
Good for you!

EG | 12:57 PM

Love it!

felicia | 1:28 PM

Love your this post alot:) You're looking great in the photo:) At the moment, take care of your health:)

Wendy | 1:42 PM

You have absolutely no idea how much I needed to read this, at this exact moment in my life. Thank you.

It's so good and special that you even thought to spend some time with Archer before the baby comes. I'm sure he appreciated it as much as you did.

Is it really only 5 weeks to go? Wow!

Keri | 5:53 PM

You and me both! It felt like yesterday that I had THREE more months to go and now all of sudden, it's going to be OCTOBER soon! Looking forward to it, though! =D

Michele | 6:16 PM

I have 4 children -- 11, 8 and 4-year-old twins. I remember trying to capture that sacred one-on-one time before the baby(s) came. When I was pregnant with my second I always wondered -- how in the world can I love another child as much? How will I divide my love? I've learned that a mother's love isn't divided when another child comes along -- it's multiplied. Enjoy being a mother of two!

MuddyPawz | 6:22 PM

Bec you absolutely get what it is to be a parent. There is so much crappy parenting out there and it's soooo refreshing to read your updates. You get what is truly important in life!

Rachael | 10:40 PM

You are just amazing! I love your take on being a mother, i t's just perfect. I'm so glad you enjoyed your time with Archer.

Heather | 11:46 AM

You look FANTASTIC!!

Heather, mother of Jack and Collette

jjlibra | 5:33 PM

wow it will be october very soon. we have all been going through this pregnancy with you and it seems like just yesterday you told us you were pregnant and then you teased us by telling us you have a name picked out but wouldn't share. now the time is almost here for you and for us to meet this soon to be fabulously dressed little girl. i can't wait :)

DoulaMomma | 3:38 PM

Hi,
Love your blog & will check out your book. Not related to this post (though I'm now wanting to go to Crystal Cove), but just wanted to let you know I linked to your blog in mine:
http://doulamomma.blogspot.com/2008/09/unkindest-cut.html

Rhea | 10:19 PM

What a lovely way to think of the time you have left. August, September, October.

I like it.

Kendra | 1:06 PM

What a beautiful post! Archer is a lucky boy.

pamela | 6:04 PM

it seems like just yesterday you were writing about how it seemed like you had been pregnant forever! and look, now your due date is right around the corner.

it's so cool you got to hang with archer for that time and looks like you were in some incredible places!

you look so great for 35 weeks, all belly!