closing in on 36 weeks
I'm not sleeping very well these days for obvious reasons. My gigantic enormosity, being the main one.
(These days, I look at men with huge beer guts with real curiosity as to how they sleep at night because a beer-gut is very similar-looking to a third-trimester pregnant belly, except it's not as temporary, which leads me to wonder how these dudes function 365 days out of the year? How do they shave their downundas? Tie their shoes? Bend over to pick up fallen kites? How do they sleep!? I mean, seriously? Look at this guy?)
I sleep with six pillows to Hal's one an am still unable to find a comfortable position. It's hard to sleep with a five and a half pound moving creature in your belly, not to mention the unpleasant truth that the eight-month-pregnant body was not designed with sleep in mind.
Between the peeing every thirty-two minutes, (averaging about six pee wake-ups a night) the heartburn, (averaging about 10 Tums daily) the dehydration that probably comes from peeing so much (every time I get up to pee I have to down an entire glass of water) and the random baby kicks to the spleen, (or whatever organ it is her foot is kicking) sleep is not for the pregnant.
Which brings me to my theory (besides the obvious reasons listed above) as to why pregnant women are up all night long til' the breaka-breaka dawn:
Our bodies are in prep-mode. The end of pregnancy is hardcore training for the marathon of sleepless nights ahead. Isn't it so nice of our bodies to look out for us like that? Taking all chance of sleep away so when our babies are born we can totally be like, "Sleep? What do you mean, sleep? I don't sleep. Who sleeps? What is sleep?"
The only difference between waking up to pee and waking up to feed, rock, calm a wailing baby is that instead of chugging three glasses of water at 4am (some of us*) can chug three cups of caffeine! Ole!
Not to mention that unlike our beer-gut brothers in the unable-to-tie-our-own-shoes 'hood, we also get to wear concealer under our eyes on mornings after sleepless nights, which, yeah... God bless concealer.
bedding (in the background) by Anthropologie.
*this is one one of the few perks of being a formula feeder.