fourteen three hours of trying-to-knock her out with bottles, boobs, dance routines and a song about a gigolo that only works when Hal sings it, Fable finally fell asleep. And now I'm so exhausted I'm going to bed.
As it turns out, Fable isn't entirely perfect. Her flaw? An inability to nap followed by increasing bouts of insomnia. The girl is literally awake ALL DAY. As in, fourteen hours straight.
Mama needs coffee. And a nanny. Preferably one who lactates because the whole human pacifier thing? Kind of over it, gotta say.
And that's not even getting STARTED on the recent teething situation which is frustrating AND heartbreaking. A lethal combination.
Screw the coffee. Mama needs Stoli.