This post is brought to you bywhich is sort of the light at the end of our potty-training tunnel. Thanks, Quilted Northern. You are as soft as you are strong.
The following is a letter I wrote myself seeking advice from myself. You see, for some reason, and I know I'm not alone in this, second children do not remind all mothers of their first-children experiences. So now, in the dawn of our potty-training-Fable days, I have found myself totally confused, forgetful and annoyed that I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I mean... I've done this before. Three years ago, but still. Three years ago! That's like.... THREE YEARS AGO! I have underwear like WAY older than that. In fact, all of my underwear are way older than that. Womp, womp.
Anyway. Here's a letter my present self (Fable's mom) wrote to my former self (Archer's mom) in hopes that by asking for my own advice, I might motivate my dead brain to come alive with answers.
Dear Archer's Mom,Hey. It's me, you. I'm writing you today because I know you've "been here before" and by "here" I mean, standing in the hallway of my house in a puddle of toddler pee. It's not as warm a place as you would think, Archer's Mom, and even though I pride myself on being pretty patient with my kids, especially when it comes to milestones, I can't help but wonder if I'm doing something terribly wrong.Recently it has become increasingly common for Fable's baby pals to step out for a park playdate clad in brand-spanking-new BIG KID underwear. The (organic) cotton kind complete with elastic waistband that aren't made out of ... diapers. And then I'm like, "Oh, yeah! We're TOTALLY making all sorts of potty-training strides, you know us" except I'm totally lying because the only stride we've made has to do with Fable not pooping in the bathtub anymore.Here's the thing, Archer's mom. I know people who swear by the "hold your kid above the toilet until he poops" philosophy but that totally weirds me out (I mean... we didn't do that with Archer, did we? I'm pretty sure we absolutely did not). I also know people who have done the "just put them in underwear until they figure it out" thing but that, in my opinion, is even worse. I mean... isn't it? I vaguely recall poopy pants in public being one of my absolute low points as a mother... am I right? And then there's the "naked potty training" option where you let your kid poop and pee all over the house until they (supposedly) figure it out. So, last week, I figured, "Hey! Why not?" and let Fable spend the day stoked off her nakedness. I put the baby potty in the middle of the bathroom and onward with our day we went. Until she peed all over the kitchen floor. And her toys. And the futon in the play room. And the hallway. And my office. And a pile of books. (Goodbye, books!) And then there was the poop behind the couch which I didn't find until.... uh... later. The last straw was when Fable peed on the tile in the hallway and slipped, falling with a giant kaboom on her head. On the tile! Head. Tile. Hard. Pee everywhere. Crying. Tile. Head. "NEVER AGAIN!" said I and swore off "naked potty training" forever.Back to square one, Archer's mom. The baby potty is still in the bathroom but Fable has yet to use it. Sure we sit on it every night before bath. I bring her into the bathroom with me so she can faux/mimic my potty-doing. (Sorry, TMI) but so far, no such luck in the potty department. In fact, Fable's response any time I point out the potty or any toiletesque paraphernalia = "Pee, NO! mama!" Pee, no, mama. Pee, no....I know Archer didn't potty train until he was almost three (for pee. Poop didn't happen until 3.5) and Fable's only twenty-six months but with preschool around the corner, I was hoping we'd have made at least some kind of progress in the potty-training department, or at the very least, sparked some interest?Ha ha ha! Archer's mom! Not even close!So, here's where you come in. What kind of tips can you offer me to get the ball rolling in this department? And I know what you're thinking. "Just go back in the archives of your blog, duh!" but that's WAY too much work. I'd rather spend the time writing you this letter in hopes you'll write me back. Friday, specifically. A response by 3:00pm PST would be preferable.Thank you in advance,Fable's MomAKA "Pee, No! in WeHo"
And now? I wait for my reply.
Doo-too-doo, doo, doo.... La, la. Wait by the Internet, la.
In the meantime, perhaps you have some potty training advice of your own? If not, you're welcome to leave a comment anyway. All commenters will be eligible to win a year's supply of toilet paper as well as a $50 visa check card! Winner will be chosen via random.org, announced next Monday, December 6th. Potty on, Wayne!
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