Liner Notes 4/30

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The babies are crawling. They're crawling! Well, Revi is crawling (army) and Bo sits on all fours and then army crawls except Revi is a thousand times faster than Bo AKA she always gets to the good toys first and then Bo cries and then we have to have a conversation about sharing and then eventually Revi drops the little ball with the face on it and Bo gets so excited she bangs herself in the face and then she cries and then Revi cries and this is pretty much our life.
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For all the craziness that is having suddenly-mobile twins, there's nothing better than watching two chunky seven-monthers play "Courthouse" in matching frocks (that I totally bought when I was pregnant and now they're wearing them sigh).

"Prosecutor Rev? You may now approach the bench!"
"Thank you, your honor."
IMG_2860 Nothing sweeter than sister love.
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Or an Amelia Bedelia party.
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This week was good. I feel good. Like, really good. Happy good. I'm still not sleeping but I'm in a very different place today than I was when I sat down to write last Monday's post. I put on lipstick this morning and clothes that aren't leggings and now I feel mildly attractive.

Is that all it takes? Maybe. Or perhaps it has to do with my spending the last seven days working outside of my house, wearing clothes that aren't 100% spandex, socializing with people who aren't my husband, children and mom.
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I love my family times infinity infinityfin but WOW, does it feel good to leave sometimes. I've spent the majority of the last year home. Working from home. Parenting from home. Socializing from home... And sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it sucks a big, fat, humongous one.

Things that do not suck:

1. Setting your car GPS and then going a completely different direction just to piss off THE MAN. Yeah. The man is pissed.
2. Hot Pink lipstick (I forgot how awesome...)
3. Surprise flower bouquets from supportive husbands.
IMG_2655 IMG_2638 Last week I got to leave. I got to wear makeup and dresses and hang out with people in a work-type setting and it felt awesome. Like a vacation I got to come home from every day. It only felt like work when I realized I had sweat circles down to my ankles and had to arrange my body in creative ways as not to reveal my giant sweat stains to camera. (We shot several episodes of ChildStyle last week = very fun/exciting.)

It made me realize that as much as I crave alone time so do I also need to interact with other adults (who aren't my immediate family) on a regular basis in order to feel happy and human.
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with Daphne Brogden, shooting a mom thing TBA

Partially human, anyway.

It's why I've spent the last thirteen years (on and off) writing in coffee shops. And why I intend to start doing so again. Because even though the last few months have been amazing - working from home - being a room away from my babies... mama needs some space as well.

And that's okay! It's okay that I need my space! IT'S OKAY THAT I WANT TO WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME AND BE HOME WITH MY KIDS! I REFUSE TO START A MOMMY WAR WITH MYSELF! 

Honestly, though. Sometimes I need to get the hell out of the house. For an hour or ten, so that I can look forward to coming home. That's who I am and I'm good with that.
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Hal's the same way. The only difference? He's a man so he doesn't have to explain himself.
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Speaking of Hal and manhood... Six months ago, he made an appointment to get a consultation (bump bump BUMP) for a vasectomy.

(Hours after the babies were born, we started talking about birth control. I've been quietly regretting not having my tubes tied during my C-section, but in the moment, emotional and puking, I was not in my right head to make any informed (intelligent) decisions.)

What's done is done, of course, and since six months have now passed since Hal's vasectomy consultation with no plans for a follow-up, I decided, this morning, to grab the uterus by the horns.
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Yeehaw.

I will soon be the proud owner of another IUD, this time one without hormones. (Cough, Mirena, cough.) I cannot deal with hormonal birth control right now/ever. My hair is finally coming back and my sex drive has kicked into some kind of crazy overdrive, which? Awesome. So long as I have a few hairs to whip back and forth at the local sex party.

Anyway. I feel empowered by my decision. I hate to feel passive, especially when it comes to birth control, I don't care how married I am.
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We took the big kids to see Chimpanzee on Sunday which was awesome. Highly recommended. All four of us adored.

Archer and Fable discovered the wonderful world of the Whoopee Cushion after cashing in their good behavior at the dentist's office and OH. HOLY. SHIT. How had I possibly forgotten? 
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I don't think there is a more worthwhile laugh in all the land than The Cushion that Whoopees, and the six of us, (eight, including my parents who were visiting over the weekend) spent a total of 78798123 hours laughing and farting, farting and laughing all. week. long. It was a good time, you guys.
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A rootin' tootin' time.
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GGC

55 comments:

NOELLE ALOUD | 1:51 PM

I love you, and "I refuse to start a mommy war with myself!" is my new mantra.

Polly | 1:56 PM

You are a photographic goddess. And from someone who just took a weekend stay-cation away from my family so that I could get my head back, I so get you! (BTW, I stayed at the Sunset Tower Hotel and looked out my window at that view and thanked my lucky stars my husband wasn't with me. Because even though there's already one baby in there, I thought the hotel might've miraculously given me two. Because that's how it rolls, apparently.) xo

Sarah | 1:57 PM

I have the Paragard (non hormonal IUD) and the only downside is that I seriously have a 2 week period. That means I am bleeding almost half the time. I have always had long periods with light flow, but since the IUD I have reeeeally long periods with some days of heavy flow. Because I like to have sex (hence the need for birth control) and don't want to stop for 2 weeks every month, we have stained a lot of sheets and towels. That said, the Paragard is the best, most reliable choice that I see.

stacy | 2:13 PM

love the whoopie cushion shenanigans at the end. Your little fam sounds so much fun- the kind of people other people just want to be around. I love the pic. of the babies giggling in their stroller. I assume someone had just sat on a farting cushion? xx Love this blog!

margosita | 2:20 PM

Just felt the need to say HELLO and scrawl a little I WAS HERE in the comment box. No real reason, other than to say these posts always make my afternoon. Lovely, lovely.

Sarah | 2:21 PM

It's amazing how just going to the grocery store by yourself is soothing. No need to roll the cart constantly so a baby doesn't cry, no need for the ginormous bag full of everything everyone might ever need, no giant car seat to haul in and out. I totally hear you on the alone time, and why do we start mommy wars with ourselves or others? Time better spent getting a pedicure and thinking how amazing it is that we do what we do.

Megan | 2:30 PM

Monday has become my favorite day (I know!) because of your Liner Notes. I look forward to them every Monday. Thank you!

Anonymous | 2:31 PM

MOMcations are the best (just returned from a couple days in Vegas with my hubs - he was there for work which meant a good split of me time and couple time)

Hubs was going to get clipped before our trip, but when I informed him he would still be "fertile" for a few months he freaked. I stepped up on the procreation front (as always) and scheduled a Paraguard appointment. Only 6 weeks in, and I have to say that first period was KILLER I don't think I have ever ever bled that much (it was only 4 days, but wow I think I lost half of the blood in my body). I am told it gets better after the first couple cycles.

Happy to be hormone and baby free.

Kate | 2:36 PM

Change the towels in the green bathroom, measure two cups of rice! Amelia Bedelia FTW! She's in my top 3 favorite books I read as a babe. Also in the top 3? Cappy, and Alexander.

Hooray for this week looking better. Way to make things move in your direction.

Rachel | 2:58 PM

Just wondered if you have ever heard of Essure? You can Google it to get info. It's a way of blocking your tubes do you don't have to be cut to ensure permanent birth control. It's an outpatient procedure and I did have a general anesthetic but seriously was in and out in about 3 hours and was up and running the next day with no pain and no discomfort. No need to worry about birth control ever again after the all clear was given after my 3 month scan to check it had all worked. It's covered by most health insurance plans and I would highly reccomend it!

Little Miss Moi | 3:00 PM

Oh god... I mentioned in passing last night as I was getting dinner ready.. "Oh and my friend wanted me to go to the movies tonight but I said no I couldn't go". I just didn't occur to me that the Mr would be home early enough and have enough energy to deal. He looked at the clock and said, "YOu've got time. Go now" so I went. And it was awesome (deckchair cinema - movies under the stars - Women on the 6th Floor - AMAZING!)

Love me some me time.

Sharon @ Discovering blog | 3:23 PM

Love the point about Hal not needing to defend his choices. It's so true! Good for you, we can't wait to hear what the tbd is!

Anonymous | 3:23 PM

I have a copper IUD that I've had for a little over a year, and I love it! My periods got a little longer 5-7 days as opposed to 3-5 when on the pill, and I definitely get more cramps, but that has lessened over time. I love that I am back on a natural cycle, and I love that I can take it out and (hopefully) start my family without turning into a crazy hormonal piece of work. I hope it works for you.

Kacey Haffner-Bruce | 4:03 PM

love the last photo of "your village"

Anonymous | 4:20 PM

I LOVE my Paragard! I had my baby almost 5 years ago, so I've got another 5 years on this bad boy. My periods aren't any longer than they used to be but I do deal with some nasty cramps now and then. They aren't anything I can't handle though and wouldn't trade it for horomones anyday. Good choice!

Molly | 4:24 PM

that last picture is heaven.

Clandestine Road | 4:59 PM

"Take my uterus by the horns"

You're my favorite.

Time alone to recharge is so important. Glad you're finding some time to do so.

Wishing you some sleep tonight! Or not. Wink, wink.

Angela

Motherhood on the Rocks | 6:13 PM

Your photos are absolutely beautiful!

I am also in the same mommy war with myself. It's a tough one!

Angela | 6:33 PM

I totally agree about getting out of the house and how it can do wonders for a mom. Just like the other commenter said, I am going to use "I refuse to start a mommy war with myself!" as my new mantra. Love it.

Kammy | 6:40 PM

Oh you so should have gone for the tubal during the C. That's what I did because I didn't trust that my husband would go through with a vasectomy--ha!
And, big fat YES that it's good to get away. I stay home with my kids (well, only one now)...and I sometimes go for several MONTHS without going out with friends and that seriously blows. Having some time away makes everything better. It really does. So enjoy it :)

haleyhd | 7:11 PM

I also look forward to Mondays because of your Linear Notes. They are the Post Secret Sundays of Monday. It doesn't matter that I've already seen all of the photos on Instagram; it is the untold stories behind the photos that I absolutely adore. Thank you for sharing these snippets every week.

Megan | 7:44 PM

I've had the Mirena and Paraguard IUDs and I have to say neither are for me. I had terrible acne with both, and could feel both of them during intimate moments. Plus the Paraguard gave me crazy long, heavy periods. Which is about as sexy as they sound. I literally joined Costco so I could afford to keep up with the tampons. But I've heard of people loving their IUDs.

glenda | 7:53 PM

It's good that you get to get out to work... and talk to adults :)

Happy mama... happy kiddos... happy family!

I had a tubal when my daughter was 3 mos. I just didn't want to worry about BC and after two I knew we were done (a boy and a girl)

Beautiful pictures. Love love the last one of all and your parents!

robin | 7:56 PM

It is totally normal/natural/understandable/etcetc to feel the need to interact with people who can wipe their own noses and are not a part of your immediate family. Man, woman, or child, there is no need to explain or defend oneself about this! Good for you for doing it!

My hubs just got a vasectomy a couple months ago-YAY! It was cause for celebration. And celebrate we did. Wink, nudge.

I love your family. :)

Pretzel Thief | 8:26 PM

Rebecca, you? Are awesomesauce. That is all.

Anonymous | 10:26 PM

Another Paragard-lover here. I chose it particularly because it didn't have hormones and because it was easy to use (one appointment, and that's it for years). The only downside I noted, like some other commentors, is that my cramps and flow were much heavier, but the inconvenience of that was balanced by all the other conveniences.

I hope you love it too!

Clare | 2:30 AM

Your post made me laugh out loud in a way that is not appropriate in my law lecture but thanks- feels good to snicker . I love your blog and watching (non creepily) your beautiful family grow up. I hope you keep writing because it makes heaps of people happy.

Lisa | 3:36 AM

I just wanted to say that there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to get out of the house and interact with grownups... even *gasp* dare to enjoy working after having kids. It's totally normal, there's a reason women is the 60s drank so much. Do what makes you happy!

Anonymous | 5:54 AM

Glad you are feeling better this week. You look great, hang in there. Babies are so beautiful. Mary in NY

Connie | 6:13 AM

Agh.That last photo?!

I. Die.


It's so good to hear you so joyful. :)

Welcome back, darlin.

Amelia | 7:23 AM

I haven't commented in a while--like a long while--but I've still been a dedicated reader and after today's post had to jump in with the following: I REALLY appreciate you talking about sexiness and out-of-the-houseness and whipping-hairness and IUDness and all of the other 'nesses that are out there. I so wholly believe that the best way to be a kickass wife, mama, friend and lady is to still invest in yourself. I also seek time out of the house by myself, I still go out with my ladies every couple of weeks (ehh--once a month. At least once a month!) and I still get a thrill from making eyes and having eyes made at me. I don't talk about this stuff too much because the Mommy Camp mandates that we trip over our swords at every turn, but I have been feeling so much more brave about saying what really makes me happy to my girlfriends, in part because of finding some camaraderie on that front here. I hosted a bachelorette party on Saturday and instead of making it all about penises, we made it all about women and what makes us feel awesome (singing, sequins, low light,red lips, and shaking our money makers with college boys, as it turns out...at least in that context)and I was telling them about this great blog and how there are other women out there that don't have to apologize for wanting to feel like an independent woman from time to time. So, yeah. All of that. I should probably start commenting more often so that I avoid these novellas in the future, but it's all to say thank you aaaaannnnnnd, I think you're awesome.

Anonymous | 7:44 AM

love your family! great post.

-another paragard user (3 years)

Sarah @ Williamsburg Baby | 9:15 AM

I hear you about the needing to be out of the house thing. I've been a freelance writer for about 7 years, mainly working from home but sometimes in the office for month long stints on various projects. But a huge project finished in December, right around the time I was pregnant, and I sorta thought, this is a message from the gods telling me to be a stay at home mom for at least a little while. But then a job possibility came up, full time, and my first, gleeful thought was: NANNY!!! So here I am, 6 months pregnant and contemplating going back to an office and I am pretty thrilled at the prospect. Life is weird, huh?

julie forkner | 9:25 AM
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julie forkner | 9:25 AM

i love how honest you are. just love it. that is all. (& thank you for it!)

Carrie | 12:46 PM

Love the Paraguard - I had one, took it out, had two kids, and now I have it again. Yes, the first two days of my period are gnarly but that's why there's OB Super Plus. Good for you for taking care of business upstairs and downstairs.

Alt-Mama | 12:51 PM

Hooray for alone and away time! I, too, write in coffee shops (one in particular, like, five minutes up the road, but it's a universe away from working/parenting/etc. from home... which I also feel very lucky to do). You look fantastic and happy btw-- and those kiddos-- cute-cute.

I have a copper IUD (one unplanned baby made that decision for me) and it's not perfect, but it's far better than hormones and other methods that don't work (*cough* diaphragms, *cough* counting cycle days?). Good call!

And wow, I'd forgotten alllll about Amelia Bedelia. Nice.

Stay happy!

Taylor Alt-Mama

Amanda | 1:20 PM

I've been rockin' the Paragard on my person for almost two years now and while we have our moments (the post-insertion was pretty brutal along with the first couple periods that ruined a pair of shorts...during a grocery trip, YAY, and *slightly* longer periods with the occasional holy-shit-pass-me-all-of-the-ibuprofen cramps) I can say I love it. Definitely the best choice for me regarding wanting a solid form of birth control minus the hormones.

Anonymous | 5:17 PM

I breast fed all four of my kids. I just found out I have breast cancer. I'm 43. I'm so scared.

Anonymous | 5:30 PM

@Anonymous, i'm so sorry. pls don't be scared. which is such a dumb thing for me to say but i just wanted to reach out to you. thank you for being so brave to write a comment. i'm going to say a prayer for you. <3

Suburban Kamikaze | 6:18 PM

Love the crayons in the cup holder. As a photograph I mean. In real life, that is just asking for trouble.

SK

Clandestine Road | 9:08 PM

@ Anonymous,

I am so sad to hear about your cancer! I'm thinking of you. I hope you have support and space to grieve.

Angela

Courtney | 9:15 PM
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Anonymous | 9:26 PM

I have been following your blog for a little while now, and can relate to so much. Your babies are just a couple weeks younger than my baby girl. An your other two look about the same ages as my son and daughter too! I think thats cool!
I was hoping you could share something with your readers it is a beautiful story of an incredible baby girl her name is Avery and her story is found at Avery's Bucket List. It's her blog about her life and her mission to wipe out SMA. Please share iit with as many people as you can so we can help these babies!

Judy

ELP | 7:03 AM

Last photo just made me feel so happy. Love!!

norah | 8:54 AM

The funny thing is that we do it to ourselves. No one is looking at you and thinking "Wow, what a bad mom, I can't believe she went out to dinner with friends." but there is something in the back of our minds that makes us FEEL like people are saying that. It's like being a teenager again. You think everyone is looking at your zit, but they are really too busy worrying about their own.

Dani | 6:30 PM

Beautiful pictures. I love the refreshing honesty. Just wrote about my hesitation in even thinking about three and your little zoo makes me think maybe I can do it!

shadymama | 8:08 AM

can i just tell you i love - like, LOVE, like, LUUUURVE - my non-hormonal IUD. LUUUURVE. yay birth control! gotta love that shit.

Rebekah | 10:10 AM

Beautiful post and pics.

Heather S in Austin | 12:22 PM

I love everything about this post. Everything.

Bekka Ross Russell | 1:10 AM

Gorgeous. ADORE the baby frocks - WAY too cute for words! And I love seeing their chub - I've spent too long with too many sick, skinny kids at the orphanage, I now revel in baby chub like never before (and they DO get chubby eventually, if it takes months of hand feeding, THEY WILL CHUB UP!). All four of your kids are amazing, and you're amazing for knowing your limits and getting yourself out of the house sometimes and NOT starting a mommy war with yourself because hello? Who needs that nonsense? xoxo Bekka

Heather | 7:49 AM

Just a thought, if you are 100% fine with permanent birth control they have a new option for women. My sister was telling me about it. They insert it like and IUD but it has little springs that go into your tubes and form a block of scar tissue. As effective as a tubal without the surgery and no hormones. No replacement. Just one and done. Just a thought. :-)

Daphne | 12:28 PM

Ah, I came to see the girls crawling and then I see that great picture of us! bless. It was so nice to see you. I too love my home and LOVE to get out of it! Love you.

ASGSr | 7:56 PM

Have had two Paraguards over the past 15 years and LOVE it. Heavier periods, and some months are crapier than others, but I can't do the hormones. It's delightful to not have to worry about it at all.

heather v keeling | 10:40 PM

I cried when my twins started crawling! i was scared shitless of that next phase! and I often cry when I read your honest/hilarious/eloquent writing. your blog is really amazing! I love your style, and your family and photos are gorgeous. thank you for sharing it with all of us!
love from Portland!