I'd like to buy a bowel... movement IN A TOILET, please!

This week on Mom.me, I wrote about poop.

Which happens to the best of us.

(Just preferably in a toilet.)

Here's the thing. It's time...

For ten years I have wiped butts and I am very much ready to retire. But we have a very different beast with the twins than we had with Archer and Fable. We have two children who are the exact same age and multiply their willpower against each other and then BAM. 

And so, I write this post, as a song of solidarity for those of you whose kids aren't doing the things they should be doing yet. Because EVERYONE is late with something. At least, in my experience. Archer didn't speak coherently until he was 3. (Here are some old posts about Archer's delayed speech for those interested.) Fable didn't crawl until she was 13 months old. (Both Archer and Fable didn't walk until 18 months! Hell. Archer had a pacifier until the eve of his first day of kindergarten when he volunteered his "nunu" as tribute and it was never seen again.)

...In the meantime, I'll be here, staring into the abyss of exhausted options, hand on the wheel... muttering bad puns about "buying bowels" and "Vanna... wipes."
You can read the entire post, here.