WTF is so great about Goodnight Moon???
Goodnight Moon is arguably the most well-known American Baby Book which says a lot about America I think. For one, the book sucks. It says nothing. It barely rhymes and although the pictures are fine, it's just very ho-hum booooooring. No diss on Margaret Wise Brown. Runaway Bunny is genius. I love everything about that book but Goodnight Moon just sucks. Ass. It's an overrated piece of baby poop-pop-lit and I am pretty sure I am the first to say it. (try googling GOODNIGHT MOON SUCKS. Nothing comes up... until NOW!)
We received many books at Archer's baby shower. Being voracious readers many of our friends/strangers bought Arch books. Not surprisingly we received 12 Goodnight Moons. Over 50% of Archer's library. No offense if you bought us a Goodnight Moon and are reading this but how unoriginal are you? Psh. I exchanged all but one of the GNM's for books like Outside Over There (my childhood favorite) and Aesop's Fables. Books with at least *some* substance. I mean. Good Dog, Carl says a whole lot more than Goodnight Moon and it doesn't even say anything!
Anyway, this has been a recent epiphany because last night as always I collected Archer's board books from his bookshelf. We opened Goodnight Moon and I stopped mid-(the following) sentence:
Goodnight cow jumping over the moon
Yikes. How the hell did this book get so popular? Moon and Moon? Not only that but the iambic pentameter is totally off...
I kept reading, slowly until I ran into the climax:
Unless I am missing the pre-post-modern, existential significance, I am pretty sure that the author just ran out of ideas and stuck in, nobody because of a deadline. I'm not saying that children's books have to mean something, but "Goodnight Nobody?" Pulease.
I will admit that I am a bit snobby when it comes to books. It probably has something to do with the fact that pop literature has made it near impossible to write/sell a novel that does not boast Manolo Blahnik sandals on the cover. Or a martini. Or pink. Authors like Knut Hamsun, Virginia Woolf and Colette would never get the chance to be banned today because no one would publish them. Too much character, not enough story- etc, etc.
I imagine there are scores of children's book authors whose manuscripts have been turned down because of this precedent:
A comb and a brush/
And a bowl full of mush*
Anyway. I am realizing as I write this how terrible I sound. Shame on me, but seriously shame on us for kissing The Emperor's ass. There are wonderful children's books out there. And then there's Goodnight effing Moon.
*wtf is up with "mush?"