Confession #1: I am not breastfeeding
Confession #2: I stopped when Archer was 6 weeks old.
Confession #3: I absolutely hated it.
Confession #4: I hate everyone who gives me shit about it...
Ah, yes. My new biggest pet peeve are people that lecture me on breast-feeding: like the lady in line at the grocery store, like the dude in the elevator and the dozens of others who think its okay to tell me how to raise my child and work my body. Even my pediatrician raises her eyebrows when I remind her that I feed Archer formula. I am not breast-feeding and although I am not denying that I didn't "try hard enough" I have no regrets so don't make me slap you. I think breastfeeding is wonderful and amazing and I really wish it worked out for me but it did not. Not in this life.
"Cute baby, are you breastfeeding?"
"Oh. I see. (eyebrows raise) Why not?"
"I don't think its any of your business, actually." (100 watt smile)
I had two breast reductions which is like having one but a lot worse. If any of you have had a breast reduction you will understand. I would even go as far as saying that childbirth was a breeze compared to the surgical procedure of removing ones nipples, removing several pounds of boob and sewing them back together haphazardly. And then having to go through it again three years later. (They grew back. I know, I am like a starfish.)
There are many excuses I would rather make then go into the truth because most people don't get the whole "removing big tits mentality." Men especially. Most dudes have this picture in their mind but in reality its more like this. I knew from the beginning that having a breast reduction would probably ruin my chance of having a happy breastfeeding experience, if one at all. At 18 years old I didn't care. I just wanted to buy my bras at normal stores like Victoria's Secret instead of getting grammy bras at outlet stores. I just wanted to wear a bathing suit without looking like a hooker, (or being called one.) I wanted to work out without the mandatory two sports bras for support. I digress...
Can you blame me for not wanting to go into this with strangers? I don't see why I should be asked to explain myself in the first place. Even if I had decided not to breastfeed for other reasons, they are PERSONAL reasons, as in... it's no one's business. Gosh! People can be so rude.
This has been the last straw. The next time some asshole asks me, (s)he's going to get a bottle of ENFAMIL in the face. Not kidding.
My son is healthy and that's alllll that matters.