To Christmas or not to Christmas:

It is beginning to look a lot like Hanukkah

After much contemplation we have decided not to celebrate Christmas in our home. I am a little bit sad because I wanted a Christmas tree, to hell with the rest of it, I just am a fan of trees with the twinkly lights. I tried to trick my old man into buying a "Hanukkah Bush" but he was not amused. My dad, backing me up, suggested "A Pagan Pine" but that also was not accepted, so there you have it folks.

Archer will be raised a Jew which means he will probably ruin Santa for the rest of the kids.

"Why, Santa? He's just a big, fat lie the gentiles tell their kids. There is no Santa!"

Just as well, I suppose. Finding out that Santa was a big, fat lie was pretty upsetting. It was Katie Anglestead who broke the news to me in 2nd grade. I was a die-hard Santa fan. I even had an elf named Pixie that Santa sent as a messenger and he would move around the house whenever I left the room. I never was able to touch him because if I did he would disappear and every year I would cry on Christmas Eve because Pixie had to leave me and go back with Santa to the North Pole. One year Pixie fell from a shelf and broke. I was shattered to learn that he was made of glass but believed that it was just his "cover." There was no turning back after Katie broke the news, explaining in detail why Santa was an impossible idea. When I found Santa's gifts in my Dad's closet I knew Katie was right. It was traumatic. Idealism hurts, yo.

My questions to GGC Readers: How did you find out that Santa was a farce? For all non-celebrating Xmas readers: How did you feel about Santa? Did he come anyway? Some of my Jewish friends had "Hanukkah Harry" which is kind of odd, but shit, whatever works. Tell me your stories, people...

Signing off on this totally Torah Tuesday!




Anonymous | 7:17 PM

Well you know I'm all about the christmas envy so perhaps I am not the best person to make you feel better about the no-christmas-policy - We don't have a tree either - we celebrate Hanukkah but I am having some serious monster-green-jealousy-issues when I see my friends' beautiful christmas trees and lights..hang in there - you're not alone!

jdg | 12:13 PM

In my imagined secular jewish childhood I had Menorah Mortimer, the atheist, union organizing socialist intellectual with big black-framed glasses who loaned me copies of kafka and eagleton and told me how right I was to spite my fundamentalist christian family and their stupid gift-bestowing materialist capitalist icon.

Pinterest Failures | 3:46 AM

I learned everything that was important (the truth about Santa, Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy) on the school bus. Also learned some SWEET swear words.

Would you consider celebrating Festivus? You got room for a Festivus Pole in your living room?


Ohhh festivus? Sounds interesting and pshhhh, there is always room for a pole.

Anonymous | 8:35 AM



HAHAHAHAHA! I changed her name by one letter so that if she googled herself she would not find me. You just blew my cover, Pear.

Tanya Norton | 10:20 PM

I think, upon having children, that even if I didn't celebrate Christmas, I would invent another tradition heralded by the appearance of an imaginary character once a year just to create an extra reason to have a super-duper imagination-filled fun day with my kiddies! Just because. Our's is not about the materialistics of the celebration (though it is an excellent reason to spoil our kids and let them have a day of being filled with candy and playing in a house of toys/books/craziness (okay the latter happens everyday), but of spending time with family and having a great day! We see family all the time and try to make every day fun, but this is a day filled with imagination and excitement where everything has gone beyond the normal of our day (the point of making it beyond normal in the first place!). My husband's culture doesn't celebrate Christmas but he accepts my desire to share the wonders that I experienced as a child, with our children. When the reality of Christmas and Santa is introduced, nothing will change except their knowledge, as was the case in our family, and therefore the tradition will neither cease nor negatively impact upon their experiences. Afterall, everything in life changes and is interpreted differently depending on our company, our mood and our knowledge. Life is indubitibly beautiful and wonderous and Christmas, as with other significant holidays, is a time to be together and enjoy the wonders of life! Oh and I love the traditions of decorating the fresh pine Christmas tree and dressing the kids in Christmas colours for photographs by the tree. It's just magical for us! xxx