Effing H'ing... Whatever

So... here's the thing. Sometimes I cuss. 

Memo to brand new parents: Just because your child isn't talking doesn't mean your child isn't listening, soaking like a sponge words like "fuck," "shit," "vaginalipped-hobag" etc. (But you probably knew that because you're smarter than I am.)

Memo to self: Comb hair before next momversation because Oy. 

Memo to viewers: Since this episode of Momversation taped I got a much-needed haircut. At least Alice and Mindy look hot: 

What about you? Are you as classy as I am when it comes to swear-word etiquette? Got any good swearing toddler stories? Is cussing a big deal to you? A medium-sized deal? Have you managed to keep your kid's ears innocent? (I didn't hear "fuck" until I was eight-years old, you guys. EIGHT-YEARS OLD! This might be why I'm such a fan of four-letter words, now.)


In other news... a post-inauguration day fun-fest is happening in my left tit, something the doctors like to call... MASTITIS! Booooo! I mean... Booooob! I mean...  Left booooooob! Read all about my lumpy, clogged-duct infected, throbbing on-fire mastitisy teet, here. 



Kalisa | 10:47 AM

Oh man, I have THE BEST swearing toddler story!

When my son (now 15) was 2, his father had gone out and done yard work in his hiking boots. Which he then THREW INTO THE DRYER when he was done. I did not realize my dryer was caked with mud until I went to throw a clean load of wet clothes into it. I was SO PISSED. I dumped the clothes back into the washer, and was just cussing him while ON MY KNEES wiping out my dryer. "He is so. fucking. stupid!"

Of course, the little one was standing in the doorway watching me. "Hey!" he chastised me. "Don't say stupid!!"

Ashlee | 10:53 AM

We don't cuss often (at least around our children) but Caleb is just at that age where regular words sound like cuss words coming out of a two year old's mouth.

We were in line to see santa this year. The line was, of course, waaaaaaaay too long. To keep Caleb entertained, we were asking him to impersonate animals.

When Santa asked Caleb what he wanted for Christmas, Caleb looked him right in the eye and said, "A Fuck"

The Santa looked at me and bursted out laughing.

All the other Mommies stood there with shocked expressions while I tried desperately to explain that a Fuck is a Frog in Caleb language!


Ha! Funny! That's like how Archer used to call "socks" "cocks"... On a school field trip back in January, Archer and I were on the bus with his class and he screamed "A COCK! Look! A COCK!" ... Sure enough, a dirty sock was scrunched up in the walkway. I was like "Hi! He's new here."

Stephanie Greenwell | 11:03 AM

funny that you posted this today yes, i have. i don't like that i do, but sometimes "sh*t" flies from my mouth like the drop of a hat.

just this morning, twice i forgot something just as i'm trying to get (read: rushing) out of the back door to leave. my little girl, who is 2 1/2, was standing there the 2nd time i ran back and i said it, "SH*T"! guess who repeated with such emphasis and in a nonchalant manner?? i said "no, we don't say that" b/c this isn't the first time she has repeated my "sh*t"-fest of inappropriate language.

it's not my saving grace, but i'm humored at times. I just hope she doesn't do it in front of the "wrong" people--you know, the ones who start waving their "i'm-a-better-mom-than-you-because-i-never-make-mistakes" flag. i'll just take that flag from them and use it as hanky.

btw, i found your blog when my little girl was about 8 weeks old. I totally love your openness, sense of humor, candor, and the way i can relate to you from the Midwest. most of all, you're one cool mom, shoot, bee-otch, you're the sh*t!! ;)

Stephanie Greenwell | 11:12 AM

and one other story i just remembered:

when my son was about 3(he's almost 5 now), his daddy was on the phone with his office raising hell about something. he said "That motherF---ker," blah blah blah. I heard his rant(which wasn't normal around the kids), so i saw my son walking into the den where my husband was on the phone about to hang up, and my son said (no lie!) "who's dat motherf--ker on da phone?"

i think i may have pissed my pants, partly for shock that he said it, but mostly b/c i had to turn around so he wouldn't see me laugh!!! my husband, though, couldn't laugh, he grabbed my son and said "oh daddy is so sorry, daddy should never say things. you just slap daddy for that." i'm thinking, "Where's the line start, buddy?", but it really was very funny for me and i'm glad it happened at home.

Miss M | 11:24 AM

It always cracks me up when kids swear! My 7 year old pulled out a "Jesus Christ!" the other day, and between laughs, I tried to tell her that is a grown up word, and even grownups shouldn't REALLY say it...

I totally have a potty mouth too. It's way worse since I am pregnant and my patience is out the window. My husband is really bad about it too, but it is way cuter when he says it in his British accent!

I feel the same way you all seem to. They're gonna hear it anyway, and as long as they know it's a "grown up word" they'll be fine. It's not like we're escorting her to R rated movies... right?

Anonymous | 11:31 AM

Let's see, which is worse, my son (almost 3) liberally dropping "Goddamn" when he is frustrated or excited or the family dinner when he blurted out, "Uncle Jim is a jackass!"

Still wondering.

Anonymous | 11:35 AM

I have a cursing problem

I like to think it's not MY fault that fuck is so satisfying to scream when something goes wrong, am I?

We made a curse jar one day, and so far there's 20 sheets or so in there of curse IOU's because we never have cash on us, so needless to say say it's not going so well

Fuck it

Anonymous | 11:44 AM

OMFG. I too, am a cusser.

Not one of my proud moments, but I will share cause I like you ;)

Hubbs was outside, checking my engine, fluids,ect.. like a good hubby when our daughter (2.5 yrs old at the time) wanted to go and hang out with Daddy. So I take her outside and Hubbs is all "I got her, don't worry". I go back in and then 5 minutes later he comes busting into the house "Where is Hailey, I CAN'T FIND HER AVERAGE GIRL". Yeah, I start freaking out, head out the door and here she comes from around the other side of the house. Just as I see her, he is yelling behind me "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED BUT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HER IN THE FUCKING HOUSE WITH YOU".

I go over and take my daughters hand and tell her we are going inside. She looked me square in the face and said "But Mom, I don't wanna go in the fucking house".

Hubbs face turned white as a ghost.

We just don't say the EFF word in front of her...anymore....

Go ahead...judge me :(

Anonymous | 11:45 AM

"Damn it" is my curse word of choice... Last week i was getting breakfast ready for my two year old when he walked into the kitchen and said "i want a nanna damn it." I couldnt help myself i laughed out loud! Guess i use "damn it" a little to casually.

Sandi | 12:00 PM

First time reader and can I say, Love at first read?

I just spent about an hour reading this damn blog and I didn't have an hour to give. WTF?

Oh, and yes, I swear like a truck driver, I am also the mommy to 14 little children. They aren't all little, but they all shock the shit out of me sometimes. I don't know why it's so shocking though, they are little sponges, and what goes in, usually comes out. I honesty have so many horrible stories, I can't pick. But remember it's NOT because they are so damn bad, it because I have so damn many!

BTW....Did I tell you I loved you? I am adding you to my reader right now!

Anonymous | 12:08 PM

both my parents curse quite fluently and never made any effort to hide that from me. as a child i was taught that there is no such thing as bad words, there are only inappropriate times to use certain words. although i'm sure i had my moments (i remember i went through a "hell" phase when i was a pre-teen) for the most part cursing never impressed me because it wasn't 'forbidden' to me. i don't have kids (yet!) but i'd like to think i'll take the same approach my parents did.

Anonymous | 12:11 PM

I have a really bad potty mouth when I'm driving, and seeing as how we live in Florida, this time or year the "snow birds" old folks come on down for winter and really jack traffic up.

The other day my son (3) was tearing around the house on a tri-cycle when I stepped into his path, he yelled at me "Out of my way Stupid Old F*%K!! I just about died...

Katy | 12:34 PM

So, since I am a step mom and only have the kids 3 days a week, I am pretty good about not cussing in front of them..... Though there have been slips...

On Sunday, my step-daughter and I were making pancakes, when I dropped an egg on the floor, and slipped a "dammit" out under my breath..... realizing that the six year old was right next to me, I shyly glanced at her, and she smiled and said "I am teaching Mommy to say 'Shoot", so I will start teaching you, too, Katy."

She kills me with cuteness.

Anonymous | 12:38 PM

I have a potty mouth too, I'm trying to curb my swearing before this baby (my first) is born...but so far I've not been sucessful. I think it's a daily occurance for me to have a "sh*t f*ck sh*t" rant. :)

Carmen | 12:52 PM

I didn't hear the F-word until the summer after seventh grade. I was 11. And I never thought my parents used it until a few years ago - I was probably about 32 or 33. They did a great job of not using that word in front of my brother and me. Shit, damn and hell were used liberally though - but of course we weren't allowed to use them.

My 2.5 year old hears the word "crap" come out of my mouth a lot. I need to dial that one back.

Anonymous | 1:03 PM

I don't swear much. I'm a crap dang shoot girl. Unless I'm out with friends, then I pick up their words, I guess our kids are like us.

Driving one day I hear a small voice from the back seat: "I kick your ass" and since I have twins and not only one can say something the other small voice says "No, I kick YOUR ass". Back and forth for 10 minutes. I would have told them to stop or that those were grown up words but I was too busy laughing silently with tears streaming down my face, recording the exchange on my cell phone so I could send it to my mom, and doing my best not to crash the car.

These dudes are awesome.

Mama Bee | 1:19 PM

Gawd, I swear like a SAILOR (it's even worse when I'm blogging)! I try to cut back around Baby Bee, but let's be honest, it never works. I'm counting down the days until Bee blurts out her first "What a douchebag!"

Not swearing related, but she's already yelling at cars in her car seat: "Go! Go, cars! Beep! Beep!"

tracey.becker1@gmail.com | 1:20 PM

Love this!

My kids have always asked me what the "bad words" mean. I tell them and then tell them that THEY are not allowed to use them, even if I DO.

My choice phrases as of late are damnit, crap, and oh shit...

Anonymous | 1:25 PM

My brother used to pronounce "fork"...well, you know.

Now that we're all in our teens(ish) our family has a very colorful vocabulary. It drives my dad nuts, but he's outnumbered.

Anonymous | 1:54 PM

okay so i'm the only nerdo here that doesn't curse and if my kids say shutup or stupid to eachother it's like a curse to me. after leaving home at 17 (where i couldn't curse) i went on to have my first child at 18 (and didn't curse in front of her) and then went on to be a preschool teacher (where i REALLY can't curse) so it just never became part of my vocabulary. in fact, i'm a speller and whisperer!! i will occasionally curse- i'm not against it- but mostly i'll do the "THEN, SHE TOLD DAN TO GET HIS *shit* AND GET OUT!" i totally whisper the *shit* part.

Unknown | 2:08 PM

Long time lurker here. I had to chime in on this one. I swear in front of my kids all the time who are seven, five, and three. They have of course picked up on my potty mouth. I don't really mind if they swear as long as they are using the words properly. One time though my kids and I were out at costco shopping and my middle one was three so he was still in the testing words out phase. So in the middle of costco he says really loudly oh fuck. Which made me laugh hysterically cuase I am an ass like that which made him keep saying it. So there we were in costco and he kept saying oh fuck really loudly and I was laughing and couldn't stop. Everyone around us was staring in disgust. It was one of my finer parenting moments. Chrissy

Anonymous | 2:26 PM

jjlibra here comes the other nerd...

When my husband and I got married we decided to quit- cold turkey!- swearing. We wanted the habit gone before we even had children. And we did it.

Now, if I drop something at work (I'm a designer) and break it, sh*t might slip out. But this happens maybe twice a year. I'm no saint but I believe it's a choice you make.

My kids (ages 7,6 and 4) think the worst words you can say are shut-up and stupid. I would like to keep it this way for a long, long time. I think it's precious and love seeing their innocence in such a crappy world.

I think, especially from a woman, cursing just makes you SEEM... a bit without class. It's tacky. I skim blogs that curse a lot and sometimes leave altogether. There really is no point. I think it makes folks- even others who curse- look at you with a little less respect than they would had you kept your mouth clean. In my opinion, of course.

minniemama68 | 3:03 PM

We try. We really do. But we can't help ourselves. DH is a truck driver so it is almost necessary for him to talk like one. I have no excuse, but I do cuss. A lot.

Three stories: Oldest kid only used to cuss in church. His favorite word--fuck.

Youngest son called his dad a friggin (yeah, you can tell I try no to cuss every now and then) asshole when dad wouldn't let him eat a whole container of fluff.

And the best--middle son (he's 6 now) was sitting at the dining room table on Christmas Eve eating with his 2 year old cousin. Cousin was talking and going on and on. My son was listening and finally looked at him with a very serious look on his face and said, "Jacob, I can't understand what THE HELL you are saying." (notice the emphasis on "the hell")

I am mother of the year.

Desiree | 3:58 PM

My friend's daughter will catch every swear word that comes out of our mouths. She polices us with a very cute reprimanding of "Des, we don't say fuck." or "We don't say shit."

Anonymous | 3:59 PM

Forgot to add older son..

He also had the sock cock issue. But to make it more fun he couldn't say corn he would say porn.

The poor 2 year old was used for entertainment all of the time. We had him say my sock likes corn at least 6546854 times because it came out as my cock likes porn and we would all laugh hysterically.

Another mother of the year over here!

Anonymous | 4:40 PM

My husband was working from home and taking care of our girls, then 2 & 4 mos) when I went back to work.

Apparently one day every time he'd finally get the baby to sleep, something would happen--the phone would ring, someone would come to the door, etc.

He finally got her down for the third time and the dogs started barking. He yelled, "God damn it you fucking dogs!"

Fast forward to evening, time to pick me up from the train station. He wrangled the kids into their seats, and the dogs were inside but looking out the window toward the car.

Our 2 year old waves and says, "Bye bye fucking dogs!"

Luckily he thinks quickly on his feet and recovered: "No, no honey. Barking dogs. Daddy said barking dogs."

A | 4:45 PM

this is hilarious. I have a funny story about my niece (luckily, mine isn't old enough to repeat what she hears).
K-bug had just spent 9 hours in a car with my brother (her daddy) and his friends...going to see my parents. She and my dad have a tradition of sharing some ice cream at night before bath time...so first thing, when she walks in the door is "Papa, let's have some ice cream!"
"Well," dad tells her, "I forgot to go to the store, so I don't have any."
In an angelic 4 yr. old voice, she says "Welllllll, SHIT."
No doubts about where she'd heard that word. HEY1 For once, it wasn't meeee!

Anonymous | 5:06 PM

My nephews first word was "bitch". My brother is a big fan of WRIF (a radio station here) and the guys are always saying "biiiiiitch". So, that was D's first word. Ever. And he said it to his grandma (not my mom). Which, really? VERY fitting. My daughter said "shit" a lot. And she'd always use it in the right context. Which I found hysterical. Also, my brother said "fuck" for "truck", so he was always yelling, even in public, "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Truly awesome.

April | 5:07 PM

my husband and i curse Way Too Much - and our 2yo is a late talker, so i know it's probably going to bite us in the ass soon... but, ya know, whatever.

my parents, however, did NOT curse. like EVER. my dad still doesn't curse (except for the occasional 'shit' playing tennis), but in the past year or so, my mom's started throwing out eff bombs. which is WAY weird.

cJessicaPyne | 5:10 PM

Funny toddler story:

My mom and I were sitting in a restaurant with my two nephews (4 and 18 months). After cutting their pancakes and handing them forks, we watched the 18 month old chase a particular piece around, sinking lower and lower in his high chair. Eventually he got frustrated and stabbed his fork as hard as possible, missed, and got it stuck in the Styrofoam tray - glaring and saying, "Ohhhhhh fuck."

Anonymous | 5:53 PM

saliors have nothing on me, and i am sorry but people do not look down on me. actually in business meetings it can be quite useful.

anyway so far the kids are ok because i try to temper myself but such is life if they start to cuse.

the most annoying thing that ever happened to me is i was talking to another mom in my building while the kids were playing a bit away from us. i dropped the f bomb and she said "shh language" as though i were her child. made me want to tell her to f-off :)

Unknown | 5:55 PM

I dropped my comments over at the Momvo site, but just had to say, great episode. So funny (so fucking funny?) with the bleeps.

And your story about driving and Archer reminded me of how my brother learned to cuss. He was barely talking, same thing, and my mom got pulled over while we were all in the back seat. She muttered "Oh, shit," and pulled out her license. Of course by the time the police officer got to the car my brother's chanting enthusiastically: "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, ohshit oshit, ohshit..."

The cop was not amused.

CecilyT | 6:48 PM

No good swearing story here for my little one, although I'm sure that it's only a short time away before we hear something good!

My brother used to say 'fooking' for 'looking', and my mom used to say that she was embarrassed in stores b/c my brother would shout (as we played hide 'n seek in the clothing racks) "I'm fooking Jessie!"

RE: your other 'fun'...mastitis is awful. I had it like 3 days after my milk came in. V always hated my right side, and ended up being a left-boobie-only baby, but I'm pretty sure she's ruined it for any subsequent little boobie-chompers that might show up in the future. The only thing that worked for me was a hot (and I mean really hot) bath deep enough to get your boobs to float, and then massage the milk out in the bath.

I hope it gets better fast!

Anonymous | 6:48 PM

one time i was sitting in my recliner and my 2 year old son started lining up his cars all over my shit. i said "sweetie, please go line your cars up over there" and he said "but i want to line my cars up on the fucking chair". i almost died.

Mama Seoul | 6:59 PM

I always meant to quit before my son was born, but multiple international moves and drivers are not conducive to quitting. Then my almost 2 year old started dropping f-bombs.

My husband and I both cut "fuck" from our vocabulary and he stopped. He still slips out with other words sometimes that I haven't managed to get rid of.

Anonymous | 7:57 PM

So here's my theroy, for what it's worth. There were obvious changes that had to be made in order to be the the best mother I could. For instance, nicotine and nursing don't go together and choosing between new Prada or Weeboks, no brainer.Others were not so black and white. To cuss or not to cuss?? I am a devoted shit,damn, hell, bastard, asshole fan. Always have been. I came to the conclusion that I can't possibly do everything perfect and say I do censor myself, does that mean she will never learn those words? Seriously I am ok with my kid knowing I am not perfect just as long as she knows she is loved. As for her not picking up the habit, well I say this to her. I am a grow woman, I run my house and care for my family so if I decide to call the guy in the SUV the size of Noahs ark a dumb Fuck for cutting me off when I am already running late on the way to school drop off then well that's my buisness. When the day comes that she has to juggle bills,chores, homework, carpools, sports practice, meals and mortgage payments and she finds that a loud SONOFABITCH helps she will understand.

Anonymous | 7:58 PM

My daughter is 18 months old, at about 12 months, I was taking her in the car with my mother to a Dr. appt. Imogen (daughter) was sitting in the backseat in her carseat and staring blankly out the window as if she could nod off at any moment. My mom exclaims "FUCK!". Without missing a beat, I turn and say "grandma saw a duck!" Imogen doesn't even turn around and without skipping a beat either says "quack, quack, quack!" Close call.

Imogen also has starting calling our cat by name. The thing is that his real name is "Neah" however we call him "little guy". So, what does it sound like when "little-guy" comes out of her mouth? "COCK-EYE"!!!!! too funny. It's so innocent coming from a kid who doesn't know any better. We prompt her to say it because we get a kick out of it. Horrible, I know but sometimes you have to get your laughs where you can.

Also, frogs are not the most toddler friendly creature. I swear she is saying "fuck". Needless to say that stuffed animal doesn't go out in public with us.

Anonymous | 8:42 PM

my husband liked the GD also, so when my daughter was 3.5 he asked if the nanny was there and she went to check and came in our room and responded "BOB BAMMIT! she is late again" she is now 9....my brother put his hand in dog poop the other day and we were talking about dog crap, and my 7 yr old son said some people also call it "DOG SHIT!!!"

helen | 8:56 PM

I come from a lineage of cussers. I was 3yo sitting in the grocery cart in the check out lane when a sweet old lady comes up to me and says how cute I was. My response? "fuck you". yeah my mom was horrified!

mo-wo | 9:06 PM

Miss Fancy wasn't even two when she made her grandpa bust a gut saying fuck it at a restaurant. I blamed her dad and his month off for the birth of our second kid.

We played a lot of Johnny Cash that month and we seemed to distract her with FOO IT and now she has forgotten.


kittenpie | 11:32 PM

I'm used to being pretty kid-friendly because of my work, so I'm pretty good, but there have been a couple of times when I've caught myself, only to have Pumpkinpie finish for me, as in

KP: Bloody...
PP: Hell!

Heza Hekele | 12:22 AM

You crack me up. I have the same attitude. I only started cracking down when my sister pitched a fit because her innocent, religiously-raised toddler was picking up swearing from her older cousin...my son. So, now he's not allowed to swear at school OR around his cousin. There, everyone is happy.

Anonymous | 6:11 AM

We tried so hard at first to censor ourselves, but we've kind of given up. We use a lot of colorful language, but so far our 3 year old has only said "What the hell was that?" And I felt it was a legitimate question.

I know there will come a day when we have to have a talk, but for now I think it's hilarious! My dad is a preacher so I can't wait for her to spout something off to him some day soon.

Anonymous | 6:27 AM

We don't censor ourselves much here. The kid hears it and has had some moments.
I have told the kid that she can swear as much as she wants once she is 16, (hoping by then she will have some idea of when its appropriate and not) I figure she is going to need to swear once she can drive anyway.

If she wants to say "the bad words" before then, she has to do it in her head or in her room or whatever. And she has informed me, several times, that she was "...saying bad words in my head right now mom."
Go for it kid, I know the feeling.

(Also, Speaking of cock- the middle kid used to call clocks "cocks!" So every time we drove by a building with a big clock on it... well, you get the idea. My grandfather appreciated that one.)

Anonymous | 8:17 AM

Neither my husband or I are cussers, assuming we can agree on what a cuss word is. He likes to teach my 2.5 yr old son "fun" phrases like "I got a lot of piss" (I agree, not a cuss word) and to call people "fun" names like "jack-ass" (the animal, of course). I totally have issue with the latter and am waiting for the call from preschool - he will be answering that one.

Anonymous | 9:27 AM

Apparently I have no idea how to leave comment cuz this is my 3rd try.

Catcher has picked up on our potty mouth problem. The result: a whole lot of funny.


Anonymous | 9:39 AM

I save it for the garage. Growing up, my Dad used to let it fly in his garage when he was working on things or just plain pissed off. My wife and I will occaisionally slip up in the house and our daughter has caught it. She knows certain words are bad so we make an extra effort to "punish" each other if it slips. But if I really am upset about something, I just take a walk to the garage and start stringing them together. The best part is that you don't have to worry about the car or workbench talking back to you.

Mandi | 9:56 AM

My son is two and a very clear talker. He often says dammit and Jesus Christ. But I figure if that's the worst it's going to get, I might as well just let it go! I work with children and the other day I told one of the boys to sit down on his butt and he was all snotty and said that's a naughty word, we don't say butt. WTF? Since when is butt a bad word?

the notorious b | 10:18 AM

I'm a big fan of cursing.
My son is 8, and I've always allowed him to curse, as long as he uses the word correctly, in an appropriate setting (ie, not at school or grandma's), and not to hurt people (we absolutely do NOT call names or cut people down!).

I am deathly afraid of cockroaches... and I don't even like saying the word... Recently, someone was talking about it, and I was like, "Eww... I hate that word!!"
His response?
"You mean the word after 'cock', mom?"
"Yes, baby. The word after 'cock.'"

He was totally oblivious to the commonly accepted 'bad' word, but not the word that is 'bad' to me.

Which goes to show you, that a word is just a word, until you teach someone it has power or meaning. Oh, and that my kid is adorable.

Katy | 10:49 AM

Also, this weekend I used "fudge" when I stubbed my toe, and my stepdaughter gave me a look and said "That is the mother of all bad words!"

Thank you , Christmas Story! Boy is she in for a big surprise.

Anonymous | 12:00 PM

I resort to Italian cursing when I can restrain myself ...but if I do end up saying something in front of my kids than I just say hey better not to say those words but it's not such a big deal - lest they become obsessed with this Taboo :)

Erica | 12:07 PM

I am what I and my friends refer to as "housetrained". I DO NOT swear in front of my kids. I use the F-word regularly in adult conversation because it is just so flexible and can be used in so many ways. But I never, ever, ever, curse in front of my kids. I can't stand to hear curse words come out of a toddler's mouth. (No judgement. If other people don't mind that their kids curse...that's their thing.) I just don't want MY kids to curse.

Anonymous | 12:39 PM

I was raised Southern Baptist (although I'm not anymore), so that did a pretty good job of pre-installing a filter for me. So in day-to-day life, I do a pretty good job of not cussing in front of my son (who will be 2 in March and speaks ridiculously well). I do have the tendency to say "Shit!" if I'm really angry or if I hurt myself, so he has said it a few times...I just ignore it, because I figure that if I make a big deal of it he'll say it more.

My husband is an engineer and works in construction, so I often have to remind him to tone it down when he gets home, just because *I* don't really want to hear it, much less my kid.

The only other thing I forsee my son saying a lot in the future is "hell", which we use liberally and don't really consider a "bad word" (lots of "what/how/why the hell..." around here!).

Tammi | 1:50 PM

We are getting better as our kids get older. There's still slip ups here and there. We've had some conversations that some things only grown up say because they aren't really very nice. They understand for the most part.

My husband is military and after his deployment, it was real bad. He started editing himself by saying "friggin" or something of that nature. My boys and I were getting into the truck and my 3 year old goes "Where's my friggin cup?!" I about peed my pants laughing. It could have be so much worse.

I'll take the blame for the one time my 4 year old's lego tower fell over and he screams "God damnit!" That one resulted in a talk and a edit. "Gosh darnit" is okay. Haha!

candace | 2:47 PM

My Sister is a super clean-language kind of person who was ultra protective of her kids when they were little. On one visit, when my nephew was about 3 years old, i was watching him ride his bike around the house and stop occasionally to fix imaginary breakdowns with the bike. Finally he stopped, kicked the bike and said "Oh fuck, I can't fix this thing again. Fuck fuck." And I left the room laughing hysterically. Even the most protected kids learn it from somewhere...

Anonymous | 4:02 PM

During the vice presidential debates, I yelled "Fuck that" and my very innocent 4 year old said "Fuck what Mom?"

Anonymous | 4:11 PM

just watched the momversation and need to add that i also like to curse when i write! i don't really curse while speaking but have no problem while writing- i too find it funny.

and also want to add that i don't think my kids won't learn that language or say those words because i'm sure that my 12 and 14 yr. olds curse up a storm in school. i just never have and don't want to hear them either. i have friends whose daughters are all "this is bullshit!" and i'm just like ewwww. good for them, not for me. my husband curses like a maniac though. he says fuck every other word. i just think fuck should be saved for special occasions. i mean really, does every little thing have to be a "mother fuckin'" problem? no. having to go back in the house because you forgot something is more of a damn it than a mother fuckin' cock sucker. don't you think?

Unknown | 5:28 PM

Oh boy, young children swearing...my favorite subject! My mom told me that my first word was 'shit', but once I was able to construct sentences, I always used it in the proper context...she took that to mean that I would become an English major, which I did =)

Julie | 9:53 PM

We were sitting in some drive through line that was taking way too long. My dtr (5 or 6 at the time) goes "Well, shat".
I'm like...what did you say?
She says "I said shat, but I think I meant shit."
I tell her.."yeah, you meant shit, but let's try not to use that word too much cause a lot of people don't like to hear it."
If I make anything a big deal with her, I might as well hang it up. She'll obsess on it.

mrs.notouching | 11:05 PM

First - so sorry about your sick boob :-( Second - it is good to see that even you can have a bad hair day... it does wonders for my self-esteem. I know... I'm sad.

Brooke - Little Miss Moi | 1:20 AM

Everytime my sister makes a swerve in her car, her three year old pipes up from the back, "Is that man an arsehole mummy?"

Same three year old saw me breastfeeding my 10 week old, and asked, "Does she munch on your boob with her choppers?"

And seriously, it sounded so sweet.

From my perspective, I've been expatting in a non-english speaking country for 2.5 years, and everyone (all the expats) here cusses. It's a frustrating place to live! Luckily, my 4.5 month old won't start parroting me for a while yet, but I plan to cross that bridge when I come to it. I love swearing. I think it's fun, and can punctuate sentences so nicely.

Anonymous | 4:02 AM

I also wanted to ad, since it's been said more than once, I don't think my "protected" kids will never learn the words. But I'd like for them to realize how ridiculous they sound once they do. And be set apart from others letting them fly. As adults if they make that choice, fine. But I don't find one thing cute about it at all, whether my kids are 2 or 12 and they won't be doing it our house. I don't even want to THINK about what my husband would do!

Melissa | 9:09 AM

We curse a little too much. It's such a hard habit to get out of. Now my kid is really starting to repeat things. I do pretty well around him, but his daddy is not as careful, so we have had a few choice words come out of his mouth. He doesn't really know what they are, though, so if you don't make a deal out of it, he won't say them again.

Still, I'd like to kind of curb my language just on general principal. I feel like after more than 30 years of cursing, there has got to be a better way of expressing myself.

Anonymous | 11:17 AM

I'm pretty good about keeping the potty mouth in check around my 2.5 year old, although I start sounding like a sailor when I talk about my work with my husband. I try not to do that around my daughter, but sometimes it happens.

Hilariously, she's picked up "shit" from somewhere not our house, and when she drops something, it comes out as plain as day and about as nonchalant in her little baby voice, "Shit." Not "Oh, shit!" Not "SHIT!" Just plain old in-her-mind-clearly-this-is-what-we-say-when-we-drop-something, "Shit." It's hysterical, and because it's not our curse of choice, her daddy and I aren't sure what to do about it. Right now we're settling for a mild, "That's not a very nice word," and seeing if that might do it.


Anonymous | 1:17 PM

I fucking curse like you wouldn't fucking believe. I'm fucking working on that shit since my son is getting older, but it's fucking hard! Well, this morning, I *think* he said "fuck" as we were walking the dogs and I think he kept saying "shit" as we drove in to daycare. He's 20 months and his language has been booming in the last month. So yeah, I think I need to be fucking done with the fucking cursing.

Anonymous | 2:40 PM

I literally don't think I heard the word fuck until middle school. My parents almost never cursed and I was media-sheltered. In 7th grade though I totally went through a phase where all my best friend and I would do on the school bus was curse. 'cause, you know, it was so new and exciting.

I'm pretty good about curbing myself when necessary (I work with kids), but my boyfriend not so much... I think our potential kid's first word will probably be "balls". or "fucking balls".

Maria Melee | 3:15 PM

Your blog makes me a more confident mother. Thank you for sharing your ups and downs and your beautiful kids.

carrie | 3:24 PM

Ah yes, the cursing in front of the children debate!

I've tried to keep a clean mouth but am only human. My kids know this and guess what? Being a grown up means you can do things that kids can't. Including swearing if you feel like it.

Anonymous | 6:48 PM

My 18 month old daughter rode to daycare with my husband every morning, so she soaked up plenty of wonderful vocabulary. He learned to watch what he was saying around her when she blurted out "Jesus F'ing Christ" from the backseat one day.

partyof6 | 9:34 PM

The other day we were in the car and my daughter who is 8 tells me that her little brother who is 6 just said "the word again" I said "what word?" She says "you know the one that starts with a P and ends with a china".

Anonymous | 9:15 AM

Well, you can tell how we talk around our house:
When my son was 3yo he brought me a book and said, "can you read the f'ing book to me? All nonchalant. I asked him two more times to repeat himself and yes, that's what he was saying.
Also, my other son, now 4, loves to call his dad a "meanie ass" when he gets in trouble.
We don't make a huge deal out of it. Just tell them that those words are only for adults and that they shouldn't say them. We do this after trying really hard not to laugh.

How to Party with an Infant | 10:15 PM

you're so damn funny.

Nell | 7:34 PM

I cuss more than I should that's for shizzle.

:--) Nell

Boo for the 'titis. I've got a mean Thrushy booooob going on myself. Power to the infected booby girls ;)