The "Wrong Fit"

*updated below*

This time last year my book came out. An April 1st release date delayed two weeks c/o life and its unexpected kookiness. I thought it was a sign as I usually do. Nothing ever goes right when you need it to. But that's okay. Because sometimes what is "right" isn't at all, not even close. Challenges are mandatory in life, especially when it comes to dreams being realized, spring arriving and with it the birds. Life is full of reminders that no matter how high we fly we are never above tragedy, loss or bad reviews.

This time last year I felt desperately alone and completely out of control. But I also felt elated because holy shit!!! I did it! I drew heads and legs on dreams and watched them walk out into the world and happy trails to you, little book. Happy trails.

After years of rejected manuscripts and kicking at doors, I had sold something. And it was out. Like, in stores.


It was as petrifying as it was liberating. I felt like I could do anything, regardless of how it was received. Learning to walk away from a critic smiling is like bungee jumping for those afraid of heights. I got to work right away on new projects and proposals and ideas I wanted to send out into the world. Because I can do anything! No one can stop me! Not even the voices telling me "Go on, you damn fool!" NOTHING!

But it hasn't been easy. Lots of work to be done. And I've been working my flat ass off this past year, not on Rockabye II: The Rockoning or even another book, but on a television pilot/script/proposal about new unexpected parenthood and the rebellion that follows. About the reestablishment of identity. The isolation. The utter ridiculousness of it all. Kind of like this blog in five acts.

Because I was so tired of the way mothers and fathers and families were depicted on television. All older and freshly pressed and wealthy with picket-fenced houses built out of brick and cliches. Because the only on-screen pregnant chick I'd ever related to was Juno and she gave her baby away. To Banana Republic's version of a "mom." Because moms don't look like Juno. Except actually? They do.

Because Jack Bauer on 24 is more relatable to new moms than the force fed politically-correct characters in In the Motherhood, Notes From the Underbelly and every other "parenting" show that lives briefly on network television before falling off the air. (I mean, really. Who are you seriously trying to reach with "rocker mom" Megan Mullally and her leather jacket circa 1996?)

not us said the fly!
...

Real mothers relate to women who are real -- who do not airbrush their lives or tuck in their shirts or bake heart-shaped cookies, sans burnt edges. Real women do not want to be bombarded by punchlines or political correctness. Real mothers are an all-ages show, a music festival with side stages and main stages and DJ tents to choose from. Why then must we all be lumped into the same category, herded by faulty shepherds toward the headlining act?

I was recently considered to be on Oprah with my friends from Momversation. After several exhaustive interviews and a week of waiting by the phone, I was told I was the wrong fit for the show.

"Cool. No problem. I understand," I said. And then I cried. Because who wants to be "the wrong fit" for anything?

The wrong fit for what? The wrong fit because... why?

"Because you're not exactly the 'down-the-middle' mom."

"Who is?"

As evidenced by these comments, very few of us feel like we "fit in" anywhere. And great because none of us have to.

Because it's a waste of time and heart to be anything but authentic.

Because unfortunately, what constitutes as "real parenting" on television these days are the Fake Housewives of New York City and Notes From the TV Executive's Wife's Playgroup .

But that will change. Or so I tell myself. Because no one wants to watch the "right down the middle television show. " No one relates to the "every-mom USA" advertisement.

Don't they?

Do you?

In the meantime I chase maybes, prepare proposals, rewrite scripts to land meetings with dudes who greenlight shows starring Horatio Sanz as the "manny" in order to convince them that the modern mother looks like me, too. Like US.


That in order to appeal to the audience they are so desperately after they must first tell an authentic story. (This, for example.) No talk of underbellies or motherhoods necessary.

Because "right down the middle" no longer exists. "The wrong fit" might pertain to jeans but not to people. Not to motherhood or parenthood or any other hood. Because an authentic experience is always right. Always appealing. And always relatable. Regardless of what it is or who you are or what the tattoos on your arms say.

(100% authentic grade A. happy baby)

So I'll continue to write what I know. Because that is what I've always done: knocking on doors, trying to convince strangers and executives and production peeps to spare some change re: the same old same old. And when I'm done knocking? I'll just knock again. Because quite often that's the only way to get anywhere with anything.

...

Happy Birthday, little book. You dream come true, you.

And many more.

GGC

In lieu of dreams and their anniversaries, and "wrong fits" being right on and me going on tangents like crazy, I'd like you to tell me what you're doing today to further your dream? Whether it be writing a book, screenplay, studying french, learning to tap dance or start a photography business, opening an Etsy store to sell your homemade jewelry, fighting for a cause...

One of you will be picked at random to win a First Act Acoustic Guitar, a signed copy of Rockabye and a year of free GGC adspace for your product, Etsy store or cause. Thank you for supporting this blog and my book and everything else. Thank you for always being real.

You rock.

...

Congratulations to the lovely Heather for winning all of the goodies above. And thanks to all of you for your words and support and loveliness per always.

349 comments:

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Shoshanah | 4:48 PM

I'd watch you on Oprah Rebecca! I and bought you book last year and loved it!

Meredith | 4:48 PM

Oh, Rebecca, you are a wonderful mother. Every post is dripping with love for your children. You write in a way that your children will be proud of when they are older and reading these words. You aren't a down the middle mom because you are so far above the middle that you can't even see it. Your blog has given me so much inspriration as a young mother. Thank you for everything.

*mary* | 4:49 PM

Wrong fit?! So many people identify so strongly with what you write on this blog. I know I do.

Oprah's people- you dropped the ball, big time! By next year this time it will be YOU turning down Oprah! ;)

Amy | 4:49 PM

I'm not a mommy, but I totally hear ya. I'm a teacher, and sometimes, it's hard to fit in among older, wiser, more traditional teachers. I'm not always the "best fit" in the staff lounge, but I always try to be the best fit for the kids I'm privileged to teach. I think "wrong fits" are everywhere.

So, today to further my dream of being my own best fit, I'm baking bread for the first time, going to the gym even though I don't want to and writing, writing, writing...while watching ANTM. Because that's who I am :)

Thank you for the gift you are to the world.

Stephanie | 4:51 PM

Rebecca, you are an inspiration. Beautiful post. I can't wait to read your book and pass it along to my friend (a young mother) as inspiration. If I am half the mother you are someday, I'll be proud. Thanks for sharing your story!

Beth in SF | 4:51 PM

Screw Oprah. The down-to-earth ladies don't watch her anyway. You are right, there need to be some more positive and realistic mother figures in the media. I wrote a whole paper about this in college. And I wasn't even a mother back then!

P.S. I read Rockabye and it was COMPLETELY. LOVELY. I will gladly go out and get future books of yours.

gypsy | 4:52 PM

I'll have you know I once went on a yearlong campaign to get on the Oprah show. I wrote twelve letters, each featuring a different reason I would be excellent to feature. I never heard from her Oprahness.

About my dream: I lost track of what it is/was a couple of years ago when I quit teaching after a 10year career - which I had thought was my dream. And maybe then, it was.

Now, I'm starting to write not only on my personal blog but on my community's online rag, Lawrence.com, about my new passion (besides my pregnancy and upcoming baby) - food. I'm The Flying Fork, and I'm damn proud of it - small start that it is.

andrea | 4:55 PM

I can't tell you how much I hope you get a show! We need you and your unique perspective on motherhood!

Today in between workin the day job I'm painting more "Little Boxes" paintings for my etsy shop andreashear.etsy.com . and sketching in my moleskine and dreaming of painting all day.

Sarah | 4:59 PM

I think your realness makes you so much more relatiable than so many "average" moms I really enjoy your blog and need to get my hands on your book

Hope | 4:59 PM

You rock! Don't ever change for the man. =)

As for my dream: I always wanted to be a foster or adoptive Mom. It always scared me crapless, but March 18th a beautiful little 2 year old boy was dropped (almost literally) on my doorstep.

We have had many, many ups and downs but I am so glad I chased this dream. I feel like I'm doing something worthy and life-giving.

I'm not your 'average' mom either, and I'm glad.

Summer | 5:02 PM

Girl, at least you were considered! My invite accidentally got sent to Dooce. ;-)

My dream has always been to write. To influence people, to make them feel better, inspired, filled with hope and laughter. And then I created my blog. And while I may not have reached that status of other high and mighty bloggers, even that one comment that tells me I made a difference to them....that's the comment that shows me my dream is coming true.

Still an Oprah invite, interview, or book consideration would be lovely as well.

Just being honest.

krista | 5:05 PM

it's kind of weird to say i have much the same dream as yours. because it seems very stalkerish. although, i suppose it would be more weird to NOT say it. i'm an out of work actress, an unpublished writer, an unpaid artist.
i've got scripts partly written, auditions i didn't book, things just waiting to be made and sold on etsy.
my big dream?
i own my own storefront full of wares handmade my local la artists (complete with art gallery) and i'm hard at work on my own show/movie that i've written and produced and am allowed to act in.
*sigh*
right now i'm making curry split pea soup to feed myself and my baby cause we're a little under the weather.
small dreams for now.

((i just reread my comment and it sounds so motherflipping self-indulgent and whiny...not meant to be. stupid flu. i'm tempted to delete but i'm not going to. ))

Stacey | 5:05 PM

Today, like every day, I brought my 10-month-old daughter to work, because I refuse to compromise my law career for the preciously short baby moments, and I'm lucky enough not to have to make the choice. I may have to work ten hours in order to bill seven, but to be graced with her presence all day is worth it.
I too am sick of media's attempts to pander to the every-mom, while being oblivious to the fact that the concept of the every-mom is insulting. Thank you for this post, and for your honest voice.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:06 PM

Amazing!

And re: the average mom? I don't think she exists. I think every mother is complex and fucked up and interesting and odd and popular and everything else.

MOM is not an adjective, contrary to what the media suggests.

Sarah | 5:12 PM

Holy crap - you were considered for Oprah? I'd say that deserves a drink right there. I am going to toast to you tonight when I celebrate finishing yet another school project.

I have been meaning to order your book from Amazon for weeks and I just added it to my order and hit order now... I can't wait to read it.

I'm not a mom, but I guarantee that you're more real than any khaki mom they stick on Oprah anyways.

My dream? Finding a job now that my college graduation is only... a month and a day away. Today I got a great contact and so my goal is to e-mail her TONIGHT!

Congrats on Rockabye's 1st birthday and no matter what Oprah says I know there are hundreds (thousands?) of women who read your site each day (including me) who think you are pretty damn awesome. You go girl!!

Deidre | 5:13 PM

I think you're a totally relatable mom!

I am not a mom...


To further my dreams today I am going to the library to research for an essay...On science media, I want to be a science writer. It's the only way I know to how educate people on climate change.

Heather | 5:15 PM

Congrats again on the book.

You would have been so great on Oprah. And I hope you get your show in the air because all the ones you mentioned really suck. Especially In the Motherhood. Ugh.

I have two current dreams - an etsy shop and a photography business. I need to learn a lot more before I am ready for the latter, but for the former i just need some space to work in our next house. We have to move in the next month, so I am going to commit to myself to trying to find a place with room for me to work on things. For the etsy store. Because that sounds like to much fun to me. I need to do more things that really make me feel alive...

As for always being real, you set the bar on that one.

CaressaRenae | 5:18 PM

My side business (baking), after all these years of dreaming, is slowly, slowly, slowly picking up steam. And it's wonderful. And if it keeps up, I'm sure it will scare me to death ...

Jenna | 5:20 PM

I don't relate to a lot of other mothers, or the mothers presented to me on TV. "In the Motherhood" is an awful disappointment, and the Oprah episode made me ill because it presented the exact opposite of the mother I'm proud to be, like a Jessica Simpson movie. (I initially wrote "bad Jessica Simpson movie" before i realized it was redundant.)

Who do I relate to? YOU. I was lucky to find your blog through dooce.com when my nine month old was born, and it keeps me going every day. You're a mom like me, and I think I'm a pretty darn good one, and my happy, organic baby tells me it's so just like the pictures of Archer and Fable do. So keep knocking, someone has to have a sense of reality and I can't wait to see what you come up with!

You're amazing at what you do. Keep it up.

jmoetruden. | 5:27 PM

Today I told my boss that although they jacked all of my PTO for both 2008 and 2009 to cover a fraction of my maternity leave; I can't come back fulltime. I had a baby because I want to raise a baby and if I was away from her the majority of the week, I shouldn't of had the baby in the first place. Although we could use my fulltime pay, I offered to work a max of 28 hours/week... or I walk. Thank god she accepted. Thank god. My dream? To achieve balance. I believe today was one step in that direction.

LauraLu Coastie | 5:30 PM

I have been reading your blog for a few months, I was going through some things. I was a new breastfeeding mother in the Coast Guard, working with a bunch of horrible cruel men. They didn't get me, but reading your blog made me feel, like I was normal. My baby is now 10 months and we did not fit into any play group mold, but we are both happy and healthy so that is what matters. And I am about to advance in my career so that means I must have done something else right. Or they had a female quota to fill! hahaha

Katy | 5:32 PM

Wow, thanks for the lament. It is nice to hear an honest, authentic person in the era of photoshopped everything. It is also nice to hear about perseverance, when in reality it makes me want to crawl back under the covers and hide.

As far as furthering my dreams, I'm realizing that the people that succeed aren't that different from me, and don't listen when my critical self tells me that I'm nuts for thinking I can hang with the "pros." That and keeping up with really good friends that'll tell me things straight up.

Peace!

Dena | 5:33 PM

Let's be honest, I don't watch Oprah for the same reason they decided not to have you join them. Because they are to mainstream. You don't speak to the average middle american mom, but you do speak to a whole generation of young urban mothers (yum!).

Thanks for being different and not average.

My dream? That's easy, to just be able to work full-time in Museum Education again. It's hard being on the cutting edge of a new generation of museum workers (folks who want to share the amazing world with everyone!) and constantly being denied by the baby boom generation. womp womp.

Ashley | 5:34 PM

You should have been on Oprah. And what does she know? She doesn't have kids.

My dreams have been put away for a while. But they are there, waiting on me to finish this very important job I have of raising tiny ones to be self-sufficient. So that is how I furthered my dreams. One more day toward my children being independent, one more task or skill learned for them to function in this crazy world. When that's done, maybe I'll take up a hobby. And turn that hobby into a lifestyle. Or maybe not. That's the beauty of it. I can do whatever I want, when THEY are done needing me.

Annika | 5:36 PM

I have three big dreams and so many small ones. And what I am doing is letting one of my dreams go. Not forever, but it is moving to the back burner. Even though it's the one that's a potential money-maker. Because having a family can't wait, and making things won't wait, so writing has to.

Shelley Greenberg | 5:44 PM

Rebecca, you are an inspiration. I don't have kids yet, but when I do, YOU'RE the kind of Mom I want to be.

About the dream, I feel like I've kind of lost my dream. I used to see it sitting there on the horizon, waving and grinning at me. But now it's kind of hopped over the edge and I'm not quite sure where it's gone - or if it's even worth chasing anymore. But what I'm doing is talking to someone, and getting some help putting my head on straight. So I guess that's what I'm doing to further my dream - taking care of myself. And I'm proud of that.

Tabs | 5:46 PM

I don't know what I'm doing even commenting. But here goes.

I've lost so many dreams in my short 25 years because of this, that, and the other. I thought, in the end, that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and just procreate to my heart's content.

I have a six week old son now, and I lost my job to have him. I'm struggling with postpartum depression, a lack of support, and an ongoing migraine from Hell. I live in a half-renovated, half-construction-zone home in a shady part of the town I vowed to leave behind me after high school, then college ... maybe when the baby is older? Who knows. I have four cats and a dog because I can't say no to a sweet face in need, though that means my husband and I often go without to be able to feed them and the baby. I have a useless degree in a crappy economy in one of the top five fastest dying cities in America, according to Forbes Magazine. I watch my mom, my husband, my friends work dead-end jobs they hate for the money to stay afloat and think, there for but grace go I while I feel guilty for not "manning up" and dooming myself to the same. And I realize I've forgotten how to dream past getting out of bed each morning.

I've given up on dreaming for anything but to look at my son and feel that overwhelming love everyone expects me to. I dream of taking this wrecked and ravaged body back to some state that my husband might look at twice before passing out from exhaustion. I dream of having enough money to go grocery shopping for more than milk, ramen, and formula. I dream of not bursting into tears everyday. And I dream of finally making a life for myself on my terms, because at this point, doing anything less very well may kill me.

So I've begun to apply to grad school. And I've finally filed for bankruptcy. Nothing glamorous or uplifting here. Just steps I pray are in the right direction.

Me | 5:48 PM

First time commenter here, been reading since you had Fable. (side story: my mom had been reading you for a while and told me about this gorgeous baby recently born and showed me your site, I've been hooked ever since!) anyway, I think moms like you are MORE relatable... you tell it like it is, you don't sugarcoat. I find that to be sooo much more relatable and APPEALING than someone 'down the middle'... which I take to mean, stay at home mom, possible homeschooler, lots of closeted frustration and resentment... kids always look perfect, she looks perfect etc. I could be wrong, but that's my take.)

I recently purchased your book, I can't wait to give it a read!

brittany | 5:49 PM

What I am doing today is finishing my major paper to finally (hopefully!!) finish my nursing masters after taking a year off to spend time with my amazing mother as she died. So, I guess my dream is to finish my paper and dedicate it to her.

Just wanted to comment and say that your writing is wonderful and your love for your children justs jumps of the page. Good luck with your script!

Amelia Sprout | 5:55 PM

Last year when your book came out my daughter had just turned 1, and even though I am married, and she was planned, and I work in an office, it hit home.

I'd watch a show like that religiously. I don't get why quirky doesn't fly the way it should, especially when it comes to portraying women. Heck, if Big Bang Theory can work, why not one for moms that is similarly off beat.

I'm not doing much for my dreams, other than doing everything I can to make sure my daughter is independent and strong. The job is a job, a means to an ends right now. It pays the bills and keeps me occupied so I can be the best mom I can. Including taking more time for me (yay BlogHer) and my loves.

A | 6:03 PM

Honestly? Kinda glad you "didn't fit" on oprah. Though, I indulge in a show or two weekly, I find Oprah and her subjects largely unrelatable. Your blog on the other hand? Totally get it.
Your lack of appearance on O equals validation in real mom world.

Keep it real!

Amanda | 6:04 PM

I just want to say I so wish you were on that ep of Oprah. That would have rocked!

Karen, Scott, and Jared | 6:04 PM

Interesting about the Oprah thing because when I saw the commercials for that episode, I seriously assumed you would be on it. Duh. It mentioned "favorite mommy bloggers", and that is totally YOU! I even thought, wow, she's really kept this thing a secret from us readers! She never mentioned she'd be on Oprah! So, just wanted to let you know that I missed you on the show. I kept waiting and waiting for you to come on...

erica | 6:05 PM

I love your blog...I am a HUGE fan!

My dream has always been to be a mother. A cool mother. I want to keep my long hair, and continue to wear makeup and low-rise jeans.

I have worried that motherhood would change me to the point that I don't recognize myself anymore. That being said, it is still my dream.

If your post has taught me anything it's that no mother is perfect, all mothers wonder if what they are doing is right for their babe, change is inevitable, and sometimes necessary, and that they only way to live is to live authentic.

Thanks for your posts!

Now, I have to go find my husband and get busy.

mal | 6:07 PM

I'm learning to play the fiddle..something I've wanted to do for a long time. Thanks for reminding me that right isn't always, and sometimes getting what you want feels different than you think....

BlossomingSoul | 6:11 PM

Love, love, love your blog. Oprah missed out.

Off to buy your book for my pregnant best friend- you remind me of her in so many ways!

Abby Johns | 6:13 PM

My honest-to-goodness dream? FAMILY.

I drifted around in college, from one major to another, until I decided it wasn't for me. And then it hit me like a brick wall--I couldn't find a career that interested me because 'mommy' wasn't a major they offered.

So now I spend my days focused on my daughter and looking for ways to make this house run more smoothly. Once I have all the children and they are all out of the house, then I feel like I will discover a secondary dream, and I will pursue it at that time. Until then, I love this thing called mothering.

Besides, my boss is the best. She drools a lot, but that's alright with me.

itslikeflying | 6:14 PM

I love reading your blog(s). Your kids are beautiful, and I think you are fabulous and admirable mother, and Oprah doesn't know what she's missing by passing on you.

As for my dream... I'm 21 and a college senior, and I'll graduate a month and a day from today. I want to become a teacher; that's my dream. It's harder than I ever thought I could be (getting a teaching job, though the same could be said for teaching), and I'm competing with the other 15,000 new graduates with teaching degrees in the state in which I go to school. Today, I planned a lesson to teach to the struggling reader I tutor. I'm also preparing for an interview I have on Saturday with an inner city school district. That job would be nearly perfect...not far from my parents, in a city I love. So today, though it's a long shot, I'm keeping hope in my heart and a smile on my face and remembering how passionate I am about teaching in the hopes that all of this translates to my interviewers on Saturday and they decide to offer me a job.

Margaret B | 6:18 PM

Today, to further my dream, I slowed WAY down on my sugar intake, as per midwife's instructions. Yup, I'm 31 weeks pregnant with my baby boy.

I also went to class, one more class on the road to get my Masters in Counseling. So I can learn how to help people, and become a better friend and mother.

Bether | 6:20 PM

I'm not a mother, but I'm planning to work with them. I'm pursuing my dream by training to become a doula (labor assistant), even though it already means reducing my job my one day a week, and will involve more reduction in pay before I start making money. Scary!

tlr | 6:28 PM

I love your blog because it is different. You are honest, funny, intelligent and a great writer. I check several times a day to see if you've updated then I question how you can with 2 children.
I also love your photography of the children - they are beautiful and it is obvious how much you love them. I have a 3 yr old son and a 5 1/2 mth old girl and your stories/videos put my feeble attempts at photos to shame.
Anyway, your gutsiness and honesty about setbacks just encourage me more to pursue my dreams - thank you!!! I have made a "dream list" and have actually crossed some things off including working from home with my 2 children. My next dream is to complete a marathon (being a non-runner).
Thank you for being you and sharing yourself with us! Don't change a thing.

Katie | 6:28 PM

Oprah is merely the creation of a public relations specialist. She isn't a real person. She's a conglomeration of ideas that sell to the masses. It's like being turned down by Wal-Mart.

Today, I am advancing my dream by getting my medical degree and becoming an OB/Gyn. I've always loved women's health and educating women. I could not be more excited to spend my life and career educating them about their bodies and sharing some of the most amazing days of their lives with them. It's hard some days, as I am 29, have never had a "real" job, have delayed marriage and having kids, and feel like I've postponed life while all my peers go on with living it. But when I delivered my first baby on my own 3 months ago, I knew it was all going to be so amazingly worth it. I've still got another year of school, but it's flying by!

Shannon | 6:29 PM

To make my dream come true, I'm writing a book. My dream - to fix my marriage, to understand my husband, to find a way to help him heal from something that happened a long time ago, something that should never happen to anyone, something that stands firmly between him and love. So I am writing this book for him, for him to see it wasn't his fault, he wasn't responsible, it was a choice someone else made.

Congratulations on your success - with books, with kids, with marriage, with life in general. You are an inspiration and, often, just the kick in the ass I need to get moving! :) Thanks for all you do, and all you are.

Anonymous | 6:29 PM

i would like to tell you, when i watched that episode of oprah i was hoping you would be on it. i'm not a mother yet, but just so you know, you are the kind of mother i would like to "fit" in with!
-anni

Aveleigh | 6:30 PM

If I'm ever a mother, I will draw a lot more inspiration from you than most. I love that your family and your dreams are equally important to you.

My dream is to make art accessible to everyone and open up the creative potential in anyone who desires it. At the moment, I'm working toward that goal by finishing my last two university credits, volunteering at an artist village in South Korea, and living, working, and traveling through Asia.

amyinbc | 6:36 PM

Today I worked darn hard in my garden which I love! Unlike housework or cooking or any of the other non-parenting tasks I do around here the results are sooo satisfying and rewarding.

You go girl!

Josie | 6:41 PM

You are one of the most relateable moms I "know." And I love your book. Oprah missed out.

The dream we are working on is owning an organic farm preferably in a decent school district for my daughter. Its a tricky one- but I believe.

Elly | 6:42 PM

About a year and a bit ago me and my BFF started a web design business. It exists today, still, but it doesn't support us yet, which IS the goal, the dream. The problem is we both work full time at other jobs, and well, I have this problem about giving sites away for free.

I tend to hear any sob story (particularly with charities) and offer my services for free. We put our name on it for good advertising, something to add to our portfolio. But we don't make money off it. And often I feel horrible that we charge. We charged a friend half price for a site we did, and I still feel like that was too much money.

I think trying to come to terms with charging for what we do, giving weight to our designs and saying yes it IS worth that much money is my problem. It's a very very odd place to be.

alli magee | 6:48 PM

I love your reflections on motherhood. They feel very authentic, gritty and portray a tender yet strong heart.

I have been selling handmade thingy's on my etsy shop for just over a year ( www.steenink.etsy.com . Things got very waylaid when my little girl came along, but my dream is to be able to make a little extra (and well needed) money at being creative, enabling me to stay at home with ms molly.

Keep sharing!

cam | 6:54 PM

Juno's also the only on-screen mom I've ever identified with, and who wants to be on Oprah anyway? What does Oprah know about real-life moms? Apparently very little.

Tiffany | 7:04 PM

There is no "right fit" when it comes to moms either. No two women are exactly the same, raise their children the same etc. Who needs Oprah anyways? As far as pursuing a dream? I started so young I am not really sure what my dream is anymore. I know I'm a wife and a mommy, but as for me? I couldn't tell you.

And I think you rock!

Karen Sugarpants | 7:07 PM

You're probably the wrong fit because you don't act like motherhood is a huge pain in the ass. You adore it, have fallen into it, let it envelop you. You're raw, honest, and not neurotic enough for drive-by tv. I'd take that as a huge compliment!
*Not all the moms on that show were negative but the show leaned that way - I'm not dogging on anyone that went on Oprah, I'm just saying there's a reason they pick certain people for shows like that. See also: Survivor.*

Megan | 7:09 PM

No, you rock!

I loved your book and love the blog as well. Your perspective on motherhood really makes me feel less alone, as I don't fit "in the middle" either.

Keep on, keeping on, lady. It will happen for you, the evidence is right here in your comments. We all want to see it, and studios give what the people want (in theory).

Sending good vibes...

Haley | 7:12 PM

Nothing... I'm not doing anything to further my dream and that's something I'm going to change. First I have to figure out what my dream is, but that you for being an inspiration and showing people that dreams don't have to just be dreams. : )

And my word verification is "feckho".. weeeird.

wendy | 7:21 PM

Like alot of others who've commented, I'm in school. I'm writing a dissertation about high school geometry classrooms and what space (physical, mental, emotional, social) they open for teenagers. I dream of helping kids see themselves as people who can do math and supporting them in shaping themselves and their dreams.
So much of school is inauthentic, we need to focus on proving authentic educational experiences for our children.
Thank you for writing.

Andrea | 7:22 PM

Hey and hello Rebecca! Long-time reader and first-time commenter just wanting to say congrats on the one-year anniversary of Rockabye. I absolutely love it!

Today I'm furthering my dream the same way I do every other day- by preparing for auditions, and teaching acting to kids. I'm an actress living and working in Detroit, and am committed to lifting up what some call a "dying city" through art. By being the best actress, director, writer, stage manager, and designer I know how to be, I want to show the people who've given up on this city that there is LIFE here. That there is creation here. That there are reasons to stay, to hope, to build a better future among the falling-apart buildings and vacant lots. And I'm trying to teach a new generation of Detroit kids how theatre frees the spirit, and how they can be a part of it, too. People used to hear that I'm an actress and ask me when I was planning my big move to L.A. or New York. But the truth is, my dream is to create beauty in a broken place, and to teach others to do it, too.

Thanks for your writing, Rebecca. I always look forward to it.

-Andrea

Kelly | 7:27 PM

Today.... I went to a nearby hospital to advocate for a rape victim. I volunteer at a Rape Crisis Center (MOCSA) atleast 10 days/nights a month... I typically don't get called, but today I did. And it was a rough call to be on. It always is.

tam | 7:29 PM

I would have been fucking terrified if I saw you on Oprah. Not that I'm afraid of the main-stream coming in my direction per se, but would be a sign of the apocalypse. You deserve the best medium for your message. I do want everyone in the world to hear what you have to say. There will be other ways.

In order to see my dreams come true... I'm in school and having my second child. Trying to build my community. Align myself with allies. Find my voice (not easy).

I'm working toward degrees that will empower me to make a big difference in the lives of individuals, and will give me a lot of options to optimize work time with family time.

I'm having a really hard time balancing stress of school with family life, and so I'm consciously reminding myself of the things that I've accomplished that bring me joy.

Kira Leigh | 7:33 PM

I am applying to zoo jobs like crazy (as evidenced by my recent post on my blog). I am baking and selling what I bake. I am making purses and jewelry and putting them on Etsy and my other blog, and sometimes, at night, I curl up into a little ball and zone out, because I don't know if I can ever do it all.

beyond | 7:36 PM

fable is beautiful. i hope you take her to your business meetings...

Heather | 7:37 PM

Rebecca, I think your thoughts and insights about parenting and motherhood are so honest, but fundamentally kind and positive, even when you acknowlege what is difficult and challenging about parenthood, mothering, partnering up, etc. As for Oprah, how stupid of them not to invite you--here's hoping that another, better opportunity is on the horizon for you.

Amy Frazier | 7:41 PM

Hey cool timing with a post on furthering your goals and dreams. I'm actually right smack in the middle of trying to start up a photography business (yes, while trying to raise a 3-year-old and an 11-month-old. I am crazy!) It is thrilling and scary and wonderful all at the same time. I love it and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than where I am in my life right now. What am I doing right this minute? I'm typing on my shiny new iMac I bought for my business while researching an upgrade for my camera. This is happening and I'm just along for the ride! Thanks for inspiration tonight. I get frustrated with the slowness of it all and the pitfalls. It's nice to know others have gone through it and come out the other end. And with a fancy book deal and everything. Congrats on the one-year bookiversary!

Jen | 7:43 PM

I'm actually going to try my ass off to be a mom. I want to have a baby in a year. I'm not pregnant yet, but scheduled sex be damned, me and the hubby will try - even if we have to go to the doctor for "help". It's time to fill the empty rooms in the house we bought almost exactly one year ago. Happy Birthday to our first HOME together. Now, let's get to the baby makin'!

Sara | 7:44 PM

My dream is having children, filling our log house on the lake with a big noisy messy family.

My baby-making equipment, however, staunchly refuses. S-T-A-U-N-C-H. There's nothing worse, I'm telling you.

So I started going into my community instead. Finding the lonely mothers in the forgotten neighborhoods, the kids labeled "at-risk" when no one ever says what exactly they're "at-risk" for.

And we're starting a free non-profit day camp at our log house on the lake, filling it with a bigger, noisier, messier family. It is not the lesser of two dreams, but it does make the loss of the first dream hurt less.

Leslie | 7:45 PM

What am I doing to further my dreams?

I'm just writing and taking pictures. And growing a little baby boy.

The first two may never lead to fame or fortune, but I think I'm finally okay with that. For me, it really is about leading an authentic life and not trying to force what I do into some kind of mold.

And being pregnant, while sucking in many regards, really is a dream come true for me. One I've wanted my whole life.

foodiemama | 7:49 PM

first off- oprah sucks anyway, gah I can't stand her. I think anyone who wants real avoids her anyway. I think you are awesome and your grade A happy kids have it written all over their adorable faces.

my dream/goals right now: I am reading all the classics now and plan on teaching from those when I begin home schooling this year. Just started East of Eden. I plan to travel with Gus based on my reads! oh, and I am seriously considering doing something with my food esp. homemade pizzas... don't know how but must!

Maya | 7:51 PM

First of all- it was awesome meeting you yesterday my fellow gemini-rooster.

I think that it is amazing that you made your dream a reality. I mean we all talk about it... but how many of us actually do it?

I work for a media company (who shall remain namesless here) that I have ALWAYS wanted to work for. I may not be in the area I want to be in right now, but it's a step in the right direction.

BTW- Tell Soleil Moon Frye I say "what up" (you should totally talk to her!)

Weirdo Mom | 7:55 PM

Boy, did they ever make a mistake! You are the mom who is most like me. I so admire your honesty and bravery of telling it like it is.

I haven't yet seen another mommy blog where they admit *gasp* monogamy is hard. Or marriage. Or the host of other things, like being a young mom, or an outsider mom.

Ok, enough ego stroking -- my hand is getting tired.

My dream, is to be a writer. I'm taking baby steps. I told a friend of mine last week, that I was just going to start calling myself a writer. And then write something every day.

I have done that. Every day, I've written something, whether it be a blog, lyrics or poetry. Today I was researching publishing. Soon I have plans to spruce up some older writings and send them out to see if I can get them published.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Amy | 7:56 PM

I read your book and devored your book. I had never read a book about a mother that I could relate to.

Everyone else was "find perfect guy, have huge wedding 10 years later Baby!"

No, just not me.
It is nice knowing there is woman out there who know how I feel.

Sandi | 8:04 PM

I'm going to post and then return to read all the other comments. I am kinda in the same boat as you. We were snatched up by TV producers to be reality TV stars. BUT Network after Network is turing away from us. We are too normal. We are too everyday, just a boring family of 14 kids. Octomom took the rug right out from under us. I thought we had something to share, with all the adoptions and all the special needs that we have in this house. But, cute people from Orange County have to act like the housewives in Orange County. Large families on TV need to be extreme in something, multiples, religion, organic food. We just don't fit the mold. We are TOO NORMAL!
So I totally get the "just don't fit the mold" It sucks!

I am loving sharing my story through my blog and maybe someday I will write a book about my insane journey, but I would hate to hear it's nothing special and or that we are just another family. I think we are all pretty damn special. EVERY DAMN FAMILY OUT THERE! I don't care how many kids we have, or how many times we've been married, or how much or how little money we have. We all have a story to share. I loved yours! LOVED IT! I am a 37 year old mother of 14. I would hope that I'm as big a part of your audience as the 21 year old city girl. Your story inspired me and I have passed your book around 3 times. I love it.

I rambled on too long. I love you, I love your blog. YOU are amazing!

growingupartists | 8:06 PM

Well, I didn't realize. I thought the show really let women down, so be glad you weren't a part of it. If only... If only... If only...

(click, click)

Here's what I thought, not please tell me where I fit in.

http://equine-solstice-love.blogspot.com/2009/04/todays-oprah.html

missbeegail | 8:08 PM

Today I taught my third class in the first ever college course I am teaching. On step closer to being a college professor. This dream sure is taking a while.

I don't watch Oprah but I do read your blog, so keeping up the good work!

Cass | 8:08 PM

I'm more of a lurker around here but sometime I'll change that. As for "the wrong fit" I have to say a big fat "whatever" to that. You are a great example of what the today's mom is, you do everything as best as you know how, have impeccable style (as does Fable) and manage to do it all. I'd definitely watch your show if it gets picked up.

And btw I went to pick up your book the other week at my local B&N and they told me they were out of stock and I'd have to special order it. Maybe I should check out Borders instead. :-)

learning | 8:13 PM

I'm working toward a dream of self-employment, by collaborating with my best friends to launch the photography business we've envisioned for years. I'm the graphic designer/image editor/stylist, and loving it. It means I work every evening and most of the weekend (since I have a 9.5 hour/day Mon-Fri job to pay the bills), but I believe in and enjoy the work, and have to have faith that it will pay off down the road.

I have a gaggle of dreams to tend to when the hours permit (and even if they don't), and your words inspire me daily.

Desiree Fawn | 8:14 PM

Fit shmit!

You go with EVERYTHING you wonderful woman you ^_^

Sara | 8:14 PM

You're not middle of the road, but that makes you wonderful, inviting and real.

My dream is to be a mom... which I don't really think I can do much to further, besides getting myself knocked up. Anyway, Your book is awesome. I loved it.

Pam | 8:28 PM

Today I bought the sprout some second hand pants and tops, I clipped coupons for this weeks grocery trip, and walked to the local fruit market for veggies and fruits to home make some baby food. Yup, I make ends meet by home making, sewing, walking and doing what ever I can to save money so I can live my dream of being a stay at home Mama! At least till they start school! You feckin Rock too Mama!

vintageglamurrr | 8:28 PM

You are an amazing writer, mother, and woman. You are the right fit to be my mommy role model. Thank you for your blog.

As far as dreams go, mine is to see a cure for Cystic Fibrosis. We found out my daughter has it after an emergency surgery shortly after her birth. She's two now, and ever since I've dedicated myself to raising money for a cure. My family hosts BBQ's, charity dinners, bake sales, rummage sales, car washes, everything we can think of. We donate all the proceeds to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and hope through the funds raised a cure will be found within our lifetime.

My biggest dream is that my daughter can grow up and fulfill all of her dreams.

Anonymous | 8:29 PM

Hi Rebecca. I'm a long time reader and a first time commenter. I love checking your blog. You are an amazing writer, parent, and woman. Thank you for always sharing.

I decided to comment because I've been working really hard for my dream lately. My dream is giving the underprivileged dreams. I am a teacher in an extremely poor area where my students come face to face with gang violence, abuse, and hunger every day. The motivational phrase "you can be anything you want to be, even president" does not fit in an area that is extremely affected by generational poverty. I work to not only teach reading, but to instill hope. To let students know that there are right and hopeful paths out there. If only one of my students fall asleep at night with their last thought being, "I really am good at something" I feel that my dream is met.

Thanks,
Melanie

Miss Grace | 8:30 PM

Very boring, yet true: Today I'm continuing to work full time at a pretty-good-but-not-great job because I'm working my butt off to pay off all my debt so that someday I can work less than full time. I know.

Gina | 8:33 PM

I'm getting married day after tomorrow. We've been living together for nearly 8 years and our relationship came with a no kids/no marriage clause but something has happened and now we went to try to have a baby, even though I'm already 41. So that's my dream right now. To have a baby, and make a living working from home writing (even though I'm not a writer, I'm a healthcare administrator) and do all sorts of hippie shit like making babyfood and baby clothes and teach my baby (girl) how to be the most awesome person on the planet.

Thank you for the constant inspiration.

gina

Maggie | 8:40 PM

Dude, fuck those Oprah producers. You are a powerful woman and clearly a pretty amazing mom. You're certainly right down the middle of what I hope to be as a mother: straightforward, fun, open, not overprotective or anxious, and still very confident with your own sense of self beyond and apart from your two beautiful children. (Seriously, you may have the most beautiful daughter in the history of the world. Every time I see her picture, I have to smile.)
Anyway, this post is supposed to be about how I'm following my bliss, despite it seeming to be the right "fit" or not.

I am a singer.
The simple act of writing that sentence and having the conviction and commitment to make it true is what I'm doing for my dreams. When I graduated, I left music. I felt overwhelmed and trapped and unsure about what I really wanted. I got married, moved to a new city and tried to be a person who did not first and foremost identify herself as a musician. I just wanted to see what it would be like, to see if I could still feel whole. Turns out, after two years away, I couldn't.
So I'm leaving my job, moving away from my husband for two years to pursue a masters in vocal performance in another state. I'm giddy and confident and terrified and feeling more motivated and fulfilled than I've felt in a long time.
So even though my worst inner voices have kept up a steady stream of doubt and self-criticism (you're not good enough to perform you're too fat you're not outgoing enough to network you'll bring your little family to financial ruin you'll destroy your marriage you're abandoning your REAL life this is the worst mistake you've ever made....), I'm striding forward with determination to own my future. I may fail. But even if I do, I will know that I didn't hold anything back. I can be proud of that.

Kay | 8:40 PM

See, that's why I keep reading (and lurking). You're real - not edited, not photoshopped, just honest, and someone I could imagine actually having a conversation with. I kept meaning to come back and comment on the Outsider Inside Her post because it hit so close to home... but I tend to stay silent, figuring what can I possibly add to the dozens of comments already posted?
And that's what I'm doing to further my dream of writing... I'm actually writing. At my blog, commenting on others, even (gasp) submitting something for an anthology. No clue if any of it will turn into something bigger or not - but just taking that step? It's a great feeling.

thecitycradle | 8:41 PM

I thoroughly enjoyed your book and although we may be on different sides of some middle line issues your story is inspiring and a great encouragement as a new mom!

Working on a book of my own but I am continually getting sidetracked by these 2 amazing new beings in my life. I am starting to think maybe they will just be my project for awhile:) Now that wouldn't be so bad... would it?!?

Karen | 8:43 PM

I think your show would be kind of like 'Dharma and Greg' without the exaggerated traits of their parents, and with babies, of course!

Today I continued on my path of discovery... I want to decide if I should become a teacher at age, gasp, 42. I went to my 6th grade classes today where I volunteer, and could not stop smiling while I watched and helped these incredible, irritating, smart, smart-alecky, etc. kids. I'm just testing the waters, and I have an increased sense of ~awe~ for what teachers do every day.

Noob Mommy | 8:44 PM

Thank you for saying what should be said! It is very hard to relate to TV/Movie moms...and yes, I also related to Juno... until she gave her baby away. I was pregnant at the time watching the movie in theaters... but still loved it for coming close enough.

sunT | 8:46 PM

thanks not trying to fit into. the "mommy mold". oh wait! you do because we ARENT all down the middle mommies.
i have to say you are inspiring and i love your blog! i actually blogged about that a couple says ago!
thanks thanks thanks for keeping it real!!!!!

alissa | 8:59 PM

I have been reading your blog for such a wonderfully long time. You are, hands down, my favorite blogger. I rarely comment as my hands are full nursing my twins more often than not or my 7 year old is telling me about his dream (to work at the San Diego Zoo). As everyone else has said, you are a wonderful mother and I love you just the way you are!

My dream? So many...expand my postpartum doula business, teach more infant massage lessons, have a baby photography business, have just one hour a day to sew...but really, my biggest dream is to have more children and to be able to soak up every minute with them. (sounds so cheesy, but I'm sure you understand ;)

Jess | 9:03 PM

So I started out in Corporate America 10 years ago. Did Well. Made Lots of Money. THEN GOT LAID OFF.

That was my start - and it damn well is not my end. It was a 'wrong fit'.

My 'right fit' is currently in a state of morph. I don't know what it will end up being, but I know I will own it.

I'm finally not scared of it.

That's right world. Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm comin' to getcha.

Kristy | 9:03 PM

I am typically a lurker, but this post came at just the right time. I'm dealing with the "not fitting in" with my own child. I had my first child at 17 (currently am pregnant with my second at 24). All the moms pick up their kids in their shiny SUV (most drive a Lexus) and have their shit together. I can tell you my shit is not all together yet. I don't know how you ever get used to being a parent. I feel like I get "used" to one stage my daughter goes through and BAM! she's in the next stage.

Unfortunately, my sister is one of the heart-shaped-unburnt-cookie mothers. Her kids are impeccably behaved and dressed. All. The. Time. It is sickening. And disheartening. I can imagine her on one of those shows that depicts moms as perfect. While I relate more to Juno as well, I fear that Hollywood (or just mothers in general) won't ever come to the realization that there is no cookie cutter mom. Every mom has her own style which is why every child is their own individual. If we all were raised the same way we would all be the same. And I'm not sure about you, but that is a pretty damned boring world to me.

Thanks for making me feel less alone. That's hard to do. Especially with all these extra pregnancy hormones. :)

missELAINEeous | 9:03 PM

At the age of 18 I was offered a position at General Motors. I was fully enrolled to go to college, but I thought I could always go back to school, I could never go back to GM. I thought I was on top of the world... I was making $30 an hour and I had full health and dental coverage. And then reality set in. I was the youngest person in the plant and one of only six other women. I was working the less than ideal second and third shifts and I lost all my friends. I was never available to party and hang out. I lost my college years. After 6 grueling years being treated in ways no one should ever be treated, I accepted a big fatty buyout and I haven't looked back. I know work as a nanny to my nineteen month old little brother and am pursuing my dream of becoming an elementary teacher, even though people say I won't find a job in this state. It's my dream - I'm gonna do it.


Thanks for being you - you rock!

Tiana Barbaza-Cousineau | 9:08 PM

I'm not a mother. I could be, I suppose. I'm 15. I don't plan on it, not just yet. But I have gotten a taste of what's to come by reading "Mommy Blogs" and doing research for my novels.

I am making my dreams come true. I've always wanted to be a writer, and now I suppose I am. I wrote my first novel at age 12. It's about a 16yr old girl who becomes the guardian of a 9mth old baby girl. The 16yr old's life is turned upside down and she is forced into motherhood at a young age.
Now, 3 years and 4 more novels later, many people I've shared it with are telling me I should get it published. I think I will.

I'm also writing a screenplay about a teenage girl who dies, leaving her (secretly anorexic) younger sister to fend for herself in a hectic family. The dead girl is unable to move on and haunts the sister, who eventually begins to see her. The ghost girl tries to help the younger sister through the events that follow the ghost's death.
I'm writing the screenplay with my 13yr old sister, a girl plagued with a learning disability who was told (and who thought) she'd never be able to write anything coherent.

My dream, on top of being a writer, was to see my sister write her own story, something so amazing to experience. Now she's writing every day and can't leave the house without a notebook or two. Because, she says, I pushed her to ignore everything the school was telling her. And because she wanted to be just like me.

Now my 7yr old brother is starting the writing thing... he recently wrote his first song and sang it to me when I was in the hospital.

I guess the writing bug bit all of us. :)

Cindy | 9:10 PM

I'm vegan and my one year old daughter is vegan. That's my mission. To make the world a better place by allowing every creature to feel peace and safety. I want to teach my daughter that every life is valuable and no one has the right to condemn sentient beings to a life of suffering.

wimbittworld | 9:11 PM

I'd watch you on Oprah. I don't even watch Oprah! And I'd watch whatever show you got on the air. A real show. About real life. A show I could relate to.

You just keep trying. You can't have too many dreams come true.

As for my dream, I guess right now I just want a college education. I am working on it. But it is very slow going. I have the three kids, you know? And they need me more than the college does. So, I am doing it just a little at the time. I'm almost 39. I almost have 39 college hours. That's kinda funny to me.

Aisha | 9:17 PM

I am taking the steps to change my major so that I can pursue my passion - medicine. I'm eyeing the public health field (banana in one hand, condoms in the other and a pocketful of pamphlets on vaccines and what-not), but I'm letting myself stay open to the possibility of an actual pre-med pursuit. My family and friends all think I am better suited to journalism (or history, my twin degrees), but this is my passion and it makes me so excited to know that there is an actual job/degree for that sort of thing. I can return to history after I save the world.

I love your blog Rebecca! You're honesty is wonderful. :)

Susan Gibbs | 9:35 PM

Rebecca, I have to say, Oprah's loss.
I also dreamed of publishing a book and got a contract to write one last year. It will be coming out in the spring- if I can get it finished, that is.
My big dream was to raise sheep for their fiber and make a living from my yarn. Thanks to the internet that dream has also come true.

Martini Mom | 9:41 PM

First? Congratulations for even being in the running to appear on Oprah. That is huge and you should be proud.

Second? I hate Oprah. Honestly, I think that show is BOOOORing. So bigger congratulations for being too unique and interesting to make the Oprah cut.

Third? I knew one of those heart-shaped cookie mom's once. Turns out she stayed up all night baking batch after batch of those cookies until she had enough perfect ones to make a dozen. She made her dog sick feeding him all the ones with burnt edges. I'm not even kidding. She was not a happy lady. Me? I can't even cook those break-n-bake ones without burning them, and look how happy I am!

Lin | 9:41 PM

My dream is kind of coming true and I'm trying to feel like I deserve it to, and that I'm ready for it.

We just bought our first house. Home. On an island that we've always dreamed of living on. It's perfect! And I don't feel perfect yet, but maybe I'll get there.

So I'm working on my dream of feeling more worth my dreams coming true.

Happy birthday, Rockabye! I loved reading you, and I'll be picking it up again when my kids are on the way.

Shannon | 9:45 PM

I DVR'd Oprah so I could see Stef's parts, but the rest was REALLY boring and honestly? Not so insightful.

I a still working on my sewing/Etsy business. I have been bogged down with custom orders for months and am currently trying to finish up my wait list so I can focus on designing some new products. I am getting tired of sewing the same things over and over again. I would also love to get some of the local boutiques to pick up some of my stuff so when I am asked "where can I get that?" I can answer without having to explain what Etsy is/how to shop the site/ etc. If I can line up some wholesale then I can hire some help. Which I desperately need. It is hard running a business from home with a 4 year old and a 19 month old!

babychirps | 9:50 PM

I looked for you... and was surprised that you weren't there That's why I don't watch Oprah anymore, I just don't relate...

*sigh*
what am i doing?...Standing up for myself and being an example for my kids.

Suzie | 9:56 PM

I am learning to play the guitar. And just today I added another layer of callous to my fingertips by practicing for a long while. It's been 12 years since I got the guitar and 10 weeks since I started playing and hell if I'm ever putting it down again!

meowsk | 9:58 PM

Sometimes I feel like the biggest fraud failure ever. Surely, someday they will figure me out. I hear you completely.

I have been realizing that I need to do things for myself sometimes. So I am starting a photoblog capturing my experience and surroundings visually. In the process I am going to learn jQuery to give the site some uniqueness. Possibly sell prints on Etsy depending on how it does. Using my skills for something besides just work.

Hang in there. Revolutionaries aren't usually recognized in their lifetimes but they remain as history blurs.

DanYell Stedman | 10:00 PM

Sign me up for the Rebecca Woolf fan club. You are the real deal woman and I am so glad to have stumbled upon your blog (via momversation).

Can't wait for you're tv show (it will happen, we ladies need it to happen).

I haven't got your book yet but am going to use my gift card to B&N tomorrow to pick it up.

P.S. I was left with major disappointment from the Oprah episode. Be glad you weren't a part of it.

Tulle Couture | 10:02 PM

Rebecca,

I will definitely be reading your book soon. I was referred to your blog by a friend of mine and I truly enjoy it. We are all the right fit for our lives. My children are happy and so is my husband...even though we are one of the hundreds of thousands who have joined the unemployment race, thanks to the trashed economy. Honestly we have never been more connected..funny how things work out!
I am currently making custom tulle skirts..yes they are very different from your average tutu! Take a look for yourself. Supercute!! and I have teamed up with a local mom who owns an online boutique to get the shirts that complete my ensemble. WWW.tullecouture.blogspot.com. I will soon be on Etsy but for now I work via Facebook and my blog. Thanks for this chance! I have also always wanted to learn how to play the guitar :)

Thanks again,
Tracy S.

bluejeanamy | 10:12 PM

if you're considered "wrong" for oprah then i don't wanna be right, yo.

how'm i working towards my dreams?

1) trying to make a baby. this one's fun.
2) on third draft of my y.a. novel, pushing to finish in a few months and send it off.

thanks for inspiring me and showing me i can do both at once wah bam!

Katherine | 10:16 PM

YOU rock! I relate more to you than any other blog (or actual mom I personally know, for that matter) I read. I was 25 when my son was born and tried out a playgroup in our neighborhood (in San Francisco) when he was 9 mos old. The other moms were 42 and 35, with solid careers and houses, etc. I'm a barista and rent and crappy little apt...so out of place and that was only the tip of the iceberg. Oprah's people missed the boat big time when you weren't booked for the show. Boo for TV junk. Yeah for your blog!!

M | 10:23 PM

Oprah? Why would you want to be on Oprah? Do you watch Oprah? Do you like Oprah? If you do then I can understand that you would be hurt by not being the 'right fit' for her show but you strike me as someone who is far too interesting and busy living your life to be into Oprah.

Having said that, I totally understand how much it hurts being 'rejected' by somebody and/or something that is deemed successful or desirable. As a new mum I was rejected by another new mum for not being the 'right fit' someone, who in retrospect, I didn't really like very much, but it hurt like hell at the time (and several months afterwards). Something about being a mum maybe, is why it stings?

Anyway, as the kid's book 'Pearl Barley and Charlie Parsley' says, I think you're great.

mrs.notouching | 10:40 PM

Have I told you lately that I love you? (don't freak out - I don't know where you live...yet) Oprah shmoprah - getting rejected somehow makes you even cooler. About my dream... When I grow up I want to be just like you - strong, beautiful, intelligent, famous and rejected by Oprah. So I started my own little blog. Now all I need to do is learn HTML and proper grammar (English is not my first language).

Amanda | 10:47 PM

I thought motherhood would be the end of me when I first discovered it was on the horizon. Everybody had big plans for me.

"You're so bright, you're going places!"

"Be strong and independent!"

"Go to college!"

I didn't go to college, instead choosing to jump into life and work immediately. I also jumped into a relationship with my now husband, jumped into bed, and consequently jumped into young motherhood.
I felt like I'd let everyone down. The husband has a Masters in Biomedical Engineering and is the breadwinner in the family. What was I?

Identity Crisis!

For the longest time I had been in love with the world of burlesque, and just a little over a month ago, I shook the self-conciousness and lept at an opportunity to be a dancer for Tucson's premier burlesque group. I can't describe the feeling of living a vision that had once only danced in your head. Next to the love I have for my son, there is really nothing like it. And wouldn't you know it, I also found mothers like me! Finally! Women with multiple tattoo's and senses of humor, women into music and art. I found my niche after I assumed I never would.

I also found my niche when I discovered your blog. So Oprah can eat it.

christine | 10:53 PM

I personally would love it if you wrote a script that had someone like you as the main character. I have an 11 month old daughter, and was looking forward to "in the motherhood" but it is soooo not my bag.
and for my dream, I am opening an etsy shop - not opened yet as I'm building my inventory, but it will be called sophiebelle, and will sell sweet little dresses (tunic-like to wear alone or over a shirt and jeans) and onesies and t's with sweet and modern appliques.

sabrina | 10:59 PM

Hello!
Thanks so much for sharing your stories and experiences on your blog and in your book! As my husband and I look to start our own family, it is wonderful to read personal experiences - esp of someone closer to my (ab)normal than others - but it's the 'ab' that makes gals like us more fun!

You should be so proud of your book - I quite enjoyed it and it is a monumental accomplishment!

As far as personal dreams - mine have definitely varied over the years (I'm a wannabe pediatrician turned architect turned baker) but at least one hasn't changed- that is motherhood- what has changed is how I can make the most of it if we become that lucky. In hoping to be a stay at home mom (though for us it will likely be a work at home mom) and in line with recent unemployment- I have started a baking business (local farmers market + etsy). This is something I thought I would explore in retirement as it has always been a passion - but my gut told me to go for it in that I had nothing to lose - turns out - gut was right! 2 weeks after starting it part-time, I was laid off from my architecture job. Well, as it is my only job now, it is growing (almost 3 months old), and it is insane, but it is also quite amazing! I can definitely relate to the not fitting in - and even now after many years of school with none being formal culinary or pastry arts, I sometimes wonder if this is a good fit.

Now I've rambled - and you can probably tell- I'm not as good with words as I am with sugar . . .

Looking forward to the next prosehos book!

Pati | 11:06 PM

I only watch Oprah when she has celebrities on....something about her just seems too...self centered? Anyways I saw Heather from Dooce on there and thought...Yaa Rebecca will be on!! I waited and waited. I thought why weren't you on? I felt your rejection I really did....and turned off the TV. I can't believe they didn't have you on!! You are by far more interesting to me, then anyone else they had on, including Ms O herself. You are real and honest. You are beautiful and very talented and I savor your blog. I cry, I laugh, and I admire from afar.
My dreams?...well always a process, from making purses to sell, to landscaping....I am mostly a stay at home Mom and have never felt like a 'down-the-middle' Mom and well I am fine with that. My kids are almost grown and if anything I have taught them is how to be genuine and yourself....follow your dreams but be okay with who you are. That has always been my goal.Anyways I really admire you and keep on writing what you know...we all here, who read your blog have noticed and I am sure soon the whole world will too.

Sara | 12:00 AM

I watched that oprah and was hoping you'd be on it. then when they showed everyone in the audience and all the women she had chosen for it i knew right away why they didnt choose you. that you were too young or too hip or too whatever. i dont know i find it sad that they wouldnt pick you because i find you more relatable then those other moms and i know that there are other people out there that dont fit into the mom mold oprah was trying to portray. when she had those three blonde ladies in their mid-late 30s on the stage i just kept thinking wow they all look EXACTLY the same.
anyway i hope your show works out that would be amazing.

nicoleantoinette | 12:08 AM

Wow, lovely post, seriously. And my dream? Well, it's two dreams actually.

Dream #1 is to make a difference in the world. More specifically, to prove that 20-somethings can make a difference in the world. Today I found the courage to do a video interview about my new 20-something service organization, HandsIn.org. That interview is here: http://tinyurl.com/d6fe9s

Dream #2 is to find my center and be a more balanced person. I know that probably sounds small, or silly, but it's a really big deal to me. Today, I managed to sit silently on the floor for 10 minutes and just BE. Which, I think, is the first time that has EVER happened!

gotcownow.com | 12:21 AM

Happy Bookiversary.

After being laid off, I am staying home and being a mom for a while.

Jaclyn | 12:24 AM

It's 2 am in the morning and I'm sitting here thinking about unfinished business. The day I became a mother, everything became unfinished business. I literally drop everything for my child. So, it's only during these wee hours of the night that I get my chance to be a little selfish; do something just for me. I came across your blog a few weeks ago and I have to say...this is definitely something I can see myself doing. My "dream", per se. Thanks so much for the inspiration!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 1:04 AM

You ladies amaze me. You are forces to be reckoned with for sure. So rad to hear you kicking ass, taking names and doing BY YOU. Motherhood takes balls. So does life and living it with your whole heart and I love to hear your stories -- they're inspiring and exciting and fuck yes. FUCK YES.

Rooting you all on. Make it happen, ladies. High five and keep on.

Lindsay | 3:01 AM

I love GGC and O did indeed miss out!

My dream is to become a metalsmith and make my own jewelry. I am having a hard time finding a school for English speakers (I live in Germany) so I'm going to research short coursesin other places today. A small step...

Fransiska | 3:11 AM

So today I am preparing a quote. User Interface Design for a large professional software company. Who I am: a young mom, trying to keep her life together as a mom and as an independant designer. Who I am competing with in the run for this business that I am quoting for? Large design agencies, populated with young, single men who have all the time in the world (even if they weren't single, even if they had kids) to work their asses off for difficult clients.

I feel like David against Goliath, but in my sling there are no stones, just a little boy!

Cate Subrosa | 3:11 AM

MOM is not an adjective, contrary to what the media suggests.Yes!

You're amazing, truly an inspiration to me. Loved this post. Love your struggle, our struggle. Can't wait to see your show.

Cat | 3:31 AM

Wrong fit here too, but for different reasons. 30y.o., alone for a few years, no plans of having babies soon... Whatever.
I don't believe the media. I have stopped watching tv - it's been around 3 years since I took that path, 3 years of watching national geographic and a few shows as Heroes (yeah, mainstream but comic-inspired so I like it), The IT Crowd, Robot Chicken, The Office.
Lately all I hear from mass media is bullshit. Like... HUGE bullshit. I'm tired of the media's standards.

About dreams... I don't have a lifetime dream but there are a few small dreams going on. I'm sewing to have stock because I'm opening an etsy shop to sell... plushies. I discovered I can hand sew quite nicely like three months ago and for the first time (with one of my many hobbies, including painting, jewelry making...) I thought about selling them.

And I'm doing it for someone you know. Didn't have the chance to tell her and she just disappeared, but my plan was to donate all the money from my first sales to Dana. Yeah, you heard right. I've been following your blogs for 4 years straight now and even though I don't know you I feel I do.

If everything goes right I'll have my first 3 items for sale by saturday or sunday.

I'm terrified. I'm scared of failure, of not being able to decide the appropiate price, not selling... I'm struggling with my own (many) insecurities.

Wish me luck and, if you talk to her, tell Dana that we'll miss her around ;)

Susanna | 3:59 AM

My dream is to be able to bring in a bit of income from my etsy shop. I make polymer clay sculptures, accessories, and cake toppers. Hopefully....one day!

Melissa | 4:35 AM

Today I'm taking care of this little 4 week 4 day old beaner who is growing inside me to fulfill my dream of being a mama.

love your site rebecca

Amanda K | 4:50 AM

The funny thing is, I can't imagine you being the wrong fit for anything. I don't know why, really.. I just "look" at you and read your words and figure that you'd fit in anywhere and with anyone. Boo for Oprah, because it would have been really awesome to see some REAL open, honest mamas on the show.
Anyway. my dream? Well... I kinda have most of it. I have my own photography biz. I have a book out. Now, I'm just dreaming of bigger and better and wilder, for me, for my kids.

xox

the grumbles | 4:55 AM

I bought your book in a store! A real store out in the world in Ohio! Isn't it fun to hear that?

April | 5:03 AM

My husband and I run a small computer animation business... it's starting slowly, but it's so liberating to be responsible for and to only yourself! www.WesCary3D.com

(also i started an etsy shop! yay! www.mommynamedapril.etsy.com)

Motherhood Uncensored | 5:07 AM

I love when a bunch of dudes try to figure out what moms want.

Because over the years, that's worked so well. If dudes knew what we wanted, then we wouldn't all be on prozac and pulling our hair out.

Sorry to generalize about the dudes, but seriously, it gets a little annoying.

Sure, I'm guessing there are some women behind the "show of which you speak" but it never ceases to amaze me how people have yet to really understand moms.

Extra chapters must be done by 4/20. Living my dream. Inspired by you as always.

It sucks to not be the right fit, but when the shoe is not really that great looking or comfortable, maybe not so much.

No one wants to squeeze their perfectly awesome previously bloated but now fabulous foot into that.

xo

Julie | 5:22 AM

I just read your book and i really loved it. My mom is reading it now. We aren't "down the middle moms" either and we would definitely watch Oprah if you were on!

Mamalang | 5:23 AM

And you just confirmed why I don't care for Oprah's show. My mom loves her, and she still subscribes to that down the middle mama. Perhaps Oprah (and her peeps) don't care to be on the air for very much longer. She has more money than most, so she really doesn't need to worry about it I guess.

But I would have watched it for you. I'm not just like you, but I relate to you. And I enjoy reading your blog. Cause it's really about us accepting each other.

Thanks for sharing. This year, I'm relearning how to be a completely independent woman while my hubby is deployed. And I'm rocking it (mostly...lol).

meredyth | 5:32 AM

I'd watch your show! And I don't even have kids. But I'd watch it to know that someday, when I do decide to have kids I could do it without losing who I am. A few years ago when I started reading your blog (wow that's so long!) I was impressed and inspired by the way you constantly forged motherhood to fit you. I hadn't seen it anywhere else. And that, along with some great kids I baby sat for made me realize this whole parenting thing isn't so stifling and frightening after all. I really really really hope some one realizes what you're offering them and we can see it on the tube someday. It would be awesome.
What am I doing to further my dream? Going to grad school and working full time. It gets me down, but the thought that keeps me up is that in about a year's time I'll get to do what I love-- talk and share my love of a book with students. That seems like the best possible reality I can imagine right now.

Miss Tricky | 5:32 AM

Man I am so susceptible to that "everymom" illusion...so I guess the first step is owning my own motherhood. After that it's time to put my big girl pants on and start collecting those rejection letters, then I won't be the talented girl who never tried to make it happen I'll be the talented girl searching for the right fit for me!

Black Hockey Jesus | 5:42 AM

I'm writing a book. Pick me randomly. Being turned down by Oprah equals winning.

hand.pecked | 5:49 AM

I'm a huge fan of your blog since you let your personality guide you and not conform to social norm standards.I've recently left a very corporate job because I was getting angrier and angrier everyday not being myself. I've now stepped away to learn more about work life balance and started to really take a stab at my love for paper, especially stationary designs. I don't have kids, but it's a thought in the back of my mind that I'd much rather be a better mom someday who can watch her kids grow up rather than be in meetings and addicted to emails. You are an inspiration and I'd much rather see you as a role model for girls entering their 20s. Take that, Oprah minions.

trixie vontoxic | 5:50 AM

"right down the middle" roughly translated, means homogonized, processed and digested for the masses. anything real or slightly gritty is too upsetting for many. but isnt that what motherhood is? slightly gritty? that is what makes it so wonderful in my opinion. that's what makes us rock stars!
before i was pregnant i began my roller derby career. i have tried desperately to cling to that dream. it has proven much more difficult that i could imagine juggeling my career, husband and amazing child all the while with wheels on my feet. i have somehow found a way to adjust my dream to accomodate my family and it looks a little different than when i started, but its rewarding and fulfilling all the same. i go to practice and scrimmage, am part owner in our league and instead of competing in derby bouts...i manage my team. i am mother hen to 15 amazing women and i get to be a trailblazer in the derby community. i can show them how as moms we evolve, stay connected to the former life we loved, and we CAN have it all. switching gears is what motherhood is all about. staying flexible is key. if you have an open mind and don't remain rigid..you can realize whatever dream you have.
xoxo

Sam | 5:55 AM

Honestly, I was disappointed that you weren't on Oprah - you're truly one of my favorite Momversation panelists. You had me at the awesome green eye shadow, Rebecca!

I don't know what I'm doing to further my dreams, but I'm digging deep and asking questions, figuring out where I am in my faith. In the meantime, I'm just trying to love and parent my child with grace.

And YES - In the Motherhood is so totally UNfunny. I watched one episode and was not impressed.

Emery Jo | 6:03 AM

i am writing. words. songs. and finally beginning to take myself seriously.

you are amazing!! :)

Angie | 6:08 AM

Oprah's producer should be fired because he/she has just lost a huge following (in my books, anyway). I finished my children's book months ago and it's sitting there waiting to be illustrated because I have no artistic talent and don't want to hire an illustrator. Today I'm going to try to sketch my ideas on paper.....

Go Erin Go | 6:10 AM

Hi Rebecca -

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with my first. I'm not a control freak, but I am a worrywort, so to further my dream, I'm trying to relax more and roll with the punches.

I know parenthood is going to scare the crap out of me at times, so if I learn now to not sweat the small stuff, the whole life of being a mom should be much more enjoyable. That's all I want, healthy, happy kids and a healthy happy family with my husband.

Love the blog! And screw Oprah.

-Erin

SPITsisters | 6:10 AM

I have always wanted to write a Young Adult novel, and have started many and stopped many. But now I've started a YA novel in blog form - http://www.thespitsisters.blogspot.com. I tell myself I MUST update it at least twice a week, and it's keeping me motivated and actually gaining followers! It's scary to put my writing out there - in definitely unfinished, unpolished form - for all to see and criticize, but I couldn't be happier and prouder. It's the best thing I've done for myself in a long time.

Best of luck with your own dreams - you inspire many on here every day to follow theirs, and I can't wait to watch your show one day.

Jessi | 6:16 AM

You know what? Oprah's the wrong fit for you. Stodgy old talk show host. You're better than that and that's all I have to say about that.

I'm currently studying for the GRE so I can go back to grad school. I also keep putting off starting my book, but I am inspired by your book's first birthday. Maybe I can move past the outline stage.

The Johnson 5 | 6:29 AM

I am slowly getting to know you outside of the momversation stuff and I have to say I would SO love to see you on Oprah.

Were not all June Cleaver.
I have always stayed home with my kids and love to be with my babies and all their drooling, smiley, fat rolls selfs.

I do enjoy cooking and walking my dogs. I know I know GAG!!

I'm also a woman and a mother who enjoys a good dirty joke (I'm normally the one teling it:) a cold beer and my husband, normally I enjoy him more after the dirty joke and the beers :)

Anyway, no matter what we do were all put in some category.

I was known as the "stay at home", oh she can do it, she is Susie Homemaker.
Bitch please, SUSIE HOMEMAKER my ass.

I feel your pain girl, from maybe a different side but I still feel it.

I am enjoying your writings more and more.

And yes I'm working on my dream. I have been for a while. Whether it goes anywhere or not, I'm still doing it. Because it feels so good!!

butwhymommy | 6:29 AM

Who wants to be a down the road mom. The best we can do is follow our dreams and love our children. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

I am still trying to figure out how to follow my dreams (and exactly what they are).

hoppytoddle | 6:30 AM

I left my corporate job trying to fight the good fight, because I realized I was the only one who cared, to raise our DD. Now I'm trying to open an online store, which I don't want to post about on here because I'm afraid someone will steal my idea, but will email you about. I would LOVE to have free advertising on your site.

& Bec, we've covered this in so many angles, but Bless You for being Who You Are. You know so many of us, them, we, identify with you. This Oprah shenanigan is just another example of those us's & them's instead of the way things should be.

Kendra | 6:34 AM

I think Oprah missed out. I don't usually watch, but I would have tuned in for that episode. I love Fable's headband. Where did you get it?

Meg | 6:37 AM

Thank you for being the wrong fit because I feel I can relate to you more than any other mother I've met. Our situations surrounding becoming mothers is eerily similar and I share your views on raising kids and such. While I'm kissing your ass, I loved your book. I read it a few months ago and I keep it out to read different pieces for inspiration. (What I don't want to admit is that it stays next to the toilet. I like to provide my company with quality reading material.)

I've recently been evaluating my life and my goals. I lost all sense of myself when I became a mother. I plan to finally graduate college next spring and then persue my love of writing. I don't yet know where I want to take my writing, but I want to dedicate more time to it.

sleepynewmommyblog[at]yahoo[dot]com

megan | 6:47 AM

I don't need to win anything, I just wanted to say that I understand how you felt when they didn't pick you for Oprah. I was once up for jury duty, even though I didn't want to be chosen to be on the actual jury (it was a child rape case) I had that moment of "why not me" when they released me. It's crazy, but we all want to be wanted.

brenna d. | 6:53 AM

I'm sitting in class, in lawschool. I know it sounds lame, but it the same vain, I want to prove that not all lawyers have to be mean, money hungry, power suit wearing women with bad attitudes and worse shoes. And hopefully, in 4 months, when this roller coaster is over, and I've passed the bar, I'll get to work on being a mother as well.

So, welcome to the club of "not the right fit". It's alot of fun here; we have beer and pigs in a blanket.

dixon.brenna@gmail.com

amy lou. | 6:57 AM

warning: lengthy comment to follow...

i stumbled upon your site...i don't even remember how...but have followed you ever since. i love how raw your posts are. and i must tell you, i was feeling very much the 'wrong fit' after having my daughter nearly a year ago, but finding your site has reminded me that there is no 'right fit' and that it is more important to be who i am than what society wants me to be (what does oprah know...she doesn't even have children.) i don't cook every night, i don't powder my nose every morning but i DO take my kid to motorcycle dealerships and tattoo parlors. guess that's why i haven't heard from oprah either.

you've inspired me to push forward with my own story and forge my own road. thanks for being so 'wrong'.

coronalrain | 7:04 AM

Wrong fit. I hear you loud and clear on that one. I feel like the wrong fit everywhere I go these days. As far as my dream. I am still trying to figure it out. Maybe when I know what it is I will share, but for now I am enjoying being a mom to my 7 month old and banging away at my career. I will figure out my next dream soon. My first one already came true. I had my healthy baby girl.

Adina | 7:17 AM

It's not super romantic, but I (mom of delicious 17 month old Nola) just finished my application to a grad program I'm really psyched about in Politics and Education.

Love the blog, and most definitely think some relate-able television would be nice. And I love Tara.

anita ovolina | 7:23 AM

You've had success in so many things you've done. I think this is a tough business where you have to go forward and stay true to who you are (but you already know that).

I grew up speaking another language and I learned English as an adult. When I started writing I was very insecure about my ability to convey emotions or feelings in this second language. I had many rejections and kept moving forward. I love being a journalist but it has been frustrating.

I'm from Rome, Italy and live in a small southern town with my husband and five daughters (my husband is military). I think you are unique and not the average mom that I see in our area - but that's what makes it interesting and real.

My dream is to write a non fiction book on death row inmates and how they live and to write about issues that relate to military families.

Brooke | 7:23 AM

Happy Anniversary to your book! My hubs bought it for me last year, and I really enjoyed it. And as for the Oprah episode, I would have rather watched you a million times over than the women they had on there.

Decor Addict | 7:26 AM

Wrong fit? Yeah, that's bull-s#it. I think you'd be the perfect fit.

I'm about to be a mom for the 1st time (12 weeks to go!). I have a day-job that I hate, but I started a design blog last summer that i'm slowly developing into a business (writing and interior styling), not 100% sure of where it's going to take me just yet, I just know that there's no way in hell I want to come back to working for "the man" once my paid maternity leave is up! I'm being my authentic self to the best of my ability, and maybe one day soon i'll be able to earn a living doing it.

Baby Z's Mom | 7:26 AM

Oprah is wrong, you are just what they need. You rock & if you need anyone to help you knock on doors, I'm there with you. We are all not cookie cutter people. We can be Mom's with tattoos & blue hair! Heck my kid loves my tattoos & gets to have blue hair every once in a while.

Kendra | 7:31 AM

Although my head tells me to trust my heart, my heart says it has no idea what it's doing. So I end up looking around--at my friends, books, and even the TV--to figure out what kind of mom (and person) I'm supposed to be. And it's such a relief, in the face of all these confusing role models who don't seem at all real to me, to see someone like you; we're different ages, have different backgrounds, and you're way better with a sewing machine than me! But you're real, and you remind me that I'm real, and we're both raising our kids the very best way we can. And I really appreciate that, whether or not Oprah does. I really look forward to seeing the stories you come up with to portray real moms in the real world.

As far as chasing my dream, about three years ago, I started staying at home with my (then) 2 kids. Now there are 3, and I'm still here--all the time. I love staying at home, and I love them, but there are days when I feel like all I'm good for is deciding who gets the fire truck and changing diapers. So I've started a freelance proofreading business. There's not a lot of money in it, but there's some. And probably more importantly, it reminds me that I'm more than one kind of person. Just because I spend most of my time with people who aren't potty trained, that doesn't mean my brain has to shut off. My parents both have post-graduate degrees, and I often get the impression that they think I'm "wasting" my intelligence by staying at home. When I get a job to proofread an academic paper or a novel someone's trying to publish, I'm reminded that grown-ups need me too. And as an aside, I'm also working on remembering that raising my kids isn't exactly "wasting" my brain. But I'm really proud of the work I've been doing and think it's making me a better mom, because now I know that a mom doesn't have to be all that I am.

Stephannie | 7:32 AM

I've been writing my whole life.
Instead of getting wasted and losing my virginity with a high school "hottie", I spent nearly every spare moment of my adolescent career writing.
I love to write. I love to tell stories and although I do it for a living - writing for a small community newspaper - I still have a deep, insatiable passion for it.
Your little dream, is my dream some day. To be published.
I pluck away at a story that I hope someday will be on bookshelves everywhere.
It's a silly dream millions of people, but it's my dream too.
Happy Anniversary... :)

Mme Paulita | 7:36 AM

um...I'm about to go all gutter punk and beat some ass. For real..my blood is boiling to hear that you are not the right fit.

I may have mentioned it before but the mom's group I'm apart of (punkymoms!) is exactly what you talk about...against the norm, but really the norm!

*hugs*

Don't let O get you down..Viva Girls Gone Child!

Baby Z's Mom | 7:37 AM

Oops, forgot to add my dream. Right now it's just to get through the days happy, healthy and with my loved ones intact. Someday I will hopefully be able to own my own business or at least do something I love.

Jaime | 7:37 AM

Last year, frustrated with my seeming lack of progress in the novel I tried to write (I am currently considering canabalizing it into some stories to send, because she's dead in the water, my friend.) I decided to throw a reading at a local bar. And then, three months later, I did another one. Well, it's been a year now, and the bar's stopped charging me for the space and time, gives me my pick of dates, and given me another monthly show.

It's not quite what I thought I'd be doing, but it's incredibly satisfying to read to a room full of people who are happy to be there. And to give my friends the opportunity to do the same. And to make new friends because of it.

mountain.mama | 7:41 AM

Your blog is one of my favorite mommy blogs. I didn't fit in either because I was of an "advanced maternal age" when I started having kids. I'm the same age as my children's friend's grandparents. So what? NOBODY IS NORMAL. I don't watch Oprah any more because she is self-centered on the show and interrupts people, but that said, I would have watched her interrupt you!

Now that my kids are older I am rediscovering myself through blogging, photography and writing. I dream of writing a book but as yet am very unfocused on what kind of book so I've just been writing. I'm working on developing my photography skills but I've been afraid to tackle Etsy. Maybe I should try.....(you know, who would want to buy my pictures?)

Anyway, you are an awesome writer and mom. High five!

My Bottle's Up! | 7:44 AM

shit, i was wondering why you weren't on oprah that day. seriously. i looked for you and wondered. WTF man, i read this post of your's and get pissed. how can there be so many of "us" out there, and still be (dare i say) "a minority"??? being one of the writing, dreaming, visionary-esque, arms tattooed moms out there, reading this made me angry for you. i feel like you put yourself out there in a way that deserves just as much (if not more) acknowledgment for fuck's sake.

ok, so my dream... been working on it since my son was born and allergic to my breast milk. it's a book. a manuscript. our story. his story. he turns one year old next week and the book is such a fucking mess. but i love it.

my other dream is my blog and promoting the awareness that breast was not best FOR US, and i put the "for us" in caps because i don't want la leche to email me with snarks. my blog is under construction with a killer graphic design friend right now, so i feel like i'm seeing that come to fruition... and that's nice.

both of these dreams make me happy... and i think ultimately that's the BIG DREAM. to simply look at my life, the things and people in it, and be happy. right now, those two big projects put a big fuckin smile on my face.

oh, and, if you read this... i've had your book since it was released. :) would LOVE a signed copy of it, so i can pass my original on to a friend... and i have an acoustic guitar. ad space, shmad space... more than anything, i think i'd just like a response from you. i'd love to know that you read my comment... cuz sometimes i wonder... :)

cheers to you for writing this post and happy birthday book! it really rocked my world when i needed it to be rocked, so thank you for that.

lady k | 7:48 AM

Wrong fit my ass. All for the best I suppose.
I am going to enjoy our first real warm day of spring by going for a 7KM run, then clean up for dinner guests this evening...and prepare a new dish to serve to them. Taking a risk in the kitchen!

amelia | 7:49 AM

Ha, I wrote an outline for a TV show on REAL motherhood after I watched the first episode of "In the Motherhood." Oh how I hope a network picks yours up.

I am furthering my dream by sending out pitches for articles.

Linsey | 7:56 AM

My dream is to have a family.

I am furthering my dream by currently living the life of a young professional, working in Philadelphia, and dating the entire population of single men in the entire country... many, many dates... with very few keepers.

But I figure that my living my life and taking the right road as it comes along, the right man will eventually come along & together we will create my dream.

Chef's Widow | 8:04 AM

I absolutely agree with you about those lame-o mommy shows. Not quite sure if their portrayal could get any further from the truth. I think I would rather June Cleaver bake pies.

My dream was actually just realized on Tuesday when the husband & I opened the first certified 'green' restaurant in Ohio, The Greenhouse Tavern. Another dream of mine is to travel to the world with my children at a young age so they can learn that there is big giant world out there with beautiful people and problems and famine and beauty. I'm still working on that...the funds are a bit low right now.

Good for you on everything you do for your family & yourself. You are an inspiration. And you're badass.

Amelia | 8:06 AM

I officially am boycotting Oprah because how dare she???? If you're not the "right fit" for her show, than neither are the majority of moms out there, because 99% of us do not fit into the stereotypical mold they put us in.

Thank you for giving the real life moms inspiration through your words.


p.s. I am going to go out and buy your book today in honor of its birthday. I don't want to win anything, I just wanted to show my support this time. I'd rather give someone else a chance to win one of your awesome prizes. I'm the one who you so graciously presented with the Medela Freestyle breastpump. I was home sick the other day, feeling sorry for myself, when it arrived and it made me feel better instantly. I LOVE IT, way more than a normal person should love a breastpump.
A million thank yous...

eringremlin | 8:07 AM

You are a perfect fit for me, Rebecca. You are beautiful, inside and out. I love your writing, your outlook on life, love, and motherhood. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with people you don't even know. You brighten my day so often!!

Erica | 8:10 AM

Rebecca,

I enjoy reading your blog. I enjoy your individuality. I think your writing and your expression of your love for your babies and your struggle to achieve "marital bliss" is refreshing and real and makes me want to give you a hug and tell you that it's hard for all of us.

I understand why you were not chosen. I understand that you are not the "down-the-middle" mom. You aren't. You know that. That is what makes you special. That is what makes you "you". I know it hurts when someone tells you that who you are is not "right" for their purpose. But who you are is going to be perfect for some other purpose. The bigger picture is that you are the PERFECT fit in your current, most important role. That of mom to your beautiful babies.

I look forward to someday seeing the show that you're writing. I know that it will be enlightening, fresh, and well scripted.

I enjoy all shows that depict parenthood and its struggles in a non-violent, respectful, encouraging way. Parenthood is hard. For everyone. There is no perfect parent. But we all strive to raise intelligent, respectful, creative, healthy children who will use their skills and talents to make this world a safer, more pleasant place to live.

Good luck.

Lis | 8:10 AM

As an avid reader of GGC, you were probably the first mom that I have ever related to. And to be perfectly honest, there have been very few since. When I found out I was pregnant with my first almost 4years ago,I was the first of all my friends to be married,let alone pregant and felt like I had the plague or something. Mere sent me the link to your blog and I've read it ever since.
Today is my 28th Birthday. I am in the early stages of opening up my own graphic design business and I am 18 weeks preggo with my 3rd child. Today, I am actually finishing up a website and promotional package for a local artist that will have been one of my first clients. Needless to say, a very good 28th birthday!

Kim | 8:10 AM

Good for you. Persistance pays off in the end (I believe anyway). I didn't comment on your not fitting in post, but I have never felt I fit in either. I'm a working mom, very middle class with two girls that I had at 28 and 30 with my husband who I'd been married to for 5 years first. So I suppose my experience is very down the middle. But you know what, it isn't. No one's is. I think you're exactly right. The shows that are on TV right now just dumb everything down. No one really lives like that. Personally, I'd way rather see something that felt real, even if it wasn't my exact reality.

Anyway, to answer your question. My dream right now is to stress less and enjoy more. My main goal in life right now is to Just Be. It's been the hardest thing I've ever tried to achieve. I'll keeping trying at it though. One day at a time.

(as a silly aside. the word verification I've been asked to type below is "brest". That probably shouldn't make me laugh as much as it does. Heee).

TheGirl | 8:19 AM

I'm not a mom yet, but i'm expecting my baby in September. I just wanted you to know that you are one of the few moms i can relate to at all. I'm 29, i'm not married, i have tattoos all over my arms and chest and back... i have never owned a pair of khakis. Keep it up. I long for the day when i can see a mom like you on television because it definitely makes me feel better about the mom i want to be and the person i know i am. :)

Birdie | 8:20 AM

Wow. Great post, as always. Right now, I am terrified, biting my nails and thinking about applying to graduate school. 6 years after I got my undergraduate. Since then I've had a full-time job, a husband, a kid, tattoos...can I do the school thing again...?

marlene | 8:23 AM

your post makes me want to get up and fight. (not fight in a bad way).

my current dream is to hit the road for a bit... hopefully as soon as baby #2 pops out of me... in 20 more weeks.

Adventures In Babywearing | 8:23 AM

I would have cried, too. And I would have really enjoyed your perspective on that show, and just seeing you- I mean, you are fabulous! It's a shame they thought you were the wrong fit because with us moms, there really is no right way to wear it.

Your book is still my favorite one I read last year.

Steph

Dora | 8:26 AM

I was told by my Ob-Gyn that maybe I was the wrong fit for motherhood after Clomid didn't work. So for now, I am pursuing my photography dream and drumming up business for myself. My dream has always been to find out where I fit in in this world, and I thinkt he perspective of photographs helps me take this life one snapshot at a time.

Traci | 8:27 AM

I've never left a comment on your blog before but this entry has completely compelled me to!

I think the reason I don't watch Oprah is because people like you go though a million interviews only to be told they aren't the "right fit."

Whatever.

You and what you have accomplished has inspired me and continues to inspire me with each entry.

As far as the dreams I am chasing? I'm a writer too, currently working in the dregs of journalism at a local weekly paper.

My dream is to be published somewhere on a national scale, whether it be magazine or newspaper.

It's a scary dream considering the art of journalism is struggling as it tries to still make money while offering its content online.

So that's my dream. Thank you for keeping it real and always optimistic.

aimee | 8:28 AM

First time commenter, year-long-reader.

I really enjoyed your book and pray to all things REAL that you keep working on that screenplay. TV is utterly hopeless - except in a few cases - "Tara" for example - fucking amazing!

You are the voice of a lot of us and a voice that is missing from mainstream pop culture! Keep at it. We need you!

And, are you kidding me!? Fuck Oprah! Their loss.

AmyDanel | 8:29 AM

I am anti-Oprah...when I was a SAHM for 1 year I watched her because it was what SAHMs do, right? Her topics and panelists are rarely relatable and often pissed me off, for various reasons. Although I am the typical college educated, married then had kids, 2 income family...I know that is not the "norm". Like last weeks show, are there only blonde moms?? Oprah is a multi-bilionaire, is not married, nor has kids [her dogs don't count!] - why would we take her advice??

Babe in Babeland | 8:31 AM

Thanks for another great post!

My dreams...to write a bestselling novel (or two or three or more!) and to get paid to act! Whether it's television or film or theatre--I just love to entertain...to tell a story. Right now, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing to further these dreams. I recently had a baby, and it seems as all of my life has halted for her. I just feel so overwhelmed everyday. Everything happened so fast, and now I'm a mom. I know I still can go after my dreams, but I sometimes feel a bit paralyzed...not quite sure how to go about anything anymore. I just feel disorganized and all over the place.

You are inspiring to me because you have had so much success after becoming a mom. I guess it's because you just don't give up! I need to be the same way. Thanks for your inspiration!!!

trisherann | 8:36 AM

To support my dream today, I'm going to work all day, and go to class. Because not only am a I a single mom, but I'm also a full time worker, and I'm a full time student...and it is killing me. I am about to lose my mind. I want to run away screaming...but I know I'll never finish and be able to give my sweet baby boy the life he deserves, so I keep on trucking.

Best of luck to you sister!

hbreading | 8:44 AM

My dream is to become an attorney who specializes in international law- especially in regards to refugees (women and children in particular) and human trafficking. I have seen firsthand the way extremists use women in war and as a women, I can't imagine my children or my loved ones going through what some of these women have gone through.
I have come pretty far in preparing for my dream...I went back to school (while working full-time) to get my masters in French, even though my french was TERRIBLE and I had hives for the first four weeks of class...fortunately I improved, thanks to drinking before class and studying. I'm graduating in a week and I'm going to law school in the fall...wish me luck!
Oh and also, my other dream is to become a non-famous acoustic guitar player and singer who only performs in tiny little cafes and living rooms. So that guitar would be awesome...

Autumn | 8:52 AM

I'm also a writer. I've been able to get a few of my short stories published online and one will be coming out shortly in a print magazine. It is a lot of work I don't have time for, a lot of head-knock-to-wall, and endless rejection letters. I keep hope because I am improving failure by failure, with little triumphs scattered between!

I'd love to win your book. It's on my to-buy list when I have the money!

Molika P. Ashford | 8:57 AM

Today I am registering some domain names so I can make myself a professional website. I've just finished a masters program in science journalism, and I'm trying to do some extra work to make myself a desirable and accessible freelancer.

My dream is eventually be able to write books about science and nature.

Valbert | 9:03 AM

I loved your book, the letter in the beginning made me cry and hit my heart and it said exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for that.

For my dreams ....

I have been horse crazy since I could talk, all about my little ponies, any book with a horse even mentioned I would read over and over. I took riding lessons at four and it only made me want to do it more. I fell I got back up again, I fell hard healed then got back up again. I learned with horses I got taught by horses. I have always wanted a life around them, not a vet as I was never good at science but something a horse shoer(farrier), a groom, a coach anything.
I used to work at a job that paid me a lot of money, more then I needed and I thought about how miserable I was. So I saved what I could quit that job and bought a horse farm. Money has never been tighter but I have never been happier at 6 in the morning mucking stalls or sitting on my back deck with my evening tea and seeing my dreams in front of me

Rachel | 9:03 AM

Hi Rebecca!
I’ve been visiting your blog for a while now and I have to tell you that I truly look forward to reading your words. You truly are an inspiration and your children are just adorable!

I, too, am an aspiring writer, trying desperately to get my name, words and stories out there and heard. I graduated from college with a Journalism degree in 2006 and, in a desperate attempt to land a job, I grabbed up the first one offered to me. For nearly three years I’ve been working at an ad agency in the sales department – definitely NOT where I thought I would end up. In this position, I have no freedom to write, to be creative, and to fulfill my dreams…so, I decided I needed a change. After reading so many wonderful blogs, I created my own. It’s nothing big, really just a creative, writing outlet for me, but I love it and I’m hoping it will motivate me to begin working on the book I’ve always wanted to write. Additionally, I’ve set out to switch careers. It hasn’t been easy with the current economic situation, but my persistence has finally paid off. I have an interview next week for a reporter position with a small newspaper in my town. I’m pulling out all the stops in preparation and I’m going into the interview confident that I will get this job. I’m also getting married this year, so I’m convinced this WILL BE the best year of my life…new blog, new job, new last name, new life!

Allison the Meep | 9:06 AM

You're so great. And your kids are gorgeous. And I love that you're real and relatable and honest. And my sentence structure in this is awful, but I don't care.

My dreams have changed a lot in the last 10 years. I'm a musician, and I used to be obsessed with putting out an album and getting a record deal. And then I had a baby, and my life changed. And then I found out I have celiac disease and can't eat gluten or I'll die, and my life changed again. So, refocusing of dreams has led me to the new dream of opening a gluten-free bakery in my town. It's still in the works, but I approach it every day as if it's a real job that I'm going to. Every day, I make a new recipe or do research about the business end of things. Because that's the only way it will happen. And one day it will. And I'll send you a box of gluten-free cupcakes because you're awesome and inspiring.

shylobisnett | 9:07 AM

Today, I'm going geocaching in the woods. Because I'm a week from my due date, and that doesn't mean I'm an invalid. Even when I have this kid, I'm still going to jump in puddles and climb around tree trunks.

shoe | 9:12 AM

I drive my husband crazy whenever I get upset about not fitting in with 'mainstream mommies'. He tells me 'of course you don't fit in, you're way cooler! Why are you even upset?'

But it's hard despite being happy, to ignore that little part of us that wants to be just like everyone else. Which is funny, because if I did wake up in that situation I'd go absolutely bonkers.

Anyhow, my dream is to finish this PhD, become an "above average" (superstars don't have time for family) scientist and raise my daughter to be all sorts of awesome!

Pauli | 9:13 AM

Another first time commenter here!

Love your blog, Rebecca - your kids + family are all just gorgeous! You can feel the love and joy in all the photos -so beautiful.

I can't believe that they made such a mistake not having you on Oprah! You would ROCK on Oprah!

Anyway onto the dream thing. Well hubby and I are currently living in a small country (often crappy, in more ways than one!) in the Middle East so we can save money to buy a house. My dream is pretty simple and boring really; I just want to be financially stable, so that my (future) kids don't have to grow up worrying about money like I did. I don't want them to be spoiled or anything, not that there's anything wrong with being spoiled sometimes :) I just want them to be able to enjoy their childhood and be kids.

Yeah, I think too much sometimes! :)

elise | 9:19 AM

Today, I sit down for another two hour nap time work blitz. This time last year, I would be sitting down to cry in front of my computer, head in hands, wondering how, with a new baby and all the creative juice in the world how I would ever find myself again? How would I make my soul be heard? How would I provide for my budding family? How would I lay on my pillow at night and rest, really rest until I found my place?

I knew a few things in this time that was so uncertain and disorienting after I had my son. I wanted to live genuinely, be true to my heart, help people and use my gift of design and creativity. I also knew it wouldn’t be easy and it wouldn’t be typical. Could my artist life and my mom life co exist in one unsettled flabby post partum body? Could I be the anti-stay-at-home, stay-at-home-mom?

Not too many days later, a box full of tears, a few amazing friends and a husband who saw more potential in me than I even knew existed. I created from nothing at all and everything in my heart, a successful, growing photography business. It may not yet pay all the bills, but it is doing quite well to pay off the debts and doubts I accumulated on my heart, my confidence and my self worth.

I snapped and snapped pieces of life, my life, stranger’s lives, bugs lives, anyone who was willing and who was in great light! From a small walk-in-closet, gone studio, I launched my photography business. I photographed anyone and anything, I edited into the night, I edited with a baby in my lap, I edited thanks to a million lattes from Starbucks. I work everyday and every night, I never stop dreaming, I never stop learning and I never stop believing that these dreams are with in my reach. The economy may stink, people may be negative, and not everything will always go as planned, but from this walk in closet I will be known, I will be sought after and I will give people precious gifts of bits of life. I aspire to move into the fashion and editorial world someday, I have no doubt that with a positive attitude, persistence, my passion and amazing family and friends I will.

ps Oprah SO needs you! She'll be back, make her beg :)

Jackie | 9:21 AM

I'm disappointed that you weren't chosen to be on Oprah - because that would have been one of the only episodes I'll watch! The woman has never had my "viewership", and she just lost another chance. Absolutely her loss, imagine the ratings she's missed out on!

What is my dream? Appropriate to this post, I'm trying to figure out where I really "fit". I know where I want to be...I want to be an amazing Mom to my 2 babes, a good wife, but most importantly, I want to be "Me". I feel like when I had my kids, I lost a piece of my own identity and my own ambition. I have a dream of owning and operating a Stable (boarding, breeding, riding lessons...). I want to be self-sufficient in the money department, but I don't want to throw away the dream I'm currently living of being a stay at home mom. I've got some MAJOR saving to do in order to make that Stable possible, so right now I'm trying to find ways to make some money while doing things that I love. For example - I've just started my own Etsy store! It's called "Babylove By Jackie" ( www.babylovebyjackie.etsy.com ), and I'm making baby and child related items. Nursery decor, hair bows, diaper totes, and my newest creation the "Cozy Cape" - the busy mom's answer to fumbling with buttons and zippers when you're trying to rush out the door. I'm just starting out, and am really struggling. I need a way for my target crowd (ie. real moms like myself) to find my products - and the offer of adspace on your blog is AMAZING! It would help me out more that you could possibly know. One of my other dreams is to learn to play the guitar - but - I don't own one, and can't really afford to buy one. I'd love this chance for a bit of "me" time! Also - I can't wait to read your book, but haven't purchased one yet. Another FABULOUS reason why I'm excited about this giveaway!
One more way I'm working towards my dream - I've been taking online courses through the University of Guelph, in Equine Studies, to give myself some extra knowledge and credentials when I finally reach my goal.
Whew! Sorry to ramble!

Anonymous | 9:21 AM

I enjoy your blog very much, although my life story is in many ways opposite to yours. I'm 40 and went straight though school and grad school, then worked for 10 years. Didn't meet someone to marry and have children with, so at 38 I used a sperm donor, got pregnant, and had a baby (that makes it sound easy--it wasn't--took a long time and a lot of tries). But now I have a wonderful 3 year old boy and am juggling work and motherhood. Being a mom was one of my dreams and it's the best thing I've ever done--sometimes the hardest. I had a lot of years of pursuing my other dreams--work, play, and creativity. Now I'm still working, but trying to slow down enough to really enjoy my son!

Nicola Proctor | 9:26 AM

Dang... eff Oprah and her wrong fitty-ness! There are gazillions of women out there LIKE ME who read your blog and say, 'FINALLY already, someone LIKE ME!' Just because we don't drive a minivan and wear turtlenecks and have our hair like Tipper Gore circa 1984.

(although I secretyly kinda would like a minivan)

(but obviously with like a really great stereo in it)

Miss M | 9:42 AM

What am I doing to further my dreams? I am sucking up my pride and going back to school to get my Masters degree. It scares me so much to go back with all the younger kids that are fresh out of undergrad, but I am going to do it. I want my kids to see the value of good hard work.

Lane C | 9:47 AM

Rebecca, I think you have inspired a new breed of mom GGC mom's. I feel like one of them :) My dream right now is taking advantage of being in school in the fall for my MSW and being a better mom to my kids and a better wife to my husband. (while making it look effortless ;) Thanks for all you do. I hope your show gets picked up!

Lucas, Amber and Levi | 9:55 AM

I'm a mom of a 17 month old boy and until recently worked half time as a structural engineer. I got laid off (stupid economy) but am lately feeling thrilled with the freedom some extra time brings to work toward my dreams. I'm working to get LEED certified to be able to help businesses and homes run more 'green'. There are so many ways to improve buildings to make air healthier, decrease waste, shrink the carbon foot-print, and just all 'round leave this place better for our kiddos and the ones that come after them.

I enjoy your blog!

emily | 9:58 AM

Thank you for making space for people to dialogue, and for people to be real persons. It's always amazing to hear other's stories, and realize that there is so much going on in every life - it gives us something to fight back against those tv shows with.

My pursuit of my dreams? I get out of bed every morning and choose health and hope. It's taken courage to say that that's an okay place to be in right now, even if it doesn't look like much.

Nicole | 10:02 AM

I'm still chugging away on that first novel, rewriting, just writing, reorganizing, and so on. You know how it goes. I also started a poetry blog and am trying, in earnest this time, to get my poetry and fiction published. (And, hey, I got you to publish my poem on your Portraits of an Economy. Thanks again for that Rebecca!) I'm keeping it going.

Charlotte | 10:06 AM

OK, I actually watched that Oprah show and boy, was it a feast of negativity! Down the middle of the road moms? If you were to believe most of the folks on there, you'd never want to get pregnant because you'll stop having sex afterwards and your kids are absolutely no reward for the stretchmarks and your broken body image. And yes, you'll let them cry for hours in their cribs while you have a leisurely glass of wine in the living room. Honestly, this show made me want to break the TV.

While I kind of fall on the side of the picket fence and, like Anonymous, was certainly well past 35 when I had Little Miss Kickboxer last December, the decision to have her in the first place was one of the hardest choices I've ever made--that and trying to figure out what to do if the amnio comes back with a couple of extra chromosomes.

And yeah, having a family was one of my dreams--one that I never dared to admit to myself until I had begun facing the issues that my own upbringing created in my life. So ... check on that one.

The other one--I always wanted to be a doctor. Epic fail on that one; however seeing that Susan Boyle do her thing on Britain's Got Talent, that totally resonated with me. Watch me: Once I turn 50, I might just enroll in med school.

Heather | 10:13 AM

I was honestly very surprised that you were not on the Oprah show. I wanted to see you on there. Her loss IMO because you do represent a vast majority of moms out there who want more and don't want to have to live up to somebody elses parenting standards that are expected of them.

As for me, I am taking my flabby post 3 babies body and training. I am going to participate in an adventure race in the fall. I have never done anything like this in my life and I am so fired up about it.

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