Beautiful Blogging: Grumble Girl

Tracey is one of my favorite people on the Internet. She has always been a sister. Supportive, eloquent, wise and most importantly, FUNNY. Goddamn, funny people are the best, aren't they? If I have any relationship advice to give anyone ever, it's marry the funny guy and befriend the girl who makes you laugh. Tracey is the girl who makes you laugh. And me. But she also makes me cry and shake my head and want to be a better human being. That's power. That's the reason for the season. That is what separates the beloved with the not so. Vulnerability. Humor. The ability to laugh at one's own expense. Tracey is the poster child adult of all of these things.

One other such adage is about holding grudges that says, holding a grudge is like drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die. I got that message loud and clear eons ago, and since I can be passive-aggressive in ways that don’t please me, I try to do things better when I feel crossed. Maybe not as directly as I should (baby steps, yo) but I often take a step back and assess the situation, and try to see it for what it is. This person isn’t trying to fuck with me – this person is just having a bad time these days, and taking it out in unsavoury ways, and I happen to be in the crossfire. That’s often the case.

I do this all the time. The "cursing of the dress that does not fit" because SURELY, IT'S THE DRESS' FAULT I ATE TOO MUCH BANANA PUDDING. I am passive aggressive. I quietly steam and stew and shit talk and smile. 
What I love about this post is the HUMANITY of it all. The balance of those who "swindle us" and those who "do us favors" and the idea that we are just the same. We are all swindling and doing favors and it's like how there are thousands of earthquakes in California a year and we only ever feel two or three. 
If someone talks shit on someone else and nobody's there to hear it, does it make a sound?
If someone screws someone over but they do not notice, have they been screwed over?
If someone does a good deed that goes unnoticed was it not good?
This is the age of recognition. We must show what we have and who we are and tell the world what good deeds we are doing in order to feel like we are doing them...
I am a firm believer in the balance that exists without our knowledge. That for every shit day, a wonderful one is on its way. That for every generous act, there is perhaps an unsavory one... It isn't karma so much as the reality of existing here and now. 
We are all capable of selling each other broken coats. 
We are all capable of mending each other's seams.  
As soon as I recognized this about myself and my friends and my husband and my children and ALL people, I became much happier in this life. 
I stopped holding grudges. 
I put on a different dress instead. 
Tracey for President.
And this on empathy and not having to choose a side (which I've linked to before but it's perfect so please revisit it if you haven't already.) 
And this on marriage, specifically this:
And, well, everything Tracey has ever written...
Moments, you know? This is what we live for. The glance back... the fingers. The smiling. Thank you, Tracey for so honestly and eloquently sharing, with humor and wisdom and grace.