"You are (all) my favorite."

This week on Mom.me, I wrote about favoritism specifically, what to do when someone else so blatantly favors one of your children. Which is a thing that happens.

Over Dim Sum.

On Mother's Day.

(And everywhere else.)

Over the weekend, as we finished up our Mother's Day Dim Sum, Revi made a friend. Revi makes friends everywhere she goes. So does Fable and Archer and Bo, of course, but Revi could go pro in the "Let me fold my hands nicely in my lap and be cute on command" department. She sits quietly in chairs and smiles. Which makes her a hot commodity, especially in busy restaurants.

And so, as an elderly woman two tables over began playing peek-a-boo with Revi, I knew what was coming. Their game of peek-a-boo soon became a lovefest of flowers and treats until Revi was cradling a bouquet of carnations and bag full of candy.

"But what about me?" asked Bo.

"Yeah. What about us?"

"I know. This is... let me just... hold on..."

...I realized halfway through my attempt to "fix" the situation that the woman did not speak English and/or was not concerned about playing favorites. She only had eyes for Revi.

At this point, Bo had gotten out of her seat and started yelling, "WHAT ABOUT ME! HELLO!? WHERE IS MY FLOWER!?"

I wanted to echo her words because COME ON! You can't give ONE child all of the things and ignore the other children... Revi responded (as she so commonly does) to Bo's frustration by giving all of her flowers to Bo who then proceeded to tear the petals off with her teeth.

Revi screamed.

Bo screamed back.

Fable tried to repair the flowers.

Archer shook his head.

CHAOS ensued.

Feelings were hurt.

Resentment was palpable

Nobody was hungry.

We had enough food to feed 100 people.

"Check, please!"

...My kids may be each other's equals in our house but outside? In the real world? On the playground? In a restaurant on Mother's Day? Not so much.

And I get that. I accept that. Being loved by all people is not the goal. I regularly remind my kids that there will be plenty of people they meet in their lives (good people!) that they will NOT vibe well with. And there will be many people who meet them (good people!) who will not vibe well with them back. And these people may vibe well with siblings. And friends. And significant others. And that's okay. We are all drawn to different things in different people. We all appeal to different people differently... That doesn't make anyone less than.

And in this age of social media and the success being (improperly measured) in likes and shares, I find it paramount to stress the importance of properly recognizing one's self without peer recognition. Because popularity is arbitrary.

We are not the sum of the attention we receive... Don't let the "haters" get you down. Don't let the "lovers" make you delusional. You are a person! And you are mess! And you are amazing! Own it all and own yourself! And I know I sound very self help seminar right now but that shit is TRUE. 


You can read the post in it's entirety, here.  Happy Friday, everyone. 
Carnations for all...