And The Award For Worst Pick-Up Line EVER Goes To...

Today some old-and-hairy dude pulled over while I was taking a stroll with Archer and the dogs and asked me if I wanted another.

"Huh? Another?"

"Another baby," he said. "I would be happy to give you one." *WINK*WINK*

Unfortunately he drove off before I had the chance to laugh in his face for being such an assfarm*.

Do old-fogie-perverts think women like them to pull over and offer their sad-shriveled-sperm? I mean? What's even the point?

Let's just say hypothetically speaking I said:

"Why yes, sir! I would love to have your baby! In fact, hold these baggies of dog-poop for me while I strip naked right here in the middle of the street!"

I have a feeling he would have driven away even faster, which could only mean, Poopmonkey wanted to either: A. Pay me a compliment (seriously doubt it) or B. Make me feel like a victim. Unfortunately for him he C. Embarrassed himself.

Now I will feel sorry for him for .02 seconds.

Okay, I'm done.

...Oh and speaking of men who embarrass themselves (And yes, this is real):


*Assfarm (adj) -- A person BIGGER than an asshole, and completely full of shit. Horseshit and cowshit and sheepshit and chickenshit. And rotten eggs. And other stuff that stinks.


Lena | 9:18 PM

As. If.

Also, I am SO using assfarm in a sentence today.

Anonymous | 5:39 AM

Oh my god. Capitalism can be soooo fucking creepy. That dude is messed up.

Anonymous | 7:42 AM

Ugh. You should have thrown the dog poop at him. That would have been funnier. What an ass-clown (that's my favorite word!).

Kat | 7:50 AM

Eww. I have no idea what enters some people's brains! I wish you snapped a pic so we could all make fun of him!

Kellyology | 8:28 AM

OK...what was that??? ROFLMAO... I'm so glad I've left the corporate world. I'd be fired by now!

Anonymous | 10:29 AM

The sad thing is? That guy doesn't have such a bad voice. God. I hope they paid him well.


Dude. That guy needs a hug and a punch in the face and a record deal ALL AT ONCE. I feel so conflicted.

Acid-Candy | 7:35 PM

LMFAO omg..i had a creepy old guy at a mall say the exact same thing to me when my oldest was like 3 months old. I was 19 and this guy had to be about 40+ . *shudders*

mad muthas | 8:27 AM

PLEASE tell me that song is intended to ironic ... it isn't, is it?


I wish it was, Mad Muthas. I wish it was.

Anonymous | 4:54 PM

*DEFINITELY adding Assfarm to my vocabulary... And people wonder how words are added to the English language? BINGO! We have a winner!*

And on a side note, I get hit on while with my baby ALL THE TIME. I recently posted one of the more amusing attempts on my blog:!419C96F45030BED7!7119.entry

What is it about a mom? What is the MILF factor? What is it about a woman with a snotty baby by her side that makes her approachable? Someone please tell me!!!!! Let's bottle it, sell it, and make a fortune!

Unknown | 1:34 PM

I got asked out twice while pregnant. I guess there really is a healthy glow. (okay not related, but I never get asked out so it is a big deal to me)

Anyway, i get cat called by homeless dudes all the time on the way to work. I think to myself, what about that is suppose to make me want to play "hidethesausageintheshower".

the best was the other day i was crossing the street looking at this guys cavalier that he had totally pimped out. i was thinking to myself how silly it all was when i looked up and he was looking at me over his glasses nodding his head as if to say. "yay baby, want a ride. These cold chains could be yours." I accidentally laughed at him.

Anonymous | 3:58 PM

25 out of 25 associates in my department at b-of-a thought that clip was hilarious too.

He MEANS what he is singing, and that is WHY it's so sad.

Anonymous | 5:39 PM

If I get an erection while watching this video, does that mean I am sick?

Anonymous | 10:41 AM

Assfarm! WAYYY better than asshat. And so totally my new favorite word.