Tomorrow I take "the test" for the first time, and/or I join the mile-high-club (the non-sexual, more nerve-wracking one.)
And as someone who has never taken a child on an airplane I have several questions for you, my superiors:
1. What is your secret to a fulfilled flight? (If there even is such a thing.)
2. How do you occupy your child (at 18 months.) DVD's? Firecrackers? Beer?
3. What about the ear-popping? Does Wrigleys make Baby gum?
4. How does one watch a DVD on a tray-table WITH a baby on her lap. Isn't that squishy?
5. How much money does one bring to pay off the grouch baby-hater that I am assuming will be sitting right next to me?
6. Does Alaskan Airlines boycott breastfeeding and if so, should I fake like I'm nursing Archer to get a rise?
7. Am I freaking out for nothing or is flying-with-child as scary as it sounds?
8. Please don't answer the above question honestly. Lie, people. Tell me I have nothing to worry about.
Thank you in advance,