Good Parents

***UPDATED BELOW***... Thank you all for all of your enlightened posts. Keep them coming. I'll continue to update this page as you send me your links.*

You're all Good Parents... Scratch that-- you're AMAZING parents. And I thank you for your words of wisdom and empowerment:



Jill @ CooCoo Blog

I am proud of how I am able to maintain my composure when I am frustrated with him. Most of the time, I keep my cool, keep my voice down and lay down the law. It doesn't always work right away, but I find I can usually out-last him using that approach and if I don't, I haven't worked myself up into a frenzy in the meantime.


Christina @ A Mommy Story:

In other words, I am a good mom, despite what the media and experts and social scientists and sanctimommies might say. My daughter's needs are met, her wants are met within reason, she is happy and healthy, and I do my best to encourage her in her development. I'm in no way perfect, but I also know there's no such thing as a perfect parent. Who cares if Cordy isn't using the potty yet? I highly doubt she'll be going to college in diapers.

I refuse to let my entire self-worth be based on my evaluation as a parent, mostly because I don't believe there is such a thing as an accurate evaluation. Parenting is not black and white: between "good" and "bad" there is an enormous spectrum of grey. And so it is important that we moms and dads relax a little, let go of our need to downplay our successes in public, while at the same time stop flogging ourselves in private because we can't live up to some imaginary set of standards that are completely unreachable. Take off the hairshirt, people. Most of us are good parents - let's admit it and not be ashamed to look at our successes.

My daughter wakes up every day and wants nothing more than to hug me in the morning. She goes to bed with more hugs and says, "I love you." She is full of happiness, content with all she has. Her intelligence and curiosity are far-reaching, and there's a passion in everything she does, including her tantrums. She is loved and well cared for.

I'm a good mom.


Amanda @ Life With Briar

Last night we were on a walk. It was a lovely night, both girls were in high spirits and I felt like supermom with Avery on my chest in the Baby Bjorn and Briar walking beside me while holding my hand.



Heather @ Cool Zebras:


So there it is. I'm the best mommy ever for MY KIDS. I know how they think. I know what motivates them. I know what's best for them.

It matters little to me what other parents do. They're not in my home. They're not raising my unique children. I'm doing this Mommy thing my own way. And I think I'm doing most of it right.



Keri@ The Dream You are Living...:

As a parent, I have learned to just 'be' and let my son to just 'be.' Even if it means playing with dirt, sticks, rocks and disc-golf discs. I am confident that play is the only 'toy' he needs. After all, Einstein didn't have flashcards. In the end, I'm the best parent for MY child because I LOVE him. That's all he needs. I ROCK. Especially after PATIENTLY dealing with an infant that woke up every.single.frickin.hour.on.the.hour.for.one.WHOLE.year.

Karen Rani @ Troll-Baby:

Take it from someone who wishes those first 10 months of Thomas’ life had been spent with rays of laughter and love, not dark clouds of guilt and sadness. If you’re a mom now, or about to be, you are already sporting a spine of steel.

You are powerful.

Don’t let ANYONE make you feel like shit for making a decision that is right for YOU.

I’m glad I learned that. It made me a better mother than I was trying to be.



MetroMom:

Some other kid stole her pail and shovel. I magnanimously said not to worry.

When I noticed Cakes had a river of snot running from her nose into her mouth, I was able to wipe it away with a crumpled tissue (only used about twice) I had stowed in my pocket.

Two years into this gig and I’ve finally got it down.


Auburn Gal @ Auburn Gal Always:

...I know what's in her beautiful, little head by looking at her beautiful, big eyes. I know what's in her heart by listening to her sweet voice. I know when she doesn't feel well by looking at the color of her skin and can see fever in her eyes. I know what medicines to give and when she's faking that scratchy cough for attention. I know when she needs a nap just by watching her run frantically and melt-down emotionally. I know how to motivate her and encourage her...I know her. And I know her because I am a good mom.


Shawn @ Letters to my Daughters:

I read books to you even though you couldn't have cared less.

I held you as much as possible, even though that's really hard to do when you are by yourself with two babies.

When you throw a fit, instead of ignoring you, I hug you. Instead of deciding which of you is at fault in a daily squabble, I make sure you both know that that kind of treatment of each other will not be tolerated.

Being a Mama is not easy. It's very hard work. But, I'm good at it and I think it is exactly what I was meant to be.



Major Bedhead @ The Bookish One:

I kick ass at taking care of a child with a chronic disease. I've done it for 9 1/2 years and I've done a great job. I log, I stay on top of site changes, I keep on top of trends and variations and I change things as needed. I take her to the endocrinologist and the ophthalmologist and the pediatrician. I print out reams of information for caregivers. Most importantly, I know who to go to when I'm stumped, where to get an answer to a problem that invariably crops up at 2 a.m. on the Saturday of a long weekend. I'm not afraid to ask for help, to admit when something has me stumped. And I'm not afraid to listen to, and implement, answers I might not want to hear.


Joanne@ PunditMom:





Lawyer Mama:

You don't see me reading book after book after book to my little guys and loving it. You don't see me playing chase with the boys for 2 hours on a rainy afternoon to keep them entertained and happy. You don't see me calmly pick up a thrashing toddler off of the floor in Target and walk with my head high to the car, leaving my unpurchased booty behind in the name of consistent discipline. You don't see me confidently questioning my child's doctor when I don't agree with a treatment, or crying with him when he gets a shot.

As a mother, I rock.


GHD @ Quietly Shouting on the Inside:


I'm a good mom because for my son I find strength and patience I never knew I had.
When I had a bad day at work (when I was working), I would just get up and leave- sometimes just for a quick walk about the cube farm, sometimes for lunch, sometimes for the day... I just left until I could deal with it again. Well, I can't do that with my son. Doing a good job with him matters more to me than any project for work.

I'm a good mom because I love my son so much that I could eat him. As he leaves for for work in the morning, my husband will (jokingly) remind me, "Don't eat the baby today." I never do. Still, that kind of love is scary because I know if anything were to happen to him, it would hurt that much more. Yet, I'm willing to take the risk because I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm a good mom because no matter how challenging our day has been, I still look forward doing it all again tomorrow.

And, lastly... I'm a good mom because my son tells me so- every morning when I walk into his nursery and he beams at me, every day when he reaches out to hug me, and every evening when he won't go to sleep until I kiss him good-night.



Liz @ Mom-101:

I laughed at her of course, then forwarded the email onto friends so we could make sarcastic jokes at her expense. But in the back of my mind, I had to question whether I was a bad mom for the choice I had made.

The answer, I'm happy to say: A resounding no. I’m insecure butot so insecure that I will let any idiot with an agenda and an internet connection make me question my parenting instincts for more than a moment. And I think that alone makes me a pretty good mom.

To say nothing of the fact that I've got a good kid. Her grandparents will back me up on this one.


Heather @ In Te Domine:

I can breastfeed, potty train, buckle a shoe and pack my diaper bag all at the same time. I can make my 4 month old laugh with just a head jiggle and my toddler laugh with any well placed peek-a-boo (even when she's mad)...

...I know they are smart and beautiful and are amazing people. I know I am the perfect Mama for them and that they are just right for me.



Juggle Jane @ Welcome to the Juggle:

...Since the day he came into this world, I have not doubted one single decision I have made as his Mama. Granted, I have only been at this for 8 months, but I know that every decision I make for him, or about him, comes from love and with his best interests at heart. I am still an impatient person, but with Monkey, I have the patience of a saint....Mother’s Day is next week and it will be my first. And while it will be nice to get a card or a call or a gift, telling me what a great mom I am, I don’t need those things. I already know that I am a kick-ass mom.


Coma Girl:

I am a good mother because I love four children - three teenage boys and one baby girl. For these children I tend to their every need and necessity. I listen to their stories, jokes and dramas.


Kyran @ Notes to Self:

We may not always keep up with the Joneses, but they have bikes, books and bunkbeds, soccer, school and scouts, and most of the other privileges of being a middle class kid in America. We work hard at being whole people in a healthy relationship. Most times, I think my kids are as lucky to have us as we are to have them.


Raising The Boy:

I'm a great mom because in four years, I have never raised my voice out of anger. I have never struck out in any way shape or form, I have put him first. He knows that if we leave, we come back. That if we say something will happen (be it reward or consequence) it will happen. I believe this makes him confident. Most of all, Dylan is a happy child and knows he is loved to pieces. And that, alone, tells me I'm doing something right.

Heather @ The Queen of Shake-Shake:

I'm a good mother because I am his advocate and his voice while he is still too young to understand what is going on inside of him.

I'm a good mother because I now get that physical touch feels different to him and I ask if I can have a hug instead of just taking one. I give him the opportunity to decide what his body can handle at that moment and I respect him when he says no, not right now. I don't make him feel guilty for turning down affection from his mom.

I'm a great mother because I take him shopping to pick out his own clothes, even if it means going to two dozen stores and touching over 200 shirts to make sure they "feel right" to him.

I'm a great mother because I support his focused & very real passion for the ocean and all marine life. I do all that I can to encourage his love of nature & learn right along with him.

I'm an amazing mother because I try to peel back all of the things society labels as abnormal and know he is something more than I'll ever be.

I'm an amazing mother because I have faith that somehow all of his sensory issues and quirks will serve some higher purpose for him, even if I can't see how yet. I have faith in him.

Toyfoto @ Ittybit:

"... The mommy war can end with me.... Owning the blunders is one thing, owning the blessings is quite another.

So in that respect, I know I am a good mother. I feel a kind of confidence – especially in my early days of motherhood – I had not known previously. 'I COULD do this,' I told myself. I was patient. I was resourceful. I was as fearless as I’d ever been. I could admit to NOT knowing and still feel my way to a place of understanding."

Elizabeth @ Table of Five says:

When I was pregnant with my first son, I worried about it a little, whether I would be able to tell and show him my feelings or if I would be like my Mother. And then he was born, and there was no question about it. How could I not tell him how I felt about him, as often as possible? Covering his face with kisses, nuzzling his neck, and swooping him into my arms for hugs was like breathing to me. Now I am the Mother of three children, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that my children know I love them.

Kelly @ Kellyology:

...I am proud that I have a monstrously huge silly streak and can constantly make my children laugh to the pain. I am proud that I’m constantly educating myself trying to improve. I am proud that I can admit when I’ve made huge mistakes and rather that wallow in the guilt of those mistakes I find a way to deal with and learn from them. I am proud of the work that I’ve done with my son this year concerning his reading issues. I am proud that my son will still talk to me about “serious” stuff and that together we continue to find fun things to do even though he is at the stage where all parents are embarrassing and annoying. I am proud that I have taught my daughter to stand up and be recognized even if it is inconveniently loud at times! I am a totally awesome parent!


Catherine @ Her Bad Mother:

Yes, I am a good mother: I love my daughter and I make sure that she's always surrounded by much, much love and joy and laughter.

The Weirdgirl:

I like who I am as a mom. I have no interest in changing myself or my writing to fit into some standard of mommy blogging (which currently involves insisting that one is a bad parent) that’s popular, to solicit more comments or readers, to fit in with the (apparent) majority ...I’m going to do what’s right for MY kid and I feel confident that I can figure that out. And you know what? Chance is happy. That more than anything makes me feel like I’m doing great as a mom.

Maternal Mirth
:

I know I am a damn good parent and I have some damn good kids. Those are the facts of my life


Mo-Wo:

I can't take people taking down my nerve. I need to sustain my powers of positive thinking and duh some confidence... I know the fearlessness. Only because I know the fear. Resist.

I noted in my comments on the comments that it is PERHAPS sorry news that just as so many have worked to ensure systems no longer abnormalize pregnancy.. post-partum life is so consistently feared. I have spent time since the post contemplating the necessity of keeping my nerve.. my confidence.. my post-partum happiness off the blog. But, in the words of my daughter, FUCK IT.

Kate @ KateB Handmade:

I am a good mom because I trust my gut and let Ella guide me through this maze. Because I let her explore the world on her own terms, but I am always just a step behind if she gets freaked out by it all. I am a good mom because I am a good person, with strong morals and a kind, forgiving heart. I am a good mom because even on days when I am a bad mom and can barely keep us fed and dressed in clean clothes, I still play music at lunchtime.

Bev @ Bev's Bits:

I can be there for my girls... really be there. I can give them the support and encouragement they need because of my inner peace. My girls and I have fun when we are together... We share stories and laugh. They confide in my about boy troubles and girl friend troubles. I provide a loving home
Karen @ Needs New Batteries:

I used to worry a lot more and compare myself to other moms, but I'm done with that now. We go outside when we want; I'm not a bad mother because I won't take them out it to play in the rain. And if I do take them out to play in the rain, it'll be because I want to, not because the neighbors are doing it. They get some "screen time," but not too much. They have scheduled activities, but not too many. I cook healthy food, but allow treats. And when we have birthday cake, it's the good stuff. I kinda like the way I'm running this ship and I think my kids like it too.

Chef's Widow:

...I look back on how I have done as a mother. How do I judge myself? Do I relish in the fact that my son eats vegetables and drinks milk every day, brushes his own teeth and adores Cat Stevens? Should I give myself a pat on the back for this? More often than not, I don't. I skip the celebration of my motherhood because I don't have the time. I am a prego mother of a toddler boy. I don't sit down. I dance. And I love it. I can't wait to do it all over again

Molly @ No Hipsters (welcome to the blogosphere, lady):

...But I like how I am with him. I feel like the best version of myself with him. I like that I trust my instincts when it comes to him. I like that I have instincts to trust. I like me, as a parent. I’m the kind of parent I would have wanted.

And he likes hot sauce on everything but his cereal. I don’t know if the fact that Max is quirky makes me a good parent, but it definitely makes him a good kid.


Or, if not a good kid, at least it makes him mine.

Erin @ The Looney Bin:

In addition to the things I "should" do, I trust my instincts... This is my job. And I love it. I think I am doing a pretty good job of it, too. I never thought I would like this Mom gig as much as I do.
Momomax:

The discussion boards never fail to make me question myself and other parents about being right or wrong about issues. It sometimes finds me on the dark side of the truth and I’ll realize that I’ve made mistakes. In the end, it simply distracts me from knowing this: I am, in fact, a good parent, and I’m glad to know it.

Shiri @ Tiny Love:

I’m good because... I trust my instincts. I don’t rely on guidebooks, but on common sense. I’m good because I’m taking the time to be with my children, even if we sometimes spend this time fighting. I’m good because I overcome my impatience, my nastiness, my know-it-all-ness for my children. Or, at least, I try. I’m good because I trust my children and allow them the freedom and independence they deserve... I’m good because I feel good about what I’m doing as a parent. I feel right.

I’m sorry, it’s neither witty nor funny, but that’s the truth. Being a mom is the one thing I have done in my life that I’ve felt completely confident about, and I don’t plan to apologize for that.


...........................

For more words of empowerment, check out the wise words of women who posted their awesomeness in the comments section of my post.

Wanna be in on the action? Just post a link to your Good Parent post, here, and rock on with your GOOD selves.

...........................

GGC

6 comments:

Maternal Mirth | 9:42 AM

GGC - great mom, creative soul, hot stuff and just the woman to step up for all the mommies out there ... just in time for Mother's Day.

Ladies, rock on and get your Mom on! :)

M&M

Anonymous | 10:02 AM

I was terrified when I gave birth. Reality hit me all at once. This tiny, sleepy, perfect person was my daughter and I was responsible for keeping her safe. It was the first time that I felt like it was completely possible that I could kill someone if they ever tried to hurt her.

My own childhood was made all the more painful in the moment that I became a mother. I wasn't ok with my childhood anymore because now I understood that it wasn't just a jumble of bad memories. Everything that I thought I understood about my childhood now had this giant question attached to it: How could she do that do her own child? It's a question that remains unanswered because I don't have it in me to ask. It's a question that makes me hug my daughter as often and as long as she'll let me.

I am a good mother because what was passed down from woman to woman in my family as far back as anyone can remember stops with me and my daughter. I am a good mother because I made a decision to be.

me | 10:56 AM

so here's the thing, I used to feel like a great mom. This past year I honestly have to wonder did I really do as well as I thought? My oldest is 17, and the things we have dealt with this year. Some is normal teen angst, but some, not so much. Wondering where and if I went wrong and attempting to figure it out so as not to have to go through it with the younger 2 keeps me up at night and my back in knots.

Was I such a good mom that my son is being normal? Something I did NOT know at 17, or was I so busy being sure I was a "good" mom, that I missed something very important along the way?

Good moms or bad, this gig is TOUGH, and we all are doing the best we know how, which I guess is why I'm a good mom....I know I may not be perfect, but I am the best I know how to be.

mom2pnuts | 11:44 AM

I am a good mom becasue I am providing for my WHOLE family (Daddy stays home). My two boys are thoughtful, loving, tender souls. They ask for kisses and hugs as I leave for work in the morning. I make sure they have their needs met...and make sure they know they don't "need" everything.
I am a good mom because I am constantly suprised when people (mostly of the "greatest generation") stop at our table in restaurants and remark how well behaved my children are.
I am a good mom beacause I love their dad and make sure he knows it.
I am a good mom because my children are well rounded.....we go to the theatre, get dirty in the garden, do arsty-crafsty stuff, and *I* can throw a football.
I am a force to be reckoned with.

Anonymous | 4:24 PM

omg. not to be cliche, but these posts are making me look like a bad-you-mo-know-ther-what -- futher confirming my suspicions. thanks. bmc.

Mary G | 11:15 AM

This is a great topic and it needs to be said. I just found your blog and I love it.
I am a good enough mother because my kids turned out fine. Some slightly bent corners, but not too bad.
I am presently trying to figure out how to be a good enough grandmother -- completely different kettle of fish.
It's often the bad news that's funny, or preoccupies the poster. And makes us all nod our heads and say 'Yeah, me too!' Which helps to make us a community, hmm?