All The Lonely People

photo credit: littlefoodies

Some very interesting points were made in the comments section here and at my SFTB post, The Art of Loneliness. I was afraid I might have been presumptuous assuming what I have been going through was universal, but as it turns out (parent or not) we are all trying to find a way off our islands, innocently flirting with the idea of jumping into the sea to fight pirates and sharks and the current, fantasizing about rebelling against our solitude.

I have been thinking quite a bit these last few days about isolation and whether or not we confine ourselves, not because we're masochists but because it is easier that way. Because when a child is born he naturally becomes first priority, making it harder to make or sustain friendships or relationships of any kind.

There is a scene in Little Children when Kate Winslet is sitting on opposite bench from the other mothers who sit neatly in a row, seemingly secure and content. Winslet is obviously "the outsider" in the scene but only because the movie was her story. I look at those mothers, both fictional and in the flesh at the park I frequent and I think, "they are just as on the outside as I am."

Because popular girls are just as lonely as the so-called "misfits". Maybe even more so. I've been on both sides of the electric fence. I think many of us have.

So what to do? I am afraid the questions are endless but the answers are few. I think perhaps the answers will arrive as we come to understand what we are looking for, the hypothetical lifesaver to our boatman's call allowing us to embrace island life in whatever way that makes it tolerable. Creating for instance. Creating music or art, creating collages or a beautiful garden. Something. So long as we remember to include ourselves in its creation from time to time: all the while remembering we're not alone in our loneliness.

Thank you.



Anonymous | 2:20 PM

Nicely put. I think after having children we have to rediscover who we are all over again. Our priorities are changed and that ultimately changes who we are. As a mother though, we have to make sure to revisit as to what makes us an individual. I have really been struggling with this for the past few years...

Unknown | 2:47 PM

yes - very well put and thank you for sharing. i have often thought that I may be the only lonely person out there - good to remember that maybe we're all lonely in on way or another.

BabyonBored | 6:25 PM

Listen bitch, you think you've got problems? I may have to buy a minivan very soon. Then there will be absolutely no resemblence between who I was Prekid and who I will be now.

But, OMG your book cover is so awesome!!! It's all about the cover and this one will leap off the shelves! You scored.

Anonymous | 7:29 PM

"It's all about the cover and this one will leap off the shelves! You scored."

Um, and she's a FUCKING AWESOME WRITER. It's a little bit about that too...