photo credit: littlefoodies
Some very interesting points were made in the comments section here and at my SFTB post, The Art of Loneliness. I was afraid I might have been presumptuous assuming what I have been going through was universal, but as it turns out (parent or not) we are all trying to find a way off our islands, innocently flirting with the idea of jumping into the sea to fight pirates and sharks and the current, fantasizing about rebelling against our solitude.
I have been thinking quite a bit these last few days about isolation and whether or not we confine ourselves, not because we're masochists but because it is easier that way. Because when a child is born he naturally becomes first priority, making it harder to make or sustain friendships or relationships of any kind.
There is a scene in Little Children when Kate Winslet is sitting on opposite bench from the other mothers who sit neatly in a row, seemingly secure and content. Winslet is obviously "the outsider" in the scene but only because the movie was her story. I look at those mothers, both fictional and in the flesh at the park I frequent and I think, "they are just as on the outside as I am."
Because popular girls are just as lonely as the so-called "misfits". Maybe even more so. I've been on both sides of the electric fence. I think many of us have.
So what to do? I am afraid the questions are endless but the answers are few. I think perhaps the answers will arrive as we come to understand what we are looking for, the hypothetical lifesaver to our boatman's call allowing us to embrace island life in whatever way that makes it tolerable. Creating for instance. Creating music or art, creating collages or a beautiful garden. Something. So long as we remember to include ourselves in its creation from time to time: all the while remembering we're not alone in our loneliness.