Calamity and Jane... Never the Same

All I have done for the past week is laugh. I'm home now and feel a little like I did when I went to London and fell in love with a man on a dance floor and had to leave the next day. I've been crying in my soup. Missing BMC, her husband Boyband who I adore beyond belief...

...and her kids. Adorable and Adorablest.

I'm obsessed with the idea of moving the family to Portland just as all of my favorite L.A. boutiques have already done and it's no wonder. Indeed PDX is the perfect urban setting for young, creative parents with a passion for cafe-culture and rain-rock.

Chicago was beautiful as well but I would have liked to have explored the nooks and crannies beyond the well-to-do neighborhood where we stayed the better part of a week. Next time me thinks. Not that we didn't explore... I would have just liked to have spent more time doing so, maybe during normal office hours.

Erik's porch on our only outside-downtown adventure

Dana and I have made about 16793 videos over the last week of our honeymoon together, some of which have been already posted: me freaking a wax fireman, a drunken breakfast where I look like a (constipated) G.I. Jane with a bowl-cut, our carriage video (below) and plenty more where those came from. I don't want to run duplicate videos so I'll keep directing all interested parties to her, the north star of all things entertaining.

It's hard to make friends. The real kind of friend who you want to stay up with just to hear what kind of interesting and hilarious things they are going to say next. I realize eyes may roll upon reading this post and many have made comments about Blogher being cliquey, but I think the whole idea of meeting the people/person you have been eyeing from the interwebs is making whole friendships. Cliques form when people feel comfortable around one another. Groups form when like-minded people realize they have the same love for vodka tonics and sex toys. The same style of parenting, clothes, conversation. It's all about connection at the end of the day and very rarely does one get to truly connect to another person. For better or for worse, for whatever reasons shallow and/or profound.

There is nothing better than falling in love with like-minded women. There is nothing so fun as staying up for 48 hours running around town like a couple of Banshees, crashing biker gangs and raiding the mini bar, going on late-night missions to "wherever the road will take us and hopefully we won't get shot in the face." There is nothing better than spending time with friends who feel like family. Being assholes and loving each other more for it. It's been a long time since I have felt so comfortable around people outside my family. Maybe even forever.

I knew Dana before Blogher but I never knew how much I could love someone until we spooned for a week. Until we exchanged everything but bodily fluids (maybe next time.)

Honestly, I don't know what else to say besides, I'm heartbroken to be so far from her right now. I feel like someone just punched me in the heart.

What BMC's homemade-shirts say is true: Vaginas really ARE for lovers. Her vagina, especially.

look for Vagina is for Lovers shirts coming soon...

In fact, I would dare to say that from this point on we might just live happily ever after, reliving our adventures over and over on youtube for all eternity.

Or at least until I can move my family to Portland and we can start our very own karaoke commune. (Seriously. How can one not fall in love with a woman who makes videos with poorly lit karaoke shots. Best. love letter. ever.)




online public mutual masturbation is a beautiful thing, no?

Mom101 | 9:18 PM

You're just cliquey bitches? Is that what this whole post is about?

Oh wait - it's about girlie soulmatey-ness Okay. That's cool too.

Wyvern | 11:59 PM

Holy crap... you have to move to Portland! Because then you are closer to Canada and it gives me a reason to visit Portland (and a couch to sleep on)

I'm going to visit my best girl in 2 weeks on the other side of the country. I caaaan't wait! Hopefully our adventures will be as exciting as yours. ;)

Anonymous | 6:54 AM

I love the connection you all have made. I hope to find mine someday.

Thanks for all the laughs you two!

Anonymous | 7:49 AM

What you said about it being hard to make real, true friends? I think it's so true. Finding someone you really connect with can seem impossible congratulations on finding your bossom buddy. And if I roll my eyes, it's not because I want it any less for you. It's because I want more of it for myself.

Anonymous | 11:11 AM

what tiffany said. exactly.

Anonymous | 11:57 AM

I don't know why, but this post made me cry. It's hard to make real, honest, good friends. People you want to know everything about, whether it be big or small. Someone you love to be around, and can be your complete self around.

Thank you for this.

Julie Marsh | 3:24 PM

Hearing about friendships like yours make me want to spoon you both. I'm glad to have gotten a few hugs and some quality time at the very least.

And it is probably really wrong to say this, but Dana's husband is really really really cute.

Anonymous | 4:37 PM

Hey mothergoosemouse, what's your number?

M | 9:38 PM

You're absolutely right, I think. At least for me those connections aren't easy to find. How lucky for you both that you found it in each another. Now where's my soulmate friend? I'm still looking . . .

Anonymous | 3:44 PM

fuckin delicious cookies arent they. im glad you peeps found eachother.

Anonymous | 6:50 PM

Sounds like you have yourself a soul sister! A truly wonderful thing to have. Lucky, lucky!

PDX is a wonderful place, I can vouch for that. Would be exciting to have a celebrity move here! :-)