On the Road Again

This has been a month of renovations. Of building and tearing down and room ad-ons and new beginnings and of course, conclusions. Of asking myself over and over what I want. Out of life and work and people. Out of friends and strangers. Out of marriage and motherhood and myself.


There is no way to know for sure where the dirt road ends. The bumpier the road, the greater the risk, but also, the greater the view. Then again, there are plenty of trails that lead nowhere. Plenty of times one reaches her destination-- only to find it is exactly the place from whence she started.

Catherine recently wrote of having so much to say but being unable to say it-- at least to the world. This is how the last six-weeks have been. I am filled to the brim with secrets, flailing to stay afloat, regaining my self-control and stumbling wide-eyed down sewer pipes in my own underground. Feeling far more like a child than a woman and yet, at the same time, all grown-up: skipping down the street in pig-tails with a briefcase, and a boy on my shoulders. A boy who new to the world of English language, calls me by my first name.

I am finally back to work on what I love: fiction. Retiring from other projects and moving forward on my own. And even though it is wonderful traveling with others, the most learned journey is the one traveled by herself. Even though no one is ever really alone when they have family, and friends like safety nets under the trapeze.


What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's goodbye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.

-Jack Kerouac

I don't know where the hell I'm going. But I do know what I want to bring on my journey and more importantly, what I need to leave behind. And that, I am sure, is all I need to know for now.

GGC

*photography by Wynn Bullock

20 comments:

Fairly Odd Mother | 4:16 AM

If you know what you need to bring, and what you need to leave behind, you'll be fine. It's the extra baggage that weighs us down.

Scarlett | 5:27 AM

you are just perfect. i love you.

Motherhood Uncensored | 7:00 AM

Sometimes I really believe that life, in its way, is a circle. The journey is fascinating, but all roads lead to "home."

About me | 7:20 AM

Hope you find your path Rebecca - your writing has touched a lot of people.

Don Mills Diva | 7:22 AM

Godspeed whatever road you choose -thanks for another lovely piece of writing

T with Honey | 7:23 AM

You may not know exactly where you are going but you definitely have a general direction in mind. And you're moving that way.

I have no idea which direction I want to go so I just stay where I am, doing what I'm doing hoping I'll figure it out some day.

Good for you!

whoorl | 8:53 AM

I can't wait to see where your journey leads. The future holds nothing but greatness for you.

mfk | 9:16 AM

love those photographs, especially the first one. amazing. good luck on your journey and don't forget to bring a towel :)

bitemycookie | 10:10 AM

everything fairly odd mother said, i wish i beat her to it. the end.

superblondgirl | 4:25 PM

Hey, as long as you keep blogging here... I hope you share your fiction stuff, too, I love the way you write.

Where are the pictures from? They're both gorgeous... they remind me of some stuff my husband has traded his Flickr buddies for. The trees in #2 break my heart, they're so beautiful.

BOSSY | 4:55 PM

How do you spell t-r-a-n-s-i-t-i-o-n?

You probably know all the answers.

Aimee | 4:58 PM

you truly have a gift when it comes to words. i also love your blog.

Mom101 | 7:22 PM

I am honored to be your safety net.

Any time, lady. Any time.

Lauraszoo | 7:43 PM

All big journeys start with small steps, just make sure you packed your comfy shoes. Good luck on your journey, I hope you share it with us.

FENICLE | 6:58 AM

Follow your heart & you'll always be on the right path.

foodiemama | 7:56 AM

i'd bet a million that you are headed somewhere wonderful! keep it going!

Heather | 9:09 AM

Ah yes, the dirt road to who knows where. I'm on one of those myself. Hugs to you on your journey.

gorillabuns | 7:56 AM

what really matters about any journey you take is the people you chose to let ride along and help when you get a flat tire along the way.

Shawn | 2:50 PM

So much of this post has been in my head the last few days. I've always been a dreamer, living among the clouds, but reality has set in like the plague lately and the fog will not lift. My feet are firmly on the ground, and I'm not sure which step to take next, or if another step is even possible.

Regardless, enjoy your journey. Bumps and all. That's really all we can do.

Anonymous | 8:56 PM

Wynn Bullock's "Child on a Forest Road" taken on Partington Ridge Road in Big Sur (California) one of the great American photographs!