By the Time We Get There, It Will Be Over

It sounds like an album title or one of those band names that has to be printed really small in order to fit the whole name on the cover of a CD but, no. It's just life-- THE life of a two-year-old and his mother.

The problem with toddler activities is that, they, no matter what they are or where they are happening, are ALWAYS scheduled to late one measly hour. 10:00-11:00 for Music Together. 10:30-11:30 for Storytime at the library. 11:00-12:00 Hollywood Bowl world-music dance-party-theatre thing (which, sadly, is over.)

I'm big on promptness. I may be high maintenance. Okay, very high-maintenance but fashionably late I am usually, not. Er... At least I didn't used to be. Now, I'm always late. I'm the latest person alive. In fact, in the last several months, Archer and I have missed nearly every appointment we have made, arriving at the tail end of any and all activities.

Tickets? Sorry. The performance has already started. You'll have to watch from the sidelines.

At this point I have resigned myself to timeliness. If you invite us to meet you at 10? We'll be there at 11. Because breakfast takes three hours to finish and the dogs will need a walk and Archer won't want to get dressed and then, by the time I pack up the stroller or the car with snacks and wipes and ten bottles of water, Archer will poop. The SECOND I seat him in his car seat he will drop the stinkiest of stink bombs and BOOM, we're back to square one. Ugh.

Today, as always, we arrived at our local library Storytime forty-five minutes late. Which, like I said, was to be expected. We swung open the double doors of the library just in time to hear, "... The End."

Luckily, we were meeting friends who although on time, were happy to spend an hour with us running around an empty library. The "after party" so to speak:

Better late than never is indeed the truth, and anyway, in my experience the fun stuff is what happens after hours. After school. After closing. After the fact. Whatever the "fact" may be.

I know! Let's crawl through the tiny space in the stand of the book spinny thing! Woo!

But just in case, please know, that if you ever invite Archer and me to meet you at the local park, we'll probably see you just as you're getting ready to leave.

At least, for now.



karengreeners | 5:20 AM

Ah, the perfectly-timed poop. Making mothers late for centuries.
At least you don't have to worry about winter and snowsuits.

Scar | 7:15 AM

it's okay. I'm late always and I don't even have a kid. I just can't get myself on schedule.

Anonymous | 8:06 AM

I was usually on time, early in fact, when I was the mother to one. Now, that there are 2 of them, forgetaboutit. I am always late, even when I just have one of them. I, also, forget very important items, can't remember appointments, and need to be told several times who people are. I think they have finally taken my brain and they are never going to give it back.

Anonymous | 9:17 AM

I was never prompt to begin with so you can imagine what it's like now. It's better on those days I don't take shower, then I slightly less late... and stinky.

(And frankly, if it's not a specific timed event I really don't stress about it. It's not like that park/city/friend's house is going anywhere.)

motherbumper | 11:09 AM

I have been singing this song since giving birth. I used to be the most on-time person (except where fashionably late applied) but since becoming a "we", WE are chronically late for everything - EVERYTHING. I read you loud and clear GGC.

Anonymous | 12:03 PM

I'm always, always late. And high maintenance. I don't even have the diaper excuse anymore. I've spent my whole life running late to everything - I was late to MY OWN WEDDING. That's when you know you have issues. So if we were to meet at the playground, you'd probably be waiting for me.

Lindsay | 12:39 PM

yes, I was just telling Liz Cushnie that I wasted lots of moo-la on the summer session for Music Together, didn't make it to one class!! Due to sickness, travel, now just too embarrassed to show up.
I'm going to go to the Bowl series next summer, at least one.

Julie Marsh | 5:42 PM

That poop is my downfall. Although the "find your shoes!" game runs a close second.

toyfoto | 10:03 PM

I used to be one of those annoying persons who always arrived early. Now, I'm lucky if I can get to my destination on the right day . ... If I have on matching shoes? All the better.

BOSSY | 11:20 AM

Maybe it's not that you're late - perhaps it's that you're early for *next week's* activity?

tricia | 3:52 PM

i was also one who was never late. it made me completely nerurotic to even think i may be late. when my daughter was born i gave into the fact that i was occasionally late for the same reasons as you. when the twins came along i just gave up period. i haven't been on time since. i'm married to a speed bump and mother to 3 little anchors. i have learned to accept life as it comes. being on time is way over rated.

Phoenix | 5:52 PM

Better late than early. I am an on time kind of chick....course I have no kids, but I can't imagine how it feels to be the early person. The one who spend their time waiting.

I guess you can always tell people that you're on time and they're early. Then look at your watch and tell them you must have forgotten to take it off of....whatever time works for you. Alaskan or something? They may figure it out eventually though.

Mom101 | 3:39 PM

Pathetic story of my life. Like Patricia, I haaaated being late. Now I'm the person who people lie to about the reservation time so I'll make it on time.

And every time we hit a street fair or block party, the band is packing up. Sigh.