The Good, The Bad and The Disgusting

Something stinks in suburbia. Or wherever the hell we live. First the sewage issue, which for those who asked had to do with a tree root attacking the pipe and somehow reversing the flow of... ahem... which filled the bathtub with... ahem... and overflowed from the toilet creating quite an... um... splash. OF HELL. Let's just say, I will never take a bath again. Anywhere. Or at least not for a while. I'm also scared to even step foot in my bathroom. Poop is literally haunting my dreams in very new ways.

But whatever. That was Sunday. It's Tuesday, now, and I've moved on, except today brought a new kind of stink. A new kind of... ahem.

Basically, it went like this: Archer chugged a liter of water on our daily stroll to the local boulevard. We had lunch with friends. Browsed Soleil's new organic baby store, which had its grand opening last week. Had Pinkberry for dessert. La-di-da... I noticed a drip, drip... drip. On the pavement... coming from... my dress, which was soaked.... With urine. Apparently Archer's water chug-a-thon was more than his Huggie could handle. He soaked through his diaper. Then his pants. Then my dress. And my leggings. Awesome.

Unfortunately, even though I had seemingly packed the entire contents of my house in my new humongous stroller, I didn't bring a change of clothes for Archer. A diaper, yes. But no change of clothes. And obviously no change of clothes for me. But, whatever. Being peed on is no where near as bad as being stranded ten blocks from home with a stroller the size of Texas and a soaked child with no change-of-clothes. I had no choice but to strip him down on the sidewalk and wrestle a new diaper on him in the grass of someone's yard. Of course, I had nothing to dress him in, so once I got the diaper on him, he took off running down the boulevard in nothing but a diaper and socks.

"Archer! Come back!"

But he wasn't listening.

Soaked in urine, I chased after him, finally wrestling him to the ground. "Your shoes! At least, we should put on your shoes!"

He was embarrassed was the thing. He was mortified. He looked up at me with this sort of understanding sadness. He had peed his pants in public and he understood. I carried him the six blocks home. In a diaper and Vans. Soaked in urine. Pushing my huge yellow stroller. And I cried. Because it was a long day. A long weekend. Because shit happens and you flush the toilet. But sometimes it isn't so easy. Sometimes a little boy drinks too much water and soaks through his clothes. Sometimes a tree root breaks a sewage pipe and suddenly there is shit all over the bathroom. And sometimes it's too much to handle. Even for me, who has everything. Who is healthy and happy most of the time. I mean... Who am I to even flinch at pee on my dress and poop on my shoes when there are so many people who live in pain and discomfort? Every fucking day. Who have to get on an airplane and fly home to nobody. To a hospital. Full of doctors. Nice doctors, sure. But still...

Bathroom rugs can be thrown away. Dresses can be dry-cleaned. There is always tomorrow, after a bad day. There is always waking up fresh and new. For me. But not for everyone. And that's fucked. Totally fucking fucked.

I dropped Scarlett off at the airport today. I hate saying goodbye. It was hard enough leaving her the last time, getting on a plane and going home. But this time was even more difficult. Because I was sending her back, alone and NO ONE should have to deal with Cancer alone. Especially someone who kicks everyone else's ass when it comes to being amazing. Someone who deserves to have a home. And an infinite supply of kisses on the cheeks. And no more pain.



Fairly Odd Mother | 4:22 AM

Yeah, Scarlett, and so many like her, definitely deserve better.

Hang in there---that poo overflow would send me into shock. At least pee dries clear! I was on my way to a mutual friend's baby shower in the cab when my 1 year old peed ALL OVER me--my mom had put on his diaper and not known that you need to point the penis down, not up. It was a lovely afternoon to be dressed up, going to an out-of-town baby shower, with a huge pee mark on my skirt and top. And you wonder why he is now 3 and I haven't embraced potty training yet? I may send him to college in diapers.

karengreeners | 5:30 AM

Aw dude, pee and poop on your shoes only send a person over the top when they've had to do something like put their friend with cancer back on a plane. Doesn't sound like you're ungrateful to me.

Heather | 6:34 AM

My heart hurts after reading this.

Anonymous | 6:50 AM

Thanks for the post today, it's an honest and inspiring perspective, and I really enjoyed reading it...

Shout out to Scarlett too....

clueless but hopeful mama | 9:22 AM

Those rough days, the ones where poop overflows and pee leaks, have always sucked. Somehow, for me at least, becoming a mother makes it all so much more intense. I can imagine the look on Archer's face. I can imagine the feeling in your heart. As moms, we're supposed to remember it all, we're supposed to take care of it all. And we can't. And that sucks.

And it sucks beyond what I can comprehend to put your dear friend with cancer on a plane and say goodbye.

Here's hoping tomorrow is much much better. Because being mom makes those days more intense too.

kittenpie | 9:49 AM

Ugh. It sucks being peed on in public, it really does, but you are exactly right. Sadly right. We have it easy.

Anonymous | 10:33 AM

just because you have it "easy" doesn't mean it rocks to get peed on. and have shit all over your bathroom. sorry about that. that sounds horrible, I probably would have had the house demolished and torched ;)

hugs to scarlett-

Tiffany | 10:53 AM

There are a ton of people how deserve better. We can't help them all, but by you being there for Scarlett you are doing a good thing.

And no matter what, it sucks ass to get peed on.

BOSSY | 11:58 AM

Bossy has had many similar shitty and pissy days. They pass. Sorry your pal left.

Lisa Dunick | 12:07 PM

Thanks for your post and many warm wishes to Scarlett for brighter days ahead...

dvl | 1:02 PM

you are awesome.

from one mom to another.



Scar | 1:08 PM

i looooove you. I'm sorry about Archer's accident but good thing we had Lauren to escape to during the bathroom episode. I'll be back soon to visit :)

Anonymous | 3:07 PM

it always does make me feel bad when i complain and then realize that someone, somewhere has it worse. but that doesn't mean that we can't have bad days too. i think we just need to realize in the end that we are lucky that it's only poop or only pee or only a naked toddler running down the block. of course that realization only comes after we've screamed or cried or not cleaned the house for a week because the kids are only going to mess it up again in five minutes...argh!!!!

and boo hoo for scarlett going home :(

Leigh C. | 5:35 PM

Ohhh, dear.

Life is so pissy sometimes. Shit just HAPPENS.

Hang in there... ;-)

b*babbler | 7:50 AM

I wish I had something witty or inspiring or uplifting to share, but really, all I can say is that sucks. It truly does.

Hang in there, and I'll be sending wishes up for Scarlett.

Anonymous | 11:55 AM

Most of life's messes can be cleaned up in one way or another. It's so hard to contemplate those that can't.