Big Trouble In Little Vagina

Okay, so you guys were totally right about me needing to dump doc and find someone more kosher. Yesterday I spent approximately eight hours on the phone. After interviewing everyone I could and bestfriending one of the Health Net phone representatives I got everything figured out. At least for now.

In the words of Kristin Cavallari, me and the dicktor are "so totally dunzo."

Archer and I were able to separate our groups so although I do have to change my primary physician, Archer can stay with his pediatrician. (That rhymed!) I'm hoping the OB I chose will be the anti-dickdock. All signs are pointing to a much better situation. (He looked nice on google images. His office is within walking distance from my house and he's done a lot of really cool shit. Plus he has a reputation for having good beside manner.) Of course, I wanted a woman but was unable to find any local female docs who delivered at Cedars, which is where Archer was born and where I feel most comfortable. (I gave birth in what looked and felt like a hotel room. There's a reason Cedars is the premiere choice for celebrity childbirth.) Of course, if this new doc isn't superman, I'll ditch him, too and keep right on looking until I find "the one." Because a lady shouldn't spread her legs for anyone less than a gentleman (or gentlewoman.) Plain and simple, vagina doctors shouldn't be dicks.

And for those interested in seeing a 7 week, 3 day upside-down Red Ant looking creature. Drum roll please....

Is it not the spitting image of Hal? Totally, right?

Anyway, thanks to all of you for being my doulas dot com. So awesome that I get to spend this pregnancy with strong, supportive mothers (and fathers) and not alone.



Anonymous | 2:30 PM

You had me at "vagina".

(That kid must be an alien baby or something because, I mean, LOOK AT IT! THAT'S LEVITATION, HOLMES!)

(You have a very nice uterus. Who's your decorator?)

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Gina | 3:01 PM

So glad you were able to work something out. And I hope this guy is "the one" so you don't have more to figure out.

My fave lines from this post?

"...and he's done a lot of really cool shit."

"...vagina doctors shouldn't be dicks."

Anonymous | 3:09 PM

glad you went elsewhere. you're right, "vagina doctors shouldn't be dicks." i hope the new one works out.

KaritaG | 3:16 PM

YAY, am glad you got things worked out and Archer can keep his doctor!

Maternal Mirth | 3:32 PM

Cedars so totally rocks the birthing world!

Good luck with the new oh-bee ... and bestest of luck with the new bay-bee :) I like to rhyme, too...


Chris | 4:51 PM

I think the Red Ant favors you.

Anonymous | 4:55 PM

Yeah, a dick is supposed to get the baby in there, NOT supposed to get the baby out. Congrats on finding "the one" for "the #2."



Sharon | 4:59 PM

Yay on new non-dick-doc! non-doc-dick? Hope all goes well with this new one.

toyfoto | 7:39 PM

That is one red ant that doesn't bite!

Rock on, mama! You done gud!

Sonja Streuber, PMP(R), SSBB | 8:54 PM

Is it my perception or is dick-ness particularly concentrated in the ob/gyn discipline?

Unknown | 9:17 PM

Yay for Ant Fetus! I've never seen such a hot one before, and I actually think it looks more like you than Hal (aside from the absence of hair). See? The girl theory!

Meanwhile, you're clearly inspiring people here. I mean, I can't even attempt to follow up all those awesome comments to your awesome post. So I'll just say: No pussies on the maternity ward! Yipee for the new OB! xoxo

Anonymous | 9:22 PM

Glad to hear you were able to move on! No one needs that crap with their hoo-hoo.

(The Ant is already adorable.)

Unknown | 10:19 PM

I'm really pleased you got a whole lot of support for changing your doctor. I have a three week old so the experience is fresh here and it's so important that your docotr is awesome. I gave birth to twins and one was stillborn - nobody's fault. Without our fabulous doctor it would have been much harder to keep going.

Your first doctor sounded like a patronising shit! Good luck with the new one and the rest of your pregnancy.

Mom101 | 5:19 AM

I am so glad I'm not the only person who google images potential doctors (etc).

Red ant! So exciting!

Anonymous | 6:50 AM

I'm so glad you found a solution. Were I in your position, I'd make sure Dick Doc knew why I was leaving his service.

Norm | 8:51 AM

It's kind of shocking to admit this, but we have had one or two positive experiences with HealthNet representatives on the phone, too. It's almost enough to make one think HMOs aren't quintessentially evil ... naaaah.


Style Police | 9:15 AM

Glad you've been shopping around for an OB you like - BUT!!! Why don't you find a MIDWIFE you like??? Dare I suggest it?

We don't listen in to the baby's heartbeat in England until about 16 weeks - it's too hard for us to find with our little sonicaid & women freak out if we can't find the heartbeat almost immediately. We also only do 2 ultrasound scans in pregnancy - mostly because we don't know anything much about how they affect a fetus. Less is more, so to speak.

Good luck Rebecca!


Aww, it's cute! So exciting!

Anonymous | 10:02 AM

THANK GOD. I am so relieved.


Oh, man, Rebecca. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.

Anonymous | 9:12 PM

yay! So glad you got a new doctor. We have Health Net too. I will avoid bashing them. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. ;)

Anonymous | 9:19 PM


E's Mom | 7:15 AM

Hooray!! I'm so glad it all worked out! All the best to you guys- and may you have completely barf-free days ahead! That baby's a charmer already...

Anonymous | 3:14 PM

Good for you. I dumped my OB/GYN after she lectured me about health and weight (which was unnecessary and lame and now I'm back to a size 4 thank you very much)and it was the best move I ever made. I wish I had done it sooner. Congrats on your newest little one!

Anonymous | 10:40 AM

So, so glad you got a new doc. There is no reason you should have to put up with that sort of treatment for any period of time but especially during a pregnancy.

Fraulein | 10:42 AM

Excellent news. Here's hoping the new guy will be a major improvement! There is nothing worse than having a doctor you don't feel like you can trust.

kittenpie | 5:08 PM

good for you. Pregnancy throws you enough shit without adding in the asshole.

Kristina | 9:08 PM

Kudos on looking elsewhere! I have so much to say about choosing a doctor/midwife. It really is the most important decision you will make in the long haul of your birth (besides the choice of birth location). When you talk to friends about his having a "nice bedside manner" make sure you know EXACTLY what they liked about him....what where their birth experiences like? They might have loved him because his methods aligned with their birth preferences, which might be 180 degrees away from yours. Get the nitty gritty details from their birth stories and make sure your priorities align.

Then, ask him as well. Don't wait until the 8th month to hand the doc your birth openly now about your wishes in childbirth. Ask specifics. If you ask "how often do you do episiotomy" and you get back "I do episiotomy only when it is necessary" consider that an inadequate response. Turn back with "and how often do you find it necessary?"

He works for you. Hire him like you'd hire anyone else.

Finally, you might be interested in seeing a birth story about an AMAZING doc in San Diego...check out this post from Navelgazing Midwife about "Dr. Wonderful".


Thanks for that link, Kristina. Wow! Incredible! The doctor I found came recommended by the doulas who have worked with him. He delivers in a hospital but/and is pro-choice in the birthing room. I have my first appointment April 2nd and will keep you all posted on the apt. (I had to wait a month for my HMO group to transfer.) I will definitely be talking to him about all the things you mentioned. Stay tuned! (Also, how is that there are SO MANY amazing doulas who read this blog, none of whom are LA based. Sigh...

Anonymous | 12:22 PM

glad to hear your OB situation worked out. best wishes on your 2nd baby.