Thanks For the Memories, Publisher's Weekly!

Dear Publisher's Weekly Reviewer-Person,

Thanks for not reading my book but reviewing it anyway. It's funny, because I don't recall moving my family to "The Valley" but it's certainly an interesting premise! City girl goes suburban.

Oh! And I'm also pretty sure I got married before Archer was born, as there's an entire chapter devoted to my pregnant wedding but shiyat, what do I know? I'm just some puerile, awkward San Diego suburbanite who parties and then feels guilty!

Woooo! Beer bong me next!

Rebecca

Update: Thank you all SO much for your words of encouragement. Your comments on the PW site were above and beyond. (Bad reviews are one thing but factually inaccurate reviews? Not so awesome.) You've moved me to tears on many occasions with your comments and emails and support. Yes, I'm very hormonal but still. Thank you for being my posse.

39 comments:

motherbumper | 3:38 AM

You've really made it baby. Honestly I thought it would be the Star or US Weekly that would first start make up stuff about your life. But Publisher's Weekly is good, not as salacious or paparazzi'd but that's the cult of celebrity for ya. HA!

Molly | 3:59 AM

Pub Weekly = Lameass.

And that's coming from someone in the publishing industry.

Rob | 4:17 AM

It's ironic that they use the word "awkward(ly)', as that review is one of the more awkward bits of writing that I've seen in a long time. ("Eventually they moved into the Valley and braced themselves for the baby, a boy, Archer." Nice. They should pick up some of these commas, someone might trip over them.) The one sentence that they quote from your book has more style than anything else in the review.

PunditMom | 4:31 AM

Wait, I'm supposed to read it before I review it?! ;O

Ellen | 6:56 AM

As a PW reviewer (of a different genre), I am so sorry that this happened to you! Whoever did this needs to be sent back to Remedial Reviewer School.

KaritaG | 7:12 AM

Ohhhhh, the irony...

Anonymous | 7:14 AM

And it's just so poorly written....

yo bitch, bmc | 8:06 AM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Emilie | 8:12 AM

I got yer back....

http://www.publishersweekly.com/index.asp?layout=talkbackCommentsFull&talk_back_header_id=6507993&articleid=CA6530011#99600

jeneration-x | 8:23 AM

That review was horribly written! Apparently the reviewer can't read or write - perhaps the reason for all the errors? PW has got some job cutting to do!

AmyD | 8:25 AM

I take it that whoever wrote this review is the same person who wouldn't have laughed had they heard their child call a "sock" a "cock." Fuck 'em all!!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 8:25 AM

Emile? I could kiss you on the mouth, with tongue. Thanks for your support. That was rad of you. (I didn't even know you could comment like that!)

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 8:27 AM

And thanks for the support, all. Who needs PW? I have a posse of awesome! I win!

Emilie | 10:04 AM

I just read that as "possum of awesome". Which is nearly as good as a posse, I suppose....

Chef's Widow | 10:11 AM

I don't even know you managed to write this post between all your late night drinking & smoking sessions. Not to mention the guilt. Ohhh the guilt.

Sal Glynn | 11:26 AM

Reviewers who inaccurately hammer a book don't hang around for very long. The reviews dissapate into the ether real fast, too. ROCKABYE truly rocks and anyone who doesn't know this as fact is too damn puerile for notice.

kgirl | 11:31 AM

Dude, YOUR BOOK is for sale. Written, published, bound, and up there on ol' Amazon for the whole world to buy. Don't let PW ruin the moment!

Meredyth | 11:32 AM

Wow, what a shitty review. They obviously don't know good, cool moms, who don't want to disappear into khaki shorts and vans, when they see or read about them. And poorly written! There's no excuse! I can't wait to read your book.

laurenzo | 11:38 AM

wow. i could have written a better review in my coma.

it's so crazy how you live in the valley and stuff. i wonder how i get to your house so fast. i must be a really good driver.

i love you. you're brilliant. your book is brilliant.

p.s. PW, you put the weak in weekly. BURNED! only it's spelled differently! cuz. from before. get it? weakly. because you're called publisher's weekly. i just changed that last word a little bit. no? shit.

Anonymous | 12:02 PM

Publishers's Weekly?! Who?! Never heard of 'em!

If he were alive, I think even Shakespeare would call this reviewer an impertinent beef-witted vassal! Ya like that? For more creative insults and/or curses check out:

http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html

BTW - I use these curses when riding in the car with my nine-month old so she doesn't pick up my potty mouth.

Remember, even the greatest writers have their critics. That boob probably can't write his/her own book, which is why s/he's reviewing other peoples instead. I think your writing is awesome & can't wait to read your book.

Rachel (an "anonymous" lurker)

Norm | 12:19 PM

Hi GGC,
I wonder if this slam job was written by an alter-ego of somebody like Grady Harp. The article linked is a fascinating exposé of the hidden world of on line reviewing.

Anonymous | 12:37 PM

GGC, you rock. PW, you suck.

Fans of GGC, I love the replies written on PW's link that Emilie sent.
However, I think we should spread some 'becca-love on the Amazon site, myself. WAY more people will see that than ever will see the PU site. Oops...the PW site. I really did make that typo, but it's appropriate, isn't it?

Jaelithe | 12:59 PM

Awkwardly puerile? How about that review? Have to agree with the previous comments that the review is very poorly written. It's like the reviewer has never met a well-constructed sentence. Hi, Publisher's Weekly? Meet Strunk and White. Mr. Strunk and Mr. White would like to have a talk with you.

My guess is you offended a Puritan.

I am totally buying your book TODAY. I'll inform my husband it's my Valentine's Day present.

caramama | 1:23 PM

That review was seriously poorly written on top of being obvious that the reviewer had not read the book.

I can't wait until the book is out so I can do a write up about how good it is. Because come on, we all know it's gonna be good. We've read your work. ;-)

Jules | 1:43 PM

That review was pathetic. As a side note, as someone who got knocked up and moved from the Westside to the Valley, I can tell you that there is nothing interesting about that premise.

ALEXA YOUNG | 1:54 PM

You know I agree with everyone here. So glad to see the well-crafted responses on the PW site--and I can't wait to read all the legitimate, glowing reviews from people who've actually read your book. That will put this puerile "reviewer" in his/her place.

mfk | 1:56 PM

laaaaaaaaame.

that is all. happy valentine's day. i'm sure your book kicks ass... HOWEVER, i fully intend to buy it and read it before passing judgment. you know, just for a change. mix it up a bit.

also, speaking of reviews: thankyousomuch for your post on Juno. i am really lazy about seeing movies, even ones i want to see, and i have to say the fact that you loved it so much was what finally got me there. amazing. i now totally want to be bffs with ellen page and/or diablo cody. LOVE.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:51 PM

My cup runneth over with love for you wonderful lovelies. Thank you. THANK YOU. I am the luckiest writer-person on the face.

Jaci | 3:06 PM

F'em.
And just you wait until this posse gets our hands on that book of yours...your reviews will be glowing like a hunk of Kryptonite.

creative-type dad | 3:18 PM

You should email and say they left out your beer-drinking pet monkey.

And yes, I'm totally getting your book (too cool)

Binky | 3:34 PM

Look at it this way: I bet Henry Miller dealt with a lot of bad and poorly conceived book reviews, too. But wait until you write something that's banned on the grounds of obscenity...then you'll know you've really made it ;)

kittenpie | 6:59 PM

What a fucking crock. I'll tell you something - anyone who takes their position as a reviewer seriously would do way better than that, even for a book they hated after reading it. I did just the other month, in fact. If you don't like it, you have to talk about why, and what DID work, too. It's only right to be honest and balanced.

But from what I know of your writing, they must have been reading some other crap, or reading every seventeenth word on every fourteenth page and figuring that was supposed to be strung together to make a sentence. That's the only way they could see awkward and puerile in your writing. Which, by the way, is generally wonderful, and even extremely powerful when you go right into a topic.

Don't let the bastards get you down, GGC.

sweetb | 8:15 PM

Their review is so poorly written, it's embarassing. Why did they even bother??! for the love! It's like one of your other fans said, I would have thought it from Star or US weekly, catching you pushing your grocery cart or other "just like us" moments and mishaps.. but what the ??? do these PW schmucks know?! love ya, sis.

Agatha | 3:09 AM

What was the POINT in that PW review? It wasn't even punctuated properly! Grrrr.

withoutsanity | 7:34 AM

Oh my god....how off base can you even get??

mothergoosemouse | 7:38 AM

That reviewer needs an editor, stat. And a copy of Hooked on Phonics. Geez.

the weirdgirl | 10:43 AM

I wouldn't sweat it... I bet that "reviewer" is some bitter fool getting paid $10 and a free copy of the book in the hopes that reviews will be the career break to get he/she out of cube farm hell. (And with that review, I doubt it will work.)

Karen Harrington | 9:03 AM

Thanks for courageously posting your comments about PW! This writer applauds you because I just had a PW review (2/25) that included one significant inaccuracy that caused me to conclude "This reviewer did not read the second half of my book." So kudos to you!

K.Harrington

Anonymous | 1:30 PM

That review was obviously written by a khaki-wearing, SUV-driving soccer mom who leaves her children in daycare while plying her loathsome trade. My sisters here at Yurt Farm and I salute you for your courageous depiction of a young womyn's struggle in the face of male domination and the petrochemical poisoning of our Beautiful Mother Earth, or whatever the hell "Rockabilly" was about.