Yesterday while joking with a friend about how I can't control my crying, I burst into tears.
At first I was fine.
"All I do is cry," I laughed. "Like on my way to the coffee shop? I cried. Because I saw two girls laughing in a car and for some reason, I couldn't contain myself. "
"Wow. Really? That must be weird."
"Yeah. It is. And you know what else...? " I trailed off. I could feel the tears bubble and boil. I bit my lip, widened my eyes and... "It's just. SO. HARD! You know? Or maybe you don't know because you're a guy. You have no idea! "
And then I was sobbing. And laughing. And then that freaky cry-laugh that becomes almost demonic, hysterical, unstoppable...
"Uh... do you want a napkin or something?"
Once again, my trying to make someone laugh had resulted in making myself cry. Smooth.
Wednesday, during a photo shoot for a magazine who kindly purchased two excerpts of Rockabye, I had to duck behind a bench and then a palm tree and cry in private. Archer refused to be photographed, I missed the memo re: seasonal dress. It was storming and we were shooting outside. Under normal circumstances I would see the comedy in this kind of situation, but pregnancy has robbed me of my sense of humor and replaced it with, big-ol-pussy-syndrome. (No offense to anyone's girly bits.) After the shoot I cried all the way home until I was literally cry-heaving. I didn't even know it was possible but one CAN run out of tears.
Today, dehydrated from so many bouts of hysteria, I drank eighteen glasses of water. And I'm still thirsty. I have never experienced anything quite like this before. I don't PMS. I'm relatively stable at all times. Laid back. With my mind on my money, etc. Even when I was pregnant with Archer I was a rock. No symptoms whatsoever and certainly no mood-swing-hormonal-craziness. I didn't spend my days face down crying. I just went about my business, ate a bunch of ice cream until I looked like the Michelin Man (I'm hoping to be spared the wrath of nose-ate-my-face-syndrome this go around. Time will tell) and popped the occasional tum for heartburn.
I always rolled my eyes when women talked about their hormones getting the best of them during pregnancy. Ha! I guess this would be my payback: me Captain Kleenex of the United Snot of Waterworks. I'm just hoping it ends. Soon.
It does, right?
Please say, yes? Or I'll cry.
Psyche! Trick question! I'm already crying.