Spring Break Your Mother's Back


I was excited at first when told that this week would be Archer's spring break. "Maybe we'll go down to Cabo and take our shirts off!" I joked because it's Spring Break! Woo! Then I realized maybe that was inappropriate to say out loud. To strangers. Oops.

It took me until day one of Spring Break (yesterday) to realize Spring Break is for teachers and not for parents and their kids. Archer wants to be in school. He needs to be in school. This I now know for a definite fact. He has no patience for my activities. He could care less about our usual fun-filled Pinkberry runs and lazy afternoons knocking shit over in The Little Seed. Even the park won't suffice this week. Today even our back-up plan for difficult days: riding the trolley for hours back and forth at The Grove failed to result in a complete mission. A ten minute tantrum in the parking lot and "that's it. We're going home."


Dragging my spring-broken child back to the car, it occurred to me that I was in excruciating pain. My back's been jacked-up for days but I just wrote it off as stress-related. Not so much. My left ass-bone area suddenly felt like someone hit it with a baseball bat. I crumbled to the floor, begging Archer to walk on two-legs to the car. The timing!

"You're mommy can't walk! I can't move! OH GOD!"


Somehow we made it back to the car without me exploding and with a little coercing ("Wanna watch Cars and eat cookie-flavored ice cream cake. Cookie. Icecream. Chocolate?" ) into the house, where I was able to set up shop on the couch and fall asleep sitting at a 90 degree angle.

I have since been in and out of consciousness, chugging Glow Mama and popping soy chicken nuggets by Morningstar, pleading with Archer to stop jumping on my problem area.

Honestly, a shirtless Cabo mission doesn't sound so bad right about now. I'd gladly take dirty looks from strangers for being weird and inappropriate over this bitch of a stitch.

What's funny is that this post was originally going to be about what a great time Archer had on the Merry-Go-Round on Sunday (hence the photos) but once I started writing I realized I was too annoyed, sore and paralyzed to go there. But the photos are cute, I must say. If I didn't know any better I'd look at those smiling faces and think Spring Break was a good time had by all. I guess it is only Tuesday. If we pack up the car and leave now, we could be in Cabo by morning.

If only Archer could drive. If only I could get my hands on a wheel chair. If only... It wasn't Spring effing Break.

GGC

19 comments:

Backpacking Dad | 10:09 PM

Spring Break. I remember the days when that would have sounded like fun.

No. Wait. I was always 50, even when I was 21. I lived in San Diego in my 20's and I never once saw a girl go wild.

Spring break, now, means spending the rest of my week in Pasadena at a philosophy conference.

Spring break, now, means taking an opportunity to develop professionally.

Spring break, now, means spending my week apart from the people who matter the most, and the only girls I've seen topless in years.

Spring break, now, means finding back up childcare for my daughter. During Spring break. When every other child is out of school and their parents are looking for backup child care.

Spring break, now, means my wife is taking Friday off and I am going to work.

Spring break, now.

Maybe I'll convince some philosophers to do keg stands with me.

Meems | 2:32 AM

You are so right about spring break being for the teachers. I really miss the cafeteria lady.

I'm 5 months along and the ass pain is killing me. I just keep thinking about how much better it's going to get. Ha!

Anonymous | 7:57 AM

chiropractor!

the weirdgirl | 8:59 AM

Ooh, I'm sorry you've got back pain! I hate that; especially the sciatica. Ask your doctor for some safe pregnancy stretches. There really are some that work! (I'd show you if I lived there.)

And I'm feeling the preschool-missing-tantrums, too. Oy!

LD | 9:09 AM

I don't think it's for teachers-- I'm spending my whole break planning and grading. Blech

Fraulein | 9:32 AM

I had something that sounds very similar to this a few months after my daughter was born. An excruciating pain in the butt/upper thigh area that made it very hard to climb stairs. Physical therapy helped work it out, but it took a while. Hope you feel better soon!

Anonymous | 10:16 AM

Sciatica fo sure. I get it in the latter part of pregnancy like month six and it's a bitch kitty. Here's the thing: you shouldn't pick Archer up. I know he's gonna hate it and he may tantrum and insist on being carried because he's a smart little guy and all the talk about babies has him buggin but carrying a writhing, flailing child is the last thing you need.
I resorted to bribery with stickers when I went through it with Child 2 (prior to the appearance of Child 3.)

kittenpie | 11:35 AM

Ouch. Maybe sciatica? I know some preggy ladies have trouble with that, like a friend of a friend did. Sounds painful. Hope your back on your feet soon!

nashvegas | 3:25 PM

Rebecca, darlin'. Get thyself to a chiropractor. Like, yesterday.
Monthly (or more) adjustments throughout your pregnancy will make all the difference in the world!

laurenzo | 5:39 PM

aw!! dude! aw. you can totes borrow my wheelchair. you know, the one i made you schlep in and out of a car trunk during your first pregnancy.

love you lots. call if you need anything, for reals, son. i live not even a little far. xoxo.

Sarah | 6:15 PM

I just plain out love you.

Wishful Mommy | 12:30 AM

Does sound like sciatica. I had it with my pregnancy. Extreme pain. See a doctor. There are stretches you can do and also a massage therapist that specializes in prenatal massage. And, yes, quit lifting ARcher, my friend! Tons of hugs as you get through this!

Jaelithe | 9:56 AM

Yep. I think you're going to have to listen to that not-lifting-heavy-things advice after all.

And no, I have no idea how the mother of a preschooler is supposed to do that. Perhaps you could hire a Sherpa?

emilie | 10:39 AM

Hope you're up and rockin' soon!

Stimey | 3:54 PM

Yeah. Spring Break sucks.

creative-type dad | 4:07 PM

I bet all of the teachers are in Cabo - laughing at the parents.

mombo | 9:23 AM

My 13-month-old has been a serious handful lately--crabby if we're out strollering somewhere and I dare to stop for more than 15 seconds...crying in the car if we have to ride for more than 20 minutes. He's just not that into doing anything except playing at home, which is a huge drag for me. So I respect the hell out of the fact that despite Archer's habit of melting down, you still take him out. I've been succumbing to inertia lately and it's driving me crazy. Kudos to you for getting out and doing stuff, sciatica or no sciatica, and screaming kid in tow. You totally rock.

TechMama | 12:24 AM

Spring break for me is take my kids to work week... seriously - wtf do they think working parents can do... We take vacations - but it seems these school breaks happen once a month... Even worse in our school district we have "ski week" or what I call it "Week that rich kids get to go skiing while the kids of working slubs get to do nothing" break...

mothergoosemouse | 9:56 AM

Love the carousel shots - we always take those!

Spring Break is the same as it ever was - sit at home and envy the kids who are on vacation.