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While on blogcation (pardon the term. Fusion words are totally annoying I know and yet so... succinct!?) I spent some time nailing down a story I've spent the last ten years mapping out in my head and in notebooks, failed novels, essays, conversations. I was intimidated by my own idea, whether I'd be able to do it justice once outside my head - a fear I assume most writers have when falling in love with a concept only to doubt their ability to express. Articulation is seldom as profound as the quietness of ideas but over the last couple of weeks I've had more time to cozy up with my outline, my piles of notes and just. Write. There is nothing more exciting to me than a first draft. It's self acceptance at its finest. A new relationship complete with butterflies and a high that can't be duplicated as the drafts pile on. Anyway...

Whenever I start a new project I like to make a soundtrack. A few months ago I posted the first track to a different something I'm no longer working on. Because, well? It sucked. RIP Project Suckysuck. Alas. The awesome thing about dragging failed folders into the "Hey, at least you tried!" file is that it allows one to start new projects with all kinds of new mixtape possibilities! Hey-ah!

And so, contrary to what the name of the song might suggest, here's track one of project "New and very hopeful."...


62. Killed Myself When I was Young by: A.A.Bondy

GGC

6 comments:

A mãe que capotou | 4:10 AM

Have lot's of projects and music is a big thing in my live, yet I neve thought about a motivation soundtrack. I'll try this at home. Thanks !
And good luch with your project.

LL | 4:15 AM

I am in the same situation right now. I'm putting together my first full collections of poetry and it is sooo difficult to bring it all together. The concept is so out there that I get nervous about it's reception , and it makes me hesitant to declare it. Out loud.

But the butterflies in the stomach and seeing my (pen) name in print keep pushing me forward. It's one of the best feelings in the world.

Marcella | 7:50 AM

"I was intimidated by my own idea, whether I'd be able to do it justice once outside my head - a fear I assume most writers have when falling in love with a concept only to doubt their ability to express."

Oh my god, this basically sums up my own problem in words I was unable to find myself. I actually thought I was alone.

Thank you, Rebecca. Great post as always.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 11:10 PM

Thank you, A mae + Marcella. xo.

Olivia Singleton | 7:16 AM

When working on a new project, what are some of the processes that you go through? That sounds so... clinical. However, I'm failing to put into words the idea I have in my head.

Damn.

Ray | 10:09 PM

"I was intimidated by my own idea, whether I'd be able to do it justice once outside my head - a fear I assume most writers have when falling in love with a concept only to doubt their ability to express. Articulation is seldom as profound as the quietness of ideas..."

^^You wrote it better than I ever could. I can totally agree to that and relate to a certain degree. The ideas stay inside my head, because I'm terrified that no one would like them and that I'd fail miserably.

10 years of trying to make a dream come true, huh? That's intense. I look forward to hearing about this idea in full detail, when you decide to share it with us (if you decide to). I believe in your ability to make this idea come true. Whatever it may be. ;o)