Whether one is hiking in Runyan Canyon, eavesdropping on svelte twenty-somethings or tuning in to the Drudge Report, it seems like the C is all around. Vaginas are so last century and the caesarian section is where it's at, dudes.
No diss on the C. I almost had one myself because of complications with my pregnancy and was hardly the "naturalist" with the "I would rather die than have a C-Section" tattoo on her hip. I know you're out there, Vaginalbirthtivists. It's only a matter of time before women are protesting in front of Cedars doing reenactments of vaginal births in the parking lot. I may or may not be signing up. Depends on whether free food and drink are provided.
Regardless of your preference for delivery, you have to admit, the caesarian is kind of like the Atkins Diet was several years ago when all the restaurants were serving steak and eggs and that was all. (No wonder places like Real Foods Daily and Urth Cafe became so popular. The veg's had NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!)
It seems certain artists didn't get the memo. A C-section looks a little different than a vaginal delivery. From Britney to Gwen and Angelina, lower abdomen scars are going to become the new lower-back Butterfly tattoo and I am a little jealous.
So for my next baby I'm so totally going to make an appointment for my C-section like everyone else in this town. I'm going to be in control straight off the get-go. I want my next baby born on September 25 (I love Libras) and I want the baby to be 7 pounds 5 oz (the ideal baby weight) so I can be part of the Hollywood elite and their caesarian club. Either that or I'm starting my own.
Tell me, would you join the Vagina Club? How about the Assosiation of Birth Canal Users or Take'n it Like a Woman Anonymous? What about "Don't be a Pussy. Use your Pussy!" for a bumper sticker. I think I might be on to something.
Anyway, congratulations Hollywood elite on your babies and please keep them coming. (Especially, you hon. You are the single most effective birth control for young women in the US of A.) I know. I know. Cut her some slack, right? It sucks to be a dumbass AND famous.
Give me a couple years and I will sooooo join your club. Totally. Because the Oxymoron of the year award is soooo going to Vaginal Deliveries in Hollywood and even though I am merely a civilian, I still feel a little shy changing clothes in the Gym locker room without my C-scar.